A post shared by Jessica Alba (@jessicaalba) on Feb 15, 2017 at 3:39pm PST Here’s a little boomerang dance featuring Jessica Alba and some other chick…because why the fuck not… A little hip shake that got her the career she had…only with more clothes on cuz she’s a mom….and has a brand to protect… A little slut gleam in her eye that got her the career she had before leveraging it into a billion dollar brand…. Because you can put the slut into the housewife with tons of staff / nannies and cooks to get by….but you can’t take the slut out of her soul…. There’s no way that Alba’s not out there fucking all the movie producers she can despite being married…she’s an actor, not a very good one, but an actor…and what you see of her is all an act…and like all actors..she’s probably on an Academy award mission, and the way to do that is to just keep fucking people in the industry…it’s good for ego…while her Husband…sits and waits for her to come home….the billion dollar brand is just bonus… The post Jessica Alba Dancing Minute of the DAy appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
This cunt bled all over it’s white yoga pants…because period is a woman’s obligation and they shouldn’t hide it with a tampon that can kill them via Toxic Shock syndrome…or a bulky pad that men will judge them for…even though I’ve never laughed at a girl wearing a pad…or made them feel insecure….I am still a believer that men will fuck anything, hairy, fat, bleeding or not…and the whole Be Ashamed thing is just stories women tell women in the grocery store and washing machine store…. The only thing annoying about period blood is when it ruins sheets, mattresses and YOGA pants…. But this girl has it all figured out – use your period for a purpose to liberate yourself…like period blood artists…only in blood soaked pants and everyone will celebrate like it’s so shocking….knowing it’s planned, contrived makes it hilarious… I’ve been with girls in white bikinis who get their periods on car seats and no one got mad about it, bed sheets ruined no one has got mad about it, I’ve been covered in period blood like it was tribal war paint and no one got mad, yet women have this narrative that men find blood gross – only if it comes from a vagina…while I think men just think it’s gross because it is blood…but try arguing that with a woman..they are women…and thus experts…even though every dude I know has fucked a period….at least once…and avoid it or pretend to be grossed out by it – to ensure…blowjob… That said, I think men should start wearing white pants and shitting themselves…because we shit…often times daily…we can do it for the little boys in India not toilet paper…since women don’t like to eat our shit covered asses…it’s only fair…as we walk around in shame after we shit…and use air freshener and try to go fast so our dates don’t think we are shitting…. Here is her poem you can jerk off to while watching the video, I find it a funny message that is targeted to get more followers than to really have any other purpose… She’s angling hard…new feminsm is so fake. I am a woman, therefore, I bleed. . It’s messy, it’s painful, it’s terrible, & it’s beautiful. . And yet, you wouldn’t know. Because I hide it. . I bury things at the bottom of the trash. I breathe, ragged and awkward through the cramps, all the while holding onto this tight lipped, painted on smile. . Tampons? What are those. We don’t say those words out loud. Hide them. In the back pocket of your purse, in the corner of the bathroom drawer, at the very bottom of your shopping cart (please let me get a female cashier). . Events or engagements get missed. I’ll tell myself it’s the PMS, sure, but it has more to with the risk of being “caught,” at what…I’m not quite sure. . And I’m lucky. . Over 100 million young women around the globe miss school or work for lack of adequate menstrual supplies, & fear of what might happen if the world witnesses A NATURAL BODILY FUNCTION. . WHY? . Because hundreds of years of culture have made us embarrassed to bleed. Have left us feeling dirty and ashamed. . STOP PRETENDING. Stop using silly pet names like Aunt Flo because you’re too afraid to say “I’m bleeding” or “vagina.” Stop wasting so much effort hiding the very thing that gives this species continuity. . START talking about it. Educate your daughters. Make them understand that it can be both an inconvenience and a gift, but NEVER something to be ashamed about. Educate your sons so they don’t recoil from the word tampon. So when a girl bleeds through her khaki shorts in third period (pun intended), they don’t perpetuate the cycle of shame and intolerance. . The post Period Yoga Instagrammer of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
It must be cinco de mayo or some shit, maybe it’s that these women like to eat tacos, or maybe they are doing some dodgy tax evasion tactics down in Mexico, or maybe it’s just Jennifer Aniston’s 100th birthday, where she brought down her good friend Jessica Alba for the party and Hilary Duff’s thick legs she brought on the beach, since it’s a close flight to LA, and celebrities love jerking each other off and hanging out since they’ve got nothing better to do as they work, and get overpaid for their work, 6 weeks out of the year like a bunch of fucking scamming bums….bums…that are in bikinis…in some 90s blast from the past you can’t help but love… Maybe they aren’t even together on this trip, even if these people all like hanging out together as it is good for PR…while hating each other…because they are actors and self involved and hate the competition….Mexico is a huge country…they could all be in different zones, but it is safe to assume that no matter where they are they can get the purest cocaine available since they don’t need to deal with all the shit cut with cleaning detergents you find in America after it has made way across the border wall trump built….all while eating some damn tacos…because tacos are awesome…that I think Hilary Duff needs more of….while I try to stare at hers… The post Hilary Duff vs Jessica Alba vs Jennifer Aniston in Bikinis in Mexico of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that most of you dudes probably don’t have a subscription to Women’s Health Australia , so you might have missed seeing one of our favorite MILFs Jessica Alba on this month’s cover. But don’t worry, I’ll save you the trip Down Under to pick up a copy: here’s the beach shoot she did for the mag. And no, I’m not sure why they didn’t get Jessica to do one of her patented bikini booty poses either. That would’ve made a great cover shot, if you ask me.
