Irina Shayk inspires me to get my fitness game on, unfortunately, every time I go to the gym, the girls who look like Irina Shayk are in hiding, and the girls who look like Roseanne, Oprah, or really any obeses disgusting pile of shit, covered in sweat, dying for a donut, or an ice cream you know she’s going to get after the work out, cuz she’s earned it…you know, disgusting fat chick shit…so I’ll just stare at Shayk’s intagram instead…it’s less work this way.
Irina Shayk inspires me to get my fitness game on, unfortunately, every time I go to the gym, the girls who look like Irina Shayk are in hiding, and the girls who look like Roseanne, Oprah, or really any obeses disgusting pile of shit, covered in sweat, dying for a donut, or an ice cream you know she’s going to get after the work out, cuz she’s earned it…you know, disgusting fat chick shit…so I’ll just stare at Shayk’s intagram instead…it’s less work this way.
Now that America has passed laws that prevent people from coming together as a group to protest , because having people come together as a group to protest things, especially government initiated things, is something the government doesn’t want you doing, so they want the authority to lock you up if you do, seems pretty fair, I mean historically the government always knows what is best for us. They always have our best interest in mind. They aren’t owned and operated by big businesses, and they don’t pass laws like cigarette and oil and corn and all the other crazy shit they do because it kills us, they do it for our own good…so don’t protest that shit… What better way to celebrate that law then to show how cops handle protestors in Austria….it’s kinda horrible, kinda funny, but better than when shit in Austria was run by Nazi Germany…right? FREEDOM!!
Treasury Secretary Says Federal Bailout Funds Won’t Be Used For Detroit The federal government has made it clear that they have no intention of extending a monetary olive branch to the state of Detroit in the midst of their bankruptcy woes. Despite the fact that the government famously bailed out the “Too Big To Fail” banks and the auto industry during the height of the most recent U.S. recession back in 2010, Treasury Secretary Jack Lew says Detroit is on their own this time. Think Progress On CNN’s State of the Union show on Sunday, Treasury Secretary Jack Lew was firm in saying that there will be no federal bailout for the city of Detroit, which is going through the largest city bankruptcy in America’s history. While claiming that the administration “stand[s] by Detroit,” Lew said, “I think the issues Detroit has in terms of problems with its creditors it’s going to have to work out with its creditors.” He said that it has “serious financial problems” that have “been a long time in the making,” and that the federal government will only offer “the kinds of normal programs the federal government has” such as the Treasury Department making funds available to take down blighted properties. When host Candy Crowley asked why the government offered bailouts for big banks and the auto industry but isn’t offering one here, Lew responded, “I think the situation we had in 2009 and 2010 was unique and something that hopefully we will never see again.” We think this is pretty shady, especially considering the fact that the government all but forced-fed some of the banks bailout money during the financial crisis/recession when they adamantly refused. It will also be interesting to see exactly what these “federal programs already in place” to assist Detroit consist of. What’s your take on this, Bossip fam? Continue reading →
This is amazing…Coco put this video of her on that surf gym machine at some point last week and it went viral…because let’s face it, it’s fucking ridiculous and not just because putting fat girls in the gym is good comedy, you know seeing how they deal with the whole fitness and breaking a sweat thing, but because this surf simulator is so erotic…especially in booty shorts…I feel like I am at the circus…the big round ass stripper circus…a circus that doesn’t exist but I wish existed because if it did…the world would be a better, at least better entertained place…and instead of focusing on legal cases in Florida that the government is using to rally the nation to fight gun laws, or distract from real issues they are trying to distract you from…when I think a better thing to be passionate about is whatever the fuck is going on in here….
