Tag Archives: jessica-lowndes

Notice Jessica Lowndes – Instagram Model of the Day

Jessica Lowndes is a Canadian actress, who is barely an actress, but who did go Hollywood after getting cast for 90210, a show that gave these girls these massive egos when it was released, riding off the first iteration of the show’s success, getting these girls to all the parties…only for no one to actually care, the show got canceled, they were thrown to the street pretty much unhireable… So what was this little ego to do, she couldn’t crawl back to Canada with her tail between her legs…it’s too cold in Canada and everyone will know she failed…so instead, she got fake tits, tried to launch a music career that went no where, all while maintaining a fit body, because that body was the only way to get work, and by work, I mean rich guys to pay her rent..now that she has no income… The music career didn’t go well, so she’s turned into an instagram model, and I try to ignore her, she puts pics like this everyday….and sometimes I just crack..because the level of pathetic loser, coupled with implants and round asses in thongs…is hot to me…because she knows, she’s not overrated, but that she barely exists…and that’s exciting times.. The post Notice Jessica Lowndes – Instagram Model of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Notice Jessica Lowndes – Instagram Model of the Day

Jessica Lowndes Works It In Canned In A Bikini Top

Usually when I think of the Cannes Film Festival, I think of a bunch of stuffy movie premieres. But I guess I was wrong, because there’s definitely nothing pretentious about these pictures of  Jessica Lowndes walking around in a bikini. Yum. Anyway, I’m not entirely sure what Jessica was doing at a film festival but right now, I’m not complaining. I missed that pushed-up cleavage of hers. Here’s hoping she sticks around all week. Photos: WENN.com

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Jessica Lowndes Works It In Canned In A Bikini Top

Jessica Lowndes Top 5 Tips to Getting Famous of the DAy

I know you don’t know who Jessica Lowndes is, but here is The Jessica Lowndes Top 5 Tips to Getting Famous….even though she’s not quite famous…but she’s trying and as pathetic as trying to be famous is…it is still funny.. 1- Get on a TV show in Canada with Drake, or any where you are from, because Local market TV is good for the resume. 2- Get on a TV show in America, no matter how bad it is…just get on it. 3- Use being on that show as an excuse to attend any and all events, because the show marketing budget translates back to you, and after the show is cancelled, you’ll still have those social media fans… 4- Decide you are a singer….record songs no one listens to, release videos no one watches…. 5- Turn into an instagram whore, get implants, post tits, and ass…because tits get hits and hits get you paid motherfucker… Then fuck a producer….Pretty basic stuff… The post Jessica Lowndes Top 5 Tips to Getting Famous of the DAy appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Jessica Lowndes Top 5 Tips to Getting Famous of the DAy

Jessica Lowndes Top 5 Tips to Getting Famous of the DAy

I know you don’t know who Jessica Lowndes is, but here is The Jessica Lowndes Top 5 Tips to Getting Famous….even though she’s not quite famous…but she’s trying and as pathetic as trying to be famous is…it is still funny.. 1- Get on a TV show in Canada with Drake, or any where you are from, because Local market TV is good for the resume. 2- Get on a TV show in America, no matter how bad it is…just get on it. 3- Use being on that show as an excuse to attend any and all events, because the show marketing budget translates back to you, and after the show is cancelled, you’ll still have those social media fans… 4- Decide you are a singer….record songs no one listens to, release videos no one watches…. 5- Turn into an instagram whore, get implants, post tits, and ass…because tits get hits and hits get you paid motherfucker… Then fuck a producer….Pretty basic stuff… The post Jessica Lowndes Top 5 Tips to Getting Famous of the DAy appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Jessica Lowndes Top 5 Tips to Getting Famous of the DAy

AshleyInLA Near Death Experience of the Day

A video posted by AshleyInLA (@ashleyinla) on Mar 13, 2015 at 1:05pm PDT AshleyInLa is either a comedic genius, or a really really dumb sugar baby in LA, who hangs with rich dudes and Playboy models alike…. She just posted this video of a “near death experience”…..she was strangled by her sleep shirt, which is not like being strangled by some creepy rich dude shoving your panties down your throat, but strangled neverther less, and and she could have died…which may not be scary for me or any of the other obese people who are reading this thanks to Apnea….but must have been terrifying for these tits in a a see through shirt… The post AshleyInLA Near Death Experience of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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AshleyInLA Near Death Experience of the Day

