Jeff Ross, Mike Tyson… Kate Walsh? An unusual group of celebrities gathered last night for the taping of the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen. Who delivered the best jokes? How did Sheen react? Below, check out the highlights of a broadcast that will air on September 19… Amy Schumer : “You’re just like Bruce Willis – you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.” Jeff Ross : “ Brooke Mueller is not very bright unless Charlie throws a lamp at her… Mike Tyson, your opponents spent more time bleeding in the corner than Charlie’s ex wives.” Kate Walsh : “It’s amazing, after abusing your lungs, liver and kidneys, the only thing you’ve had removed is your kids.” Seth MacFarlane : “Charlie, you claim to have ‘tiger blood,’ but after all the porn stars you’ve [had sex with,] it’s probably Tiger Woods’ blood.” Steve-O : “Charlie still hasn’t hit rock bottom, he’s is looking forward to it though because he thinks there’s a rock there.” In response to this jabs, Sheen eventually took to the stage and said: “Once again, I come out unscathed. You can’t hurt me. I can’t kill me. Did you really think your little jokes were going to hurt me? I did porn stars; I did drugs. Then I did the one thing everybody in America wishes he could do. I told my boss to f— off. And then it was gone. I’m done with ‘the winning’ because I’ve already won.”
