Prepare yourselves, fans of crazy drama: The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 10 kicks off on June 8! Oh, yes, we’re one week away from the returns of Vicki Gunvalson, Heather Dubrow and Tamra Judge, falong with the debut of new cast member Meghan King Edmonds . According to Tamra, the latest addition is “really good” at stirring things up, while Gunvalson says a trip to Tahiti is on tap for the Housewives this summer. “We swam with the sharks and just did things we probably shouldn’t have done – like drank too much – but I just think we had one of our greatest trips ever,” Vicki tells E! News . Look for Jeana Keough and Tammy Knickerbocker to stop for a guest appearance or two.. and for Tamra to be at the center of all the drama. “We have a birth, my granddaughter, we have a death, we have everything in between,” Tamra teases. “It’s really real life stuff going on. It’s not like, ‘You didn’t invite me to a party! You took my chair!’ It’s not that stuff…” Hey there! Shade thrown at The Real Housewives of New Jersey and other Bravo franchises? The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 10 premieres Monday, June 8 at 9/8c on Bravo. View Slideshow: 21 Best Tamra Barney Quotes
Prepare yourselves, fans of crazy drama: The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 10 kicks off on June 8! Oh, yes, we’re one week away from the returns of Vicki Gunvalson, Heather Dubrow and Tamra Judge, falong with the debut of new cast member Meghan King Edmonds . According to Tamra, the latest addition is “really good” at stirring things up, while Gunvalson says a trip to Tahiti is on tap for the Housewives this summer. “We swam with the sharks and just did things we probably shouldn’t have done – like drank too much – but I just think we had one of our greatest trips ever,” Vicki tells E! News . Look for Jeana Keough and Tammy Knickerbocker to stop for a guest appearance or two.. and for Tamra to be at the center of all the drama. “We have a birth, my granddaughter, we have a death, we have everything in between,” Tamra teases. “It’s really real life stuff going on. It’s not like, ‘You didn’t invite me to a party! You took my chair!’ It’s not that stuff…” Hey there! Shade thrown at The Real Housewives of New Jersey and other Bravo franchises? The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 10 premieres Monday, June 8 at 9/8c on Bravo. View Slideshow: 21 Best Tamra Barney Quotes
Unlike the Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta reunion fight, no weaves were pulled and no arrests were made when The Real Housewives of Orange County reconvened. Last week’s reunion show taping wasn’t drama-free by any means, though, as the women of SoCal brought with them insults, tears and apologies galore. The one-woman epicenter of tension? Tamra Barney. The reunion was “full of emotion, and it was all aimed at Tamra,” an insider revealed, noting, “Heather Dubrow actually apologized to Shannon Beador. In return, both of those ladies “took their anger out on Tamra, accusing her of stirring up drama and being a disloyal friend who spreads gossip.” The enemy of my enemy is my friend? Or something? They weren’t alone, either: “Vicki Gunvalson was also very mad at Tamra for betraying her trust, and continuing her vendetta against [Brooks Ayers].” But it was Shannon Beador who really went off on Tamra, according to insiders, for essentially “trying to make her look like a bad wife and mom.” That will typically not endear you to a person, it’s true. Tamra, who will be a grandmother this year as Ryan Vieth is expecting his first child, finally admitted to Beador that she leaked gossip about her. Real Housewives: Before They Were Reality Stars! 1. Tamra Barney: Before The Real Housewives OCs Tamra was quite the bodacious bikini babe. Still is! Will all of this get Tamra Barney fired from the show? That’s unclear, but despite the growing animosity, it’s hard to imagine those ties being severed. As for the husbands, the only ones who were invited to the taping to appear on camera were Terry Dubrow and David Beador, reports indicate. Heather’s plastic surgeon hubby, Terry “didn’t want her to apologize to Shannon because he didn’t feel she had done anything wrong,” the insider said. Meanwhile, “Shannon’s husband, David, also went OFF on Tamra for making his wife so upset. It was very sweet the way David defended Shannon.” Both believe Tamra is meddling and grasping at straws lately in large part because she personally is “very unhappy in her own marriage to Eddie [Judge].” Could a third divorce be nigh instead of a baby? It’s unclear, but producers are “ very happy with how the reunion taping went … there was tons of fighting, and tears, which equates to excellent ratings.” Yes. In that respect, everybody wins. Real Housewives: The Ultimate Bikini Body Slideshow 1. Joanna Krupa Joanna Krupa is hotter than hot on The Real Housewives of Miami.
