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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: What Happens In Mexico…

Posted on June 10, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

When the women of  The Real Housewives of Orange County party, they  party . Or at least Vicki does. And she drags Tamra and Lydia along on her whoop-it-up spree. Gretchen doesn’t like it. Things are heating up with the women south of the border! Let’s recap it now with our  THG +/- review! Vicki, Tamra, and Lydia finally arrive at Andale’s. Now maybe Vicki will shut up about whooping it up at Andale’s. Maybe. (Probably not.) Gretchen and Heather are in the back of the limo waiting for the end of the bathroom trip of eternity. Gretchen starts telling Heather the tales Laurie told her about Vicki and Heather doesn’t want to hear it.  Plus 2 . They get out of the limo and into a cab to go back to the resort. Tamra hails her own cab by dancing on top of one and declaring that there’s no better woman to party with than Vicki Gunvalson.   In the limo, Lydia and Tamra tell Vicki they’re blaming her for ditching Heather and Gretchen. Then there’s talk of bunions.  Minus 8 . The three of them go in to Heather’s room to apologize but Heather’s not having it. Neither is Gretchen. Tamra can’t stop laughing which just makes Gretchen and Heather more angry. She asks Tamra how Tamra could just run off like that and Tamra points at Vicki. Buzz kill.  Minus 20.  But they kind of deserved it for ditching the girls.  Back in Tamra’s room, Vicki laughs that her “plan” worked! And then she pees Tamra’s bed.  Minus 50. May clearer heads–and cleaner sheets–prevail the next day.  The ladies meet in the lobby and plan to go see the town. Gretchen thanks Vicki for showing up at their rendezvous and Vicki keeps walking right out the door and straight to the limo.  Minus 12 . Heather and Lydia decide to skip the penis straws in their mimosas. Lydia asks if they’re all good about last night. Heather says she’s not happy and was embarrassed and everything felt really sad. But she’s trying to move on in the spirit of having a good weekend.  Plus 10 . After watching a baby bull fight a matador, the women have regrouped themselves in the limo. Lydia, Vicki, and Tamra on one end and Heather and Gretchen on another. The trio recounts their fun from the following night and Heather chimes in that they didn’t get that fun, so that’s a bummer for them.  There’s cat fighting in the limo and Lydia calls Gretchen “negative.” With the desire for everything to be so positive all the time are we sure Lydia doesn’t take hits of her mom’s bong when Grandma’s not looking?  Gretchen starts to cry and Tamra tries to console her. Then Vicki gets angry.  Minus 6. Once they’re back at the resort, Vicki and Lydia head down to sit by the pool. Tamra and Heather join them and Gretchen follows shortly after bearing gifts.  Plus 10 . Vicki mocks the fact that there are Gretchen Christine products in their goodie bags. When tension rises between Gretchen and Vicki, Tamra tries to break it by telling them all about Vicki peeing her bed. “I leaked. I’m gonna own it,” says Vicki. And then she says that we’ve all done it at least once in our lives. Ummmm…moving on. Tamra asks Gretchen to go take a walk with her and Vicki starts in on how Gretchen is the reason she and Tamra aren’t close friends anymore. Every word out of Vicki’s mouth drips with disdain for Gretchen. She’s condescending and rude and Gretchen does an excellent job of keeping her cool.  Plus 5 to Gretchen for that.  Minus 20 to Vicki for being a raging lunatic. Tamra tells Gretchen about Vicki’s “my plan worked” comment and then the camera flashes back to Vicki and Lydia talking. Vicki thinks that Gretchen should look to her as a mentor. HAHAHAHHAHAHA.  Minus 10 . Back on the beach, Gretchen asks Tamra why she pushes people away when they get close to her. Tamra starts to cry and tells Gretchen about her newfound revelation that feelings are okay.  Tamra gravitates to people like Tamra because they don’t “get deep.” They don’t make her confront herself. Team Gretchen. Back in OC, Alexis and Jim go to dinner. She’s not jealous of the other women who are whooping it up in Mexico, but she’s totally jealous.  Minus 4 Lydia called her and doesn’t know what to do about the strippers who are coming to play later. Jim shuts down conversation about the women and asks to be left out of it. So Alexis says she wants to have another baby. Jim says they can talk about it again in 5 years. She counters with 6 months. Then she says the dumbest thing she’s said all season: “You may be faster, but I will outrun you. You know what that means?”    No, Alexis, just like Jim, NONE OF US know what that means.  Minus 10.  And  Minus 10 more for making us think about you and Jim doing the dirty. Gretchen has decked out their resort suite for Tamra’s night. She’s also vowed to have fun with Vicki for Tamra’s sake. After a quick cocktail, Tamra opens a present and then dinner is served.  Strangest revelation of the night is that Lydia shops at Victoria’s Secret.  Heather shops at…I’m not sure where she shops. But she bought Tamra a diamond-studded whip. And a pregnancy test. And hand sanitizer. And latex gloves.  Plus 12. And Vicki buys her the largest dildo ever. Once dinner winds down a bit, Lydia excuses herself to go and call Doug. She doesn’t want to see the strippers Gretchen has hired to tantalize Tamra. Except they don’t tantalize so much as nearly violate her. It’s not exactly clear if Gretchen hired strippers or prostitutes. But hey, fun was had by all, I guess. Plus 5. Just for funsies, here’s Heather’s face while the Magic Mikes were doing their, uh, Tamra, Gretchen, and Vicki. Safety first! Lydia joins the girls for breakfast the next morning and Tamra doesn’t quite understand why she could dance on a bar but not stay for the strippers. Me either, Tamra. Oh well. Until next time… EPISODE TOTAL: -106 SEASON TOTAL: -32

