Instead of grading yesterday Dancing with the Stars ‘s rumba/tango night using the judges’ scores as a rubric, why don’t we base the winning performance on what really matters? I’m talking about how close judge Bruno Tonioli came to a staggering heart attack. That’s the tell of real artistry. After the jump, we revisit the nine remaining performers’ routines, rate Tonioli’s bodily response on a scale from 1 (inert) to 10 (meth-splattered convulsions), and reinterpret Tonioli’s critiques as we remembered them. We also listed the real scores for your statistical pleasure.
Read more:
Dancing with the Stars Recap: Introducing the Bruno Tonioli Heart-Attack Meter
