The gang invented a new means of extracting grenades, Deena revealed her inner freak, Sammi and Ronnie came to blows (again), Snooki bought a stripper pole and so much more in an epic night of Jersey Shore debauchery. Just when you think they can’t outdo themselves once again … THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night’s installment of the MTV show, as always, in its trademark +/- recap below: SOUND THE ALARM: Vinny rescues The Situation. It’s more like a Grenade Horn, but the Grenade Whistle is a fitting prop for a group of guys so dedicated to extracting the less-attractive females. Plus 8 . Of course, they could simply not bring said females back home, so … Minus 7 . Vinny sounds the grenade whistle to rescue Sitch. What are friends for? Plus 4 . The Situation goes upstairs to borrow a condom from Ronnie and lets it slip to Sammi that Ronnie is talking to JWoww. What an instigator. Minus 6 . Snooki and Jenni bring home a couple of bitches. Pomeranians, looks like. Plus 5 . Snooki’s biggest fear after buying a stripper pole: “Wait, is it going to say ‘stripper pole’ on my credit card? Because my dad will f*%king freak.” Yes he still pays the bill. One of many new challenges for her to face on the spinoff. Minus 9 . Vinny, on his new love interest’s family showing up at the house: “What is this, ‘Romeo and Juliet’? The Capulets and the f*%king whatever?” Plus 23 . As JWoww and Roger hit it off, Tom’s no doubt plotting a nude pic release. Minus 3 . ROGER WOOS J-WOWW : She looks pretty smitten, too. Ronnie relaxes on the bed, fully satisfied and low-key, after dumping all of Sam’s possessions on the floor in a fit of rage. This is a stable relationship. Plus 27 . Minus 6 for this awesome exchange, BRO: Sammi: Don’t you touch anybody. Ronnie: I didn’t touch anybody like that. Sammi: I saw it, you f*%king idiot. Ronnie: On who? Sammi: You. Ronnie: On who did I touch like that? Sammi: You tell me, bro. You f*%king did it. But Plus 7 for Ronnie’s retort: “I hope you have a f*%king book for the apology you have to f*%kin’ write me in the morning… cry all you f*%kin’ want, your tears don’t mean s**t to me. Your tears mean d!ck to me, just so you know.” Ron WEEPS to JWoww about wanting to be happy. Get a GRIP dog. Minus 9 . “I don’t get an apology… or I’m sorry, not a hug or nothin’… I get a piece a pizza, not a f*%kin’ protein shake, pizza, of all things… REALLY?!” Really. Plus 3 . PUNCHED, DRUNK: Sammi lets Ronnie have it right in the kisser. Says wise Deena: “Karma’s a b!tch, literally.” Literally, it’s nothing. Minus 9 . Deena lets her freak flag fly pretty hard. She is into some kinky stuff. Salad-tossing, possibly. The Sitch won’t engage in activities with her lips now. Plus 10 . When a girl (JWoww) actually says “get it in” … eh, good for her. Minus only 1 . JWoww should really be in PR with all the spinning she’s doing on this. Plus 6 . The music fades out over the image of Ronnie and Sammi in bed. Man, these two are irritating. The same $h!t, over and over. Miserable people. Minus 11 . At least there was a punch thrown. Maybe they’ll both be indicted soon. Plus 15 . JWoww and Sam make up. For how long? Give it a couple of hours. Minus 8 . TOTAL: +39. SEASON TOTAL: +143.
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Jersey Shore Recap: Sound the Grenade Whistle!