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: What Happens In Mexico…

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Whine, Whine, Whine

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

If there’s one thing  The Real Housewives of Orange County love, it’s wine. Vicki and Tamra launched Wines by Wives last season and now it’s time to focus on building their business. Except they’re not really friends anymore, so this should make for interesting office politics. Join us now as we break it all down with our  THG +/-  system! At Casa Dubrow, Terry asks the most disgusting question a husband can ask a wife. “Do you want to cut my toenails?”  Minus 20 .  These two are still on the outs following their dinner the night before. She tries to explain why she was hurt the night before and he just goes right on clipping his toenails.  Minus 10 .  Heather’s issue is that she needs support from Terry instead of jokes. Terry cracks another joke. Get it together, you two! The wine is in and Tamra checks to make sure she’s the center wife on the label. She and Eddie head out to Malibu for a little wine tasting with the girls.  Tamra’s jealous of Eddie’s bike and says if there’s anyone he would ever have an affair with, it would be his bike. Vicki climbs into the limo with the Dubrows and the McLaughlins. She’s feeling like a fifth wheel as the only person on the trip without a significant other.   Lydia’s kids made a get well card for Slade’s son. Super sweet.  Plus 12. Tamra’s ready to do some business. Yes, they’re sampling wine, but they also need to choose new wines for their mail-order business.  During the first sampling, the wine goes to Vicki’s head and she insults the winery owner by saying she thought he and his daughter were actually a couple.  Minus 13. Heather asks how old the daughter is and she responds “24.” Then Vicki adds injury to insult by telling the girl she looks older than 24.  Minus 7 . Jim and Alexis have a new Sky Zone opening in San Diego so she’s not on the Malibu trip. And she wasn’t invited in the first place. They’re going to the opening of their trampoline park for kids without their own kids.  Back in Malibu, the group arrives at their hotel and Vicki turns on the tears and whines about the fact that she’s single. Or just there by herself, since she and Brooks are sort of dating but then not?  At dinner, there’s more alcohol. Doug asks which wine they’re drinking at dinner and asks who chose it. Tamra raises her hand and Vicki gives her the Evil Eye. Talk turns to the missing dramatic element of the night: Alexis. Lydia says that Alexis misses Gretchen and Gretchen says she doesn’t believe that.  To change the subject, Tamra asks Heather if she’ll get to make out with anyone on her upcoming guest role on  Hot In Cleveland . Atta girl, Tamra! Way to shift the focus!  Plus 8 .  Terry starts cracking jokes and Heather’s demeanor changes instantly.  Vicki has a new business venture that she hasn’t told Tamra about, one to which she’s focusing most of her attention. Instead of helping sell Wines by Wives, she’s peddling Vicki’s Vodka. It’s day two in Malibu and there are more wines to taste. Eddie and Slade are missing breakfast for cycling. Heather asks if Tamra and Eddie need to have a conversation about the cycling and Tamra tells her that’s an argument she’ll never win. Thus begins a conversation about marriage and compromise and pretty soon Terry spills the beans that after their dinner, he dropped the “D” word in conversation with Heather.  Vicki actually gives sage advice when she says that throwing around the word “divorce” builds a wall between a married couple.  Plus 10 . Heather just wants what she gives. That’s not too much to ask. Eddie and Slade arrive from their ride just in time to draw the attention away from Terry and Heather.  Plus 5 . Instead of tasting and choosing wine, Vicki tries on coats. Then she needs to leave to go to dinner with friends in L.A. even though she’s supposed to be on a business trip. The best thing that could possibly happen for Vicki and Tamra at this point is for the two of them to stop being business partners.  Tamra calls Vicki a bitch and Vicki calls Tamra a miserable person.  Heather and Terry take a moment to talk about brunch and he apologizes. He knows he screwed up. They agree to hit the pause button on the conversation and pick it up again after she films.  Briana brings Troy by Vicki’s office because that’s the only way she feels like she can see her mom. Vicki gives her side of the story about Malibu and definitely angles the conversation so she’s in a good light.  Minus 8 . Tamra and Eddie go to dinner to discuss the fitness studio. Tamra has trouble balancing two businesses. She also thinks she has an anger issue given her latest outburst with Vicki. Tamra doesn’t know how to talk about emotion and has a really truthful moment with herself and Eddie about how she reacts to situations.  Plus 30.  EPISODE TOTAL: +7    SEASON TOTAL: -38

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Whine, Whine, Whine

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Premiere:

Posted on April 2, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

The ORH (that’s “Original Real Housewives”) are back as the Real Housewives of Orange County season 8 premieres! This season promises drama, babies, and lots of blonde headed women–and Heather–knocking back wine and ” champs ” on Bravo’s flagship franchise. With new cast member Lydia McLaughlin joining in and former cast member Lauri Peterson set to return this season, there’s sure to be some drama. This should be awesome.     Vicki’s redecorating to celebrate Donn’s exit and Brianna and Ryan’s entrance. She’s ready to dive right into her role as grandmother. Plus 10 .   A quick minus 5 for calling Brianna huge.    Plus 3 for moving the furniture with her assistant instead of waiting for a man to help her and another plus 5 for the wine break while moving it!   Still reeling from Slade comparing her to Miss Piggy during his stand-up gig last season, Vicki’s been working out in the off season. And by working out, we of course mean getting a nose job, cheek injections, and a chin implant.   But hey, at least she’s not hiding behind “sinus surgery.” Plus 12 for honesty. Except she hasn’t told the other women.   Her relationship with Brooks is “unsettled.” After hearing it from so many people, she finally started to see him for the opportunist he is.    Can we keep New Vicki? I kind of like her right now.   At Casa Dubrow, Heather’s planning a clambake for the ladies. All the ladies except Alexis. Since they don’t get along, Heather doesn’t want Alexis in her life. Plus 5? Minus 5? I can’t decide. So, both. We’ll call it a wash.   Terry really, really likes onion rings.   Plus 15 to Heather and Terry for being awesome together.     Tamra and Eddie are co-habitating, with her kids, in preparation for their impending nuptials.   She’s moving forward with her fitness studio with Eddie as an investor. They’re splitting things 51 and she likes to let him know.    She also likes to let him know she hates his taste in decor. It does kind of suck.    Oh, hooray! It’s baby day! Briana’s in the hospital. How long before Vicki will try to find a way to make this all about herself?   Gretchen and Tamra are out shopping and Heather calls to let them know that Briana’s in labor. Heather suggests Tamra shoot Vicki a text and Tamra says she’ll text Briana instead. She and Vicki are still on the outs.    Tamra hasn’t talked to Alexis either. Apparently, Alexis took offense to being called “Jesus Jugs” during the reunion show and she and Jim have thought about suing Tamra .  Minus 8,  Alexis. Tamra’s mean, but Alexis walked into everything she said.   Briana’s been in labor for 18 hours. Still no baby yet. The doctors are talking c-section and Vicki’s freaking out.   Baby Troy is here!  Plus 50! He’s so tiny and cute and the little baby sneeze! Oh my god! The cute and I die!!   Briana makes babies and Gretchen can’t figure out how to make coffee.  Minus 8 . Slade has a new job as a radio DJ and without him there, Gretchen’s morning routine is suffering.  Minus 10 more for good measure.   Now that Slade has a real job, Gretchen has hired Cindy to help her manage her business and life. But Cindy is no Slade.     The Bellinos have moved into a new home, one which they own. But Alexis and Jim keep arguing about how to decorate the space. Alexis wants to change the art and Jim takes the opportunity to ask her what she knows about art. He’s such an ass.  Minus 12.   Alexis maintains that she was bullied by the other women last year. That they intentionally attacked her repeatedly because she was weaker than they were.   She knows about Heather’s clambake and knows that she wasn’t invited. She’s not ready to be around those women and Jim agrees that Alexis is right to avoid them all.    While preparing for the clambake, Heather’s micro-managing the people she hired to design and plan the party. Minus 7.    She’s also putting Tamra and Vicki across from each other at the table without bothering to find out if they’re even talking.    Eddie and Tamra are picking up Gretchen and Gretchen’s nervous about seeing Vicki. Vicki’s also nervous about seeing the other women but plans to be honest about the work she had done.    At Heather’s house, the chef Heather hired has prepared a meal that’s making my mouth water. Terry asks about onion rings. Again.   Tamra, Gretchen, and Eddie arrive at Heather’s house and after her last shindig, Heather has hired bodyguards.  Minus 8 for overkill.   Heather  has Gretchen seated next to Vicki and she and Tamra immediately go to work to try to needle Heather into changing the seating chart. Heather’s not budging.    Tamra and Gretchen also think that Vicki hasn’t actually broken up with Brooks like she says she has. What happened to honesty, Vicki?   Vicki has arrived and she’s ready to be a bitch to Tamra if Tamra’s a bitch to her. Cat fight! Bring it on, ladies!   EPISODE TOTAL: +37 SEASON TOTAL: +37

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Gay Couple’s Picture Misused in Anti-Gay Political Attack Ad; Legal Action Possible

Posted on July 14, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Brian Edwards and Tom Privitere, a New Jersey couple married in 2010, were stunned – and irate – to find themselves on an anti-gay political ad campaign. The photo of the two men had been posted innocuously on Edwards’ personal blog and was originally set against the backdrop of the N.Y. City skyline. A doctored version shows the gay couple standing in a Colorado setting and was used in a political ad to attack a Republican who supported civil unions: The tagline for the attack ad, which was sponsored by Public Advocate of the United States, was: “State Sen. Jean White’s Idea of ‘Family Values?'” White later lost the primary. Now, with the help of the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), the duo and photographer Kristina Hill are all threatening to sue the organization behind the ad and its president, Eugene Delgaudio, if they do not stop using the photo. “Our initial reaction was complete shock,” said Privitere, 37, who lives with Edwards in Montclair, N.J. The couple has been together for 12 years. “We were heartbroken to see that our picture that was taken to represent love and family, and our values, and to share with other LGBT couples, was used for complete opposite purposes to induce fear and spread hate and bigotry,” he said. Public Advocate, based in Falls Church, Va., is on the SPLC’s 2011 hate group list. It never had permission to use the photo, unsurprisingly. Delgaudio, who is head of the board of supervisors for Loudon County in Virginia, told ABC News that he has not yet received SPLC’s letter. He is “looking into the matter” and searching whether or not we have the photo,” he said. “I have not commented on this ever and I have no statements on it … Someone could do this without my permission, but I am working on it.”

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Alexis Bellino: Slammed By Heather Dubrow, Leaving The Real Housewives of Orange County?

