Tag Archives: chinese

Packing On The Pounds? Zoe Saldana Says She Has “Let Herself Go” After Swirly Secret Marriage To Italian Artist

Zoe’s too focused on her new husband to be bothered with gyms and diets these days. In a recent interview with Net-A-Porter, the notoriously thin actress revealed that ever since she strolled down the aisle with her swirly Italian boo Marco Perego, she’s been too preoccupied to care about keeping her slimmy trimmy body in check. US Weekly reports: After secretly tying the knot last June, Zoe Saldana has made the most of this past year by enjoying the life of a newlywed. In the latest issue of Net-a-Porter, the 35-year-old actress says she’s been enjoying some time off to completely relax and indulge. “I’ve been an active person my whole life. The past year have been the only time in my life that I haven’t been to the gym,” Saldana, who still looks as stunning and slim as ever, claimed. “I’ve been lazy instead of training for something and pushing myself.” The Avatar star says her usual workout routines weren’t just to maintain a certain weight. “Not because I am trying to be skinny. I just like to know how much endurance I have,” she explained. “But this past year I’ve let myself go. I’ve been eating a lot of Chinese, pasta, rice, beans . . .” Glad to hear she’s enjoying the married life! But we certainly can’t see the effects of all those rice & beans on her lil body in these pics. Can you? Photos: Net-A-Porter

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Packing On The Pounds? Zoe Saldana Says She Has “Let Herself Go” After Swirly Secret Marriage To Italian Artist

Michelle Obama, Celebrity Moms Nag You to Sign Up For Health Insurance

Sick of your mom nagging you to register for health insurance before the March 31 deadline? Well, Michelle Obama and other celebrity moms are here to do it instead! The First Lady called upon the mothers of Jennifer Lopez, Alicia Keys, Jonah Hill and Adam Levine to remind people of the Obamacare registration deadline. Your Mom Cares About Health Insurance! Fun trivia from the “I Luh Ya PaPi” video vixen’s mom, Guadalupe: “Jennifer walked at eight months. She was climbing out of her crib when she was a year old.” “At one point, I thought, ‘Maybe she should be a gymnast.'” And this from The Wolf of Wall Street star Jonah Hill’s mother, Sharon Feldstein: “Jonah was a prankster … Jonah flooded the elementary school.” The point? Moms put up with a lot of nonsense from their kids, which is inevitable, but being uninsured shouldn’t be one of the things they worry about. Subtle, it’s not. But it is cute to see these celebrity moms. “Seriously, do you want your mothers to have a nervous breakdown?” Feldstein urges the youths of America. “It’s imperative that you have health insurance.” Okay, okay, Sharon. We get it.

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Michelle Obama, Celebrity Moms Nag You to Sign Up For Health Insurance

