Halloween is over, so it’s almost Christmas, am I allowed to say that it’s Christmas, in this era of distress, where Starbucks gets slandered by the non-Christians who feel oppressed by the Christian world they live in and shouldn’t be exposed to…. You or someone you know is probably a what I call a Virgin loser, but what you probably called a Star Wars fan…which is probably 99 percent of you, as Star Wars is the most anticipated, highly marketed, overrated bullshit to ever exist…but it made George Lucas a billionaire, so I guess it can’t be that bad…right? So with the help of my friends at TheGadgetFLow Here are the Top 10 Star Wars gifts according to me…yes I hand picked every last one of these fuckers….even though I hate Star Wars and think it is all that is wrong in the world…but I guess I’ve had sex with girls before…so I can’t relate… Some of these gift ideas are pretty good though… 1- the Star Wars Millenium Falcon Drone 2- Star Wars Droid 3- Light Sabre Chopsticks 4-
I hate these Wax figures, I find them insanely creepy, but figure since you probably have sex with plastic figures that resemble the girls from your favorite sci-fi fantasy movies, who you’ve already set up fake marriages with, and who you have morning coffee with, this dead stare probably drives you fucking crazy. I mean it is the only human interaction you’ve ever had, or the closest thing you’ve had…and your dream is to one day craft something like this, cuz you have loved her and known that Emma Watson was your soul mate since she was 12…and this model of her, like your model of the Death Star, may be as close as you can get to that love, which to you is better than nothing. You virgin loser freak. So I’m posting it, cuz I like to humor you. I’m a good guy like that – and this is creepy as fuck. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
I hate these Wax figures, I find them insanely creepy, but figure since you probably have sex with plastic figures that resemble the girls from your favorite sci-fi fantasy movies, who you’ve already set up fake marriages with, and who you have morning coffee with, this dead stare probably drives you fucking crazy. I mean it is the only human interaction you’ve ever had, or the closest thing you’ve had…and your dream is to one day craft something like this, cuz you have loved her and known that Emma Watson was your soul mate since she was 12…and this model of her, like your model of the Death Star, may be as close as you can get to that love, which to you is better than nothing. You virgin loser freak. So I’m posting it, cuz I like to humor you. I’m a good guy like that – and this is creepy as fuck. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
The Death Star, undoubtedly a worthwhile undertaking but not on the Obama administration’s radar, is now on Kickstarter if you want to help build one. A recent White House Death Star petition was denied, citing Obama’s “we don’t blow up planets” political stance and the potential fiscal nightmare. Now, a new Kickstarter project wants to pick up those plans, using an open source design effort and trying to raise funding to help make it happen. A LOT of funding. The project has a $30,000,000 funding goal, which would be used to create “more detailed plans” than the initial design the team currently has . Yes … 30 million just to design the thing. No one said it would be easy, or that the potential defense system is without flaws. As we know, a single X-Wing fighter can basically defeat the thing. If the Kickstarter project reaches its long-term goal – $850,000,000,000,000,000 – plans will actually be put to use building a full-scale, working Death Star. They hope to have the project up and running by December 2015. No word on whether it would be used to protect the whole world or just the U.S. Something for sexy beast Kim Jong Un to ponder before his next failed missile test or scary / cheaply produced anti-American North Korea video .
The Obama Administration issued a response to an online petition asking the White House to commission an intergalactic Death Star a la Star Wars . Sadly, it rejected the request. Guess The Force was not strong enough with this petition . Claiming it would cost an estimated $850,000,000,000,000,000 and that “the administration does not support blowing up planets,” Obama nixed the idea. The White House was forced to offer an official response, since the petition garnered the requisite 25,000 signatures on the WeThePeople petitioning system. As we’ve discussed in the past, this online petitioning process is either one of Team Obama’s greatest achievements or an idea they will forever regret. All depends on your point of view, right? Other memorable efforts we’ve seen in the past two or three months alone: A request to deport Piers Morgan of CNN A demand for a Joe Biden reality show A large-scale Texas secession effort The Death Star petition may take the cake, despite that stiff competition. After the administration’s delayed response to the petition was criticized online, the good folks in the executive branch finally replied, titling their answer: “This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For.” “The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon,” the WH Chief of Science wrote In addition to a reasonable aversion for mass genocide, officials worried that the system has a well-known vulnerability – as proven in Star Wars: Episodes IV and VI . “Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?” the WH asked. Hard to refute that. For the impressively long and unabridged response to this attempt at direct democracy, follow the link for the full White House reply .
We the People of the United States…are some weird dudes. A clever but clearly tongue-in-cheek petition to build a Star Wars -style Death Star isn’t the only petition that’s been started on the Obama administration’s much-debated We The People website. That’s the place where ordinary citizens can log in and lobby for change. When a petition registered on the site gets 25,000 signatures, the administration issues an official response to it, which, you might guess, means that there are quite a few wackadoo proposals on the site. In addition to the Death Star proposal, which needs more than 21,000 signatures before its Dec. 14 deadline, there is also a petition started by “Sean M” of San Francisco that seeks to establish a “new legal system of motorcycle riding ‘Judges’ who serve as police, judge, jury, and executioner all in one.” If you saw Dredd 3D or are a fan of Judge Dredd comics, you’ll get the reference. If you’re like me, you’ll also start thinking of Karl Urban riding in formation with leather-clad Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia and Ruth Bader Ginsburg who also know how to scowl effectively. And for you gamer fans, nathan p of Columbus, Ohio has petitioned the administration to build a statue of Halo hero Master Chief on the White House lawn, noting: “He deserves more praise for what he has done.” Compared to those last two petitions, the Death Star proposal at least has some satirical bite, nothing that its construction will “spur job creation…and strengthen our national defense.” It could also boost Disney’s stock. It will be interesting to see if any of these petitions makes their 25,000-signature deadlines, which all fall at the end of next week. As of this posting, the Master Chief statute proposal is in the lead with more than 4,700 signatures, and Halo fans are a passionate breed. This could get interesting. Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
I spent 2010 overdosing on late night television, obsessively cataloging network fat jokes (everyone goes through that phase, right?), toiling in a love/hate relationship with Grey’s Anatomy , Glee basing and interviewing entertainment figures who shifted American pop culture for good (Jimmy Fallon) and evil (Pauly Shore). As one of my final Movieline duties this calendar year, I will now revisit the 10 stories that brought a smile to my face and I hope, entertained or informed you.
So, what’s the only thing that could make those Star Wars pies even more delicious? How about a little Star Wars weed to whet your appetite? Yes, of course that exists! A medical marijuana dispensary called the San Diego Organic Wellness Association has developed a “Skywalker” (get it?) OG strain of marijuana, which apparently has a “piny, skunky smell” and will not make you fall asleep immediately. For more details, I’ll let Brittany take it away in the video review below. For more hardcore geeks, the SDOWA also offers a “Death Star” strain. I kid you not.
The Cassini space probe flew by Saturn and took photos of its moon, Mimas. Due to its 88 mile wide crater, Mimas bears a striking resemblance to the Death Star, presumably poised near Saturn in order to blow it up. The Best Links: Via The Sun View