Posted on July 14, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Alexis Bellino has taken a serious beating on The Real Housewives of Orange County this season, leading her to wonder whether it will be her last. On last week’s Real Housewives of Orange County reunion , the women all ganged up on Bellino for her antics and treatment of the show’s crew. “I’ve never seen anybody treat a [TV] crew the way you treat this crew,” co-star and former actress Heather Dubrow said as Andy Cohen moderated. “You speak to them like trash and they are beneath you … take a moment to look inside yourself. If everyone says you’re dead, it’s time to lie down!” Ouch. Don’t expect the bad blood to simmer down either. Dubrow added at an event later in the week that “at some point you have to know when to shut the door … and I think I’ve shut that door.” For her part, Bellino said that “[Vicki] and I are still in a lot of contact” since the season ended, but “the other girls and I … we’re not talking.” The Vicki Gunvalson-Tamra Barney feud has nothing on the group’s collective assault on Bellino, with “Phony-Gate” dominating the season. As such, Bellino claimed she’s mulling whether to return. “I don’t know at this point,” she said of coming back for RHOC’s Season 8 next year. “Honestly, I think I’ve taken a pretty good beating and I don’t know.” What do you think? Do you want to see Alexis Bellino back?

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Things Fall Apart

Posted on June 26, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Friendship bracelets, Pussycat dolls, Costa Rica, engagement rings, and cake-eating party crashers . This season of The Real Housewives of Orange County has had it all. Tonight, on the season finale, notes are compared and confrontations are had. Find out how it all goes down with our THG +/- review! Sarah’s still being a ball of drunken crazy about being picked on for breaking the cake. Over her. Minus 3. In two signs of the Apocalypse, Terry calls Brooks “a really nice guy” ( Minus 4 ) and Tamra decides to eat carbs ( Plus 4 ). To commemorate their five months of being friends, and as a tit-for-tat from the first episode , Gretchen gives Tamra a friendship bracelet. Each charm represents something special, but one heart represents how Tamra’s unbreakable. Tamra tells Gretchen she loves her and thanks her for being such a good friend. And then she cries again. While Tamra needs to lay off the booze tonight, it’s a nice moment for these ladies. Plus 10 . Sarah’s still whining about the cake and has the audacity to call Heather the rude one. Heather calls for the “heavy artillery”–a bunch of ladies in cocktail dresses and Terry–and says it’s time for Sarah to go. Plus 3. Alexis tries to get louder than everyone else to bring about a resolution and Slade speaks up as the voice of reason. There’s no need for a resolution. There’s a need for Sarah to leave because that’s what’s been asked of her. As they get Sarah to the door, the greatest line in all of reality television ever, or maybe just this season, falls out of Sarah’s mouth–“Is this the world we live in? Over a bleeping piece of tiny cake?” Yes, Sarah. Yes it is. Buh-bye. Plus 10. The party’s still rocking at Chateau Dubrow, and Vicki decides it’s time to “apologize” to Ryan for bringing him up in her fight with Briana. But in Vickiwood, apologize means “talk about yourself and make things all about how everyone else is wrong.” Minus 17. She thinks Ryan will help her get Briana back, but Ryan says this is really Vicki’s problem. Then she says “I love you. I don’t know you and you took my daughter away, but I love you.” Uh, thanks? Ryan loves you too? Minus 8. Alexis is rambling on to Brooks about how Jim isn’t there because he didn’t want to be there. And who sneaks in the door but Jim! Heather’s Drama-Senses are tingling and Alexis is chipper over Jim’s arrival. WAY chipper. Way more than just one cocktail chipper. Minus 11. Terry comments to a guest that Jim “grew a pair and showed up” right before he does the man-hug-handshake thing that men do. In Camp Gunvalson, Jeana’s daughter Kara sees Slade hug Tamra and is confused. Gretchen applies Tamra’s lipgloss (by kissing her) and Vicki goes traipsing across the yard. She thinks Tamra and Gretchen’s friendship is fake and calls Tamra a brown-noser. Let it go, Vicki. Gretchen’s just more fun than you. Minus 7. Slade offers up hsi services as bouncer again should Terry need them. He’s prepared to send Jim packing if he needs to. Terry asks if they’re okay and Jim says they’ll talk next week. Alexis says they should just talk now and in a complete douchebag move, Jim asks “really? Are you wearing the pants?” Minus 50. I just can’t stand this man. Jim and Terry go talk and Terry’s straight up with Jim. He thinks Alexis is phony and inauthentic. Plus 5 . Heather walks up and Jim nods in her direction and says this is the reason he wanted to talk next week. Jim’s got a problem with the women-folk. But, the talk continues. Until Tamra walks up. Then Jim’s out. Minus 10 , Tamra. This wasn’t your conversation to have. Alexis says Heather shouldn’t have even been in the conversation and it should’ve just been Jim and Terry, man-to-man. Actually, sweetheart, it should’ve been YOU and Terry because Terry talked about you. But whatever. Alexis goes out to talk to Jim and Jim’s pulling out of the driveway without her. She practically has to chase him down the driveway to get him to stop the car. Minus 12 . The gang’s all at the table now. And the booze is flowing. Vicki toasts to the absent Alexis and Tamra rolls her eyes. Brooks challenges her, saying she gave Vicki the “Evil Eye,” and picks a fight with Tamra on Vicki’s behalf. Gretchen says a fight’s been brewing between the two of them for months. Tamra and Brooks start to argue and then Vicki tells Eddie to get control of Tamra, which causes Tamra to tell Vicki to stop letting Brooks tell her what to think, which makes Vicki stand up and get in Tamra’s face. Can we cut the cake already? Maybe these ladies need some sugar. Vicki and Brooks prepare to leave and Tamra follows them to find out why they’re leaving. Vicki shouts that Tamra’s supposed to be her friend and how dare Tamra talk about Brooks and disrespect him and blah blah blah. Get a grip, Vicki. Tamra goes to find Briana after Vicki and Brooks leave and they compare notes. Neither of them like Brooks. Tamra’s crying. Briana’s ready to stick Brooks on a plane to Siberia. Ryan goes back into the house to get Briana away from Tamra so that Tamra can’t corrupt Briana while she and Vicki are “in a healing phase.” Minus 4. Heather goes out to get Vicki and Brooks and bring them back in for her special toast. Briana asks Vicki for Vicki’s side of the story. Suddenly, it seems Vicki saw Tamra roll her eyes and she chooses Brooks over her daughter. They all head back into the party for the final toast. Minus 12. Finally, we’re cutting this damn cake. Heather explains why they’re all there–shockingly, it wasn’t for the drama–she’s changed her name legally and wants to thank her friends, new and old, for coming out to support her. Heather’s classy. I like her. Plus 30. In the worst Vicki moment so far, she muscles her way into the circle to say, basically, “Congrats Heather. When I’m attacked, I fight back and I’m leaving and I’m choosing my man.” I’m surprised she didn’t drop a “my love tank is full” for good measure. Minus 20. Heather’s big surprise of the night–diamonds in the champagne glasses–goes over well. Tamra gets the lucky flute. Now she’s got a new rock to match the one Eddie gave her in Bora Bora. Closing notes: Tamra asks Heather to do shots. Not a good idea, Tamra. Heather says they don’t do shots. Tamra calls her Fancypants. In love, of course. Heather’s still opening up a restaurant. Eddie asks Ryan, Tamra’s son, to be his best man when Eddie and Tamra tie the knot. Tamra needs another drink. Briana says that she and Vicki’s relationship will really continue to suffer as long as Vicki keeps choosing Brooks. Briana and Ryan had a wedding for their friends and family. Briana’s also 6 months pregnant. Tamra and Gretchen are closer than Gretchen and Alexis.