The ladies got drunk in the woods of Montana on The Real Housewives of New York City – but could they “Bury the Hatchet” somewhere other than each other’s backs? We recap Sonja’s boobs, Ramona’s thong, and Carole flashing the squirrels in our +/- review… Only the Real Housewives consider getting drunk in the woods a good idea. Maybe if they cut back a little they wouldn’t all be so bitchy…or maybe the alcohol is the only thing that makes them tolerable, even to themselves. The Kristen and Heather feud continued and minus 25 because this was boring before it even got started. A whole other hour of it certainly didn’t help. Kristen says she was hoping for a drama free trip. Well, she definitely invited the wrong group of women. Of course there was one upside. No Aviva! Plus 50! Heather was enjoying a little too much of the Montana beer….and wine, and tequila. Maybe that’s what sparked her mocking Kristen. But Kristen couldn’t let it go and dragged Heather’s husband into this nonsense. We agree with Carole. That was just wrong. Minus 30 . Kristen should be a little more worried about her marriage. Let’s face it. Her husband’s a jerk who spends an awful lot of time at the office. The favorite pastime of the night seemed to be Kristen bashing and no one took more joy in it than Ramona who would have gladly called a private plane and ditched the whole trip if she hadn’t already pulled that schtick in the Berkshires. I bet Kristen would have gladly booked her flight. Love that LuAnn called Ramona out for being a “diva brat” and “treating Kristen like crap.” Plus 37. Ramona obviously failed to read the chapter in LuAnn’s book about being a gracious guest, “I’m the hostess of your trip so you should thank me.” Maybe she needed more Pinot. But then Ramona and Kristen bonded while bashing Heather’s marriage. Hmm…I wonder what Mario and Josh were up to while their wives were in Montana? I can understand the glamping ( sort of ) and the rodeo but what was up with the giant hatchet thrower?!? Only in Montana is that considered normal. As soon as the ladies were able to throw sharp objects (thankfully not at one another ) things got back to normal. Plus 43. We heard about Sonja’s lack of underwear ( nothing new there ), Ramona’s thong (I didn’t need to know that) , and Carole started flashing the squirrels. I hope the little fellas weren’t too traumatized. In the end, the Montana trip might be considered a success, at least for Sonja. She got to ogle the cowboys and watch them throw their meat around. She couldn’t have been happier. Episode total = +75! Season total = -522! So you tell us, who was more out of line, Heather or Kristen? Heather was being bitchy. Kristen never should have brought up Heather’s husband. They were both equally in the wrong. View Poll »
Another week, another episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County! Just what Monday night needs, right? “The Time Is Now” for Gretchen and Slade as the buxom blonde will propose to her beau (finally)! And Vicki will make a surprising announcement about Brooks. But not before she can receive a new nickname, of course. Let’s get rolling with our THG +/- recap! Vicki’s having Lydia and Alexis over to show them the new un-Donn’ed house. Vicki’s thinking of having a party to show everyone the new house. But she’s going to have a Winter Wonderland party outside. To show off the inside of the house. Okay. Lydia says she feels like she likes Slade and then he talks and she doesn’t like him anymore. Plus 3 . Slade’s pulling his old tricks again and talking about Vicki on his radio show. Her new nickname is “Tupperware Face.” Immediately upon hearing it, Alexis tells Vicki to turn the radio show off. Smart, Alexis! Plus 2. Vicki plans to invite Slade to her party anyway just so she can call him out on his latest antics. At Casa Dubrow, Terry calls a family meeting. They need to tell the kids that they’re building a new house. Nicky isn’t a fan at first, but then Terry tells him they can build a bigger movie theater and he’s on board. Plus 10. At the radio station, Slade’s co-host plays the “perfect” song for him. She pushes play and Gretchen’s song begins to play. At first he doesn’t know what’s going on but by the time the