Lil Twist was allegedly living the high life early this morning when he was pulled over by police behind the wheel of Justin Bieber’s fancy car. As previously reported, Lil Twist was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving when officers spotted his vehicle speeding around 3:30 a.m. in Calabasas. But TMZ now claims the 20-year old rapper was booked for smoking marijuana – and was even holding a lit joint when first approached by the cops. What a moron. Lil Twist spent about eight hours in custody and had nothing to say upon his release. But we have something to say, dammit! Justin: if you really wanna turn your life around and stick with Selena Gomez this time around, it’s time to cut yourself free from this dangerous baggage. Don’t you agree, Beliebers? What do you think JB should do about Lil Twist? Stand by him! Ditch him! View Poll »
Amanda Seyfried doesn’t believe in trusting her heart. When considering whether or not she has a future with a member of the opposite sex, the actress tells the latest issue of Elle : “Everybody I’ve dated I’ve been sexually attracted to immediately. Sparks don’t grow – your vagina doesn’t become more inclined to wanting someone just because you’re around them.” Well… alright then! Seyfried has sex on the mind these days because she is starring as Linda Lovelace in Lovelace (watch the Lovelace trailer now!), a biopic of the famous porn star. “I read the script and I was like, ‘Wow, this is the riskiest thing that’s happening [in Hollywood] right now,'” she says of the part. “The first thing you think about is that it could have ruined my career. At the same time, I was like, ‘This is my chance to show them, to show the industry, to be recognized.'” Lovelace hits theaters on August 9 and the August issue of Elle arrives on newsstands July 23. We may need to buy it.
When I wrote about the Sharknado trailer this week, I said there was no was no way on earth I’d be watching this cinematic masterpiece. Well, as I’m sure it will with plenty of others, curiosity got the best of me. Even though I’ve watched it and am writing about it, I’m still not quite sure if it was a good idea. Let’s go ahead and tackle the incredibly deep, complex plot of Sharknado . See, there are sharks, and these sharks find themselves sucked up into a hurricane and the subsequent tornados the hurricane spawns. And then… nope, that’s it. That is the entire plot. Wait, there was an early scene in which we are party to an illegal shark fin poaching operation. Complete with man of presumable Asian descent there to purchase said shark fins. At first I thought, oh, this might be a statement on the awfulness of shark fin harvesting. No. Apparently that was just the best way the writers could think of launching into this story. How on earth can this be anything but spectacular? Well for one, the acting. Ian Ziering tries so hard. So, so hard. It’s like he has taken all the acting energy that he hasn’t been using in the years since 90210 and put it into this film. Amazingly enough, that doesn’t equate to much. Granted he was playing Fin, a surfing bar owner whose ex-wife and children seem to hate who ends up being the rappelling hero of our shark tale. His ex-wife? Oh that’s Tara Reid. The greatest thing she added was her first scene in which she stood on a staircase next to a framed picture of herself. Who has framed pictures of just themselves? It wasn’t her at some type of natural wonder, nope. It appears as if Tara Reid ‘s character went to the Glamour Shots knock-off and got her a pretty picture. So weird. Then there’s Fin’s children. His daughter hates him. Like legit, hates him. While there is a shark swimming around the her living room eating her mother’s boyfriend (who she apparently adores), she just scowls. Call me crazy, I’d be freaking out, but then again I’ve never been in a situation in which there was a shark swimming around my living room eating people, so I guess I can’t be too sure of my reaction. Fin’s son is apparently in the Coast Guard. In flight school I guess. No one has told his father this because the new boyfriend thinks it isn’t any of his business anymore. Who does this new boyfriend think he is? Frankly, he deserved to be eaten by a living room shark. Good riddance. Of course there is also a best friend. Best friend was one of the first victims of the shark invasion but instead of being literally gulped by the shark like one of the poor shark poachers in the first scene (no, seriously – do sharks inhale their prey like that? It looked like Joey Chestnut taking down 69 hot dogs on July 4th) he was merely nibbled upon. When in the midst of a sharkpocalypse what self-respecting shark nibbles? Come on, get it together shark. Sharknado Trailer (Official) Rounding out this rag tag crew is the doe-eyed barmaid who for some reason feels it necessary to literally throw herself at her boss while standing behind