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REVIEW: What If Women Ran the Middle East? Sanctimonious If Entertaining Where Do We Go Now? Has the Answer

It’s dangerous business to begin a movie with a voice-over monologue introducing “a long tale of women dressed in black.” Run, while there’s still time! Yet it’s a testament to director and actress Nadine Labaki’s gracefulness she pulls off this story as well as she does in Where Do We Go Now? , a fable set in a fictional town, presumably in Lebanon, where Christians and Muslims live together in bumptious accord, if not in complete harmony. Actually, the women – those aforementioned creatures dressed in black – get along famously, gathering regularly at the same café for all manner of gossip and chitchat. It’s the men who can’t hold it together: They’re always on the brink of fisticuffs and worse, each group expecting only the worst from the other. Don’t look now, but somebody filled the church holy water fonts with blood – must be the Muslims! Goats and chickens running amok in the mosque? Got to be those pesky Christians! The women are always suffering because of the men: As the movie opens, they stride toward the local cemetery en masse, their procession orchestrated as if it were a Pina Bausch routine, with somber, stiff leg movements and rhythmic breast-beating. The graves – Christians on one side of the burial ground, Muslims on the other – all bear pictures of the women’s lost men, people who have caused them a great deal of sorrow. The problem, as Labaki and her co-writers Jhad Hojeily and Rodney Al Haddad make clear, is that the men just can’t stop fighting. The village also happens to be located in an area riven by violence – it’s surrounded by land mines, which, in an early scene, kill a hapless goat. (The event is played for laughs, not pathos.) Meanwhile, a tentative romance brews between doe-eyed café proprietress Amale (Labaki, a sultry and winning presence) and local handyman Rabih (Julien Farhat), who’s doing some renovation work in her establishment. She’s Christian, he’s Muslim, and their union will be symbolic if it ever gets off the ground. But again, those men! They just won’t listen. The women eventually hatch a plan to keep peace in the village, but tragedy strikes regardless, making their lot even more challenging and wearying. You can see where Labaki is going with all this: If women ruled the world, there’d be no more war. It’s a darling idea, and Labaki does all she can to keep the proceedings entertaining – the picture is dotted with whimsical comedic touches and even includes a smattering of spontaneous Umbrellas of Cherbourg -style musical numbers. It also features an ensemble cast made up largely of nonprofessional actors, and they can be quite charming to watch. For a picture about centuries-old infighting and suffering, Where Do We Go Now? really is pretty cheerful. But its occasional entertainment value aside, the picture is also blithe to the point of being flimsy. This is Labaki’s second feature: The first was the 2007 Caramel , an engaging and visually lush picture set in a Beirut beauty shop, the perfect setting for a very different sort of story about the complications of women’s lives. Caramel is a delightfully fizzy picture, but oddly enough – or perhaps not – it cuts much deeper than Where Do We Go Now? It’s far less sanctimonious, and it defines some of the very real challenges modern women face in the Middle East: Even though its characters feel they’re free to shape their own futures, there are certain restrictions – put in place by men, of course – that threaten to hold them back. One character in Caramel is engaged to be married and has to find a solution to prevent her fiancé from learning that he isn’t her first. You could argue that her plight is nothing compared with massive wars fought on religious grounds. Then again, it’s a man’s pride she’s trying to protect, and she’ll do what it takes to preserve his illusions. Labaki clearly understands the connection between the larger battles and the small ones – it’s just that her ideas come through more subtly and effectively in the beauty-shop movie than in the war-zone movie. She doesn’t need exploding land mines to get her point across. Follow Stephanie Zacharek on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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REVIEW: What If Women Ran the Middle East? Sanctimonious If Entertaining Where Do We Go Now? Has the Answer