song hits the bridge, he’s crying, his cohost is crying, and it’s a little dusty in my living room. Plus 50 . While Slade’s being song-bombed in his studio, Gretchen’s busy setting up an engagement party for him. The party looks way more like it’s for Gretchen than for Slade, but hey, everybody loves a party. Plus 5. Gretchen pulled out all the stops for this engagement. She sent a tux and a limo to his office, scheduled a helicopter ride, planned the party. Oh, and the song. She didn’t invite any of the ladies to the party. Vicki hates Gretchen and Slade, she’s been on the outs with Alexis for a year, she and Tamra are in a rough patch, and now Heather’s talking smack about her acting gigs. Poor Gretch. At least she’ll get the guy. She sits down with her mom and has a heart to heart about her past relationships. They’ve all ended in tragedy so she’s a little scared of the next step with Slade. Mom gives her stamp of approval on Slade. Plus 4. As the helicopter lands, Slade catches site of Gretchen and Gretchen catches sight of Slade. They’re both crying. She makes an amazing speech, the smartest, most eloquent thing Gretchen has ever said in maybe her whole life. It’s so incredibly sweet. Plus 50. Before giving an answer, Slade gets down on one knee, apparently not realizing that the proposal already happened and he wasn’t the one to issue it. Whatever. He says yes. Plus 20. Tamra and Eddie are ready to sell memberships to CUT Fitness even though the gym isn’t open yet. Alexis, who was kicked out of the studio once upon a time, is the first to show up and be welcomed into it. Plus 12. Back at the hotel, Gretchen and Slade enter the party and are greeted by their family and closest friends. Slade’s mom welcomes Gretchen to the family. So does Slade’s son Gavin, who sounds exactly like his father. Plus 8. Gretchen gives another little speech and welcomes her friends from high school and college and now and then welcomes their family. Vicki’s setting up for her Winter Wonderland party but tells her decorators and crew to scale it back. She wanted a Mediterranean Winter Wonderland. She’s shouting about the “bitches” who are arriving in an hour. Minus 12. She wants no drama at her party. Good luck. Ryan’s back in town so he gets his honey-do list: fix the fridge, fix the water heater, take out the trash. He declines. Tamra and Eddie arrive first and Tamra’s excited to meet Baby Troy. Baby Troy’s excited to make a poop in his diaper. As a housewarming present, Tamra brought Vicki a BFF frame with a picture of the two of them in it. A not terribly flattering photo, but a photo. Plus 3. There is much SQUEEing as the rest of the group arrives. Tamra’s surprised to see Jim arrive with Alexis. Never seeing Jim ever would be great, so I feel you, Tamra. Lydia believes people should whisper the word “magical.” Minus 4. Hey, Lydia. Stop eating your mom’s brownies. While the ladies are sitting around, Vicki announces that Brooks is back and Tamra’s visibly unhappy. Briana doesn’t know yet and Tamra previews the giant problem Vicki’s going to have when Briana finds out. Tamra changes the subject and announces that she and Eddie have a wedding date set. Then talk turns to Gretchen just as Gretchen and Slade walk in the door. Next week’s finale is going to be…a lot of Vicki screaming like Vicki screams. Can’t wait! EPISODE TOTAL: +151 SEASON TOTAL: -158
Jamie Foxx donned a t-shirt in honor of slain teen Trayvon Martin at the BET Awards last night. But the actor says he wasn’t make any kind of political statement with the act. “The reason for the shirt is that I met his mom personally… it’s not political, it’s not left, it’s not right, it’s not black, it’s not white, this is about the kid,” Foxx told Kevin Frazier of The Insider , adding: “For all of us, no matter what color you are… I have kids [one who is] 19. I have a kid who’s 4. You want to protect them.” At the MTV Movie Awards in April, Foxx wore a different shirt with the faces of Martin and the children killed at the Newtown shooting on it. Accompanying those images were the words “Know Justice, Know Peace.” The George Zimmerman trial , meanwhile, is underway with the man accused of murdering Martin claiming he acted in self-defense.
