Okay I have been sent this post from Ted Casablanc almost a half dozen times. And sometiems people have becoem cranky wiht me for not puting it up. So okay here it is. The may not be swingers like Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off, but Henrietta Hard-Ball and her blandly good-looking husband, Elijah Schwad, have a convenient relationship when it comes to sex. Like so many famous couples. Henrietta’s allowed to pursue (with ferocious abandon, mind you) her high-powered career, as long as Elijah takes care of the family and the home. It’s an arrangement that’s served both spouses well, for many reasons. But ah, the only reason that causes us to really care about her is the one that makes Elijah happy. Can you guess what it is? A little bed-time dynamic that might make even Toothy Tile jump for joy? Yep, you guessed it (otherwise you’re reading the wrong column, really), Elijah lives to get it on with the dudes. But like so many selfish men—is there any other kind?—Elijah also wanted a happy home and a family, so he brokered a deal with the attractive, driven Henrietta, who’s about as interested in sex these days as Lindsay Lohan is in working. So both kinda fake-married folks get what they want—a career for her, a harem of hotties for him. What’s even more interesting about this scenario is the fact that Henrietta and Elijah don’t have your typical celeb following. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick they are not. Let’s just say that one of them works in a business that is mercilessly driven by what Middle America deigns right and wrong. If anybody in this corn-fed fanbase the kinky twosome so direly depends on ever got wind of the debauched details in the couple’s sex arrangement, life would be over for them both—in seconds. Hmmm. That’s quite a gamble, wonder why either of them are even taking it? Oh, that’s right, Henrietta’s never been known to see anything close to reason, completely forgot. AND IT AIN’T: Gisele and Tom Brady, Mo’Nique and Sidney Hicks, Michelle and Barack Obama Yes, I agree that the description of this couple sounds suspiciously like Todd and Sarah Palin. However unless Casablanca has uncovered something that has escaped the notice of every journalist and blogger up here, the description of this man having sex with other guys precludes him from being Todd Palin. Believe me I have heard almost every single kind of rumor that you can hear about the Palins, and I have never even heard a whisper of one like this. I could go down a list of all of the actual rumors I have heard, but I have no idea which ones have any validity, or which ones have been shared in confidence and nobody else is supposed to know. (I get a lot of those!) But for the record, as far as I know Todd likes the ladies. Believe me if I knew otherwise I would probably have hinted at it by now. Or I would just confirm that Casablanca is on to something. But I have no information that leads me to that conclusion. (By the way if you click the title and read the comments on the Awful Truth it is pretty clear they have little doubt that it is about Todd and Sarah. Gee I wonder who it’s REALLY about?)
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Ted Casablanca’s Awful Truth blind item is NOT the Palins. At least I am pretty sure it is not.
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