Tag Archives: Funny

Beyonce Kills Bitches of the Day

I would hate to be the bitch famous for being being the bitch who got overly excited over some negro bitch she’s seen on TV…. It’s like the whole world is laughing at this fat white chick who was running after Beyonce in the airport in Nice, only to fall all over herself, cuz fat chicks are designed to run, all while Beyonce, looked on and laughed ot herself, cuz Beyonce is a cunt and doesn’t actually give a shit about her fans…at least that’s the vibe I get from watching her unwillingly over the years…as she ditched her band for her own personal gain…she’s just one of those self involved cunts….and this bitch is just an idiot chasing after her for a brush with celebrity…something I’ll never understand unless there’s sex tape filming/rape opportunity…in which case I’d be down cuz it makes financial fucking sense.. Either way, what a fucking clown. Speaking of clowns, this is my second Beyonce post today…and that makes me feel real fucking stupid. TO See The Funny pictures that I don’t have the right to post… FOLLOW THIS LINK

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Beyonce Kills Bitches of the Day

Justin Bieber: Will He Blend?

Justin Bieber is more than just the subject of every teenage girl’s desires. He’s also the subject of an important science experiment. In a new video, the funny folks behind Blendtec – who specialize in simply tossing items, such as iPads and Vuvuzelas, into a blender – have filmed one of their staff members testing Justin’s memorabilia. What happens when Bieber’s figurines, memoir and DVD are tossed into the everyday kitchen appliance? Find out now: Will Justin Bieber Blend?

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Justin Bieber: Will He Blend?

America’s Got Talent: Reigning in Seattle?

America’s Got Talent headed to Seattle this week, with the show losing credibility every time Howie tries to let in lemon acts such as the Paper Horn Man. The evening didn’t impress me much and I was surprised the producers decided kept this episode alone when tomorrow’s previews were miles better than most of the auditions this week. For the highs and lows, read on… The Highs Seattle’s First Contestant, impressionist Melissa Villasenor, was probably the best opening for a talent show in a while. Comedians/impressionists don’t normally succeed on the show, but she was almost pitch perfect and deserves to make it to America’s vote. Good Little Kids – I’m not sure why Sady’s parents dressed her in something like a raincoat and rain boots, but her scatting was something that I haven’t heard; she’s like the anti- Jackie Evancho . Nick Cannon’s Hosting – Watching Nick’s reaction to the drag act and the horrible magician was the best. His performance with Paper Horn Man was amazing, as well. I’ll admit that while he’s no Cat Deeley, Nick brings a nice dynamic to the show. The Lows Howie/Piers Fights – Let’s stop focusing on the judges and more on the talent. I question Sharon’s judging abilities when she caved and let Mauricio go through just so Howie could have a good laugh. If the contestants didn’t impress on the first shot, they shouldn’t make it through. The A+C Twins were bad, but Howie coming in and performing was lighthearted and funny; sure, it wasted time, but it was better than bickering. Paper Horn Man – I’ll admit, when I heard Carlton’s voice, I imagined that he could be the next Ted Williams . Alas, he’ll probably just be the crazy homeless guy you see at your local subway. Generic Dance Groups – We got to see a clip of The Electrolytes perform and the judges were blown away. I didn’t get it. They were okay. There are two groups that set the standard for hip hop dancers: America’s Best Dance Crew’s JabbaWockeeZ and Britain’s Got Talent’s Diversity. From the clips we got, The Electrolytes brought nothing new to the table. The Burning Questions Foreigners – There were several acts in Seattle that made me question the “America” part. As much as I loved Zuma Zuma, the Kenyan aerial group that didn’t need mats, they admitted they were from Kenya. Along with them Mauricio Herrera, who was famous in Costa Rica but born in America, made me question his credibility. I’m sure that at least one of the two will be cut, but should contestants win if they aren’t American? Breaking Groups Up – Poplyfe was a really good act and I’m shocked that Piers would even consider only taking the one girl in the six person group. Unlike Season Four’s Marcus Terrell & the Serenades, The whole band was good and they had this wonderful vibe. Overall, the episode was a bit boring and had the stereotypes we always see: the funny old person, talented little kids, dance groups, bad singers, and bad magicians. Outside of Melissa Villasenor and Poplyfe, no one else impressed me. How about you?

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America’s Got Talent: Reigning in Seattle?

‘Eclipse’ Star Makes Plea For MTV Movie Awards Votes!