the bar during business hours while the bar patrons look on. To say this love interest angle (I’m assuming that’s what they were going for) fell flat is on understatement of epic proportions. One of those bar patrons is none other than the dad from Home Alone , John Heard. He is mainly a non-player until his shining moment as he is being actively consumed by a shark and he says, in a very even tone of voice, “Ow, no. Get off of me.” Again, I haven’t been eaten by a shark so I can’t assume to know my reaction but I’d hope there’d be at least a little bit of screaming. Some honorable mentions have to go out to the small roles in this delightful film. To just get an idea of their incredible contributions let’s look at some of their inspired dialogue: “That’s Johnni with an ‘i’.” — Weather reporter in the middle of the sharknado right before she meets her bloody end. “$15K a year, no benefits, and screaming kids!” — Bus driver as he is being hoisted from bus to higher ground. “My mom always told me Hollywood would kill me.” — Same bus driver who just escaped a shark attack only to be drilled into the ground by flying pieces of the Hollywood sign. “The government knows when I pee and my favorite kind of cheese. Pepperjack.” – Gas station attendant with a very topical concern of the government’s knowledge of our private lives. Not dialogue, but special shout out to the man being eaten by one shark only to have another fall from the sky and land on his head. For all the incredible performances given by actors, it would have meant nothing without the real stars, the sharks. Oh, this group of sharks gave a performance of the ages. They are met at every turn by cars trying to drive over them as they swim by on seemingly dry land. They are just out for a leisurely flight through Southern California when all of a sudden there’s Ian Ziering with a chainsaw. All they want is to take a nice cool dip in a pool, is it their fault that people have managed to ignore ‘Johnni with an ‘i'” and the people screaming, and the MASSIVE TORNADO FILLED WITH SHARKS and kept on swimming? In the end, that is the truly amazing aspect of Sharknado . When there is a regular tornado, most people head indoors. Apparently the people of Los Angeles just laugh in the face of Mother Nature. Well, joke’s on them because Mother Nature sent her sharks to put them in their place. See if they ignore her again! Ha! Of course it would be some sort of crime if I didn’t mention the visual effects. They were about as awful as one could imagine. There, I’ve mentioned them. No, that’s not fair. This is a movie about flying sharks and frankly it could be Michael Bay (please god don’t let Michael Bay make a flying shark movie) and it would still look like crap. However, I would like to think someone like Michael Bay , or anyone else really, would give a second thought to the physics involved in a storm like this. It’s like the makers of Sharknado have never, ever seen a body of water. Water does not just randomly, in the middle of a place with zero water one second create a monsoon type wave the next. It just doesn’t happen! Nor does a car just spontaneously combust just because it’s leaking a bit of gas. Out of everything wrong with this movie, this puzzled me the most. For all it’s faults, and there are many, I actually enjoyed Sharknado . I don’t really know how as it quite possibly was the dumbest thing I have ever watched, but I did. The filmmakers obviously cared very little about actual story but when your story is about a tornado filled with sharks, does it really matter how much it builds on that idea? Congrats to SyFy though. Because of their big ol’ balls in putting it on air in the first place, they surely have a hit with Sharknado that people will talk and laugh about for at least a couple days. Bravo, SyFy and Sharknado!
I don’t watch Dexter, I know it’s all the fucking rage, people are naming their kids and their dogs after the show, but I’m just not into commitment that lasts 8 seasons…or more…that I tune into week after week…it seems like a scam, maybe even a trap designed to prevent me from living my own life, but rather to keep me inside my house, numb to all the corruption the government is pulling off… So I’ve never heard of Aimee Garcia, but apparently, the Dexter fans are fucking excited that she’s finally got naked…like a non nude teen model from the late 90s, finally showing her pussy, after years off being a member of her site, it’s happened…and unfortunately it was badly lit and uneventful…but it still fucking happened… I will say, that I appreciate that TV is going down the sleazy route, the 90s made me think I’d never get my own show, because anything I’d right would involve at least one interracial midget sex scene with real sex to make it more authentic…and by the looks of cable..it looks like they may beat me to it…which is okay, I’m too lazy for success and riches.
