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There was a time when Genevieve Morton and I would send each other sweet little nothings over Twitter, but that was long before she became a big shot model for SI. Now if I’d Tweet her, she’d most likely ignore me. I don’t blame her though. I’m just a sad dude who lives in his mother’s basement who regularly dines on Hot Pockets and writes about girls that I have absolutely no chance with. Anyway, before you start feeling sorry for me, I just want to let you guys know, I haven’t given up! My dream of seducing one of these SI models is still alive because I just saw that stupid documentary “The Secret” and it claims if you can visualize it as if it were really happening, it eventually will. If that’s true, Genevieve Morton and I will be getting married very soon, and you’re all invited to the wedding.