REVIEW: God Bless America Chokes to Death on Bobcat Goldthwait’s Nihilism

Comedian-turned-director Bobcat Goldthwait has always displayed an incredibly dark sense of humor in his work behind the camera, from his 1991 alcoholic birthday party performer debut  Shakes the Clown to bestiality-themed rom-com  Sleeping Dogs Lie to  World’s Greatest Dad , in which Robin Williams plays a high-school English teacher whose son’s death becomes a way for him to realize his unfulfilled dreams of being a writer. But no matter how black the comedy, these films had warmth to them, too, and the possibility of things getting better and characters, however painfully, changing and growing. That’s not the case in God Bless America , Goldthwait’s latest effort, an overly bleak film ready to write off the world and go down in a blaze of gunfire, both middle fingers raised. Joel Murray plays Frank, a divorced father and depressed office worker who gets laid off and diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor all in the same day, providing enough push for him to finally load up his revolver and set off on the murderous spree he’s been dreaming of for years. “I know it’s not normal to want to kill,” he muses in the opening voiceover, “but I also know that I am no longer normal.” When making his first hit, of a bratty teenage reality show star named Chloe (Maddie Hasson), he picks up a surprise sidekick named Roxy (Tara Lynne Barr), a smart, alienated high schooler who thinks that what Frank did is the best thing she’s ever seen. The two partner up and Bonnie and Clyde their way along a bloody road to nowhere while working out the logistics of who it is they’re targeting. Frank hates people who are inconsiderate, who are rude and who take pleasure in making fun of others. Roxy hates more specifically — NASCAR fans, people who high-five, Diablo Cody. As for who Goldthwait hates, you get the sense it’s all of the above and more — anyone who watches  American Idol,  anyone who competes on  American Idol,  morning show radio hosts, cable news blowhards, the Tea Party, parents who overindulge their children and people who talk during movies (the last leads to the film’s most rewarding scene).  God Bless America sets these figures up to mow them down, and while there’s a minor satisfaction to be taken from seeing these bloody revenge fantasies brought to life — take that , Westboro Baptist Church! — the film’s judgments come so easily, its targets portrayed as so one-dimensional that it feels like a cheat. The world in which the film is set is so universally monstrous that it deserves to be blown up, but it’s an embittered, exaggerated take, a giant straw-man argument. When Frank flips on the television, all he sees are people making fun of a mentally disabled reality show contestant. When Frank gets the news of his illness, his doctor takes a call in the middle, from his car dealership. And when Frank tries to talk with his daughter about her upcoming weekend with him, she tries to extort a present from him in exchange for coming. It’s only Roxy to whom Frank can relate, with her kewpie doll face and ability to rant about the greatness of Alice Cooper. The scenes of Frank and Roxy hanging out are the film’s only soft spots, their relationship a gentle but precarious mix of paternal and platonically romantic. Roxy eggs Frank on and keeps him going, masterminding their murderous binge, but she’s rarely seems solid in the way that Frank does. She’s a figure of wish fulfillment, a vessel for what feel like the filmmaker’s direct complaints with the world as well as his fondnesses, a teenage girl who loves  Star Trek  and throws herself at our resistant protagonist, who is hypersensitive about being perceived as a pedophile. Visual inventiveness isn’t Goldthwait’s strong suit as a director, but  God Bless America  does represent a step forward there, with stand-out moments including an overhead shot showing just how close Frank is to his noisy neighbors or a failed attempt at walking away from an explosion, action hero-style, without looking back. Goldthwait is best and most brutal at recreating the worst of TV — an early scene in which the insomniac Frank flips through the channels includes savage and dead-on takes on Fox News,  Jersey Shore -style reality clashes, energy drink commercials,  Jackass  and, yes,  American Idol.  Sure, it’s a line-up that would be enough to make you want to shoot somebody, but also those aren’t the only things on air.  God Bless America  only wants to see the worst in people — in fact actively seeks it out in order to be disgusted, and that feels almost as bad as the behavior the film is critiquing. One of the few characters who’s let off the hook is the boyfriend of Frank’s ex, a cheery, dumb and genuinely well-meaning cop who spots our hero waiting outside his former wife’s house and stops by to say hi. When asked by Roxy whether Frank wants to kill the man, he tells her no, “I want him to suffer.” It’s only a sucker who’d stick around to live life in this film, and that’s too bitter a pill to be swallowed. Follow Alison Willmore on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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REVIEW: God Bless America Chokes to Death on Bobcat Goldthwait’s Nihilism

