Tag Archives: chloe-grace

Taylor Swift for Vogue of the Day

I was talking about Taylor Swift the other day, I was telling someone that the site traffic is dying hard because no one cares about what I have to say, everyone is on social media, the blog format is dead, I didn’t adapt because I’m traditional, and I should have probably created more of a media company I could sell for 40 million dollars, instead of one worth 5 dollars. It would probably be the same amount of work. They told me that I need to break a story, and I told them that I have broken stories over the years and no one cares, even this month I’ve been told Taylor Swift is 2-3 months pregnant and not telling anyone…and when it does get announced no one will credit me for breaking the story…perpetuating my life as a loser… I realize that not everyone wins like Taylor Swift has with her genius marketed music to the masses, that isn’t even good but that doesn’t need to be good…focus on a fake broken heart because we all know rich vapid cunts don’t have hearts they just have the ability to spin stories to their benefit… At the same time, Taylor Swift really wants to be a model…so much so that she hangs out with them, she works out with them, she’s got skinny legs and is tall like them, but just can hack it as a model…walking Victoria’s Secret runway like she craves….even though being a model doesn’t require much more talent than being a big enough asshole to make poses and model faces for a camera…or on the runway…which I guess she still gets to do, case in point, these VOGUE pics…but she’s got this billion dollar music career that she will never break free from so that her modeling work gets any stamp of approval…she’ll always be a popstar posing, which is nice to know bitches like this don’t get everything they want while sitting on their pile of money…because they’ve already fucking won at life… Either way, possibly pregnant unless she miscarried, trying to model because she’s tall and skinny and hangs with models, source of music that makes me want to kill myself…in Vogue…for Mert & Marcus. The highlight along with her being as slutty as Taylor Swift gets is that her shoes remind me of this skinny bitch doing a drunken, drugged walk of shame at 7 am outside my house today. She was a stumbling gift from god that I didn’t have time to offer to save…with my mouth…yes Taylor Swift in Vogue is about me. The post Taylor Swift for Vogue of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Taylor Swift for Vogue of the Day

Chloe Grace Moretz Underdeveloped Tits of the Day

I used to sext a girl who wanted to get breast implants because her tits stopped developing when she was 12, apparently it’s called “TUBULAR” Breasts or something, it’s a thing…. I was still more than happy to stare at her tits in videos of her inserting things in her ass….she was 20…I was in my 40s…I mean…how could I hate that gold… I love tits of all sizes, and levels of developed, so long as the host body is 18 years and older…I just don’t really think its all that hot…and I would generally focus on other body parts….like HER OVER DEVELOPED AND HUNGRY VAGINA … So if I was the parents of Chloe Grace Moretz trying to whore her, I’d probably get her breast implants as a surprise, telling her we were going to Disneyland or some shit, only to pull up at the doctor’s office where they quickly put her under….you know like Lohan’s parents who whored her out… But the reality is her fans are actually mad she’s 18, they wanted her 14 and in Spandex so these tits are actually a tribute to that…retain that pervert predator fanbase…they probably even took hormones to make this weirdness happen… What it comes down to is that all tits are tits. The post Chloe Grace Moretz Underdeveloped Tits of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Chloe Grace Moretz Underdeveloped Tits of the Day

Chloe Grace Moretz Does Complex

I’m not entirely convinced that Chloe Grace Moretz is a great actress just yet (watch the video below and try to tell me I’m wrong). But after checking out this photoshoot she did for Complex , I can definitely say she’s got a very promising future as a model. All she needs is a photographer who knows how to bring out the best in her, and by that I mean, her birthday suit. Luckily, my phone takes great pictures. Call me!

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Chloe Grace Moretz Does Complex

Chloe Grace Moretz Goes Black and May One Day Go Back…TBD…of the Day

Chloe Grace Moretz is fucking Chance the Rapper. They went to a Miguel concert, so ethnic, and apparently that means the 18 year old is taking a big black dick, and who the fuck cares, we’re in a Black Lives Matter era where people shit on White Privilege, meaning if she were to not fuck a black guy, that’d be racist in and of itself… There was a time when black guys, no matter how rich they were, were forced to fuck the fat white girls that the white guys didn’t want, and obviously the edgy, exciting, daring women who were into black dudes, like Heidi Klum… There was a time that guys who are around 40 years old would dump their girlfriends if they found out they banged a black guy, they just couldn’t get over it, because white privelege..But now, hip hop is mainstream, black people aren’t slaves and have become top tier producers, citizens, etc…despite what you racists want to think… The truth is, I’ve never been offended by white girls banging black guys, I’ve seen it go from fantasy to mainstream over the last 30 years and I’ve found it funny…you know seeing these white girls pissing off their dad’s for bigger dick and athletic sex…but I’m not a white racist…who obsesses over 18 year old barely interesting comic book characters in movies….and that’s why I am loving this story… When the white girl gets a black boyfriend, her weirdo fans freak the fuck out. It happened to JOJO but are we passed that…I mean if you base things on the Oscars, obviously not..but if you base it on everything else in popculture…then probably are… Either way, I just think her getting railed by a huge dick whatever color it is is hilarious..it’s just representative of all girls…of all ages…wanting big dicks..to fill them hoping to fill their empty souls… She’s 18 and leaving nightclubs, because when you’re famous, the drinking age is whenever you want. In some cases, murdering is accepted too… The post Chloe Grace Moretz Goes Black and May One Day Go Back…TBD…of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Chloe Grace Moretz Goes Black and May One Day Go Back…TBD…of the Day

