Tag Archives: basement

RIP Motherfucker the Hannah Montana Edition of the Day

Posted on June 20, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

With last night’s sad news of James Gandolfini dying, an actor, who I actually liked watching, I figured I’d do another death post, because for some reason people love celebrity death, especially the news media, because it allows us to focus on what is really important in the world, rather than those boring political objectives that just fill up the public’s mind with ideas of anarchy, which the government doesn’t fucking want…. So today’s Celebrity Death to tweet about is Hannah Montana…and what better way to celebrate the life of Hannah Montana than with some GIFs of the Miley Cyrus from her new video everyone has a boner for…cuz Disney Starlets worth millions can’t be exhibitionist sluts, it just goes against all Disney represents to the public, because none of us see the child molestation that happens behind closed doors, that make a girl broke enough to crave this kid of male attention…male attention I love giving… Here are the We Can’t Stop GIFS of the Day

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RIP Motherfucker the Hannah Montana Edition of the Day

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Jenny McCarthy for Carl’s JR of the Day

Posted on June 20, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Jenny McCarthy is whoring out her big fake tits to promote some Carl’s Jr healthy choice, that is probably not healthy at all, because it is a fast food chain that is behind so many heart attacks, and I am pretty sure this Salad, despite seeming healthy, is probably thousands of calories of GMOed food… I like that dude says “We’ve been a fan of Jenny’s since the 90s”…which is coincidentally the last time she was relevant…and not 100 fucking years old… Seeing her trying to have sex with a salad like it was a cock and she was looking for more autistic semen…is interesting…but She irritates me when she does her funny, male accessible, clowning shit, like the kind of girl who burps and farts, and is loud and annoying, but has sex appeal when gagged and tied up in the basement on sedatives….like she’s always been, because I don’t mind her big stupid fake tits, even 2 decades later, cuz I’m easy like that and apparently Jenny McCarthy will do anything, if you tell her you want her to pretend she’s still a hot Playboy sex symbol…I feel like she didn’t even get paid for this…it was just “you think I still got it, let me in”…or maybe her people contacted their people and begged for this…either way, it happened!

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Jenny McCarthy for Carl’s JR of the Day

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Shelby Keeton in her Bikini for Marie Claire of the Day

Posted on June 12, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Shelby Keeton is a babe. Which I guess would explain why she’s a model. I’m surprised I’ve never heard of her, because if I had, I would have taken advantage of her low level of fame and booked her to shoot nudes in my basement at a discount rate, but now that she’s in some major publication, she’s probably more expensive than “Free cocaine”…making her one of the many who have got away. Lost opportunity that I should spend more time preventing by stalking the “New Faces” section of the modelling agencies…. I don’t know where she’s from, but I’m gonna assume heaven.

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Shelby Keeton in her Bikini for Marie Claire of the Day

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Emily Ratakowski Amazing Twitter Pic of the Day

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Emily Ratakowski is a model who is on the cusp of being a porn slut, in a good way, not in an actual porn slut who is broken, with daddy issues and drug addiction, trying to get ahead, because she doesn’t actually fuck on camera, she just gets naked all the fucking time, I’ve seen her vagina more than I’ve seen my mom’s vagina and my mom was a hooker and we had a studio apartment…sure my mom died when I was a kid, but in those 5 years her vagina was exposed 90 percent of the time, okay maybe my mom vagina reference wasn’t a good one, and maybe I’ve seen Emity RATATATATATTATAATKOWSKI’s vagina because I tattooed in on my brain, you know printed up pictures of it and wall papered my bedroom with it…you know maybe cuz I’m staring at it right now, because it is perfect…and so is Emily, that is why I have fallen in love with her, and can’t look at any other girl, at least not right now, when staring this twitter pic, because she’s got me trapped, sucked in and willing to sign my life over to her. Seriously. I’d do more than just write love songs for her, I’d even hide in her basement to surprise her when she’s sleeping, to sing them to her. She’s that good.

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Emily Ratakowski Amazing Twitter Pic of the Day

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Emily Ratakowski Amazing Twitter Pic of the Day

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Emily Ratakowski is a model who is on the cusp of being a porn slut, in a good way, not in an actual porn slut who is broken, with daddy issues and drug addiction, trying to get ahead, because she doesn’t actually fuck on camera, she just gets naked all the fucking time, I’ve seen her vagina more than I’ve seen my mom’s vagina and my mom was a hooker and we had a studio apartment…sure my mom died when I was a kid, but in those 5 years her vagina was exposed 90 percent of the time, okay maybe my mom vagina reference wasn’t a good one, and maybe I’ve seen Emity RATATATATATTATAATKOWSKI’s vagina because I tattooed in on my brain, you know printed up pictures of it and wall papered my bedroom with it…you know maybe cuz I’m staring at it right now, because it is perfect…and so is Emily, that is why I have fallen in love with her, and can’t look at any other girl, at least not right now, when staring this twitter pic, because she’s got me trapped, sucked in and willing to sign my life over to her. Seriously. I’d do more than just write love songs for her, I’d even hide in her basement to surprise her when she’s sleeping, to sing them to her. She’s that good.