First Look: Bebe Neuwirth Has Sympathy For the Understudy in The Standbys

It’s a tough life being a Broadway standby — knowing a part backward and forward, exhibiting months, even years of patience while literally waiting in the wings for your chance to play the role you’re backing up for the star of the show. On the bright side, at least now you’d have an entire film telling your story — one for which Movieline is pleased to present a first look ahead of The Standbys world premiere this weekend in New York. Directed by Stephanie Riggs, The Standbys introduces viewers to a few of the performers who’ve made livings — and eventually, in some cases, made names — in some of the most thankless positions in all of theater: Standby and understudy. The documentary opens the Tony Awards Film Series this Saturday at the Paley Center in Manhattan; below, have quick glimpse at the film, featuring the sobering insights of Broadway icon Bebe Neuwirth. Here’s more about The Standbys and this Saturday’s screening; we’ll keep you up to date about a theatrical and/or video release as events warrant: This dramatic documentary takes a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of performers rarely glimpsed by audiences. These performers, known as “standbys,” remain backstage, prepared to go on at a moment’s notice. In this evocative behind-the-scenes documentary, the at times heartbreaking and hilarious lives of Broadway’s understudies and standbys are finally brought into the spotlight. “The Standbys” follows three undiscovered performers for several years through their ups and downs, struggles and triumphs, onstage performances and private lives. When these standbys are finally given the chance of a lifetime, anything can – and does – happen. The film features never-before-heard stories from industry insiders and celebrities who reveal the unimaginable struggles these under-appreciated performers endure as they wait in the wings for their shot at a dream that may never come true. The Standbys screening will be followed by a talk-back panel of Tony Award-winning Broadway stars who got their start as understudies or standbys. [Panelists include Tony Award Winners Katie Finneran and Cady Huffman, Merwin Foard, Ben Crawford, Alena Watters and director Stephanie Riggs.] The Standbys follows actors Ben Crawford (standby for Shrek), Merwin Foard (standby for Gomez in The Addams Family) and up and comer Aléna Watters (standby for Anita in West Side Story). Other interviewees include: Jerry Zaks, Bebe Neuwirth, Brian D’Arcy James, Cheyenne Jackson, Sutton Foster, David Hyde Pierce, Katie Finneran, Nelle Nugent, Michael Riedel, Zachary Quinto.

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First Look: Bebe Neuwirth Has Sympathy For the Understudy in The Standbys

Starmageddon: Clooney’s Obama Fundraiser Gets a Name

Los Angeles traffic is famous for getting rotten when big happenings hit town, but George Clooney ‘s fundraising bash for President Obama promises to make the Friday commute even more dreadful. And so, in the grand tradition of traffic-paralyzing presidential visits of the past (or: Obama-jams!) and 2011’s infamous “Carmageddon” (remember that?), POTUS’s social visit tomorrow to Clooney’s canyon pad — for a $40,000-a-plate shindig expected to raise $15 million for the Obama re-election campaign — has a name: Starmageddon . “Obama at George Clooney’s house: Neighbors brace for starmageddon” screamed a headline yesterday in the Los Angeles Daily News/Silicon Valley Mercury News ), kicking off a catchword frenzy. The visit to Clooney’s Studio City home marks the president’s first non-studio trip to the Valley, notes the paper. As for the traffic madness that may or may not ensue, Los Angelenos with places to be should avoid the following places on Friday evening: LAX, where Obama lands around 6pm; Studio City/Laurel Canyon north of Ventura Blvd., where Clooney’s party will have street closures in effect from 5pm to 8pm; and Beverly Hills later that night, where the President is reportedly staying. And if you’re lucky enough to live close to Clooney, be prepared to show I.D. to access your own home from 8pm to 10pm that night. “Starmageddon” is a fitting name for the star-studded Hollywood-meets-Washington affair — Clooney and Obama, joining forces for the future of America. If there was an asteroid hurtling toward earth, is there any question that these two could save us all? I mean, obviously. Then again: I can’t be the only one imagining Clooney dancing animal crackers up and down Obama’s belly as the plaintive wailing of Steven Tyler fills the air. (Do you think it’s possible that anyone else in the world will be doing this very same thing at the very same moment tomorrow night?)

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Starmageddon: Clooney’s Obama Fundraiser Gets a Name

Michelle Obama Fashion Watch: First Lady Shines at White House Correspondents’ Dinner

President Barack Obama joked at the White House Correspondents’ dinner this weekend that an alarming percentage of poll respondents prefer his better half. Self-deprecation aside, First Lady Michelle Obama more than holds her own, and not just when it comes to besting Ellen at pushups or being a fashion icon. For Saturday’s Hollywood-meets-Washington bash, President Obama’s wife, 48, looked regal yet flirty in a strapless paisley organza gown by Naemm Khan: The mother of two accentuated the dress by wearing her hair in loose, tousled waves, accessorized with gold hoop earrings. As always, the end result was stunning. Mrs. Obama cracked up sitting next to the night’s host Jimmy Kimmel , who roasted the President and scores of other A-list attendees during a 25-minute speech. The night’s guests included George Clooney, Reese Witherspoon, Kim Kardashian, Eva Longoria, Anna Paquin, Steven Spielberg, Tony Romo, Candice Crawford, Matthew Morrison, Kate Hudson, Rick Santorum and Lindsay Lohan . What do you think of Michelle Obama’s dress? [Photo: WENN.com]