Jimmy Kimmel Live Pranks Pompous Music Fans at SXSW

Ready to a new edition of Lie Witness News? For the second in a few months, Jimmy Kimmel Live has visited a music festival and exposed obnoxious music snobs at total and complete liars. In October, Kimmel pranked attendees at the Rock the Bells 2013 festival, asking fans for their opinions on made up artists and bands. And now he’s done it again, this time sending a reporter to SXSW in Austin and asking for peopl’s takes on such stars as Contact Dermatitis, Neil Patrick Harassment and female rappers Heavy Flow. Watch now to see people answer as if they know all about these fictitious individuals: Jimmy Kimmel Live at SXSW: Lie Witness News Jimmy Kimmel Live has been making us crack up for months. Here are a handful of our favorite recent bits: 16 Jimmy Kimmel Live Moments That Crack Our Funny Bone Open Slideshow 1. Jimmy Kimmel Live to Pedestrians: FDR Died! Los Angeles residents are told by a Jimmy Kimmel Live reporter here that FDR just died. Watch them react accordingly. View As List 1. Jimmy Kimmel Live to Pedestrians: FDR Died! Los Angeles residents are told by a Jimmy Kimmel Live reporter here that FDR just died. Watch them react accordingly. 2. Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Justin Bieber Arrest, Tweets Jimmy Kimmel goes to town here on the Justin Bieber scandal. Watch him make fun of a few choices fan Tweets now. 3. Jimmy Kimmel Pranks John Krasinski and Emily Blunt Jimmy Kimmel pranks John Krasinski and Emily Blunt in this video. And it’s safe to say he gets them good. 4. Jimmy Kimmel China Skit The Chinese community is up in arms against Jimmy Kimmel over this “kill everyone in China” comment. 5. Jimmy Kimmel Halloween Candy Prank What an amazing prank. In this Jimmy Kimmel-inspired video, parents tell their kids that they ate all their Halloween candy. 6. Jimmy Kimmel Live – Lie Witness News (Rock the Bells 2013) Jimmy Kimmel Live takes its Lie Witness News segment to Rock the Bells 2013. Watch! 7. Jimmy Kimmel – Obamacare vs. Affordable Care Act Obamacare is just a nickname for The Affordable Care Act. But Jimmy Kimmel found that people react differently depending on what it’s called. 8. Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Kanye West Interview Jimmy Kimmel mocks an interview Kanye West gave to the BBC in this video. The rapper was none too pleased over it. 9. Jimmy Kimmel Reveals Twerking Fail Prank! Jimmy Kimmel has revealed that the Twerking fail video was a cleverly orchestrated fake. Well, well played. 10. Johnny Depp Kisses Jimmy Kimmel Johnny Depp plants a few kisses on Jimmy Kimmel during this talk show appearance. Hot stuff! 11. Jimmy Kimmel ‘Lie Witness News’ at Coachella Jimmy Kimmel and his Lie Witness News team hit up Coachella 2013. 12. Escape From Gosselin Island Jimmy Kimmel parodies Kate Gosselin’s new reality show with a fun teaser for Escape From Gosselin Island. About sums it up right there. 13. Jimmy Kimmel – Lie Detective Jimmy Kimmel decides to play Lie Detectives and entrap a bunch of (very young) student athletes. It’s hilarious and wrong. 14. Jimmy Kimmel Shows People Octomom Photos Jimmy Kimmel showed a bunch of people on the street photos of Octomom’s porn shoot. Their reactions are hilarious … for us. 15. Jimmy Kimmel Parodies True Detective Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Rogen make their case her to star in True Detective Season 2. They have our vote! 16. Jimmy Kimmel Live at SXSW: Lie Witness News Jimmy Kimmel Live visits SXSW in this hilarious edition of Lie Witness News. Watch him prank annoying music fans now.

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Jimmy Kimmel Live Pranks Pompous Music Fans at SXSW

Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Rogen Parody True Detective, Should Totally Star in Season 2

Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson? They are so yesterday’s news. These two actors and real-life friends received an abundance of well-deserved accolades for their performances on True Detective Season 1. But the opening eight episodes of this HBO drama wrapped on Sunday and now we’re looking ahead. Who should anchor True Detective Season 2 ? Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Rogen, of course! The stars made their case in a hilarious spoof last night, driving around, crushing cans of beer and singing Cher lyrics. Watch the skit now and come on… don’t pretend you wouldn’t watch True Detective Season 2 with this pair at the center of it: Jimmy Kimmel Parodies True Detective Where does this rank among all-time Jimmy Kimmel Live sketches? You tell us! 15 Jimmy Kimmel Live Moments That Crack Our Funny Bone Open Slideshow 1. Jimmy Kimmel Live to Pedestrians: FDR Died! Los Angeles residents are told by a Jimmy Kimmel Live reporter here that FDR just died. Watch them react accordingly. View As List 1. Jimmy Kimmel Live to Pedestrians: FDR Died! Los Angeles residents are told by a Jimmy Kimmel Live reporter here that FDR just died. Watch them react accordingly. 2. Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Justin Bieber Arrest, Tweets Jimmy Kimmel goes to town here on the Justin Bieber scandal. Watch him make fun of a few choices fan Tweets now. 3. Jimmy Kimmel Pranks John Krasinski and Emily Blunt Jimmy Kimmel pranks John Krasinski and Emily Blunt in this video. And it’s safe to say he gets them good. 4. Jimmy Kimmel China Skit The Chinese community is up in arms against Jimmy Kimmel over this “kill everyone in China” comment. 5. Jimmy Kimmel Halloween Candy Prank What an amazing prank. In this Jimmy Kimmel-inspired video, parents tell their kids that they ate all their Halloween candy. 6. Jimmy Kimmel Live – Lie Witness News (Rock the Bells 2013) Jimmy Kimmel Live takes its Lie Witness News segment to Rock the Bells 2013. Watch! 7. Jimmy Kimmel – Obamacare vs. Affordable Care Act Obamacare is just a nickname for The Affordable Care Act. But Jimmy Kimmel found that people react differently depending on what it’s called. 8. Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Kanye West Interview Jimmy Kimmel mocks an interview Kanye West gave to the BBC in this video. The rapper was none too pleased over it. 9. Jimmy Kimmel Reveals Twerking Fail Prank! Jimmy Kimmel has revealed that the Twerking fail video was a cleverly orchestrated fake. Well, well played. 10. Johnny Depp Kisses Jimmy Kimmel Johnny Depp plants a few kisses on Jimmy Kimmel during this talk show appearance. Hot stuff! 11. Jimmy Kimmel ‘Lie Witness News’ at Coachella Jimmy Kimmel and his Lie Witness News team hit up Coachella 2013. 12. Escape From Gosselin Island Jimmy Kimmel parodies Kate Gosselin’s new reality show with a fun teaser for Escape From Gosselin Island. About sums it up right there. 13. Jimmy Kimmel – Lie Detective Jimmy Kimmel decides to play Lie Detectives and entrap a bunch of (very young) student athletes. It’s hilarious and wrong. 14. Jimmy Kimmel Shows People Octomom Photos Jimmy Kimmel showed a bunch of people on the street photos of Octomom’s porn shoot. Their reactions are hilarious … for us. 15. Jimmy Kimmel Parodies True Detective Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Rogen make their case her to star in True Detective Season 2. They have our vote!