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Emily Ratakowski Amazing Twitter Pic of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel and Lily Aldridge Model Bikinis of the Day

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

You know what….Victoria’s Secret models have pretty good bodies. You should print this up, tape it to your fridge, and tell your wife how you expect her to look like this in the next 3 to 8 months, and everytime you see her snacking, show her what girls are supposed to look like….the subtle approach will either land you a hotter wife, or better, she’ll leave you for reasons of emotional abuse, take half of everything you have, and leave you free to masturbate to girls like this, cuz we all know there’s no way any of these girls are fucking you…. All this to say, I’m a fan of staring at them… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK

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Candice Swanepoel and Lily Aldridge Model Bikinis of the Day

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Michea Crawford Naked for Fashion of the Day

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Michea Crawford used to live in Montreal. We have a lot of mutual friends. I don’t think I’ve ever met her, which is probably a good thing, because if I did, I’d probably want to pull a Cleveland on her and make her my child bride, all locked in my basement. She’s just that perfect. Seriously. She’s got this amazing face, this amazing body, and is the kind of girl I would like to write my love about in my diary. You know the kind of girl I spend my entire life mourning never knowing, but feeling like a better man, knowing that we may have been in the same room at least once in our lives….forever connected at the soul….despite her not knowing who I am…kinda thing. All this to say, I am convinced she’s the next big thing in modeling, if she plays her cards right and hustles proper, there is no reason why she can’t be an SI Swimsuit girl or a Victoria’s Secret girl….I mean she’s as hot as those bitches…but I wouldn’t be too bummed if she kept up these nipple filled photoshoots for the rest of time…they are fun to stare at and fall in love with all over again. Michea Crawford for president.

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Michea Crawford Naked for Fashion of the Day

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Ieva Laguna Hot in Bathing Suits for Free People of the Day

Posted on March 29, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Ieva Laguna is 22, has done Vogue 4 times, and was in the 2011 Victoria’s Secret Fashion show. She’s now doing some shit for a brand called Free People, that involves her in a bikini, looking all fucking lovely and shit. Romantic, like out of a 60s photo album you found in your basement of your parents on summer vacation, that you were able to jerk off to, cuz your mom doesn’t look like that anymore, it was practically like thinking about fucking another person, those hard nipples, that bikini, those old cars and the instagram effects before instagram….only less creeepy and filled with a hot currently 22 year old, not one that has weathered into a muff gut, wrinkly dried up pig. I’m into this Latvian babe. Latvia got all kinds of good pussy and that’s about all Latvia has.

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Ieva Laguna Hot in Bathing Suits for Free People of the Day

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Hulk Hogan Loves His Daughter Too Much and It is Amazing of the Day

Posted on January 29, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Hulk Hogan, who is rumored to fuck his daughter…or at least jerk off to her, while he’s not fucking girls who look a lot like her…you know in a genetic attraction situation that happens all the time….a dad loves his daughter cuz he made like some scientist in the basement…and now society tells him he can’t fuck her…but they can’t break that love apart…not as he doesn’t touch her and just jerks off to the camera’s he’s got set up in her bathroom and bedroom…. When not filming sex tapes, he’s been photographed rubbing her erotically…and you’d think he’d pull back a bit when posting a pic celebrating her legs…..on twitter…that obviously people ripped him a new asshole for…cuz let’s face it…he’s known or at least the ongoing joke is that he lusts after his baby girl…. This was his reaction…to the uprising…. I think it’s safe to say the more positive things he has to do….is he was talking about was trying to get Brooke Pregnant…in his mind….while taking a bath… Come on people, can’t a guy like his daughter….a little too much….

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Hulk Hogan Loves His Daughter Too Much and It is Amazing of the Day

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Shalana Santana’s Lingerie of the Day

Posted on January 3, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

As I freeze my fucking dick off like I was Ryan Seacrest in his basement sex change room….only with less conviction….or choice….I figure the best way to celebrate the horribly frozen life I live is to stare at hot Brazilian models, modeling some lingerie in some catalog shots, that are about as exciting as any catalog shot you’ve jerked off to in your life time, which is not really that exciting, but still half naked….like anyone has jerked off to a fucking catalog shot in the last 10 years…this is the internet… YOU CAN GET PORN ON HERE …..but hot bodies are still lovely to look at especially when the last skin you’ve seen was from the neck up this winter…..cuz girls don’t whore out half naked when it is below zero….

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Shalana Santana’s Lingerie of the Day

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