Florida model and internet celebrity or more importantly internet crush who I write dirty things to and who ignores me even after I hitched a ride to Florida to stalk her…because I guess she doesn’t grasp love and passion or maybe she’s just not into masked obese men who don’t shower but who rock soiled sweat pants harder than a homeless man… Madison Murray had these amazing pics taken of her shot by The Head Huntr or as I like to call him…the enemy who gets my girlfriend who doesn’t know she’s my girlfriend half naked….but I’m glad he does because she doesn’t answer my calls…or screams outside her apartment…but she should…love can only be ignored so long before it gets confused for being creepy…
Kids. They say the darndest things, whether they’re aware of it or not. Even when they’re not asked to say all the bad words they know, the small humans who live with us come up with some true gems, day in and day out. Equally hilarious? Some of the parents who relay these experiences. We’re grateful for children and the joy they bring to our lives, and equally appreciative of the effort parents put in (as well as the technology that connects us). If it weren’t for Twitter, moms and dads would obviously get by just fine, but it’s much easier these days to connect with others to commiserate or spread the love. Click below to laugh/cry along with them in 140 characters or less. 25 Hilarious Tweets That Sum Up Parenting Open Slideshow 1. Sex Ed That would be an interesting item on the course curriculum. View As List 1. Sex Ed That would be an interesting item on the course curriculum. 2. Frozen in Hell “Let It Go” is definitely playing on repeat. 3. PARK! Great moments in safe words. 4. Just Pretending? [nods] 5. 82 Percent That may be conservative. 6. Fingers Smell Like … … you can guess, and if you’re a parent, relate. 7. Circle the Block a Few Times? If only … 8. Close Enough Eh, clothes are clothes. 9. Free Cats and Dogs! Would be so cool. 10. You Don’t Want to Know You really don’t. 11. I’ll Tell on You They start early. 12. Fetch! You know you do it. 13. Were You Born With Those? It’s a fair question. 14. RRP5D Sounds about right. 15. Cheap Babysitter Next time you complain about your cable bill, just consider the real potential. 16. Sticks or … They do sound similar. 17. Suave 2 in 1 Hey, whatever works. 18. Can You Skip That? If only. 19. Used Food Ick. Who wants that. 20. Tolerance Must be taught early. 21. Rabies Shares similar symptoms with fatigue. 22. Whine and Wine Oh, how those words are intertwined. 23. Dad of the Year It’s a go-to. 24. Consensual Massage Lessons all kids must understand. 25. Chapstick 2, Vegetables 0 For those keeping score.
Miley Cyrus has moved past Twerking and on to spitting. A few days after hurling some saliva-laden water all over concert concert goers in Milwaukee, Cyrus didn’t just commit the same act in Atlanta last night. She proudly put it on display for all to enjoy! “#fuckyeahatlanta,” Miley captioned the image above, with props needed to be given for the photographer’s timing and clarity. Cyrus, meanwhile, is still on her Bangerz Tour , but now has a few days off before showering more fans with her spit. She plays in Montreal on Saturday; then in Toronto on Monday; then she’s back in the States and off to New England next week. As gross as some may find her water-spewing antics, it’s hard to get too worked up about them when compared to such stunts as going down on a Bill Clinton impersonator . Here’s a look at a handful of other shocking Miley moments: 11 Shocking Miley Cyrus Moments Open Slideshow 1. Miley Cyrus Spits on Audience Miley Cyrus spit on concert goers in this footage. We hope they all went home and took some showers. View As List 1. Miley Cyrus Spits on Audience Miley Cyrus spit on concert goers in this footage. We hope they all went home and took some showers. 2. Miley Cyrus Sex Toy Fun Miley Cyrus and her sex toy are making news. Because of course they are. 3. Miley Cyrus Kisses Fan Miley Cyrus doesn’t just kiss a fan in this video. She totally makes out with a female concert goer! 4. Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry Make Out Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry make out in concert. This is pretty much the best moment. 5. Miley Cyrus Fakes Oral Sex on Pretend Bill Clinton Miley Cyrus pretends to give oral sex to someone pretending to be Bill Clinton during this “Bangerz” tour stop. It’s unclear why. 6. Miley Cyrus Eats Fan’s Thong Miley Cyrus put a thong in her mouth during a stop on her Bangerz tour. We wish this was being made up. 7. Miley Cyrus, Cara Delevingne Kiss It seems Miley Cyrus doesn’t just lick sledge hammers and inanimate objects. She licks Cara Delevingne, too. 8. Miley Cyrus Grinds with Women Miley Cyrus gets down with some women in this video from a Britney Spears concert. Check out the footage now. 9. Miley Cyrus: Twerking on Santa! Miley Cyrus Twerks on Santa in this video. The performance is taking place in Los Angeles at the Jingle Ball. 10. Miley Cyrus Penis Underwear Miley Cyrus reveals some classy underwear in this new video from LOVE Magazine. Love it, indeed. You know you do. 11. Miley Cyrus EMA Performance, Joint Smoking Miley Cyrus performs on the European Music Awards in this video. Then, she smokes a joint on stage.
