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The Bachelorette Recap: It’s the Climb

The Bachelorette ran it back with another partially-contrived, unintentionally hilarious, uber-dramatic episode tonight on Memorial Day. And what an episode. Okay, it was pretty run-of-the-mill. But between some vintage Bachelorette cliches, a romantic date with Arie Luyendyk, Jr. , and some man tears, it had its moments. After two weeks of first impressions – some good, some not – the remaining men took another shot tonight, and man oh man, things started to get REAL. Real dumb. Follow this link for a rundown of The Bachelorette spoilers we know now, including the (alleged) final three. Then read on for THG’s +/- Bachelorette recap! After three weeks, it’s still cute that Emily’s a mom. Plus 8 , and Plus 4 more for the prospect of her looking as good as her mom does in her 40s. Chris and his serial killer eyes get the first one-on-one. Minus 5 for ABC not casting him as the villain this season. Kalon’s looks aren’t as terrifying. He’s even wearing the Dexter shirt! Plus 4 . Minus 70 for the obligatory, recycled building-climbing date and corresponding metaphors. It is not like love, life or relationships. Please, just spare us. Plus 7 for Chris saying she looks good in a harness though. You could see the wheels turning and Fifty Shades of Grey -esque images in his head. Emily tells Chris he’s cute. A LOT. Minus 2 . Chris actually is pretty mature for 25. Plus 14 , because he still doesn’t seem like stepfather material right now, but maybe he could get there. John sees Emily holding a football and is hoping for … a relaxed, chill day. Surrounded by a dozen testosterone-filled dudes. So chill. Plus 1 . Em tells her friends to put “y’alls detective skills to work.” Plus 9 for the accent. Minus 8 for one friend saying “here for the right reasons.” Wait … the guy with the egg is still on the show? Minus 5 . Wait, Stevie is still on the show? Minus 9 . One of Emily’s friends dubs Sean “the genetic gift to the world.” Plus 10 , as that’s kind of totally true AND when he talks, his stock rises! Ryan tells Emily he’d still love her if she got fat, he just might love ON her as much. Yeah. Quite the statement. Minus 16 , even in jest. We thought Jef with one F actually was one of the kids at the park. Plus 5 . Sean and Doug are dominating this group date, both with friend time and Emily time. Plus 11 . Everyone else is playing for third right now. Kalon McMahon is so that name-dropping, ass-kissing, pompous douche at the high school reunion who everyone dreads seeing. Minus 7 . Tony contemplates leaving and talks to his little boy in a touching segment. One clearly drawn out to eat up time in a two-hour episode that really could be condensed to 90 minutes or even 60, but nevertheless. Cute. Plus 5 . Emily and Tony break up so he can go home. Both seem content with the decision. If only all reality TV splits were so amicable. Plus 8 . Arie gets the one-on-one date and jets off to Dollywood. Emily could not be more excited … about Dolly, and maybe Arie too. Plus 5 . Wouldn’t you know it, Dolly Parton herself is there to provide a private concert! And some love advice. Who’d have guessed? Minus 3 . Dolly’s been married 45 years? WOW. Plus 45 . Arie’s probably texted that many girls in the time he’s been on the show. Player. Minus 5 if he’s truly Mr. There For the Wrong Reasons . Having dated (and lived with) a woman with two kids is only helping his cause, though. He’s Mr. Saying All the Right Things. Plus 6 . Plus 10 for Emily being so up front, all the time. Well, except when she’s trying to punk Arie, but points for that half-hearted effort. She’s cute. She’s not even funny but she’s cute. And honest. And self-secure, yet vulnerable. Kinda the whole package. Plus 15 . Think he’s as genuine as she is? That’s the open question. Wash . Whoa, first quasi-makeout of the season! Plus 10 . The already-awkward cocktail party time becomes three times more so after seeing Kalon’s glasses. What a schmoozer. Minus 10 . Is he essentially implying he considers Ricki a compromise of shorts? Minus 15 … and Minus 15 more for the condescending remark after. Then Alessandro actually calls it a compromise. No rose for you. Minus 20 . Did he not know who The Bachelorette was this season? Aww. Arie is there to pick up the pieces and make out with her again. So suave, and so well coached by the producers. Plus 4 . Sean is really giving him a run for his money, though. The kind words about Ricki make this guy the anti-Alessandro. Plus 13 . Kissing session #2! In one night! Plus 5 . Chris Harrison sighting! Plus 3 . Plus 18 more for Ryan calling Arie a “dainty” man and for the outtakes in which Alessandro admits he dated his cousin. No longer in the running after tonight: Tony (set free) Alessandro (booted) Stevie (not given rose) Shelly the egg (shattered) EPISODE TOTAL: +40. SEASON TOTAL: -105.