Chloe Grace Moretz’s Leg Show Is An Improvement

Whoever Chloe Grace Moretz ‘s team is, I’ve got to give them credit. They do a good job of tipping off the paps anytime Chloe’s going somewhere. And best of all, it looks like someone’s actually started listening to me about getting Chloe a better wardrobe . Because no, it’s not the bodypaint dress I’ve been hoping for, but at least this leg show is a good start. Photos: WENN.com Continue reading

Chloe Grace Moretz Needs Me As Her Stylist!

I’m still waiting for Chloe Grace Moretz to take me up on my generous offer to help teach her how to dress, and until she does, I guess we’re just going have to make do with half-assed leg shows like this. And who knows, maybe Chloe just doesn’t have enough money to buy a whole new wardrobe at the moment. So here’s a helpful tip for any hotties on a budget: turn all your pants into booty shorts and cut funbag-sized holes in your shirts. That one’s on the house, Chloe. Photos: WENN.com

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Chloe Grace Moretz Needs Me As Her Stylist!

Chloe Grace Moretz In The Most Non-sexy Outfit Ever!

Listen, I get that  Chloe Grace Moretz is trying to be America’s newest sweetheart young hottie. That’s why she’s doing Marie Claire and photoshoots in fashion magazines and going on Jimmy Kimmel Live like she is in these shots, and for the most part it’s working. But if Chloe really wants to take her career to the next level, someone’s got to help teach her how to dress. Because outfits like this just aren’t going to cut it against Selena Gomez’s cleavage and Bella Thorne’s booty videos . Luckily, I have a few good ideas (mostly involving see-through shirts and walking around in lingerie). Call me! Photos: WENN.com Continue reading

Chloe Grace Moretz Needs Me To Teach Her How To Dress

I was half-joking yesterday when I said that Chloe Grace Moretz needed help learning how to dress if she ever wanted to live up to her hottie potential, but after seeing what she wore to a special fan screening of her new movie The 5th Wave , I’m convinced she needs my help ASAP. Girl needs to up her game. Luckily though, it shouldn’t be too hard, Chloe just needs to take a cue from the world’s best-dressed nobody Micaela Schaefer and start wearing body paint and/or lingerie everywhere. I’m telling you, it works every time. Well, for me and my readers, at least. » view all 12 photos Photos: WENN.com Continue reading

Chloe Grace Moretz Is A Little Model

I always knew that Chloe Grace Moretz was a promising, up-and-coming actress (and I’m seriously looking forward to her next movie ), but I didn’t know she was also an aspiring model until I saw this photoshoot. And don’t get me wrong, Chloe’s definitely got the talent to do it, but if she really wants to get serious about this thing, she needs to start working with photographers who understand that she looks better the more skin she shows, not the more clothes she puts on. Luckily, my phone takes great pictures. Continue reading

Bar Refaeli Throwback Thursday Ass of the Day

Bar Refaeli is married now, so I assume that this is either a recent picture of her announcing at the pool party that she’s married…increasing her stock price, because people fucking love hot married chicks, it’s like they are unattainable, even though every married chick I know…is a fucking cheater, looking to feel hot, looking for scandal, passion and romance…even when they have kids…with total disregard for their husband who is at work…because thanks to the internet…all these motherfuckers are unloyal, self involved, assholes, looking to get fucked… I’m going to assume that it is from her bachelorette party, where she is celebrating her marriage, even though she’s been known as a cocaine loving, model, party slut for the last decade of her life…staying up all night in Tel Aviv…raging…all while Palestinians are being killed trying to reclaim their land…because she’s just that kind of girl… And what it comes down to is what a great fucking ass, the kind you can google and see the asshole of…but I’d suggest aiming for her pussy, because Jewish kids have it better, will be more successful, than non Jewish kids, so if you get any girl knocked up, make it a jewish one…not that that has anything to do with Bar Refaeli, she only likes billionaires and A-Listers…which you aren’t… The post Bar Refaeli Throwback Thursday Ass of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Bar Refaeli Throwback Thursday Ass of the Day