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What’s On: So Long, Simon

I admit that amid my excitement for the American Idol finale (which does exist in spite of season nine’s stank), I’ve forgotten to be sad for Simon Cowell’s departure. I know X-Factor is coming, but a part of my TV-viewing life is morphing forever. Change is not my strong suit. Paula Abdul’s reappearance tonight will soften the blow somewhat, but I’m not prepared for Simon’s inevitable bawling. And by “bawling,” I mean “cheeky quips that create tension between Kara and Paula, probably forever.”

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What’s On: So Long, Simon

Rachel Weisz on Agora, Her Job Description and the Cinema of Ideas

This week’s sweeping epic Agora is a bit of a headscratcher — not necessarily for its concentration on the bloody collision of religion, science, romance and politics in 4th-century Alexandria, but instead for the fact that a film so serious and substantial wasn’t itself made extinct somewhere along the development pipeline. Credit Rachel Weisz, the Oscar-winner whose commitment to writer-director Alejandro Amenabar has resulted in one of 2010’s unlikeliest biopics.

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Rachel Weisz on Agora, Her Job Description and the Cinema of Ideas

Adrien Brody vs. Gay Goats

It’s not easy to be an actor who inexplicably owns a castle ! So says Adrien Brody, who had a recent problem with the gay goats he accidentally bought: “The more well-endowed goat took a liking to the other one and I swear it was traumatic. There was a lot of crying and goat noises and I felt incredibly guilty and I didn’t know what to do…It’s best when you have goats that are that gay to just let them free.” [ Ace Showbiz via Towleroad ]

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Adrien Brody vs. Gay Goats

Guess Who Wore… This to the Sex and the City 2 Premiere?

This really should be one of those “presented without comment” kinds of things: I’m not much of a fashion commentator, and even if I were, there are no words. Nevertheless, the garment at right was in fact worn by an attendee at Monday night’s Sex and the City 2 premiere. Spend 10 seconds of your day making a guess, and even if you know right way, spend the balance of that time asking, Say whaaaa?

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Guess Who Wore… This to the Sex and the City 2 Premiere?

6 Questions Raised By the News of a Soapdish Remake

1. Why? 2. Rob Reiner is attached? Again, why? 3. According to Pajiba , the film will be set behind the scenes of a telenovela, presumably necessitating brand new characters and a passel of story changes. So…do we really need to call this Soapdish ?

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6 Questions Raised By the News of a Soapdish Remake

Misogynistic Piranha 3-D Resorts to Tweeting Girl-Slapping Videos

In this installment of “How Desperate are the Marketers of Piranha 3-D Today?”, let’s browse the Twitter feed belonging to Derrick, the soft-core porn impresario (and Piranha 3-D perv) around whose Wild Wild Girls empire the film’s viral campaign is based. And I do mean “viral,” because this is the kind of stuff that makes you wish you had some antibiotics lying around.

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Misogynistic Piranha 3-D Resorts to Tweeting Girl-Slapping Videos

Did Betty White’s SNL Actually Trump the Lost Finale?

Add this to the list of numbers that make Sunday’s Lost finale ratings a bit underwhelming: 15 million. That is the number of viewers who watched Betty White’s episode of Saturday Night Live earlier this month when you factor in digital recorder numbers. According to preliminary figures , that would lift White over Lost ‘s epic primetime closer by nearly 2 million viewers. Lost ‘s own DVR stats are pending, but it’ll be awfully close. Take that, Smoke Monster. [ Media Decoder ]

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Did Betty White’s SNL Actually Trump the Lost Finale?

Going the Distance Trailer: Barrymore and Long Have Fun, Won’t Travel

In 23 seasons of The Real World , there have been countless roommates who spend the bulk of their running time either a) on the phone with the significant others they left behind, b) moaning to the camera about the significant others they left behind, or c) cheating on the significant others they left behind. The Drew Barrymore/Justin Long romcom Going the Distance is about a young couple doing a) and b) but fearing the possibility of c).

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Going the Distance Trailer: Barrymore and Long Have Fun, Won’t Travel

Boycotts Urged Over White Stars in Prince of Persia, Last Airbender

If it’s summer, and there are a pair of mainstream blockbusters about Persian and Asian warriors ready to open, then count on a “yellowface” controversy to saddle both on the way to release. Such are the scenarios facing Prince of Persia and The Last Airbender , both of which are presently on defensive as unfortunate casualties of the Slowest News Day of 2010 .

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Boycotts Urged Over White Stars in Prince of Persia, Last Airbender

Which was Paula Abdul’s Better Option: Got to Dance or X-Factor?

Paula Abdul’s new gig as lead judge on CBS’ s upcoming series Got to Dance is… happy? Grim? An opportunity for the 47-year-old singer to bring back her oversize blazers and leggings? Not so bad? Whatever it is, it’s not a Simon Cowell production, and that makes us fearful for next year’s smattering of reality competitions. I certainly figured that Paula would join Simon on the American version of his hit X-Factor . But could it be that Paula Abdul’s smartest move is detaching from all American Idol associations for good?

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Which was Paula Abdul’s Better Option: Got to Dance or X-Factor?