This just in: Kelly Clarkson is still totally talented and awesome. During a recent concert stop, the original American Idol – who is reportedly in the running for a judging spot on that show in 2014 – covered Mumford & Sons’ mega hit “I Will Wait.” And if she didn’t outdo the initial version, she at the very least made its creator awfully proud. Watch and listen to Clarkson do her thing now and then listen to her new country track ” Tie It Up .” Is there anything this woman can’t do?!? Kelly Clarkson – “I Will Wait” (Live)
Viva Barcelona! Desiree and the men are in Spain, where there’s sure to be a whole lot of bull, if you know what we mean. Will Drew and Kasey’s plan cause Desiree to send James home? Or will they find themselves rose-less? You can just go read The Bachelorette spoilers or play along with our THG +/- review system! Desiree Hartsock loves everything about Barcelona, especially the churches, and says it’s the perfect place to fall in love. She’s hopeful that she’ll fall “completely,” which is better than halfway? Fresh off of helping Ben get ousted, Michael has jumped on the Anti-James Train. It’s pretty ridiculous. Minus 5 . Drew gets the first solo date card, his first solo date with Desiree. He doesn’t plan to address the situation with James unless there’s time for it. Something tells me there will be time for it. Desiree says that her relationship with Drew has moved more slowly but they’re friends, which is a great basis for a relationship. He jumps right into kissing her and gets that out of the way probably in hopes of keeping himself out of the dreaded Friend Zone. And then he just keeps kissing her every chance he gets because he’s so “crazy” about her. Drew’s hero is his dad who is a recovered alcoholic. He gets a little teary when he tells her about his dad and she gets goosebumps hearing the story. P lus 4 . Desiree says she just trusts Drew. But he hasn’t tattled on James yet, so there’s that. At dinner, she thanks him for opening up to her and he says he’s overcome with emotions which are running crazy. He ushers her away from the dinner table and they try to outrun the cameras for a heated make-out session against a wall in an alley. Plus 40 because HOT. Desiree calls Drew strong and emotional and says he has many of the qualities she’s looking for and then gives him a rose. And then he ruins the moment by telling her about James. Minus 40 because buzzkill. The next day, Drew fills Kasey and Michael in on his conversation with Desiree. Kasey is worried about balancing his feelings for Desiree with what he knows about James. Michael’s worried about his sweatband but has a list of questions ready for cross-examination, I’m sure. Juan Pablo is in his element on the group date, which is a soccer match against one of Spain’s womens’ teams. The guys seem to think they’ll have this game in the bag and completely discount the girls’ ability to play soccer. The trash talking is ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as James “playing” goalie. Dear James, GOALIE. Not GOALPOST. Don’t just stand there! MOVE. Minus 8 At the group date cocktail party, Kasey’s ready to confront James. All the guys are ready to confront James. Except Chris who goes with Desiree to her room where she tells him how athletic he is and then reads him a poem she wrote. Barf. Minus 2 . Chris and Des apparently have their own love scale. Kasey and Michael decide to confront James while Des spends time with Juan Pablo. They ambush him and ask him about his statements that if he made the final four, he could become the next bachelor. He’s shocked. Either because they think he said this or because they know he said it. While that’s happening, Brooks and Des talk about how they’re emotionally invested and in a good space. He’s glad he’s not downstairs for the conversation with James. Since part of me is Team Brooks, I’m also glad he’s not downstairs. Plus 7 Michael jumps into Attorney Mode and James starts yelling. Chris tries to shush them and it doesn’t work. James starts wagging his finger around and denies what Kasey and Drew heard. Vehemently denies. Minus 5 Michael says he sounds like he’s auditioning for the Jersey Shore. James leaves the room. Desiree asks James to stay behind and talk to her and tells all of the guys that she’s not handing out a