Jackson Rathbone tells Twilighters, ‘We’ve got a lot of heavy competition this year.’ By Jocelyn Vena, with reporting by Eric Ditzian Jackson Rathbone Photo: MTV News WEST HOLLYWOOD, California — Hard-core Twilighters don’t need a reason to vote for “Eclipse” at the 2011 MTV Movie Awards , but if you’re torn, co-star Jackson Rathbone has some great reasons why you should help the third movie in the “Twilight Saga” take home some trophies at the show on Sunday. “We’ve got a lot of heavy competition this year — some Oscar winners, some amazing films, some amazing actors,” Rathbone said, reaching out to Movie Awards voters this week. “We’re just lucky to be in … contention, but y’all can help us out and go online and vote.” “Eclipse” is up for eight awards at the big show, including nods in categories like Best Movie, Best Female Performance, Best Male Performance, Best Breakout Star, Best Fight and Best Kiss, which has Kristen Stewart nominated for kissing both Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson ( Le scandal! ). And Jackson had one more push for the flicks. “Go out and vote and help us out. We need your votes,” he added. The “Twilight Saga” has had a quite a streak in recent years, taking home nearly 10 Golden Popcorn statues in all. And there’s a good chance the latest film will do well this weekend, when it will be up against a slew of other big flicks like ‘Inception” and “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1,” and “Eclipse” stars will compete against A-listers like Emma Watson, Zac Efron, Emma Stone and Jesse Eisenberg, to name a few. “Twilight” director Catherine Hardwicke recently told us she was excited to learn that the David Slade-directed film is nominated for so many Movie Awards. “I think it’s great. I love it that people are so passionate about it and that people are really into it and following the characters,” she said when we chatted with her about the June 14 DVD release of “Red Riding Hood.” “I think it’s a great tribute, obviously, to what [author] Stephenie Meyer created. … Rob and Kristen and everybody’s been able to just keep it going and keep people loving it all this time, and, of course, all the directors, everybody. I think it’s awesome. It’s great.” Hosted by Jason Sudeikis, the 20th annual MTV Movie Awards air live on Sunday, June 5, at 9 p.m. ET/PT, from the Gibson Amphitheatre in Universal City, California. Will wizards, vampires or dream thieves steal the 2011 MTV Movie Awards ? Find out June 5, when the 20th annual show airs live at 9 p.m. ET/PT. Tune in at 7:30 p.m. ET/PT that night for the “America’s Best Dance Crew” finale and Movie Awards pre-show, loaded with live action from the red carpet, exclusive movie clips and a special edition of “After Hours.” To get into the magical movie mood, it’s Sneak Peek Week — five days of exclusives and interviews with the casts of “Fright Night,” “Horrible Bosses” and more. Check out everything there is to know about Sneak Peek Week, the Movie Awards and the pre-show at MovieAwards.MTV.com ! Related Videos Get Ready For The 2011 MTV Movie Awards! Related Photos ‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’

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‘Eclipse’ Star Makes Plea For MTV Movie Awards Votes!

Jack Black, Seth Rogen Offer MTV Movie Awards Advice To Jason Sudeikis

‘Don’t go halfway,’ Black tells the 2011 host before Sunday’s big show. By Jocelyn Vena Jason Sudeikis Jason Sudeikis is mere days away from taking the stage at the Gibson Amphitheatre in Universal City, California, to host the 2011 MTV Movie Awards this Sunday. We’re pretty sure he doesn’t need much advice — since he keeps the audience in stitches week after week as a castmate on “Saturday Night Live” and is bound to have everyone laughing in the summer comedy “Horrible Bosses” — but if he does need some last-minute words, MTV News caught up with some other funny guys to help out. “Don’t go halfway. Oh here it is: All of the f—ing way,” said Jack Black, who co-hosted the Movie Awards with Sarah Michelle Gellar in 2002. “That should be his mantra.” Need shorthand for that? Black added: “AOTFW.” While Seth Rogen seemed to be a little jealous of Sudeikis’ gig, he did have kind words for the host. “I don’t think he needs our advice,” Rogen said, with pal Danny McBride by his side. “I’ve been jockeying for that gig for 10 years, and he got it.” But what about some more advice from someone who’s been there before? Andy Samberg , who hosted the Movie Awards back in 2009, shared with MTV News some key steps to ensure a successful hosting gig. “What advice can you give to a guy that has it all? Be yourself, grab ’em by the scruff of the neck and don’t let go,” he advised. “Wear a nice suit. Hydrate. Crunches. Make sure ‘Twilight’ wins everything so the crowd is lively. Rig the results!” Another former host, 2010 emcee Aziz Ansari , had some different advice for the actor/comedian. “It’s so much work, so definitely have a lot of uppers on hand, like just drugs that’ll get you fired up,” he joked. “PCP is good to stay up all night, get all the work done. It’s a cool thing, though; it’s back in vogue. It’s like Twitter, PCP. It’s like trendy things: Twitter, PCP, Jonas Brothers.” The 20th annual MTV Movie Awards air live this Sunday, June 5, at 9 p.m. ET/PT. Will wizards, vampires or dream thieves steal the 2011 MTV Movie Awards ? Find out June 5, when the 20th annual show airs live at 9 p.m. ET/PT. Tune in at 7:30 p.m. ET/PT that night for the “America’s Best Dance Crew” finale and Movie Awards pre-show, loaded with live action from the red carpet, exclusive movie clips and a special edition of “After Hours.” To get into the magical movie mood, it’s Sneak Peek Week — five days of exclusives and interviews with the casts of “Fright Night,” “Horrible Bosses” and more. Check out everything there is to know about Sneak Peek Week, the Movie Awards and the pre-show at MovieAwards.MTV.com ! Related Videos Get Ready For The 2011 MTV Movie Awards! Related Photos 2011 Movie Awards: Meet Our Host Jason Sudeikis