Firefighters are having a terrific week. First, this guy proposed to his girlfriend as part of a fake fire drill , earning cheers from a stunned, captive audience. Then, one of these heroes rescued a construction worker yesterday from a five-alarm fire in Houson, with the seriously incredible footage capture on video camera for all to gawk over. Watch now to see how calm the worker appears to remain… how he impressively jumps down a floor… how the girl holding the camera phone reacts… and how the BUILDING STARTS TO COLLAPSE just moments after he reaches safety. Amazing. Firefighter Rescues Construction Worker
Firefighters are having a terrific week. First, this guy proposed to his girlfriend as part of a fake fire drill , earning cheers from a stunned, captive audience. Then, one of these heroes rescued a construction worker yesterday from a five-alarm fire in Houson, with the seriously incredible footage capture on video camera for all to gawk over. Watch now to see how calm the worker appears to remain… how he impressively jumps down a floor… how the girl holding the camera phone reacts… and how the BUILDING STARTS TO COLLAPSE just moments after he reaches safety. Amazing. Firefighter Rescues Construction Worker
Clearly he wasn’t using that anger management book anyway… Man Hits Girlfriend With Anger Management Workbook Forget anger management classes, these two need Iyanla to fix their lives. According to NY Daily News: Spartanburg County deputies have arrested a man who they say hit his girlfriend with a workbook from his anger management class during an argument, and she cut his arm with a box cutter. A sheriff’s office incident report said 22-year-old Sheelah Thompson and her 23-year-old boyfriend Tyler Ford were fighting about their relationship Monday night at their Spartanburg apartment when Ford rolled up the book and hit his girlfriend on the cheek. Deputies say Ford had a deep cut on his arm. Thompson told an officer she cut her boyfriend because he tried to strangle her. Ford told a deputy his girlfriend cut him because she was angry after he hit her with the book. Both were charged with criminal domestic violence. Thank God this domestic dispute didn’t end with someone in a pine box.
Wtf? Woman Tricked People Into Believing She Was Pregnant With Quintuplets How much baby formula and diapers did she think she would get before the jig was up? According to CTV News: A Quebec woman convinced an entire town she was pregnant with quintuplets — but she wasn’t. The woman had told her boyfriend she was pregnant about a month after they met on an online dating site. At first, she said she was expecting twins. Then it changed to triplets and then quadruplets. The community of Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu rallied around the expectant couple and the expecting father created a Facebook page to keep family and community members up to date. Geneviève Laflamme, a mother of triplets herself, befriended the future mother. Laflamme says she began to suspect something wasn’t right when she noticed holes in the woman’s story. Then, a week before the woman’s purported due date, she told Laflamme she had undergone another ultrasound that revealed there were actually five babies inside her. Laflamme didn’t buy it. But Facebook followers of the mother showered the couple with gifts and offers of help.The whole story fell apart Tuesday when the woman’s boyfriend took her to hospital for her delivery at 34 weeks. A nurse took Paul aside and informed him his girlfriend was not pregnant at all and had either faked or imagined the whole thing. The woman is currently undergoing a psychiatric evaluation, which is why CTV News has decided not to identify her. It’s good she’s getting her head examined. Her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top. Facebook
Hi haters? Karrueche Bonds With Drake’s Ex As Chris Brown Launches Modeling Agency Well this is interesting. It appears that even from behind bars Breezy continues to be quite enterprising. The embattled superstar just launched a modeling agency. The ladies showed off a few behind the scenes shots from their first photoshoot But do you think Karrueche was impressed? She didn’t appear to be fazed as she had a photoshoot of her own with none other than Drake’s “Hold On We’re Coming Home” video vixen ex-girlfriend Ashley Moore . And they made sure to let the world — and their exes know they ain’t got no worries!!! Sorry but how do you start a modeling agency right after breaking up with your girlfriend who is a MODEL? We might have to ride with Karrueche on this one. Hit the flip for more shots of Ashley and Karrueche
Really?? Woman Arrested After She Called The Police On Her Own Drug Dealer She must have been super high when she made that call… According to The Tennessean: A Murfreesboro woman was arrested after she called police to report that she lost money on a drug deal, according to reports filed with the Police Department. Chrissie Ann Solis, 35, of Bradyville Pike, was arrested Thursday for filing a false report and criminal conspiracy by Officer Thomas B. Troutman. The arrest occurred after Solis called MPD to report a theft from her home. She said a friend visited her home and she had $140 sitting on her kitchen table, Troutman reported. “She stated she went to the bathroom and when she came out she noticed (the visitor) and her money were gone,” Troutman said. Solis told the officer where the visitor lives and Troutman made contact with the subject and his girlfriend. Troutman ran a routine warrants check and found the girlfriend, Tiffany Waller, 30, of Mercury Boulevard was wanted for several charges. She was placed under arrest. “Before she was transported, she gave me consent to look in her phone,” Troutman said. “In her texts, it showed where Ms. Solis asked Ms. Waller to get her 20 Loritab (pills) for $7 a piece, which turns out to be $140.” Waller told Troutman Solis gave her the money to get the pills, but then the dealer stole the money from her. She also said she fully intended to pay Solis back. Waller was also arrested and charged with criminal impersonation, robbery and violation of probation. SMH. Shutterstock
