Let’s be honest: An Apple Watch would make for a pretty terrific birthday present. But there’s one thing that trumps even this gift of technological wonder: an impending baby!!!! Wife Surprises Husband with Baby News on Birthday In a viral video making the rounds, a wife hands her husband an Apple Watch box. Once he opens his eyes and sees what’s in front of him, the husband is rather excited. “Oh, is this that watch?” he asks. “Really?!?” Turns out… nope, not really. It’s a positive pregnancy test, which results in the man asking multiple times whether or not his wife is “serious,” only for him to then devolve in a mess of tears. No woman could ever ask for a better reaction from her father-to-be. We dare you to watch this footage without crying yourseslf. It’s not easy! View Slideshow: 14 Awesome Pregnancy Announcements
Jessica Simpson has a message for married women around the world. Inch closer to your computer screen. Focus. Listen up. Here it is: I’ve got the sexiest husband on Earth!!!!! That actually is what Simpson has written on Instagram in honor of Eric Johnson turning 36 years old on Tuesday. The artist shared the black-and-white photo above on her account and included with it a caption that reads: “My husband is hotter than yours! Happy Birthday Eric Maxwell Johnson! You forever make me lust.” A tad bit TMI, but mostly pretty cute, no? Everyone should remain this enamored by their significant other after many years together. Parents to daughter Maxwell Drew, 3, and son Ace, 2, Simpson and Johnson first stepped out together in May 2010 and got engaged that November. In July 2014, the two exchanged vows in an intimate wedding at San Ysidro Ranch in Montecito, California. And this isn’t the first time Simpson has bragged about her attractive husband. She let a couple photos say a couple thousands words about the couple in February when she posted some ” Fifty Shades of Johnson ” images that depicted her and her man in states of undress. “I couldn’t be more in love. And he’s given me two of the best blessings I could imagine. Having a boy and a girl, I’m just blessed. They inspire me,” Simpson said on The Today Show soon afterward.
Are Kylie Jenner and Tyga dating? He says no, or at least he did before she turned 18. Now he … still doesn't say yes, but it's so obvious. The two certainly are close, as evidenced by these many great photos. And by “great” we mean likely to make you cringe a little, but still. Especially the Tiger toy one. Just creepy symbolism there. 1. Kylie Jenner Tiger Toy Image Kylie held a tiger toy up to her crotch during a recent photoshoot. We think it might be her subtle way of saying she’s banging Tyga. 2. Kylie Jenner and Tyga Kissing Kylie Jenner and Tyga kissing in his video for Stimulated. Try not to get too much so watching this. 3. Kylie Jenner and Tyga on Her Birthday Kylie Jenner and Tyga on her 18th birthday. It was undoubtedly a celebratory day filled with great joy … for him. 4. Kylie and Tyga Work Out Kylie and Tyga working out, as seen by Rob Kardashian! Who was also out for a run! Wow! 5. Tyga and Kylie Jenner Do Good Tyga and Kylie Jenner pose here at children’s hospital. The couple likes to give back from time to time. 6. Kylie Jenner and Tyga Together Kylie Jenner and Tyga together in June 2015 … and possibly together forever. Just wait until she turns 18. View Slideshow
Miley Cyrus was celebrating her birthday, or her friend’s birthday, or knowing Miley, one of her attempts at a high concept, porny, Tumblr selfie shoot, as part of her “performance” art and branding, that makes people like me think, “At least she’s not Taylor Swift”….while playing the media in what I call “Just being Miley”… Yes, it’s all a fabricated lie. but it’s half naked, and really, is anything really real anymore anyway? I think life is just a series of me interacting with my computer in my shithole I call home… It’s all a fucking fantasy, so as long as it’s some overpaid pop bitch in a bikini on all fours covered in cake, I’m ok with the lies… The post Miley Cyrus Cake Picture of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
I posted pics and videos of RITA ORA in concert showing her tits… …in what I read was her first concert beyond showing up to other people’s concerts for some Cameos because she’s fucking in the right circle…and/or performing at Birthday parties and Bar Mitzvah’s in the UK as Rihanna before saying “I really have something here, I am going to move to America with my DJ friend Calvin who fucks me after his local gigs, and make my dreams come true”.. Well some pervert put it in slow motion and for some reason I am compelled to post and celebrate this internet weirdness…because pasties and panties never get old…even if the person in them does…both physically and in terms of relevance…you know… The post Rita ORa’s Slow Motion Upskirt of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
Kardashians Share Photos From James Harden Birthday Party Even though Khloe Kardashian and James Harden have only been dating for about a month , that didn’t stop the first family of reality tv from throwing the Houston Rockets baller a huge boat bash for his 26th birthday last night. The Kardashian and Jenner girls got their prints back from the famous photo booth they set up at all the family soirees and have been posting all their favorite flicks from James’ shindig to Instagram today. Take a look: You can kiiiiiind of see James trying to squeeze into his own birthday photo through all the Dash/Jenners here. If you squint. Welcome to the family, James! Hit the flip for more pics and vids of the REAL stars of James’ birthday blowout after the jump… Instagram / SnapChat
I didn’t realize it was my birthday already, but that’s the only explanation I can think of for why we’ve got brand-new lingerie pictures from a bunch of my favorite hotties today: Miranda Kerr , Rosie Huntington-Whiteley , Lily Donaldson , Candice Swanepoel , Kate Upton , and Anja Rubik … And okay, so according to my sources, these are actually for V Magazine ‘s upcoming issue, but if you’re looking for what to get me this year, now you know. Continue reading →
This reporter is wrong…I like to think that my favorite kind of lettuce is the lettuce grown on an anus…but only if the anus belongs to a used up street hooker…because that’s the kind of anus you can expect produce, usually mushrooms, to be growing on…which is ironic because they generally don’t eat vegetables as it gets in the way of the meth… The post Reporter’s Uranus Joke of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
I think it is safe to say…that people are bored as fuck…or lame as fuck…or pathetic as fuck… Because a world that goes out of their way to go worship a Kylie Jenner type of person, to the point of paying her 200,000 dollars to hangout for her 18th birthday, even though she’s a vapid cunt who offers the world very little, and just shows up as a little puppet or selfie taking sex toy, being offered money by porn companies to make porn, because she looks like a 30 year old weathered porn chick, and because she fills her ass up with big older black cock… Even if the people are only there because there is nothing else going on, and why not stare at an over-hyped piled of shit, like it was in an aquarium at the fucking zoo….when really , observing shit in an aquarium is a horrible activity….I’ve tried int… Maybe it’s just this whole selfie generation, and she’s queen of the selfie, a product of her sister, also a selfie champion and pornstar, that get so much media hype…especially on social media, all for doing nothing, which I guess this is what people are drawn to, this is what they envy, do a porn tape, become the center of attention, for no reason, make the world see your instagram pics, get those likes…take those selfies.. Sure she’s got a fucking pile of issues, being the youngest in the shitiest family, or maybe she’s got daddy issues…you know since her dad thinks he has a pussy…because girls get more attention and he loves attention… It’s pretty disgusting on all levels, and that’s not even delving into her already banged out pussy, that’s just looking at top level of she represents…because I think it is important to know that you can be a useless cunt at 18…. Here are some pics – she’s barely cute… The post Kylie Jenner’s 35th Birthday Party in Canada of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
