Tag Archives: figured-out-how

Selena Gomez Panty Selfie of the Day

HEre’s a weird pic of Selena Gomez, looking likg Kylie Jenner, because I guess the hormones in the food are making these under 25 year olds look like they have crazy waist to hip ratios, that I guess are caused by waist training harnesses, and/or FACETUNE app…we’re onto you..but not the way I’d want to be onto her…this leopard print panty shit is exciting, especially to the girl in the background taking pics of Selena as she takes pics of herself in this self-aware, selfie obsessed, document everything so we don’t need to use our brain to remember….but I’m far more interested in the friend’s vantage point, I mean who cares about this view…and I still haven’t figured out how this isn’t Kylie Jenner…I guess take the lead from what people seem to be into and ride it like the puppet you are… Next time, let’s aim for more crotch shot.. The post Selena Gomez Panty Selfie of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Selena Gomez Panty Selfie of the Day

Customers Evacuated From Target After This Plays Over The PA Speakers…

Customers Flee Target After Hearing Loud Porn Over Speakers Customers at a California Target were forced to cover their ears and leave the store after loud moans and grunts from a pornographic movie were mysteriously broadcast through the store’s speaker system. Via MailOnline : A group of shoppers at a Target store in California heard way more than they bargained for when the sound of porn played over the store’s PA system. The unsuspecting shoppers were browsing through the aisles at a Target in San Luis Obispo on Friday when the sound of loud porn interrupted their shopping trip. Stunned shoppers were left red-faced after the naughty sounds filled the store located in the 11000 block of Los Osos Valley Road. The police arrived at 11.30 a.m. to investigate how the audio track ended up being broadcast for all to hear. Sergeant Jeff Booth from San Luis Obispo police department said it was not known how the audio track was played on the PA system, or how long the explicit material was on. But a store employee, who wished to remain anonymous, told The Tribune that the store was briefly evacuated while staff figured out how to turn it off. Police are now investigating the incident. Sounds like someone was fed up on the job. Would some surprise smash noises make you stop shopping, or would you just finish getting your items and ring up?

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Customers Evacuated From Target After This Plays Over The PA Speakers…

Customers Evacuated From Target After This Plays Over The PA Speakers…

Customers Flee Target After Hearing Loud Porn Over Speakers Customers at a California Target were forced to cover their ears and leave the store after loud moans and grunts from a pornographic movie were mysteriously broadcast through the store’s speaker system. Via MailOnline : A group of shoppers at a Target store in California heard way more than they bargained for when the sound of porn played over the store’s PA system. The unsuspecting shoppers were browsing through the aisles at a Target in San Luis Obispo on Friday when the sound of loud porn interrupted their shopping trip. Stunned shoppers were left red-faced after the naughty sounds filled the store located in the 11000 block of Los Osos Valley Road. The police arrived at 11.30 a.m. to investigate how the audio track ended up being broadcast for all to hear. Sergeant Jeff Booth from San Luis Obispo police department said it was not known how the audio track was played on the PA system, or how long the explicit material was on. But a store employee, who wished to remain anonymous, told The Tribune that the store was briefly evacuated while staff figured out how to turn it off. Police are now investigating the incident. Sounds like someone was fed up on the job. Would some surprise smash noises make you stop shopping, or would you just finish getting your items and ring up?

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Customers Evacuated From Target After This Plays Over The PA Speakers…

Emily Ratajkowski in One of Her Last Photoshoots of the Day

Sports Illustrated has figured out how the internet works and I guess are releasing a photoshoot a day from their archives or from new content they shoot when they ship these girls to shoot for them..and today, I guess is Charity Day, you know pre-memorial day handouts…where they featured our friend Emily Ratajkowski and her amazing body, that must include Fake tits, because tits just don’t come in that shape and size…but when they do..they lead to instagram stardom…that I am sure is fizzling out, but that I’ll bring back to life…with my substantially influential blog…exposing her to 12 people who already probably jerk off to her… All this to say, I predict her being replaced by other big titty models, she’s just not compelling or exciting enough to really bother with..but Alba did exist for being just a hot chick, so you never know…but what I do know…is that she plays hard to get with me…with all that blocking on social media..and that makes me want to marry her…you know to keep things exciting…but until I get off my couch to propose to her..I’ll just stare and wonder how this happened…for 30 seconds…ok…over it.. The post Emily Ratajkowski in One of Her Last Photoshoots of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Emily Ratajkowski in One of Her Last Photoshoots of the Day