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Things Fall Apart

Posted on June 26, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Friendship bracelets, Pussycat dolls, Costa Rica, engagement rings, and cake-eating party crashers . This season of The Real Housewives of Orange County has had it all. Tonight, on the season finale, notes are compared and confrontations are had. Find out how it all goes down with our THG +/- review! Sarah’s still being a ball of drunken crazy about being picked on for breaking the cake. Over her. Minus 3. In two signs of the Apocalypse, Terry calls Brooks “a really nice guy” ( Minus 4 ) and Tamra decides to eat carbs ( Plus 4 ). To commemorate their five months of being friends, and as a tit-for-tat from the first episode , Gretchen gives Tamra a friendship bracelet. Each charm represents something special, but one heart represents how Tamra’s unbreakable. Tamra tells Gretchen she loves her and thanks her for being such a good friend. And then she cries again. While Tamra needs to lay off the booze tonight, it’s a nice moment for these ladies. Plus 10 . Sarah’s still whining about the cake and has the audacity to call Heather the rude one. Heather calls for the “heavy artillery”–a bunch of ladies in cocktail dresses and Terry–and says it’s time for Sarah to go. Plus 3. Alexis tries to get louder than everyone else to bring about a resolution and Slade speaks up as the voice of reason. There’s no need for a resolution. There’s a need for Sarah to leave because that’s what’s been asked of her. As they get Sarah to the door, the greatest line in all of reality television ever, or maybe just this season, falls out of Sarah’s mouth–“Is this the world we live in? Over a bleeping piece of tiny cake?” Yes, Sarah. Yes it is. Buh-bye. Plus 10. The party’s still rocking at Chateau Dubrow, and Vicki decides it’s time to “apologize” to Ryan for bringing him up in her fight with Briana. But in Vickiwood, apologize means “talk about yourself and make things all about how everyone else is wrong.” Minus 17. She thinks Ryan will help her get Briana back, but Ryan says this is really Vicki’s problem. Then she says “I love you. I don’t know you and you took my daughter away, but I love you.” Uh, thanks? Ryan loves you too? Minus 8. Alexis is rambling on to Brooks about how Jim isn’t there because he didn’t want to be there. And who sneaks in the door but Jim! Heather’s Drama-Senses are tingling and Alexis is chipper over Jim’s arrival. WAY chipper. Way more than just one cocktail chipper. Minus 11. Terry comments to a guest that Jim “grew a pair and showed up” right before he does the man-hug-handshake thing that men do. In Camp Gunvalson, Jeana’s daughter Kara sees Slade hug Tamra and is confused. Gretchen applies Tamra’s lipgloss (by kissing her) and Vicki goes traipsing across the yard. She thinks Tamra and Gretchen’s friendship is fake and calls Tamra a brown-noser. Let it go, Vicki. Gretchen’s just more fun than you. Minus 7. Slade offers up hsi services as bouncer again should Terry need them. He’s prepared to send Jim packing if he needs to. Terry asks if they’re okay and Jim says they’ll talk next week. Alexis says they should just talk now and in a complete douchebag move, Jim asks “really? Are you wearing the pants?” Minus 50. I just can’t stand this man. Jim and Terry go talk and Terry’s straight up with Jim. He thinks Alexis is phony and inauthentic. Plus 5 . Heather walks up and Jim nods in her direction and says this is the reason he wanted to talk next week. Jim’s got a problem with the women-folk. But, the talk continues. Until Tamra walks up. Then Jim’s out. Minus 10 , Tamra. This wasn’t your conversation to have. Alexis says Heather shouldn’t have even been in the conversation and it should’ve just been Jim and Terry, man-to-man. Actually, sweetheart, it should’ve been YOU and Terry because Terry talked about you. But whatever. Alexis goes out to talk to Jim and Jim’s pulling out of the driveway without her. She practically has to chase him down the driveway to get him to stop the car. Minus 12 . The gang’s all at the table now. And the booze is flowing. Vicki toasts to the absent Alexis and Tamra rolls her eyes. Brooks challenges her, saying she gave Vicki the “Evil Eye,” and picks a fight with Tamra on Vicki’s behalf. Gretchen says a fight’s been brewing between the two of them for months. Tamra and Brooks start to argue and then Vicki tells Eddie to get control of Tamra, which causes Tamra to tell Vicki to stop letting Brooks tell her what to think, which makes Vicki stand up and get in Tamra’s face. Can we cut the cake already? Maybe these ladies need some sugar. Vicki and Brooks prepare to leave and Tamra follows them to find out why they’re leaving. Vicki shouts that Tamra’s supposed to be her friend and how dare Tamra talk about Brooks and disrespect him and blah blah blah. Get a grip, Vicki. Tamra goes to find Briana after Vicki and Brooks leave and they compare notes. Neither of them like Brooks. Tamra’s crying. Briana’s ready to stick Brooks on a plane to Siberia. Ryan goes back into the house to get Briana away from Tamra so that Tamra can’t corrupt Briana while she and Vicki are “in a healing phase.” Minus 4. Heather goes out to get Vicki and Brooks and bring them back in for her special toast. Briana asks Vicki for Vicki’s side of the story. Suddenly, it seems Vicki saw Tamra roll her eyes and she chooses Brooks over her daughter. They all head back into the party for the final toast. Minus 12. Finally, we’re cutting this damn cake. Heather explains why they’re all there–shockingly, it wasn’t for the drama–she’s changed her name legally and wants to thank her friends, new and old, for coming out to support her. Heather’s classy. I like her. Plus 30. In the worst Vicki moment so far, she muscles her way into the circle to say, basically, “Congrats Heather. When I’m attacked, I fight back and I’m leaving and I’m choosing my man.” I’m surprised she didn’t drop a “my love tank is full” for good measure. Minus 20. Heather’s big surprise of the night–diamonds in the champagne glasses–goes over well. Tamra gets the lucky flute. Now she’s got a new rock to match the one Eddie gave her in Bora Bora. Closing notes: Tamra asks Heather to do shots. Not a good idea, Tamra. Heather says they don’t do shots. Tamra calls her Fancypants. In love, of course. Heather’s still opening up a restaurant. Eddie asks Ryan, Tamra’s son, to be his best man when Eddie and Tamra tie the knot. Tamra needs another drink. Briana says that she and Vicki’s relationship will really continue to suffer as long as Vicki keeps choosing Brooks. Briana and Ryan had a wedding for their friends and family. Briana’s also 6 months pregnant. Tamra and Gretchen are closer than Gretchen and Alexis.

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Siohvaughn Funches-Wade, Wife of Miami Heat Star, Arrested on Child Abduction Charges

Posted on June 19, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dwyane Wade is currently battling the Oklahoma City Thunder in the NBA Finals. But the elite shooting guard was faced with an obstacle far greater than guarding Kevin Durant this weekend, when his estranged ex-wife attempted to kidnap the former couple’s two children. A rep for the Cook County Sheriff’s Office has confirmed that Siohvaughn Funches-Wade was arrested for allegedly trying to abduct the boys, saying in a statement: “Siohvaughn Funches-Wade was charged with two counts of attempted child abduction, two counts of unlawful visitation interference and one count of resisting arrest.” She posted $10,000 bond and will appear in court again this August. Dwyane – who is dating actress Gabrielle Union – has legal custody of the children and will reportedly use this incident to limit Siohvaughn’s visitation rights, considering it’s not even her first foray into seriously shady behavior. In the past couple years, Siohvaughn has sued Union for causing emotional distress and also accused Wade of giving her a STD .

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Siohvaughn Funches-Wade, Wife of Miami Heat Star, Arrested on Child Abduction Charges

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Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

