Farrah Abraham was essentially dropped like a bad habit after an epic failure of a trip to meet her boyfriend’s family on Teen Mom last night. Her performance was a virtual list of how NOT to act in that situation. Farrah telling Daniel’s dad’s girlfriend, upon hearing she wanted kids, “You haven’t had children yet? I don’t think it’s going to happen then.” When she said she’s 51, Farrah said, “You’re going to be a looone bird.” By the end of the night, Abraham was the lone bird flying back to Florida sans Dan, who ” couldn’t take it anymore .” Hard to blame the guy. Yeah, she gave Overly Attached Girlfriend a run for her crazy. The way Daniel flaked wasn’t the classiest maneuver, but it’s easy to see why he freaked. Prior to this trip, Farrah’s greatest relationship blunders included: Talking about their future life together in Texas. Saying she’d like to have three kids by the time she’s 23. Joking about picking out her “wedding dress” and “engagement ring” during a shopping excursion and issuing an ultimatum while paddle boating. Recording possibly the worst song in human history. Okay, Farrah Abraham’s “Finally Getting Up From Rock Bottom” came later. But still. Ouch.
The now 23-year-old singer dishes to MTV News that ‘The Next’ co-stars will be on hand for birthday bash. By Jocelyn Vena, with reporting by Kara Warner Joe Jonas Photo: MTV News
The Bawse sounds off on a variety of topics — including his former job with Florida Department of Corrections — in Rolling Stone . Rick Ross on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine Photo: Rolling Stone
Meanwhile in Florida… Woman Fatally Shoots Man Who Refuses To Give Her A Beer People are still losing their minds out in Florida …. A Florida Keys woman known as “Sea Hag” has been charged with fatally shooting a man who refused to give her a beer. Carolyn Dukeshire, 62, was arrested late Sunday, charged with first-degree murder. According to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office, Dukeshire shot 64-year-old Martin Mazur five times after Mazur denied her a beer. Casey Whippo, who was with Mazur at the time of the shooting told police they had just returned from dinner to Mazur’s house in Conch Key, were sitting outside and had just opened a beer. Dukeshire walked around the side of the house and asked if she could have one, the witness told investigators. When Mazur refused, he said, she opened fire, shooting him in the abdomen, twice in the back and once in the wrist. After a struggle, she tossed the gun into a canal and sat down before police arrived. Mazur was rushed to Fisherman’s Hospital in Marathon, Fla., where he later died. Beer or die? It’s never that serious. SMH. Source Image via Shutterstock
Walking out of The Watch , Saturday Night Live writer Akiva Schaffer’s garrulous but indistinctive directing debut, a young woman in front of me complained to her friend. “What do you even say about that?” he’d asked. “I have no idea,” she said. She only had to write up a list of the movie’s pros and cons, and even then she could think of but one item for the former column. It’s not that The Watch is terrible – it’s not not terrible, but there are sufficient diversions and more punitive ways to spend your evening – but that it’s one of those smoke bomb comedies that seems to disappear even while you’re watching, leaving no trace of itself behind. A studio gumbo of proven quantities – here’s Vince Vaughn doing his flirty, towel-snapping thing, Ben Stiller playing a tightly wound Citizen Costco, um, rabid aliens, beer- and pot-sealed enshrinement of male bonding – The Watch leaves very little to say because, despite the near-constant jabber, it says, and aspires to, so very little. There is a concept, of course, and it’s high enough to track with those non-native Apatowians (Seth Rogen co-wrote the script with Jared Stern and his longtime writing partner Evan Goldberg) sadly unable to keep up with the movie’s urban thesaurus worth of masturbation references. Home team-loving Evan (Stiller) is what Max Fischer might be like if he grew up to manage a Costco and moved to Middle America. Trying to prop up his flagging self-image with extra credit community work, Evan is also trying (and failing) to have a child with his adorable wife (Rosemarie DeWitt). When his overnight security guard is found in a pile of viscera and green goo, Evan responds the only way he knows how: By deputizing himself as the leader of yet another organization, a neighborhood watch. I saw the trailer for The Watch back when it was still called Neighborhood Watch , just as the February murder of Florida teenager Trayvon Martin by a patrolling neighborhood watch volunteer was coming to national attention. No doubt a couple of 20 th Century Fox executives had a couple of sleepless nights, wondering if their lewd little genre mash-up would be found guilty by association. They did what studios do in these dismally self-interested