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The Bachelorette Recap: It’s the Climb

Justin Bieber Accused of Battery Against Paparazzi Member

Justin Bieber has been accused of battery against a celebrity gossip photographer. But questions have already risen over the legitimacy of this allegation. Here is what the paparazzi member claims in a police report : he tried to take Justin’s picture around noon yesterday outside a mall in Calabasas called The Commons. Bieber, who was accompanied by Selena Gomez , reacted in anger, some kind of physical confrontation took place and the photographer was taken to the hospital after complaining of upper torso pain. Here is what actually went down according to witnesses who spoke to TMZ : The photographer was blocking Bieber’s car ; the singer asked him to move; and a scuffle did ensue when the “journalist” refused to do so. But an attorney then approached the photographer and explained how he could get a lot of money if he called and ambulance and pressed charges. No word yet from anyone in Justin’s camp, while authorities are hoping to speak to Bieber and Gomez some time this week.

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Justin Bieber Accused of Battery Against Paparazzi Member

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore to Get Back Together?!?

No. Effin. Way. Right?!? According to a new report, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore may get back together, following a birthday party scene in which the actor grew very emotional and the former couple shared a few intimate moments. It all took place at a celebration in honor of the man who officiated Kutcher and Moore’s wedding over six years ago. Witnesses tell The Daily Mirror that the two were locked in a minute-long embrace at one point, with Kutcher making a tearful speech that included the words: “I’ve made all these horrendous mistakes in the last year.” Ashton reportedly received applause when he was finished, while a source says Demi looked “frozen” in response. “They are still desperately in love and could be on for a reconciliation,” an insider tells the newspaper. “The divorce isn’t being processed right now.” Another hint that hope actually remains for Ashton and Demi? The latter – who recently updated her Twitter handle to reflect her single status – Favorited a Tweet by Wiz Khalifa that reads: “We all make mistakes. Don’t let that be the reason you give up on somebody.” Should Demi and Ashton get back together?

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Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore to Get Back Together?!?

Kalon McMahon: The Bachelorette Villain Ready to Flake Out Over Emily Maynard’s Daughter?

The Bachelorette star Emily Maynard ‘s #1 priority is her 6-year-old daughter, Ricki. Kalon McMahon, a.k.a. the “villain” that ABC really wants you to hate (and a bunch of the guys probably do) this season, apparently feels otherwise. On tonight’s episode, he makes his feelings about fatherhood known. “I always had believed that my first child would be one of my own, so obviously embracing you and Ricki as a part of my life … it’s not the way I wrote it up in my journal as a kid,” he boldly admits to the Charlotte, N.C. single mom. Taken aback, Maynard asks the helicopter-riding douche to think of his own mother, who raised him as a single parent, but Kalon immediately cuts her off. “I love it when you talk, but I wish you’d let me finish,” he snaps. That comment will put Maynard even more on edge. “I love tall, skinny and funny, but I don’t love tall, skinny and condescending!” she snaps at him. Ouch. Another hopeful, Alessandro, reportedly tells her something similar tonight: “I don’t have a lot of experience with kids. You’ve got to teach me.” Not surprisingly, this doesn’t go over well with Em: “You see that as a compromise, not an honor? My daughter isn’t a compromise … anybody I spend the rest of my life with is going to see that as the biggest bonus ever.” Bam. Will either or both of these guys get roses tonight? Who will make it to the end this season? Follow this link for The Bachelorette spoilers we know so far.

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Kalon McMahon: The Bachelorette Villain Ready to Flake Out Over Emily Maynard’s Daughter?