rose to anyone but she’ll walk them out. Plus 3 for being a good hostess. She feels “blindsided” and decides to grab the bull by his horns to get her answers. He tries to interrupt and she just keeps talking. He tries to put everything on Mikey T. He puts everything on the guys and says they’re only trying to ruin what he and Desiree has because they’re jealous of his connection with her. He starts to cry. She starts to cry. He says it’s tough. She says it’s tough. She needs the night to process and he’s emotionally exhausted. And now I’m exhausted watching the faux-drama unfold. Minus 10 . Michael’s still wearing his Attorney cape while they sit around talking about James as James is riding up in the elevator. They didn’t expect him to walk back in the door. The next morning, James is sitting on the roof all by himself and Zak is preparing himself for his one-on-one date with Desiree. She’s feeling depressed, which means Zak is the perfect guy to go on a date with today. He’s always happy. Plus 10 . They’re going to spend the day doing “artistic” things. So descriptive. They take a sketch class and end up drawing each other. He apparently studied at the Picasso school of Des drawings but it makes her laugh. Plus 12. Their second model is male. And nude. And Des says “I feel like I do heads bigger than they’re supposed to be.” And THAT is the line of the night. Plus 15 . And let’s go ahead and give Zak another Plus 25 for those excellent faces when the model dropped trou. He gets another plus 20 for dropping his OWN trou to make her laugh even more. Zak and Des eat dinner in a cave. It’s actually a wine cellar, but it’s also kind of a cave. He wants a relationship just like his parents have. They’ve been married for over 30 years. But he also wants to continue to experience adventures. He believes his need to explore is why he’s still single. His joy and infectious spirit gets him the date rose. Plus 4. They make out in the pathway that leads back out of the cave. Back at the suite, James asks to speak to Drew. James keeps saying that what he said was that if he made it to the top four and Des cuts him, the worst thing that could happen to him would be that he becomes the next bachelor. Uhhh, James? I’d say the worst thing that could happen to you is that you go home and continue to live a life of obscurity and no one ever knows you were ever on this silly show, but hey, I understand words and apparently you don’t. Drew tells him that even having that thought means that he’s not really here for Des, and while I don’t necessarily agree with Drew, I don’t think James is really here for Des. So. All of the guys except James are sitting around chatting and James walks in. He sits next between Juan Pablo and Michael on the couch and Michael bristles. Brooks scoots over to give Michael a little more room. Minus 5 Des shows up and takes James out to finish their chat from the night of the group date. She believes she needs to send him home but also believes they had something and needs to talk to him about it. Go with your gut, Des. Go with your gut. He talks non-stop for what feels like an eternity and says she’s beautiful and he’s there to fall in love with her and all she hears is everything he’s had an entire day to rehearse. He says this has been hard and he feels more alive than he has and she starts to cry. He does the man thing and says “please don’t cry.” BECAUSE THAT WORKS, DUDE. Minus 8 They start to laugh and she leans into him and they’re sort of snuggling and all the wind is sucked out of Drew’s sails as he sees it. Chris asks James what he and Des talked about like he doesn’t already know. James laughs and says “exactly the situation that occurred.” Except, you know, probably not exactly. Chris is not happy at all. Not at all. You know the two coming out of this smelling like, uh, roses? Juan Pablo and Zak. The two of them have said nada about this entire situation. Plus 9 . Finally, it’s time for the rose ceremony. Finally. No cocktail party. Just straight to the good part. Zak and Drew both received roses on their one-on-one dates. Joining them to continue on to the next leg of this journey are: Chris Brooks Michael And with that, Kasey, Juan Pablo, and James head back to reality. Juan Pablo thought he and Des had a connection and he’s sad. There are legitimate tears. Drew and Michael are more excited about the fact that James is gone than they are anything else and Michael actually says “case dismissed.” Michael, Des? Really? Weird. EPISODE TOTAL: +66 SEASON TOTAL: +326