Gigi Paris in E-Commerce Pictures of the Day

I fucking hate catalog pics…whether they are for a company’s e commerce store…or for their actual catalog…they are always so badly shot, so uninteresting to look at, and they always make the model look like shit, like this Gigi Paris girl who has being going semi viral recently and people are talking about her…but in this shoot…she looks like she’s pushing 40….while pushing shitty bikinis…I can’t imagine anyone looking at thinking “oh I want that”… People need to stop being so fucking safe…and Christian…these are models, this is their job…make them crawl on all fours for it… TO SEE THE REST OF THE SHITTY E-COMM PICS CLICK HERE The post Gigi Paris in E-Commerce Pictures of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Gigi Paris in E-Commerce Pictures of the Day

The Woman Who Screams About her Uterus of the Day

Why are the topless protesters working with Femen never sexy as fuck…and always the kind of girl you’d expect to be protesting some shit about her uterus… It’s like why can’t hot model bitches stop sipping their cocktails on the private jet for 5 minutes, draw blood stains on their panties…and fucking crash political events in any random country they are from… I guess because those models already figured out how to use their vaginas for good…not evil… This seems like a Saturday Night Live Skit… The post The Woman Who Screams About her Uterus of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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The Woman Who Screams About her Uterus of the Day

Katy Perry’s Mom Bikini of the Day

Katy Perry posted this high waisted bikini, hat, bag in silly fabric because she’s silly combo on some boat called Sassy…because I guess she’s Sassy, but not sassy enough to take a sexy bikini pic I would consider trying to masturbate to, but rather more of a mom on a resort bikini photo that doesn’t give boners, but that does make you hope she’s got an eighteen year old daughter with her to give you something better to look at, you know traveling on their recently divorced, you dad cheated on me, let’s go to Mexico tour…I mean she’s got the tits, she just hasn’t quite figured out how to use them without being absolutely awkward as fuck…but maybe you like awkward bikini pics, and if you do, here it is…

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Katy Perry’s Mom Bikini of the Day

This Candy Ice Maker Is The Only Life Hack You Need This Halloween: Watch

A guy figured out how to turn his automatic ice maker into a candy dispenser. We bow down. Watch the video.

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This Candy Ice Maker Is The Only Life Hack You Need This Halloween: Watch

13 Reasons Kylie and Kendall Jenner Have 26 MILLION Instagram Followers!

By her own admission, Kylie Jenner is obsessed with Instagram . Her older sister, Kendall, isn’t quite as active on the photo-sharing site and with good reason: Kendall has a successful modeling career , and if you’re good at something (in this case posing for pics), you should never do it for free. Plus – at 18 – Kendall is wiser, more mature, practically ancient in the selfie-obsessed world of social media.  Kendall and Kylie Jenner: Queens of Instagram! 1. Selfies! Kendall and Kylie doing what they do best. What these girls have done before camera phones? Even so, Kendall’s been in the game longer, so she’s rocking slightly more followers than her lil sis. And by slightly, we mean almost 2 million. Sounds like a lot, but it’s human chump change when you’re the Jenner sisters, who the enjoy attention of over 26 million followers between them. How do they do it? Well, it’s simple, really. The Jenners have figured out how far you can get with the perfect combination of style, selfies, disturbingly age inappropriate imagery, and, oh yeah…it helps to come from one of the world’s most famous families. That last part is key. But even if your last name doesn’t frequently appear on the cover of Us Weekly , you can still amass millions of fans (or at least a few hundred followers) simply by following the Kendall and Kylie Guide to Shameless Self Promotion. So grab your most revealing attire, leave your shyness and sense of dignity at the door, and jump into the gallery above to find out how KJ and KJ became the Queens of Instagram. Oh, and if you happen to know a famous rapper, form a romantic relationship with him ASAP! Even if – scratch that, especially if – he’s not that famous and way older than you .

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13 Reasons Kylie and Kendall Jenner Have 26 MILLION Instagram Followers!

Michelle Vawer Is A Girl You Should Know

Here’s former SI Swimsuit Issue hottie Michelle Vawer , and while I unfortunately still haven’t figured out how to make her a future ex-Mrs. Tuna yet, it’s not all bad news: I did manage to find another super-hot lingerie shoot of hers for us all to drool over in the meantime. And since I’m sure that’s more important to you perverts than your favorite blogger’s love life, I have a feeling that news should still make you all pretty happy. You selfish bastards. » view all 19 photos

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Michelle Vawer Is A Girl You Should Know