Posted on June 19, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Tonight on The Real Housewives of Orange County Heather and Terry throw a party and one of the housewives brings a party-crasher as her date. Find out how things went down on our THG +/- review! Tamra meets Heather and Gretchen for dinner to show off her new bling and tell the story. She called Heather from Bora Bora. She didn’t call Gretchen. Minus 12. And minus 3 for those giant blue feather earrings Gretchen’s wearing. Tamra thought Gretchen would be upset, but Gretchen’s happy for her. Plus 10. Mostly happy at least. There’s that whole “Tamra just signed her divorce papers” thing. Tamra hasn’t been able to get in touch with Vicki because Vicki’s spending all her time with Brooks. Ew. Alexis meets up with Sarah and tells her about Phony-gate. Apparently, Alexis is just nice. And nice means phony now in Alexis Land. And in the real world “nice” means “nice” and “phony” means Alexis. Minus 8 . Sarah says the other women are just jealous. And then she says Heather’s had too much Botox. And then Alexis invites Sarah to be her wingwoman at Heather’s party and all I see is Sarah starting drama. Minus 5 . It’s party day at Heather’s house. She’s celebrating her name change. And giving somebody a diamond in a champagne glass. Plus 20. Vicki’s heard Eddie and Tamra are engaged and she thinks it’s too soon. Considering she’s technically still married and in a relationship with Brooks, she’s not one to talk. Minus 12. Brooks bought her a fur. Poor, poor baby rabbits and foxes and small woodland creatures. Minus 52. This will be Vicki’s first time seeing Briana since their fight. Cue more drama! Tamra’s suspicious of Brooks, too. She and Briana should hook up and compare notes. Alexis and Sarah isn’t at all nervous about going to Heather’s house. She plans to demand apologies from the women if any of them bring up Costa Rica. Good luck with that, Alexis. At Chateau Dubrow, party prep is in full swing. This is going to be a swanky affair. Plus 20. Terry wonders if Alexis will confront either of them about Terry’s comments. Heather says that would be “wildly inappropriate.” Alexis, in her conversation with Sarah, seems to agree. She’s going to let Jim handle it at lunch. But Sarah plans to call the doctor onto the carpet. In his own home. When she’s a guest of a guest. Minus 15. This Sarah girl is just all sorts of ballsy. Sarah was entirely uninvited to the party and Heather’s kind of surprised to see her. But, ever the lady, she invites Sarah to get a cocktail. Plus 5. Something tells me Sarah shouldn’t drink though. I think it’ll be like feeding Gizmo after midnight–Gremlins. Vicki cannot shut up about her new fur and how Brooks bought it. Briana shows up and Vicki pretends their fight never happened. Must be nice in the Land of Denial. Sarah walks herself right into the kitchen to start munching on whatever food she finds. Alexis follows her to the bathroom and says “Your eyes look a little drunk. Maybe we should sip water.” Maybe that’s the best idea Alexis has had all season. Plus 15. Jeana’s here as a guest of Gretchen and Slade. Tamra’s not excited. In fact, she seems downright scared. Vicki, however, is happy to have her there if for no other reason than to show off her new coat. AGAIN. And, of course, shock them with her tale of how Briana deprived her of her mother of the bride duties by eloping. AGAIN. Minus 57. Kara, Jeana’s daughter, brought a poncho to the party, just in case Tamra decides to throw more glasses of wine. Plus 4 for being prepared. Tamra, Kara, and Jeana talk and Tamra cries “please just be my friend again.” She ain’t too proud to beg, y’all. Alexis should’ve kept better tabs on Sarah’s alcohol intake. Sarah “has a sugar problem” so she helps herself to a piece of the bow from Heather’s cake. Then she calls Heather fake and pretentious and Alexis tells Heather she’s overreacting. Except Sarah’s a sloppy drunk and she’s rude and disgusting to boot. EPISODE TOTAL: -90 SEASON TOTAL: -265 Next week on the season finale, Tamra and Briana DO compare notes on Brooks and things get ugly between Tamra and Vicki. Finally.

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Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Stand By Your Man (Even If He’s a Deadbeat)