[jwplayer player=”1″ mediaid=”202517″] I’ve heard all kinds of stories about how horny Jessica Alba is….which makes sense…despite never being naked in her shit movies…but then there’s the whole being knocked up a bunch of times…which one could argue is a woman’s plight, being a mom isn’t slutty..but it could be because she was so banged out she couldn’t get another abortion…or maybe it was because she’s just so horny and wanted to see what the real meaning off all that sex that normally left her empty but that got her a career was all about..or maybe…she just wanted to see what a huge object going out of her instead of into her was like… EITHER way, it’s been pretty lucrative for her, that vagina of hers and even this mom thing has done her well..and she still out there being fit, hot, despite being old…..posting crotch shot videos in what I like to think is an invitation….like “hey I’m in NYC – FILL ME”…so if you are a pro athlete like Derek Jeter with all his herpes….her favorite..reach out… The post Jessica Alba’s Mom Crotch of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
Bella Thorne and some instagram model had a horrible New Years eve kiss, but it was probably the biggest day in the instagram model’s life because she got tagged by Bella Thorne on such a big day…in what must be the peak of her social climbing…good hustle…I am sure her ego and attitude as an instagram model is substantially more annoying today…. Bella Thorne was also in a bikini with these girls, her sister, etc, and it was a very skimpy bikini, I watched some of it on snapchat randomly, because a girl I know was scrolling snapchat to see what every asshole was doing, or pretending to do on New Years Eve, to polarize their life and seem interesting, and Bella and her 18 or 19 year old confusingly not fully slutty, but slutty enough to get noticed, hot young body, that has millions of followers…was in this bikini and I was like…this porn generation that grew up on porn and self promotion really get it…good hustle grils.. Childhoods robbed of them….but taught them what matters…being liked by people who can pay….making them vain and vapid brats thanks to having so much pressure on them to get cast….plus they have these parents who are willing to get them everything they need to live the dream… It really is wonderful because I get to watch on like the pervert I am…and I enjoy that.. Another Jon Benet of her generation, just not dead…and she’s fun to look at…especially when I can see the hang of her pussy in her tight bottoms… The post Bella Thorne’s Least Attractive New Years Kiss and Other Bikini Adventure of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
These are some weird pics of Alba…from a real creeper angle…I love it…because Jessica Alba is amazing, from garbage actor – to garbage brand ambassador – to billionaire…it just proves that if you have a good team and look good, anything is possible in a world where no one has standards, or taste, or expectations, and all are just lazy people who buy into simplistic marketing, so that they can be like everyone else….it’s worse now than ever…but Alba, despite being a mom of 5 kids, is better than ever…despite being old…and I’d say it’s due to the elasticity in her Mexican skin, but if you’ve been to Mexico, you’d know most moms of 5 are 300 pounds of pure corn tortilla..tortilla that she doesn’t eat. But the fact is that having kids is supposed to be suicide, the end of a bitch, the day she throws in her vagina, and really Alba may have a mangled vagina, but her career exists, she’s still hot enough to jerk off to, and that defies science and everything I know…and I can’t make sense of it, so I just stare at it…since no one cares about whether I can make sense of anything or not…I’m just that irrelevant.. The post Jessica Alba’s Bikini of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
Costumes From Boots Bellows, Kate Hudson And Bette Middler’s Halloween Parties We haven’t seen any photos of Drake in a Halloween costume so far — but this pumpkin colored Esprit sweatsuit is pretty festive don’t you think? His dad definitely got in the spirit though, donning a drum major uniform for a party at Bootsy Bellows along with his little bee bae. You like? Kate Hudson threw a party at the crib, while Bette Midler threw an event at the Waldorf Astoria in NYC. Hit the flip for the photos of Kelsey Grammar, Leonardo DiCaprio, DeAndre Jordan, Sacha Baron Cohen, Isla Fisher, Emma Roberts, Evan Peters, Jessica Alba and more in costume. AKM-GSI/SplashNews
We live in a world where Charlotte McKinney, someone no one has ever really hear of, and if they have they don’t really care that they’ve heard of her, if anything the only people who would actually care that they’ve heard of her are a very narrow population of pervert dudes who like big tits….I am sure even they don’t actually care about her…yet she exists….enough to go to Jessica Alba parties in LA to promote bullshit, where she waits in line to work the photobooth…as hard as she can so that the brand puts the pics out there for added social media hits…I am assuming lame as fuck big tits McKinney and her busted face were paid, maybe in gift cards, probably because all these events are nonsense run through agencies that have no clue,… We’ll assume she wasn’t paid very much….to play with her tits…in what they’d probably call “make it organic, like you’re not getting paid to be here”…before saying “why the fuck do we pay people to come to our parties, do we really have that much money, I knew a kid who’s mom would pay people to go to his birthday party, we always felt sad for him as we collected our 20 dollars, is this the adult version of that…no not that kind of adult…I mean “GROWN UP” not porno…yes, I know she looks like a porn star, well with a face like that you’d think even with those tits porno would be the only answer, I guess she knows rich and connected people…” Yes..this is stupid…top level instagram hooking, but check out the titties on this cheesy monster… The post Charlotte McKinney’s Sideboob at an Alba Event of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
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