Canadian Fame Whore Sided Tit of the Day

Jessica Lowndes has it all figured out. Get on a TV show in Canada, leverage that to get on a TV show in America, get the work Visas sorted out, make a bit of money and get some level of success or celebrity as the network pushes the garbage show out to the world with marketing…and turn that into instagram hooker who gets in bikini and shows tits…and all the really really basic, and even desperate stunts people do to get some level attention and the funny thing in all her desperation is that she probably makes more money than any of you assholes, and clearly, she lives a much better life…but we can still laugh at her basic thirsty girl tricks…like side tit…because we know how the internet works… TO SEE THE PAPARAZZI’S RENDITION OF HER CLICK HERE The post Canadian Fame Whore Sided Tit of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Canadian Fame Whore Sided Tit of the Day

Jessica Lowndes’ Juicy Cleavage Show

It’s been a while since we’ve had Jessica Lowndes and her famous pushed-up cleavage on the site, but since I’m always happy to make room for an old favorite, here’s Jessica’s funbags at a Moet & Chandon event honoring Roger Federer’s 1,000th Career Win. Funny, I don’t remember any companies throwing me a fancy party with hotties to honor my 1,000th career blog post. Oh well, I guess there’s always my 1,000,000th career dick joke, right? And at this rate, I should probably hit that milestone later this month. Better start planning that party now, guys… And make sure to invite Jessica, will you? » view all 14 photos Photos: WENN.com

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Jessica Lowndes’ Juicy Cleavage Show

Canada Fame Whore Goes Hiking in LA of the Day

Here is a Canada Fame Whore that I think should remain nameless, because it is funnier like that. I’ll give you hints as to who she is, but before I do, I want to make it very clear that she does not matter…. She left Canada to be on some 90210 the remake, that show got canceled to no one’s surprise, it was a horrible fucking idea…and after being on the show, the 5 minutes of fame disappeared, but she stayed in LA to pursue her dream, because why the fuck not… I’m sure she went to castings, got nothing, and figured she’d do the instagram whoring, figuring she already had a head start thanks to being on TV… So she got some breast implants and copied the instagram whores before her…”oh I’m in a bikini, here’s a mirror selfie, watch me workout, let me make my booty pop”…kind of thing…and here she is working out…because I like fame whores, even if she’s a miserable fucking person…trying too hard…she’s slutty about it and that’s good. The post Canada Fame Whore Goes Hiking in LA of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Canada Fame Whore Goes Hiking in LA of the Day

Katie Holmes Old Scary Face of the Day

I am always amazed when I look at Katie Holmes and see what looks like a 50 year old mom…her hard battered face that has seen some shit and escaped that shit…and by shit I mean Scientology…something that is very secretive and that leverages your secrets so that you never leave them and keep giving them money…even if the overall lessons of Scientology are to work out, look good and be positive…the backend of it is apparently evil…not that I know anything about scientology, I am just basing it all off of her face… That said, I was never a Katie Holmes fan, I didn’t watch Dawson’s Creek, because I have a penis…and I found that shit to cater to people who don’t have penis….I did like the one nude scene she did where she was dead and underwater while naked…because it make me question my love for tits being so deep rooted that I’d jerk off to a dead bitch…because TITS… Well now, she just looks like old melting face pile of shit…and for some reason I was compelled to pot this…a reason I don’t know because I generally avoid the over 30 crowd… The post Katie Holmes Old Scary Face of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Katie Holmes Old Scary Face of the Day

Brooke Burke’s in a Bikini of the Day

Brooke Burke must be pushing 50 by now, and I don’t mean pushing 50 kids out of her pussy, I think she’s closer to around 5, I mean pushing 50 in age, old as fuck…but still rocking a hot body…because I guess when you’re a 90s Playboy chick, turned Wild On host, Turned first season of Dancing with the Stars winner, you have a commitment to your fans, who are probably some of the weirdest people in the world, because honestly, even if you were into her on Wild On, you’ve gone on with your life and forgotten her…so the people still around…are the kind of weirdo people you probably chatted with in chatrooms when chatrooms were a thing and not facebook…..you know sad, possibly disabled…freaks.. Either way, she’s doing a photoshoot, and her mom pussy is covered up so you can focus on her low estrogen thanks to menopause abs from working out all day…which aren’t so bad if there isn’t a younger girl around to stare at…you know the kind of mom on the resort vacation with the “girls” who you try to fuck because the rest of her friends never recovered from the baby weight due to cake… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Brooke Burke’s in a Bikini of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Brooke Burke’s in a Bikini of the Day