The third time’s the charm for Tamra Barney! She has the groom. She has the bling. And if the ladies have anything to do with it, she’ll have the dress, too. And Vicki will get some shocking news about Brooks thanks to Lauri, who went away to marry George but has come back again to start trouble because apparently her new life was boring. Silly housewife. Let’s catch up with them now with our THG +/- recap! Tamra meets Eddie at what will eventually, hopefully, maybe be their fitness studio. He’s set up a candlelight dinner on a card table. How romantic! Plus 8. They were supposed to be open weeks ago and there’s still no floor. Eddie’s so not interested in hearing Tamra talk about her Spanx. So not. Fake it, Eddie. Fake it. He asks about the Alexis-Gretchen drama and about Gretchen backing out of dress shopping and says that Gretchen’s being childish. Really, Gretchen’s just being a friend and knows that if she goes she might fight with Alexis and doesn’t want that for Tamra. Plus 3. Heather has another table read! She’s going to read for a guest starring role on Malibu Country . Terry was excited when he heard this time and didn’t crack a joke! Hooray, Terry! You really can teach an old dog new tricks! Plus 5 . Lauri and Vicki show up at Tamra’s and they’ve brought coffee. Lauri thinks it’s funny that Tamra’s getting married for a third time when Tamra cracked jokes about Lauri’s third wedding. Tamra’s previous wedding dresses were maternity dresses. The fact that this one isn’t is a big deal. Plus 8. Lydia believes that “marriage is forever” and says that about Tamra’s pending wedding to Eddie. Except this is Tamra’s third wedding. This one will totally stick! The ladies in the limo discuss Cheeseburger-gate and Slade. Lydia’s not a fan of him at all and calls him a 12-year-old tool. Eh, Plus 12. Gretchen wears her engagement ring from Jeff and Lydia sees it immediately upon Gretchen getting into the limo. Vicki thinks it’s Gretchen’s way of upstaging Tamra. It’s a ring, Vicki. That’s it. Heather and Alexis are at the bridal store when the limo arrives. They’re more than just cordial. They’re nearly chipper. Plus 3 Tamra wants to plan her wedding around the dress. The men helping her try on dresses have nothing but dollar signs in their eyes. Gretchen’s kind of stand-offish because she doesn’t want a repeat of the ladies’ night at the gym to happen in the bridal shop. She’s the only one who seems to be thinking about that. Heather pops the cork on a bottle of champs and Tamra comes out in the first dress. While she’s changing into the second one, Vicki tells Alexis that Gretchen wasn’t coming at first because Alexis was coming. Minus 12. Tamra stood up for Alexis, though, so Alexis plans to thank Tamra for that. She’s so done with Gretchen. So done. Alexis follows Tamra into the dressing room so she can thank her for the invitation. Tamra says that she wanted Alexis there and so she was there. Then in an interview, Alexis delivers the best line of the night. About Gretchen: “When it comes to Gretchen and I, I just wish sometimes Gretchen would eat some of her own makeup so she could become pretty on the inside again.” After Alexis leaves, Lauri says it might be Gretchen next time and Lydia says it might be Vicki. Vicki says it won’t be her. She and Brooks went to dinner and ended everything. His love language is quality time and Vicki can’t give him that since he’s not welcome in her home while Briana and Troy are living there. Lauri says Briana and Michael must have an intuition kicking in and she wants to talk to Vicki at some point. And then she just launches into the information she has about Brooks. Minus 26. He’s dating Lauri’s daughter’s friend. Where dating means probably having sex. With a 21 year old. A 21 year old is probably having sex with Brooks. All the bleach in the entire United States isn’t enough to purge the image of Brooks having sex with anyone from my brain. But a 21 year old?? Minus 75. I have a major case of the heebie jeebies right now. And the dry heaves. Lauri doesn’t have any concrete evidence about the probably