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Jack Black, Seth Rogen Offer MTV Movie Awards Advice To Jason Sudeikis

Top 10 Former ’90s Child Stars Gone Naked

What’s the most clichéd thing a child star can do to shed the innocent cuteness they first became famous for to make people realize they’re not kids anymore? Get naked, of course. Like so many before them, these child actors from the 1990s shed their clothes and even did some nasty onscreen stuff to obliterate whatever memory people had of them as cute little children. And boy, did that work. 10. Lindsay Lohan First known for: Playing twins in 1998’s The Parent Trap , made when she was 11. Gone naked in: New York Magazine in 2008, not to mention countless lip and nip slips . 9. Leelee Sobieski First known for: Being a skinny 15-year old in Jungle2Jungle , a 1997 Hollywood remake of a French film. Gone naked in: the 2001 TV movie Uprising , and later in 2002’s L’Idole (The Idol). 8. Lacey Chabert First known for: The Fox drama series Party of Five , where she played 11-year child prodigy Claudia Salinger Gone naked in: 2002’s The Scoundrel’s Wife 7. Natalie Portman First known for: playing a 12-year-old girl whose entire family gets murdered in Leon (The Professional). Gone naked in: more like showcased her bare ass in Hotel Chevalier , from 2007. 6. Kirsten Dunst First known for: her portrayal of a vicious vampire trapped in a 10-year-old’s body in Interview With the Vampire . Gone naked in: Last year’s All Good Things . 5. Christina Ricci First known for: playing Wednesday Addams to creepy perfection in two Addams Family films in the 1990s. Gone naked in: 2001’s Prozac Nation , and even more so in Black Snake Moan from 2006. 4. Thora Birch First known for: Playing the 10-year-old daughter of Jack Ryan, Harrison Ford’s character, in Patriot Games Gone naked in: American Beauty , although she was still underage when she did it. 3. Madeline Zima First known for: being the youngest of the Sheffield siblings in Fran Drescher’s 90s sitcom The Nanny . Gone naked in: The Showtime comedy series Californication , where she f**ked and punched David Duchovny as an underage teenager. 2. Anna Paquin First known for: Winning an Oscar at the age of 11 for her performance as the precocious daughter of Holly Hunter’s mute character in 1993’s The Piano . Gone naked in: HBO’s vampire drama series True Blood . Multiple times. In really sexy sex scenes. 1. Shawna Waldron First known for: playing “Icebox”, the 12-year-old tomboy daughter of Rick Moranis’ character in the 1994 family movie Little Giants . Also played the First Daughter in The American President opposite Michael Douglas. Gone naked in: The straight to DVD sequel Poison Ivy: The Secret Society . Why she’s no. 1: Because unlike the other girls on this list, her naked performance got the closest to being soft porn. Wait. It IS soft porn! Related Posts: 10 Zombie Jesus Tattoos 10 Celebrity Virgins – Or So They Claim To Be 20 of the Prettiest Women in Porn Today 22 Bad English Signs 10 Famous Women Who Were Victims of Rape

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Top 10 Former ’90s Child Stars Gone Naked