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Michelle Obama Fashion Watch: First Lady Shines at White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Emma Roberts Short Shorts of the Day

If your dad was Eric Roberts, you’d hate yourself too….you know growing up with all that shame….It’s almost a miracle that this bitch can get enough energy to rip lines of heroin to medicate herself enough to get out of the house and do music festivals with her friends in their jacked up hipster denim shorts…channelling an era before Eric Roberts was such a failure/joke in the industry that she had to walk around in shame about….I mean I guess you could say at least she had Julia Roberts….or as she called her Auntie Stupid Face who lied to the world the day she agreed to be in a movie called Pretty Woman cuz she’s not pretty at all….but that’s no role model…that’s a lie and just more realization at a young age that we are doomed….making her apathetic, depressing looking hipster hustle all that more authentic…something these people strive for…you know it’s way more marketable socially than “I’m just a rich girl with famous academy award winning relatives in the industry”….milk that torment child…..milk it….while I fantasize about milking your clit like a thirsty baby calf on it’s mother cow’s udder. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK

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Emma Roberts Short Shorts of the Day

Stacy Keibler’s Fit Body in a Sports Bra of the Day

Here’s George Clooney’s pussy that he may or may not actually have sex with because he’s possibly homosexual….you know the kind who doesn’t want to be known as homosexual….because it will make 90 percent of his women fans who fantasize about being the one to tame him, cuz girls love a challenge and think they have what it takes to make any guy settle, relatively uninterested in him, making him way less money….in a Rock Hudson or Steve McQueen wait til they die of AIDS before people need to deal with truth….so he uses hot bitches you want to fuck and Steve-O gets to fuck when he is done with them before dumping them…..making them really feel like they lost the lottery and entered hell….like this Stacy Keibler wrestler, who probably shares a publicist with him, who needed this to keep her around another year, thanks to making the bad decision of dancing with the stars, a nail generally straight in the coffin of your career that was already hardly a career to being with, hence why you were doing Dancing with the Stars in the first place, you know cuz being a pro wrestler for 2 years, was lucrative but where do you really go from there….kinda thing that doesn’t matter cuz she has legs I want to wear as a scarf and a pussy I want to wear as a mouth warmer….you know when Clooney is done making hr fuck him up the ass with a strap in exchange for exposure….I like my bitches at rock bottom….It is more effective.

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Stacy Keibler’s Fit Body in a Sports Bra of the Day

Stacy Keibler’s Hotness Is Back For Men’s Fitness

Obviously Stacy Keibler has been all over the celebrity circuit over the last few months, that’s what banging George Clooney will do for a career, but it’s nice to see her back at work. Here she is on the cover of Men’s Fitness magazine doing that thing where she makes my genitals move without anything touching them. Tingly. I’m not sure why she decided to wear such a big bikini, I guess it costs more to get her into a thong now, but I like it.

Dick Clark: A Big-Screen Tribute

The television pioneer’s legacy was honored in several films, including ‘Grease’ and ‘Hairspray.’ By Kevin P. Sullivan Dick Clark at the 1999 Golden Globe Awards Photo: Chris Haston/ Getty Images Dick Clark, who died early Wednesday morning (April 18) from a heart attack at the age of 82, was a television pioneer. But Clark’s influence reached far beyond “American Bandstand” and onto the silver screen as well. His legacy was honored, imitated and questioned in many films throughout his lifetime. Here are five of Dick Clark’s most memorable movie moments. The Golden Globe Awards For years, Dick Clark Productions produced the yearly awards show for film and television. The Globes, awarded by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, were seen as the earliest indication of which films would win at the Academy Awards. Clark worked as an announcer for the ceremony and would occasionally appear backstage. “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” Clark appeared in the interview segments of George Clooney’s directorial debut, “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,” a supposed biography of game-show producer Chuck Barris. The two TV legends worked at ABC during the same period. Clark was working on “American Bandstand” while Barris worked as a standards-and-practices executive. “Grease” Since the debut of perhaps Clarks’ most iconic work with “American Bandstand,” films have featured similar dance programs as either homage or parody. The film version of “Grease” featured a dance contest and a similar format called “National Bandstand.” “Hairspray” Similarly in another John Travolta film, “The Corny Collins Shows” riffed on the television staple. In that film, James Marsden played a show host named Corny Collins, who hosted a “Bandstand”-type show that feature a segregated cast of teen dancers. “Bowling for Columbine” Michael Moore targeted Clark for his documentary on gun violence. In “Bowling for Columbine,” Moore sought an interview with Clark because the son of an employee at one of Clark’s restaurants killed a classmate. Moore connected the poor working conditions and the low pay at Clark’s restaurant to some of the factors behind the shooting. Related Photos Dick Clark: A Pop-Culture Icon