Posted on March 14, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Last week, The Real Housewives of Orange County got together to play Bunco and Terry, Eddie, and Shady Slade crashed the party. This week we’re picking up right where we left off. Let’s document the drama with our THG +/- recap! In walk the men. Terry and Eddie are rocking skintight zebra pants that show off any ASSets they may have at their ages. Slade’s rocking a mullet a la Billy Ray Cyrus. Gretchen says in the one-on-one that he looks like “such a douchebag.” Ouch, Gretchen! Plus 5 . Gretchen fills Slade in on the drama that was brewing between her and Tamra’s friend Ricky. Slade responds “Let’s start sh*t.” Oh, Slade. Minus 10 . This isn’t your party OR Gretchen’s and you’re doing no favors by bringing the drama. Slade asks Ricky if he has a problem with Slade’s stand-up. Ricky replies he wasn’t even there. Vicki asks Slade when he became a comedian. Slade’s response? “When I decided to go do it.” Not an answer, Slade. Or at least not a good one. Minus 10 . Vicki calls Slade a piece of sh*t repeatedly and leaves saying she’s going to see her daughter, who actually matters. Gretchen makes a valid point to the rest of the people in the room that none of them knows what she and Slade have discussed post-Improv and Vicki comes back in to speak her mind to Slade. First, she tells him she’s sorry she doesn’t fit the Orange County mold of what he thinks she should look like, but her mom and dad think she’s pretty, so that’s all that matters. (Sidenote: Her parents have got to be, what, in their 80s now? Can they even still see her?) Slade says he never said she didn’t look the way HE thinks she should look and that he only commented on things other people had said. Vicki says it was mean and hurtful and she’s never talked about how he looked. That comment lights a fire under Gretchen. She chimes in asking how what Slade’s done is any different than Vicki calling Slade a deadbeat dad for failure to pay his child support. Vicki tells her, basically, that she has no room to speak because she doesn’t have kids of her own. Gretchen tells Vicki she’s smoking crack and calls her out for dating Brooks since Brooks also fits the definition of “dead beat dad.” They continued to shriek like banshees and I’m pretty sure someone said something about babies and vaginas while Heather, Alexis, and Tamra just looked on in horror. Plus 15 to Gretchen for defending her man and standing up to Vicki, even if Vicki says she can’t stand up for what she doesn’t know. Tamra says she wouldn’t have invited Slade if she knew he’d make Vicki that upset. And then the camera goes back to Gretchen who has gone from drunk and fired up to crying in her skinny margarita because of Vicki’s constant belittling of Slade. Tamra’s outside consoling Vicki and talking about how removed she is from the situation. Gretchen’s crying some more and talking about Vicki’s double standards and how it’s always okay for Vicki to talk about everyone else but it’s never okay for anyone to talk about Vicki. Minus 10 for the high-school drama. I mean, like Vicki said, aren’t they adults? Vicki finally leaves the party and says she’s done with Gretchen because her behavior has been inexcusable. Heather’s shocked and horrified by what’s going on and it’s a school night, after all. Tamra tells Gretchen that Vicki’s close to a nervous breakdown, but Gretchen says that’s not really an excuse. I sense trouble brewing in Gretchen-Tamra reunion land over Vicki-gate. Then Tamra says the magic phrase. “I think I need to eat some carbs.” Plus 10 Tamra. Carbs are good for you. Finally, things seem to be settling down at Bunco night. There’s food and chatting and questions of plastic surgery recovery time with Terry which prompts Gretchen to offer the gossip morsel that Alexis is going in for surgery the following week. Tamra’s first question? “Oh, is she getting her boobs bigger??” Plus 5 . Gretchen says Alexis has bad sinuses and Tamra’s not buying it. Terry offers up a little free consultation to Heather, Gretchen and Tamra. Alexis overhears their entire exchange and says she’s having her nose job at the same time as her sinus surgery because she’ll be under. And that she’ll “hock a loogie” if the ladies want her to. Minus 10 for gross. Terry says it