10 Awesome White Martial Artists In Movies Not Named Chuck Norris

There was a time when people equated martial arts with Asians. Can’t blame them really, as it was Bruce Lee who first made cinematic fighting look really good. But with the emergence of Chuck Norris , the most awesomest action hero ever of all time to the nth power, a lot of white boys have followed suit. While the likes of Jet Li and Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa are without a doubt still the best in the onscreen fighting business, movie martial arts are at least no longer their exclusive territory. Here are ten white dudes who picked up where Chuck Norris left off. 1. Ray Park At the age of 16, Ray Park was already a martial arts champion, and continued winning tournaments around the world as he grew older. He later did stunt work for films like Mortal Kombat . His portrayal of the Sith Lord Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace led to roles in other big movies, a number of them just as incognito as he is in the Star Wars prequel. His fighting skills, however, are there for everyone to see. 2. Jason Statham The Transporter trilogy made Jason Statham an action superstar, and rightly so. He looked and acted the part. In fact, in the hand-to hand combat scenes of a movie like the testosterone-laden The Expendables , he comes off as the toughest and the most hard hitting of them all. 3. Jeffrey Falcon Many fans know him from the cult favorite Six-String Samurai , but Jeff Falcon, a former member of the US Wushu Team, starred in a bunch of Hong Kong films during the late 80s and early 90s, most of them bad ones. The martial arts, however, was really good. 4. Steven Seagal In the 70s and early 80s, most martial arts movies featured either kung fu or karate. Then came Steven Seagal, who introduced the moviegoing public to Aikido via the 1988 movie Above the Law . While Seagal couldn’t act to save his life, he did make dispatching foes in such bone-crunching fashion look real cool on screen. 5. Jeff Speakman Yet another martial arts form was introduced to film in 1991 when Jeff Speakman starred in The Perfect Weapon . Speakman, an 8th dan in American Kenpo Karate, showed us how a combination of speed and power can kick an entire dojo’s ass. 6. Brad Allan The fact that he is the 1st non-Asian member of Jackie Chan’s stunt team speaks volumes about this diminutive martial artist’s abilities. A Wushu practitioner since the age of 14, Allan is also proficient in karate, aikido, boxing and kickboxing. He has appeared in a number of Jackie Chan’s movies, but his most memorable turn was in Gorgeous , where his fighting capabilities was put in full display with 2 action-packed sparring sessions with Jackie himself. He now works as a stunt coordinator for major Hollywood films like The Chronicles of Riddick, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and most recently, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. 7. Scott Adkins Like many good martial artists, English actor Scott Adkins started appearing in action movies as some henchman or minion of the main villain, often getting his ass kicked in short order by the hero. He still was the villain in the direct to dvd sequel Undisputed II: Last Man Standing , but his role as Uri Boyka was an excellent showcase for his skills, and directly led to bigger jobs and eventually a starring role in the 2010 release Ninja. 8. Jean Claude Van Damme Jean Claude Van Damme is one of the few movie martial arts superstars who actually competed in full-contact karate and kickboxing tournaments, and was pretty good at it. His breakout film, Bloodsport , showcased much of Van Damme’s martial arts skills (and flexibility, doing splits like they were nothing). He soon became one of the biggest action superstars of the 80s and early 90s, with films like Kickboxer, Cyborg, Hard Target and Timecop . Aside from his ability to do compete splits, he is also well-known for his patented helicopter-style, jump spinning heel kicks. 9. Cyril Raffaelli If there’s a French movie that has some martial arts in it, chances are, Cyril Raffaelli is in it. A regular in Luc Besson films, Rafaelli’s skills extend beyond martial arts though, as he is a Parkour practitioner as well. The Banlieue 13 movies saw him do an awesome mix of Parkour and karate and wushu. However, his talents were showcased to a much bigger audience in Live Free or Die Hard , where he toyed with Bruce Willis, but was defeated anyway. It’s John McClane for cryin’ out loud. 10. David Belle The founder of Parkour, David Belle made jaws drop with his seemingly impossible feats of scaling, navigating and jumping off buildings in the quickest manner possible in the Banlieue 13 films. While his films didn’t really showcase much of his fighting skills, the chase scenes are especially astounding, right up there with the ones done by the likes of Jackie Chan and Tony Jaa. Some would even say he’s better. No nasty falls here. Bonus: White Guys Who Are Not Martial Artists But Kicked Ass In Movies Just the Same Liam Neeson The big guy has always looked good in his fight scenes, either in sword fights in films like Rob Roy or in light sabre duels as a Jedi Master in The Phantom Menace . But it was his brutally efficient manner of disposing of his daughter’s kidnappers in the 2009 surprise hit Taken that cemented Neeson’s reputation as a cinematic badass. There has been some debate on the kind of martial arts used by Neeson in this movie, but many agree it’s closest to Kali or eskrima, the same Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) based fighting style used in the Bourne movies. Matt Damon And speaking of the Bourne movies, Matt Damon had to undergo three months of intense martial arts and stunt work training. The result, of course, were some of the most brutal hand-to-hand fight scenes in film history. Related Posts: Top 10 Live Performance Falls of Singers 10 Bullies Get Pwned Videos The 25 Most Important Dating Tips (Videos) 10 Hollywood Actors Who Can Actually Sing 10 Funny Anti-Smoking TV Ads