situations – a shell game currently being played by Warner Bros. with their Gangster Squad , whose release has been postponed until next year in the wake of the Aurora shootings: They changed the title. It’s all about optics and the bottom line, and between those two imperatives less and less to do with (moral and other kinds of) substance in storytelling and image making seems to survive. With the exception of the character of Franklin (Jonah Hill), one of Evan’s three compatriots (including Vaughn’s bored dad and Richard Ayoade as a deceptively well-bred Brit looking to blend in), and a funny scene in which Stiller and Vaughn vie to get the last bullet into an alien corpse, The Watch is too clearly about cartoon battles and puerile riffing to inspire queasiness. Police Academy reject Franklin is keen to whip some neighborhood ass; he slings a blade around, refers to their club as a “militia,” and has an arsenal of automatic weapons hidden under his childhood bed. He’s really a pussycat, of course, and when it falls on the quartet to save their town from alien invasion (Will Forte is brilliant as usual playing one of the town’s handful of ineffectual cops; a creepy Billy Crudup is also welcome in a small part) and a divide forms between the two alpha males, Stiller and Vaughn vie for his loyalty. The Watch received an R-rating, which mostly means that the usual complement of dick jokes have room to flower into a full-blown penile fixation – to grow taller, bloom fatter, scatter more potent seeds, etc, etc. Some of it’s funny; most of it’s a flat-out grind. (Least clever is the movie’s nod to its own preoccupation with everything phallic and fluid; like I tell my landlord, acknowledging the problem is not the same as fixing it.) Back in March, the Watch trailer preceded a showing of 21 Jump Street , a movie that should not have worked if ever a movie were doomed from the start (or by its title), and yet it restored my faith in the studio comedy; side by side the two movies are a study in the difference between inspired silliness and what is merely and persistently slight. The Watch is in wide release Friday. Follow Michelle Orange on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
These broads ain’t isht ! A Florida mom who ditched her 1-year-old baby and escaped in the midst of an alleged theft at a Wal-Mart was apprehended the next night outside a dance club, according to reports. Ocala police say they collared Allison Niemeyer, 19, along with her sister, Laura Niemeyer, 22, Saturday after the pair allegedly tried to steal from the store Friday afternoon. As the scheme went awry, Allison Niemeyer’s son was left behind, and authorities went searching for both women on charges of felony child neglect and retail theft, according to The Gainesville Sun. The women had allegedly stuffed items into the baby’s diaper bag — a bathing suit, men’s undershirts and four women’s shirts worth $57.12, Central Florida News 13 reported. But as they tried to leave the store, a security guard called them back. That’s when police say the pair bolted. Allison Niemeyer took off immediately, leaving the baby with her sister, according to reports. Laura Niemeyer soon broke free from the officer as well, but reportedly left behind the baby and the loot. The women got away in a blue Ford Aerostar van that was waiting for them in the parking lot, police said. A tip, however, led police to find the women’s car at the Ocala Entertainment Complex on Saturday, The Sun reported. Police had the owner of the car paged, and when the sisters appeared outside, they were arrested. Besides the neglect and theft charges, Laura was charged with resisting a merchant and Allison was charged with violating her probation. Police said Allison is under house arrest until 2021 for her involvement in a home invasion robbery with a firearm that occurred in 2010 while she was pregnant. A 61-year-old man was pistol-whipped during the break-in, according to reports. Laura also has three previous convictions for retail theft and grand theft, according to News 13. Allison Niemeyer’s son was placed in the care of the Florida Department of Children and Families. These chicks sound like bad business. Thievin’ azz broads. Teaching that baby to steal before he can even talk — then leaving him behind… SMH! Source
Christina Milian Takes Her Daughter Violet To Miami Beach C-Milli just can’t get enough of Miami Beach (or attention sloring that bangin’ bawwwdy of hers)… The Latina mommy-banger was spotted taking Violet out for some fun in the sun Friday and we thought we’d share the love. Hey gurl heeeey! There is something that feels so wrong about ogling C-Milli with the baby grinning from the sideline. But oh well. Shall we proceed? Lots more shots on the flip!
George Zimmerman spoke with Fox News’ Sean Hannity for his first sit down interview since he killed unarmed Florida teenager Trayvon Martin. Zimmerman claims he killed…