Joe Gendreau on The Bachelorette Elimination: Just Too Different From Emily

Joe Gendreau’s time to impress Emily Maynard expired this week. Reflecting on the non-love connection that earned him a rare one-on-one date boot on The Bachelorette Monday, he said it just didn’t work out. Nothing scandalous or incendiary about it. Just didn’t click. “I tried to keep the rose out of mind. I didn’t want to look at it as a challenge and be like, ‘I really want that rose,'” Gendreau said. “I wanted to see how my time was with her and entertain the idea of being able to hit it off with her.” “I thought it was going well, but ultimately didn’t work out. We really didn’t hit it off with each other. We are in different places in our lives.” “I’m a single, free-spirited individual. Emily, she is looking for someone more settled and committed to family and work.” To that effect, Joe’s “five-year-plan” seemed to be his undoing. “I said, ‘I want to be happy with no regrets’ in five years … I think she was more looking for more detail like, ‘I want to be here with these many kids.'” “I didn’t take offense. She’s determined in what she wants and she didn’t see that in me. I answered truthfully. That’s me being myself.” “I was not closed-minded about it. I want to have kids and marriage in my life one day, [but] I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.” “Whether she made the right decision is on her. After she made her mind up, I was content to move on. I was really happy with everything.” “We just didn’t click. She was very sweet, and I wish her the best.” As for who he thinks Emily Maynard’s ends up with in the end? “My money’s on Jef. He seems like a great guy, a caring individual, and he’s got some money. I’m sure that’s going to put me in a doghouse,” he said. “Arie and Sean will stick around too. And maybe Doug, the guy who got the first impression rose. They’re solid good guys, good character.” Sounds like someone’s been reading The Bachelorette spoilers … or watching the first two episodes on TV. That’s all we’ll say for now.

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Joe Gendreau on The Bachelorette Elimination: Just Too Different From Emily

Emily Maynard: Sort of Dissed By Brad Womack!

The Bachelorette star Emily Maynard was apparently just dissed by her former fiance, Brad Womack, in a recent interview he gave. What did the guy say? Asked about the 26-year-old single mother by his hometown ABC station, Brad allegedly said : “I think I dodged a bullet with that relationship.” Yeah. If that’s true, really not cool Brad. Good thing Emily Maynard has a whole new group of guys to choose from on the new season of The Bachelorette, since Brad clearly wasn’t The One. Who will she choose now that she’s the one doling out the roses for the ABC reality franchise, which airs tonight? That’s yet to be determined. The Bachelorette spoilers we’ve read and posted so far hint at some of the serious contenders, however, so check out that page if you’re curious!

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Emily Maynard: Sort of Dissed By Brad Womack!

Rohan Marley, Lauryn Hill’s Ex, Engaged to Isabeli Fontana!

Rohan Marley, the son of reggae legend Bob Marley and ex of Lauryn Hill, has gotten engaged to Brazilian Sports Illustrated model Isabeli Fontana. Fontana said the couple plans to wed in Ethiopia, where the Rastafarian movement was founded. According to Contact Music, she told Veja magazine: “Rohan told me we have to return to the roots so the marriage will last forever.” Fontana, 28, has been divorced twice, to model Alvaro Jacomossi and actor/model Henri Castelli. The model has a son from each of those marriages. Marley, 39, dated former Fugees singer Lauryn Hill, 36, from 1996-2011. Hill often referred to him as her husband, though their relationship status was never revealed until they broke up. The couple had five children together. He also has two children from his previous relationship with Geraldine Khawly, who he married during college and was still married to when he met Hill. He made headlines last year when it was reported that Marley left Hill for Fontana while Hill was pregnant with another child , allegedly to another man. “Contrary to the numerous reports, Mr. Marley did not abandon me while pregnant with his child. We have had long periods of separation over the years but our 5 children together remain a joy to both of us,” Hill said, refuting that rumor. Congrats to Rohan and Isabeli!

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Rohan Marley, Lauryn Hill’s Ex, Engaged to Isabeli Fontana!

Should Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Star in 50 Shades of Grey?

Nina Dobrev hasn’t read Fifty Shades of Grey yet, but with her name floating around as a possible fit for the female lead, she might want to get on it! “All I’ve heard is that it’s very scandalous, to say the least,” the Vampire Diaries starlet told MTV. “I haven’t read it, but I’m intrigued … who knows?” “I mean, well, I guess we’ll have to see.” With co-star and real-life boyfriend Ian Somerhalder expressing interest in the role of Christian Grey, it’s no surprise Dobrev has been linked to Anastasia Steele. Working with Ian a second time isn’t as appealing to Nina as you night think, though. She said if she did play Anastasia, she’d prefer another guy . “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” she said of herself and Somerhalder both starring in the movie adaptation of EL James’ erotic love story trilogy. “I think it’s best for any of the actors on The Vampire Diaries to kind of do their own things … and create new characters … if it’s the same people, the fans will alway see me as Elena and they’ll see him as Damon if we do a film together.” “I think it would be better [if] either he should get it or I should get it, but I know that apparently he’s really great for the role, so I hope he gets it!” Another pair of famous vampires, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson , have been talked about at length as good fits, especially considering that James initially modeled the books after Edward and Bella from the Twilight saga. What do you think? Tell us who should play Christian and Anastasia in 50 Shades of Grey by voting in our dueling surveys below! Who should play Anastasia : Who should play Christian :

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Should Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Star in 50 Shades of Grey?