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10 Awesome White Martial Artists In Movies Not Named Chuck Norris

Cameron Diaz Does Maxim of the Day

I hate Maxim. I mean if you think about it, I should try to be friends with them and sell my site to them, so I can retire, and travel the world with a flipcam making amateur porn videos of dumb sluts for the internet for at least a month, because that’s all this site is worth… But instead, I write hateful letters to the Vice President, and CEO telling them how useless they are, how shitty their photoshoots are, and to embrace the fact that it’s not 1994 and the world doesn’t need them…. Leading to them hating me and sending me lawyers letters everytime I post pictures of their bottom feeding celebrity photoshoots, that have declined and become more insignificant every year…. Because I’m not in a position to take pics of these bitches in my basement apartment, so I rely on other people to do it for me… And the funny thing in all this is that MAXIM featured me in an article years ago….gave me a photoshoot like I was Cameron Diaz and shit….giving me more reason to be nice to them… But I just feel when you’re done, you’re done and sometimes you need a friend to tell you… That doesn’t mean I don’t like looking at Cameron Diaz’s old photoshopped legs….She’s spectacular…that’s just to say, I’d rather see it in any other venue but in MAXIM… To See The Rest of the Pictures Follow THis Link

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Cameron Diaz Does Maxim of the Day

Shaq & Hoopz Look Like They Have A Lot Of Fun Together [PHOTOS]

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Shaq and Hoopz may look like an odd couple but the two seem to really enjoy each others company! Not only have they lasted longer than anyone ever expected, Shaq and Hoopz have a fun relationship. Check out the photos of them on a regular day having a blast with one another. It is alleged that Hoopz is working on a reality show “based on her suburban life and her desire to become a women’s health and self-defense guru.” Spotted @ Necole Bitchie.com Shaq’s Mistress Writes Love Letter Including Details On Sexual Acts Shaq Does His Best Beyonce Impression With Hoopz [FUNNY VIDEO]

Shaq & Hoopz Look Like They Have A Lot Of Fun Together [PHOTOS]

10 Bullies Get Pwned Videos

There was a time when bullies actually lorded it over schools and neighborhoods. Not anymore. The bullied are starting to fight back. Or at least getting someone else fight back for them, compared to the times when all people did was watch, particularly when the trouble involves women . The point is, bullies are starting to get what they deserve. And thanks to modern technology and the Internet, we get to see all that via videos on Youtube. For anyone who has been bullied, these guys are heroes. 1. Bully Becomes Someone’s Bitch Bully wants to fight, the bullied didn’t want to, bully attacks the bullied, and bully becomes the bullied’s bitch. That’s the way it should be. 2. Bully Clotheslines Girl, Turned Into Punching Bag By Girl’s BF The next time you clothesline some girl, make sure she doesn’t have Manny Pacquiao for a boyfriend. 3. TapOut Guy Gets Tapped Out This bully just gave TapOut merch a bad name. 4. Bully Gets In A Karate Expert’s Face, Gets One In the Face Honestly, this punk stood a better chance against the garbage bin. 5. Scrawny Bully Gets Owned By Lanky Victim This bully also stood a better chance against the skateboard. 6. Old Man Knocks Young Bully Down Seriously, what’s with kids picking on weaker old men? Too bad for this one his victim’s not that weak. 7. Blonde Bully Gets Suckerpunched Victims of bullying should be this smart. Pretend to not want to fight, then unleash a knockout punch. 8. Abraham Lincoln Pulls Down Bully’s Pants OK, so the guy was probably harassing an ex-girlfriend, but The Great Emancipator would never stand for any of that crap and does the righteous thing of pulling the bully’s pants down. 9. Old Guy Gives Bully A Beatdown This is just so wrong. Bearded old guy should also have slapped the crap out of the potty mouth bitch holding the camera and egging the bully on, and later stealing his bag. 10. Casey Heynes, Hero He actually did what millions of bullying victims the world over have only fantasized about. What an inspiration. Related Posts: Top 10 Live Performance Falls of Singers The 25 Most Important Dating Tips (Videos) 10 Crazy Chick Fight Videos 101 Most Popular Celebrity Nipple Slip Videos and Clips 10 Hollywood Actors Who Can Actually Sing

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10 Bullies Get Pwned Videos