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Dick Clark: A Big-Screen Tribute

Titanic and 9 Other Movies Some Folks Don’t Know Are Based on Real Events

James Cameron ’s Titanic is a stunningly realistic portrayal of a sinking ship , but apparently it just got more real for at least a handful of people. According to some tweets that are making the rounds, some younger Americans had no idea until now that the “unsinkable” cruise liner existed and did in fact hit an iceberg and sink in the Atlantic 100 years ago. What? They didn’t watch Downton Abbey and put two and two together either? (Note: Just like the deceased would-be heirs of Downton, Jack and Rose are fictional. Though something tells us many of the Titanic’s passengers probably had acting abilities comparable to Billy Zane’s.) Instead of ridiculing these youths for being ignorant of a fairly remarkable historic event and complaining about Idiocracy becoming more factual each day, let’s turn this into a teaching moment. Here are nine other films that depict a very real thing that happened in human history: Pearl Harbor In case the reference didn’t register at the time, there was a real Day of Infamy behind those insipid comments on Twitter a year ago about the Japanese earthquake and tsunami being payback for Pearl Harbor. Those jerks weren’t talking about the Ben Affleck movie, but a real military strike that happened. The movie that tells the sobering story of the naval base attack in 1941, in which 2,402 Americans were killed, was directed by Michael Bay (which seems like a joke but is true). Apollo 13 The three-man crew on the Apollo 13 mission really did spend four bleak days in their spacecraft after an oxygen tank exploded on the service module. What had been planned as the third manned moon landing instead became a harrowing effort to make it back to Earth safely. The drama captivated the nation on television in 1970, a time before the Internet. The Perfect Storm Before George Clooney and his perfectly disheveled beard hairs set sail in 2000, the dangerous storm that swept away the Andrea Gail fishing vessel really occurred, serving as the basis for the ill-fated film of the same name. Some of the facts in the movie have been disputed, but the 1991 nor’easter/hurricane did in fact collide in what many referred to as “the perfect storm.” The Killing Fields The mass killings by the Khmer Rouge in the mid- to late 1970s might be difficult for even Cambodian youths to fathom, but the story of journalists Dith Pran and Sydney Schanberg was very real. The two were covering the fall of the capital to the regime, and at the time, many journalists managed to flee. Pran was stranded but ended up escaping the death camps. He coined the phrase “killing fields,” the mass grave sites of which there are a mind-boggling 20,000. Alive A chartered flight really did crash in the Andes in 1972, and survivors stayed alive by eating the flesh of dead passengers. Sixteen of them were rescued two months later when Uruguayans Nando Parrado (played in the film by Ethan Hawke) and Roberto Canessa climbed through the mountains for 10 days to seek help. All the President’s Men Wondering where the “-gate” suffix originated? Decades before Weinergate, a little scandal called Watergate happened, and journalists Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein were there to reveal the truth behind the wrongdoing and President Nixon’s involvement in it. The film is an adaptation of the reporters’ book, which was based on their investigative reporting in an era before “truthiness.” Silkwood Another pop culture reference is about to make sense to many: A “Silkwood shower” isn’t just something germophobes want to take after they get off the subway. It’s a term derived from a scene in which plutonium plant worker Karen Silkwood (Meryl Streep) is, horrifically, contaminated with radiation. Silkwood really did die mysteriously as she planned to reveal wrongdoing at the plant in the mid-’70s. GoodFellas Based on the book Wiseguy by Nicholas Pileggi, GoodFellas recounts the dirty deeds of Henry Hill and Co. Hill, who became an FBI informant, was a member of the Lucchese crime family and was involved in the also-real Lufthansa heist, among other crimes. Hill’s still out there somewhere, being forced to eat “egg noodles and ketchup” instead of spaghetti with marinara. United 93 After terrorists hijacked United Flight 93 on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, passengers and crew learned of the strikes on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Those aboard refused to let the plane hit its intended target, likely a government building in Washington, D.C., and planned to storm the cockpit. Some liberties were taken regarding whether they successfully entered the cockpit, but unless you believe conspiracy theorists, the plane did crash in a field in Pennsylvania.

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Titanic and 9 Other Movies Some Folks Don’t Know Are Based on Real Events