Here’s Kendall Jenner pretending to be a real fashion model for some new photoshoot for Vogue , and look, she’s not doing as bad as some of her fellow rich kid/fake models. But I’m pretty sure that’s just because Kendall’s way hotter than the rest of those wannabes. Also, she appears to know how to do more than one face for the cameras. Hey, it’s not exactly a high bar to clear.
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Can you believe that it’s been nearly three months now since Kylie Jenner and Tyga broke up ? At first it seemed too good to be true, and now … well, it still seems that way. It’s just that Tyga has always been so gross, and even if he and Kylie stayed together for years, he’ll always be a guy in his mid-20s with a child who hooked up with a young, impressionable teenager . And, much like a phoenix, Kyga has always had the ability to rise from the ashes after being destroyed. They could get back together at any time, and we need to be prepared for that. It’s just all very creepy, and we’re still not out of the creepy woods, that’s what we’re saying. Oh, and speaking of creepy things and Tyga and Kylie’s mutual obsession with each other , have you heard his new song yet? It’s called “Playboy,” and it really, really sounds like it’s about the littlest Jenner — and like Tyga is not even remotely over her yet. For instance, in the hook, Tyga brags about having the tenacity of a porn star and a drug dealer, because he’s such a catch, right? Then he goes “She a superstar and got it bad for me.” “If I hang up she call right back to me, you cut her legs off she crawl right back to me.” Name one other girl who could possibly be considered a “superstar” that’s ever given Tyga the time of day. You can’t, can you? Tyga also gets pretty graphic in the song, rapping about how in addition to this girl keeps crawling back to him , “she really crawl, lift my balls and lick the whole sack for me.” If you’re not dead yet, there’s more. “If I ain’t poppin’,” he asks, “why the paparazzi flashin’ me? Can you answer me? I call it playboy tenacity.” We call it “weaseling your way into the Kardashian family and using their fame for your own gain,” but sure, whatever. Another line that seems to be about Kylie is “More money, more problems but the money make it better. I ain’t tryna f-ck and that just f-cked her head up.” It sounds like the whole song is about a girl who simply can’t seem to help herself in coming back to Tyga, over and over again. She’s got it bad, she can’t get over him, she keeps crawling back to him and gets upset if he won’t pay attention to her. If that isn’t the saddest, most accurate description of Kylie Jenner, then what is? View Slideshow: Tyga: 15 Times He Proved He Was a GIANT Dirtbag
It’s been almost three months since Kylie Jenner and Tyga broke up for the 47th and final time, and it seems that Kylizzle is having no trouble leaving her Z-list ex in the past. According to various sources, Kylie is dating Travis Scott these days and the couple is reportedly moving at breakneck speed. But Kylie is still a member of the Kardashian-Jenner clan, which means she’s comprised of roughly 85-90% pettiness. So when the opportunity to remind an ex of what he’s missing out on arises, you better believe Kylie’s gonna take it. That’s a photo from Kylie’s latest ad campaign for her famous, eponymous lip kits . Words fail us at times like these, so we’ll simply quote America’s current poet laureate Kendrick Lamar, who once remarked, “Damn.” Racy Kylie Jenner selfies are pretty much a daily occurrence on Instagram, but this is some next-level sh-t. Not only is a lot of skin even by Kylie standards, what we’re looking at her is no mere selfie. For starters, it’s the work of a professional photographer, which means a lot more thought went into than the typical ‘Gram post. On top of that, it’s intended to promote Kylie’s lip kits, and we can’t help but notice that lips aren’t really the focal point here. The whole thing has led many fans to the conclusion that the photo was inspired more by a desire to torture T-Raww than a need to promote Kylie’s already wildly popular cosmetics. Kylie emulates her older sisters in many ways, and she’s likely learned a lot by Kourtney Kardashians subtle acts of revenge against Scott Disick. After years of being used, neglected, and manipulated by the Lord, Kourtney decided to launch psychological warfare with unusually risque selfies as her only weapon. Which means Scott loses and the rest of the world wins. So is Kylie taking a page from her older sister’s playbook here? We may never know. All we can do is hope she sticks with this tactic. Oh, and that Tyga doesn’t go off the deep end quite as badly as Scott did. That’s never fun to watch. View Slideshow: Kylie Jenner Selfies: A Kandid Kollection