sex. She just knows he met the girl at a poker party and he was throwing Benjamins at her. Probably Vicki’s Benjamins . Minus 14. Vicki’s kind of devastated because she still has feelings for Brooks. (Why? He’s a disgusting leech! Who probably had sex with someone his daughter’s age!) The girl Brooks has probably had sex with has made porn videos before. And Lydia says that talking about this feels extra dirty because they’re in a room surrounded by white wedding gowns. Gretchen’s come to life now that Vicki’s been knocked down a peg and Alexis has left. When Tamra comes out in The Dress, they all start to cry a little. Heather makes a toast. Tamra says the dress costs $10,000. Yes, 4 zeroes. This one better be worth it. Tamra wants to take a picture of herself and the ladies, and Vicki has to walk away and cry for a minute. She can’t get herself together. Lydia and Lauri go to console her and Lauri says she feels like she’s always the messenger. Well, Lauri, that’s because so far you are. Minus 8 . After shopping, the ladies head to dinner. Tamra finds out that Brooks broke up with Vicki. Then Lauri fills her in on the probably sex Brooks probably had with an under 21 year old girl. Heather asks if Vicki really needed to know the information. Lauri would want to know. Lydia says she would want to know. Heather wouldn’t want to know. Vicki comes back to the table and they order tequila. Plus 9. After a visit from the chefs, Heather tells the ladies about her possible recurring guest-starring role on Malibu Country and Lydia says she’s gone from “Fancy Pants” to “Fancy Outfit.” Gretchen told Tamra that she had been offered a spot on Malibu Country and Heather says that the casting director denied ever offering Gretchen anything of the sort. Oops? Tamra’s pissed about catching Gretchen in this lie. Heather says there’s a chance she’s colossally confused, but Vicki calls her a liar about half a dozen times. Lydia feels squicky talking about Gretchen when Gretchen isn’t there and Lauri feels like this is a giant case of pot meeting kettle for Vicki given all the lies she’s told. Tamra’s also upset that she opened up to Gretchen about her life and now Gretchen’s lying to her. Bad form, Gretchen. Bad form. EPISODE TOTAL: -87 SEASON TOTAL: -190
The third time’s the charm for Tamra Barney! She has the groom. She has the bling. And if the ladies have anything to do with it, she’ll have the dress, too. And Vicki will get some shocking news about Brooks thanks to Lauri, who went away to marry George but has come back again to start trouble because apparently her new life was boring. Silly housewife. Let’s catch up with them now with our THG +/- recap! Tamra meets Eddie at what will eventually, hopefully, maybe be their fitness studio. He’s set up a candlelight dinner on a card table. How romantic! Plus 8. They were supposed to be open weeks ago and there’s still no floor. Eddie’s so not interested in hearing Tamra talk about her Spanx. So not. Fake it, Eddie. Fake it. He asks about the Alexis-Gretchen drama and about Gretchen backing out of dress shopping and says that Gretchen’s being childish. Really, Gretchen’s just being a friend and knows that if she goes she might fight with Alexis and doesn’t want that for Tamra. Plus 3. Heather has another table read! She’s going to read for a guest starring role on Malibu Country . Terry was excited when he heard this time and didn’t crack a joke! Hooray, Terry! You really can teach an old dog new tricks! Plus 5 . Lauri and Vicki show up at Tamra’s and they’ve brought coffee. Lauri thinks it’s funny that Tamra’s getting married for a third time when Tamra cracked jokes about Lauri’s third wedding. Tamra’s previous wedding dresses were maternity dresses. The fact that this one isn’t is a big deal. Plus 8. Lydia believes that “marriage is forever” and says that about Tamra’s pending wedding to Eddie. Except this is Tamra’s third wedding. This one will totally stick! The ladies in the limo discuss Cheeseburger-gate and Slade. Lydia’s not a fan of him at all and calls him a 12-year-old tool. Eh, Plus 12. Gretchen wears her engagement ring from Jeff and Lydia sees it immediately upon Gretchen getting into the limo. Vicki thinks it’s Gretchen’s way of upstaging Tamra. It’s a ring, Vicki. That’s it. Heather and Alexis are at the