makes total sense, but says he didn’t even know they were talking about her. Alexis gets super defensive. SUPER defensive. But Tamra DID say Alexis has a big nose and should totally get her nose done. Minus 5 Tamra. Alexis privately calls Gretchen out for not defending her. Gretchen says in a one-on-one that Alexis really needs to just move on from this. Minus 10 to Gretchen for not defending her friend and for starting the whole thing in the first place. Out in the parking lot, Alexis continues to defend her necessary nose job and says that Gretchen should have defended her. Inside, Heather calls Alexis stupid and asks Terry if a brain lift is an actual procedure. Terry says Heather should give her friends an IQ test and Heather says she’ll be sure not to use any big words. Minus 5 because I’m bored with this nose job news already. Finally, FINALLY, Bunco night ends. Finally. Briana’s in her kitchen cracking open a beer and Donn, Vicki’s sort-of ex-husband, stops in for a visit. Briana says she doesn’t really know where her place is in the middle of the divorce. Donn says he’s staying busy and living the bachelor life. Briana lets us know Donn has finally moved out of Vicki’s house and she’s glad that the two of them are able to develop an adult friendship instead of a parent-child relationship. I’m getting a slightly Woody Allen-Soon-yi vibe which kind of creeps me out. Minus 10 . Briana tells Donn about her upcoming surgery and says it’s nice to have his support because he doesn’t freak out like her mom does. Gretchen’s got a sore throat from all the screaming she did the night before and hates that she got so in the middle of everything instead of just letting Slade fight his own battle. But the fireworks continued even after they’d all gone home. Gretchen says Vicki kept texting her after she got home last night saying that she wouldn’t tolerate people talking about her boyfriend not paying child support. That she wouldn’t tolerate a man who didn’t pay his child support. Uhhh, Vicki? Hello?? Seriously? Minus 20 . Vicki and Tamra are having coffee in Vicki’s office. Tamra says she was just in the area and thought she’d stop by. Plus 5 for the coffee peace offering. Tamra says she’s just stuck between two friends. Vicki, in the one-on-one, says she’s not a hypocrite for being with Brooks because Brooks is all caught up now and works a job while Slade doesn’t. Tamra says in her one-on-one that Gretchen’s got a point – Vicki’s dating a guy who went to jail for not paying child support. Plus 10 Tamra. Then Vicki says that she’s upset that no one stood up for her and told Gretchen to shut up. Tamra says it was all white noise and impossible to follow. Vicki says she hopes to get to a point where she and Gretchen can talk and she can apologize to Gretchen, but Gretchen also needs to apologize to her. Don’t hold your breath, Vicki. Especially since Slade’s the one you really need to have the conversation with. Alexis shows up for her necessary nose job and this time, Jim actually goes with her. How nice of him, right? Alexis says her doctor is the best in the area and is “really known for his breasts.” Plus 5 for making me laugh. Alexis is a crying mess. If they don’t get her to sleep soon, this surgery’s going to be off the books because she can’t stop crying. Vicki is with Briana preparing to take Briana to the hospital for her thyroidectomy. Vicki says she feels like her world is falling apart and says, again, that the prognosis for Briana isn’t good. That she might have cancer. As they drive to the hospital, Vicki says “I feel like I’m driving into Heaven” and that she might throw up and that she doesn’t feel like she can get through this. Minus 20 to Vicki for being insane right now. Briana, in a one-on-one, says “Nothing is ever about me, or about anyone else, when it comes to [her] mom. It always ends up being about [Vicki].” Truer words have never been spoken, Briana. Except Gretchen’s said them before, too. During this episode even. Plus 10 for honesty. EPISODE TOTAL: -50! SEASON TOTAL: -30! Next week, Alexis and Briana go under the knife and Tamra gets a consult to have a little surgery of her own.

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Stand By Your Man (Even If He’s a Deadbeat)

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