It seems like every time you turn around, Tori Spelling is facing another lawsuit for not paying someone an enormous amount of money. And, well, that’s because it’s true. For the past several months, Tori and her husband, Dean McDermott, have been hit with one lawsuit after another, all because they are absolutely incapable of being responsible with money. We know that they’re in trouble with the IRS , since they reportedly haven’t paid taxes in years. Last July, we learned that they owed the government over $700,000 in taxes, just for 2014. In addition to their IRS issues, Tori and Dean have been sued by their credit card company , American Express. Twice. Back in October, Tori was ordered to pay her overdue balance of nearly $38,000, and then in November, she was sued for an additional $87,000. On top of all that, Dean owes his ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace, thousands of dollars in unpaid child support. He owed her so much money that he nearly went to jail over the case. Oh, and they also have five children, including a brand new baby they welcomed in March. Sounds like things can’t get any worse, right? If you think that, you obviously don’t have enough faith in Tori Spelling’s ability to fail. Now, in addition to the tax stuff, the credit card lawsuits, and the serious issue with the child support, Tori and Dean owe their bank $220,000. What a nightmare. A terrifying but completely preventable nightmare. Tori and Dean have been dealing with City National Bank for a while now, since they neglected to pay off a $400,000 loan from 2010. They still owe $185,714 on the loan, as well as around $3,000 extra in interest and late charges. The bank also sued for an additional $17,149, which is the amount Tori overdrew back in September. Remember back in college when you overdrew your account by a few dollars and freaked because of the overdraft fees? These are obviously lessons that Tori has never learned. Tori and Dean were required to come to court on May 22nd to respond to the lawsuit, but they didn’t, and that’s how the bank got their $220,000 default judgement . It’s hard to calculate exactly how much debt these two are in right now, but it’s probably safe to say that it’s a whole, whole lot. Those storage units hardly seem worth it now, huh, Tori?
There's so much to process in this clip. We're talking about a show where only one or two things happen each season, basically. But this preview takes you on a journey. And makes you cringe. There are monkey noises . We've already shown you Kendall Jenner freaking out over Caitlyn's memoir. Would it really be a Keeping Up With The Kardashians clip if it didn't have some awkwardness, some affectionate racism, and at least one of them acting absolutely nuts? Let's go through it, because there's a lot to unpack. Okay, so Keeping Up With The Kardashians shows Kris hanging out with Corey Gamble , Kim, and Khloe Kardashian , while on vacation in Jamaica. On its own, that's a pretty run-of-the-mill rich people thing to do. You don't have to be rich to go on vacation, to Jamaica or otherwise, but wealth is a requirement if you want to vacation like this family does. Though … if you already live in a desert climate like California, it's sort of odd that you'd go to yet another hot place to vacation, but whatever. If the Kardashians made sense, no one would watch them anyway, right? So even this short clip serves as a reminder that their taste in humor is . . . questionable at best. So it's not one of the “mon” jokes, but Kim's “Jamaica No Problem” shirt has us smacking our damn heads. Fun fact: it's generally considered tasteless and even rude to parody the way that people speak, especially when you're talking about a disenfranchised minority or culture. Naturally, Khloe makes it worse by suggesting that she could wear a shirt that says “Jamaican Me Crazy.” Get it? Because we all get it. Even if it weren't problematic, it would just be a bad joke. It's a bad joke, Khloe. We don't expect for either of them to find out why their behavior makes others uncomfortable. They live in a bubble. Kim then diverts attention to her favorite topic — Kim — by not-so-subtly kicking her leg into the air. You'll notice a teeny-tiny pink bug bite on her leg. Don't get us wrong, bug bites are no fun, but most people treat them with a topical antihistamine if at all. Apparently the Kardashians use, um, alternative medicine: water from a lagoon. We'll stick with actual medicines. No offense. Kim then demands to know if Kris Jenner is acting as some sort of snake oil salesman and, instead of giving her mineral water to use, is giving her something way, way grosser and less sanitary. She straight-up asks Kris if the water that she's been giving her is her toilet water, as if that's something that anyone but an absolute monster would give to their child. Yes, there are stories of people using … ugh … urine to treat wounds, especially on the beach, but it's usually not a good idea and in some cases can lead to infections. Turns out that modern medicine usually knows better than old wives tales. Who knew? Last but not least: the monkey nonsense. You have to wonder a couple of things — the first being if this show has just desperate for storyline. Countless hours are always left on the editing room floor — though not literally, since everything's digital — but somehow this nonsense made it in? But the other thing that you have to wonder if what the hell Kris Jenner herself was thinking? Like, this would be fine if she were entertaining her grandchildren. She isn't, though. She's around a bunch of grown-ass adults and she knows that she's on camera. Has she just given up? You'll have to watch it for yourself to decide that.