bridal store when the limo arrives. They’re more than just cordial. They’re nearly chipper. Plus 3 Tamra wants to plan her wedding around the dress. The men helping her try on dresses have nothing but dollar signs in their eyes. Gretchen’s kind of stand-offish because she doesn’t want a repeat of the ladies’ night at the gym to happen in the bridal shop. She’s the only one who seems to be thinking about that. Heather pops the cork on a bottle of champs and Tamra comes out in the first dress. While she’s changing into the second one, Vicki tells Alexis that Gretchen wasn’t coming at first because Alexis was coming. Minus 12. Tamra stood up for Alexis, though, so Alexis plans to thank Tamra for that. She’s so done with Gretchen. So done. Alexis follows Tamra into the dressing room so she can thank her for the invitation. Tamra says that she wanted Alexis there and so she was there. Then in an interview, Alexis delivers the best line of the night. About Gretchen: “When it comes to Gretchen and I, I just wish sometimes Gretchen would eat some of her own makeup so she could become pretty on the inside again.” After Alexis leaves, Lauri says it might be Gretchen next time and Lydia says it might be Vicki. Vicki says it won’t be her. She and Brooks went to dinner and ended everything. His love language is quality time and Vicki can’t give him that since he’s not welcome in her home while Briana and Troy are living there. Lauri says Briana and Michael must have an intuition kicking in and she wants to talk to Vicki at some point. And then she just launches into the information she has about Brooks. Minus 26. He’s dating Lauri’s daughter’s friend. Where dating means probably having sex. With a 21 year old. A 21 year old is probably having sex with Brooks. All the bleach in the entire United States isn’t enough to purge the image of Brooks having sex with anyone from my brain. But a 21 year old?? Minus 75. I have a major case of the heebie jeebies right now. And the dry heaves. Lauri doesn’t have any concrete evidence about the probably sex. She just knows he met the girl at a poker party and he was throwing Benjamins at her. Probably Vicki’s Benjamins . Minus 14. Vicki’s kind of devastated because she still has feelings for Brooks. (Why? He’s a disgusting leech! Who probably had sex with someone his daughter’s age!) The girl Brooks has probably had sex with has made porn videos before. And Lydia says that talking about this feels extra dirty because they’re in a room surrounded by white wedding gowns. Gretchen’s come to life now that Vicki’s been knocked down a peg and Alexis has left. When Tamra comes out in The Dress, they all start to cry a little. Heather makes a toast. Tamra says the dress costs $10,000. Yes, 4 zeroes. This one better be worth it. Tamra wants to take a picture of herself and the ladies, and Vicki has to walk away and cry for a minute. She can’t get herself together. Lydia and Lauri go to console her and Lauri says she feels like she’s always the messenger. Well, Lauri, that’s because so far you are. Minus 8 . After shopping, the ladies head to dinner. Tamra finds out that Brooks broke up with Vicki. Then Lauri fills her in on the probably sex Brooks probably had with an under 21 year old girl. Heather asks if Vicki really needed to know the information. Lauri would want to know. Lydia says she would want to know. Heather wouldn’t want to know. Vicki comes back to the table and they order tequila. Plus 9. After a visit from the chefs, Heather tells the ladies about her possible recurring guest-starring role on Malibu Country and Lydia says she’s gone from “Fancy Pants” to “Fancy Outfit.” Gretchen told Tamra that she had been offered a spot on Malibu Country and Heather says that the casting director denied ever offering Gretchen anything of the sort. Oops? Tamra’s pissed about catching Gretchen in this lie. Heather says there’s a chance she’s colossally confused, but Vicki calls her a liar about half a dozen times. Lydia feels squicky talking about Gretchen when Gretchen isn’t there and Lauri feels like this is a giant case of pot meeting kettle for Vicki given all the lies she’s told. Tamra’s also upset that she opened up to Gretchen about her life and now Gretchen’s lying to her. Bad form, Gretchen. Bad form. EPISODE TOTAL: -87 SEASON TOTAL: -190