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Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Rogen Parody True Detective, Should Totally Star in Season 2

Phone Sex Babe of the Day

Her name is ALEX and I had a conversation with her last night when I got back from being cock teased by strippers…who took our money, rode our dicks, put their tits in our mouths and showed us their buttonholes, but refused to come back to the hotel with us…because that’s what strippers do…at least modern strippers who don’t get that strip tease, isn’t about cocktease and stealing money, but about fucking fantasy.. Anyway, here I was at 3 in the morning, drunk, and covered in Chinese food, forced to make a choice….hooker, rub and tug or phonesex… I chose phone sex…because I figure jerking off in the bathroom while my wife is snoring to a girl who lets me listen to her vagina wetness while telling me to do bad things to her…is the option with the least change of giving my wife an STD, or being called out for cheating…again.. I am also a bit of a phone sex fetishist, because I think the fantasy is way more appealing than actually the smell of sex I would pay for.. Either way, Alex was good, I am in love, and we’re going to be forever friends… Here are the 2 pics of her… TO SEE MORE OF ALEX CLICK HERE

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Phone Sex Babe of the Day

TukTuk Stunts and Other Videos of the Day

Here are a couple of international videos that will either make you happy you’re an ignorant white person from middle America….or depressed that you are an ignorant white person from middle america…not rocking out watching these things go down because you are too busy trying to pay off credit card debt… Fight on a Chinese Plane

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TukTuk Stunts and Other Videos of the Day

Nicki Minaj Does the Rihanna on Instagram of the DAy

Nicki Minaj and all her thickness may be a total fucking marketing scam / publicity generating stunt of an “artist” who they found in acting school and packaged…you know as hip hop as Drake…or Miley…who they just packaged and threw into the mix…put a lot of money behind because investing in actual street kids is risky… Well, it seems she’s seeking some level of authenticity, doing the Rihanna, posting slutty pics and I’m into it…

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Nicki Minaj Does the Rihanna on Instagram of the DAy

Angry Chinese Woman Mooning of the Day

There’s something glorious about seeing an ancient Chinese proverb in action…when your neighbor films…drop your pants and moon him…even if you’re 1000 years old…it’s the buddhist way…would you like some egg roll with that? I would.

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Angry Chinese Woman Mooning of the Day

Little Girl Playing with her Cat of the Day

Some woman posted this video of her niece playing with a cat on Youtube or Facebook…and shit went viral because I guess people LOVE seeing little girls playing with cats…I wish I had the source on this…because even as someone who hates cats…this is fucking evil…worse than what Chinese Restaurants do to cats…

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Little Girl Playing with her Cat of the Day

Making It Rain on Them Hoes: Big Sean Gifts Boo Thang Naya Rivera Some Holiday Bling

Big Sean Gives Fiancee Naya Rivera Some Holiday Bling Must be nice. Naya wished her fans Merry Christmas and showed off her new bling via Instagram. Sean since you’ve taken care of the bills and bought the holiday bling already…can we hold a stack? Instagram/WENN

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Making It Rain on Them Hoes: Big Sean Gifts Boo Thang Naya Rivera Some Holiday Bling