THG has a very interesting relationship with The Bachelor. It’s neither love-hate, nor unbridled love, nor unfiltered hate. It’s hard to put our finger on. What we do know is this. For years, we’ve harped on what a d!ck Brad Womack is for ditching both DeAnna Pappas and Jenni Croft on the finale. We’ve also harped on what contrived nonsense this show is. That’s what makes Brad’s return this season so oddly compelling: Its genuineness. THE LUCKY 30 : One of these women will become Mrs. Brad Womack. Or two of them will be dumped on the season finale. You never know with Brad! For all the scripted scenes, cue cards, bogus promos and manufactured drama, Brad bailing on both Season 11 finalists was one of the franchise’s best moments. He did what he felt was right, fallout be damned. Now he’s back, and for the right reasons too. Unlike that stiff Jake Pavelka, you can tell it’s not about the fame. Will he pick someone this time? Will the women trust him? For once, The Bachelor may not even need a fake scandal. An actual, real story line has written itself. Follow the jump for THG’s patented +/- recap of all the action! This is all we’re going to say about it for now, but The Bachelor spoilers we know put some events from the season premiere in an interesting light. Plus 9 . Jenni, who is married, and DeAnna, who is engaged, return for a segment designed to give Brad “closure.” Minus 14 for a stunt designed just for viewers. Even though it’s technically wrong (there are 30 girls, not 25!), Plus 8 for this: “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “24 women.” “24 women who?” “Exactly.” Brad Womack 2.0 puts on his serious face. Chantal O’Brien is the girl who slaps Brad, courtesy of “every woman in America,” as she steps out of the limo. Plus 3 for the look on his face afterward. Minus 11 , though, because the women didn’t even know Brad would be The Bachelor , and she was obviously told to do this so ABC could run the promo. Ashley Spivey is the recipient of the first impression rose. Solid choice, Brad, we must say. She could very well go on to be this year’s Jenni Croft. Plus 5 . Alli Travis bends over and asks what he thinks of her ass. You know, ’cause her ex wanted a girl with a more petite ass. Have people no shame?! Minus 4 . My, Chris Harrison is looking even more dapper in his pimpdom. Plus 5 . Raichel Goodyear puts on a rubber glove. Sadly, this is not to conduct a body cavity search. She’s a cosmetologist/esthetician. Brad gets waxed. Plus 2 . Sarah Powell makes Brad get down on one knee and … repeat what she tells him to say. These producers women really thought of everything. Minus 3 . You know 3-4 of these women will be on Bachelor Pad come July. Plus 4 . TOTAL: +4. ROSE RECIPIENTS: Alli Travis, Ashley Hebert, Ashley Spivey, Britt Billmaier, Chantal O’Brien , Emily Maynard, Jackie Gordon, Keltie Colleen, Kim Coon, Lindsay Hill, Lisa Morrisey, Madison Garton, Marissa May, Meghan Merritt, Melissa Schreiber, Michelle Money, Raichel Goodyear, Sarah Powell, Shawntel Newton, Stacey Queripel .
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The Bachelor Season Premiere Recap: Brad Womack Attacked, Swooned Over, Seeking Closure
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