Emily Maynard on The Bachelorette: Protecting Ricki is Priority #1

Emily Maynard wouldn’t reveal if she gets engaged on The Bachelorette this season, though she says she “was happy before the show, but really happy now.” She also says the road to the final rose was secondary to protecting her little girl . On a conference call with reporters, she described how that influenced things: “If I was a single 26-year-old without a daughter, I’d be doing the same things the other Bachelorettes did. But Ricki is always at the forefront of my mind.” “I wouldn’t get in a hot tub on a first date in my everyday life so I sure as hell am not going to do it on [TV]. I like to keep Ricki sheltered to a point.” “She’s not at an age where she can even begin to understand the reason for the cameras. I told her it was for a very elaborate home video that she could watch way down the road. … Ricki’s life was not really affected at all.” “She was very protected throughout the entire process. She didn’t see the guys. I got to spend a lot of time with her, take her to school and do all my mom stuff.” As for how Emily Maynard finally came around to doing the show? “I had a million reservations and I said no to anybody who would listen. But time went on, we started talking again, and they were so accommodating that it was [too] great an opportunity to pass up,” the 26-year-old explained. “I had a great group of guys. I had the time of my life and learned so much about myself. It was the best experience getting to travel and to give Ricki the opportunity to see things she wouldn’t have otherwise.” The guys came in having an image of me in their head but as they got to know me better, they all said, [I was] nothing like they thought. It was a good thing.” “I’m feisty and sassy. It takes a little bit for me to really feel comfortable but I’ve never been called ‘boring’ in my normal everyday life.” As for which guys make it to the end? The Bachelorette spoilers we’ve compiled so far give you a fairly good idea of who the leading candidates are …

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Emily Maynard on The Bachelorette: Protecting Ricki is Priority #1

Emily Maynard on The Bachelorette Premiere: Thank Goodness For New Faces!

Emily Maynard is happy to be The Bachelorette, and even happier that the producers didn’t pull any major stunts with the casting. That we know of. Yet. The Bachelorette spoilers for this season are still trickling in, so who knows what surprises await the beautiful single mom from Charlotte, North Carolina. The season premiere last night was relatively drama-free and went off without a hitch, with the exception of a helicopter that had her fearing the worst. That being the return of Brad Womack … or Bentley Williams. Fortunately for Emily Maynard , the producers weren’t cruel enough to subject her to her ex-fiancee, or that jackass from Ashley’s season, as a stunt. Instead, she met 25 great guys, many of whom went all out to impress her. Who made the best first impressions with the former Bachelor winner? Some excerpts from Emily’s blog about the opener below: “First of all, I can’t even begin to say how grateful and blessed I feel to be The Bachelorette . It’s still hard for me to wrap my head around the idea.” “It was a big decision to come back. I was in love with Brad and what we had was very real and true, but when things didn’t work out with him, I was reminded that sometimes when people grow they grow apart.” “I can’t tell you how many times I said no, but I know God allows us to meet people at the right time and I just hope this is the right time for me.” “I put a lot of pressure on myself to make it work because I’ve been in this situation before and in a way feel as though I’ve already had my chance.” “It’s always scary meeting new people for the first time, especially like this! I wasn’t sure if I would like any of the guys or if any of the guys would like me, but so many of my fears were calmed after just the first limo.” “I definitely felt a connection with a few of the guys and it made me confident that my decision to come back was worth it. So many of the guys stood out to me. Even though he was the last to show up, I think I have to start by acknowledging Kalon.” “What an entrance! A million thoughts were going through my mind. I was extremely nervous it was Brad or possibly Bentley! I was relieved to see a fresh face.” “As extravagant as the helicopter was, Jef showing up on the skateboard was way more impressive in my mind! I immediately loved that he wasn’t trying to impress me with some over the top entrance.” “Anyone who knows me knows I have an extreme love for shoes, so Tony hit it out of the park with his glass slipper entrance.” “He did a great job making a memorable impression because as he walked away he made me realize how much I want the fairytale ending and how this time I really hope the glass slipper fits and I find my Prince Charming! “Last but not least, Doug. What a sweetheart! The letter his son wrote to me was one of the sweetest things I have ever received and if anyone can appreciate how hard it is being away from their child, it’s me.” “I’m so grateful that Doug took a chance on love, and I was honored that he saw something in me. It meant a lot and I wanted him to know that I would take a chance on him too and that’s why I gave him the first impression rose.”

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Emily Maynard on The Bachelorette Premiere: Thank Goodness For New Faces!