Tag Archives: Jessica Simpson

TV Bites: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Get Their Own Newlyweds Show

Jessica Simpson Is A Work In Progress

After yesterday’s boring pictures of Jessica Simpson hitting the town in her lame New Kids On The Block t-shirt , I thought she might step it up a little to get noticed. She didn’t, if anything she’s made it worse. Here she is in a Willie Nelson t-shirt and some pants that make her look like a fat chick. Come on. You’re better than this. My readers come here to see hotties like you in tight little outfits with cleavage hanging out not dressed like their chubby girlfriends. You’re making me look bad.

Jessica Simpson Can’t Hide Her Fat with Her Purse of the Day

These Jessica Simpson fat as fuck pictures hit close to home. Not because I am used to being let down by pussy I found hot…but because I have seen various women in my life kill their sex appeal like it was a bad friend who was trying to steal from them by eating their fucking faces off….mainly my wife…who was actually not so bad looking before she married me…but for some reason she just decided to start eating, to stop moving, and to never stop until she exploded…..and it is one of life’s great tragedies…. I saw the different phases of emotional eating until you turn into a fat fucking piece of shit that scares little kids and disgusts everyday people cuz it’s just not fucking human and Jessica Simpson is textbook. It starts with a few pounds from one too many deserts….to slowly enough weight people start noticing…to strategic dressing so that people can’t tell just how fat and disgusting you are…from covering your gut with your purse, to wearing ill fitting pants hoping it’ll make you slim the fuck down like Jessica Simpson in these pictures.. to not giving a fuck and stuffing your fucking face cuz you’ve officially given up…developing diabetes, having limbs removed and smelling like shit no matter how long you shower cuz some places are just too hard to reach….. It’s amazing what getting divorced, having failed relationship after failed relationship, having a failed record, having your younger sister go on to do all the things you wanted to do when she was always in your shadow and you were always the focal point can do to a bitches spirit….and I’d still fuck her…but I have no standards…and fat or not, she’s still Jessica Simpson….while my wife is just fat and nobody and I still fuck her….but I don’t think jerking off to these pics is right…unless you’re black…in which this bitch is right where you need her to be….and that’s enough of that. Here she is in ill-fitting pants… Here she is covering up her fat stomach with her purse…. Pics via Fame Pics via Bauer

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Jessica Simpson Can’t Hide Her Fat with Her Purse of the Day

Jessica Simpson: New Kid on the Block

Proving she is her own best model, and that you never know what you’re going to get from the Jessica Simpson pictures you find on a given day, the alleged singer and actress showed off vintage New Kids on the Block T-shirt. The occasion was her promoting her new line of jeans in N.Y.C., and the soon-to-be 30-year-old cutie paired the items with a slick black blazer. What do you think of her latest fashion statement? Vote below! Jessica Simpson’s New Kids on the Block shirt is …

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Jessica Simpson: New Kid on the Block

Jessica Simpson Isn’t Doing Anything Exciting

Here’s Jessica Simpson hitting the town last night in a nice pair of jeans. That’s it, no nipples, no lady business… Nothing. What the hell am I supposed to write about this crap? I think she’s pretty and her hair looks nice? That’s just lame. Ok I’ve got it, she’s wearing a New Kids On The Block t-shirt, I’d like to be the new kid on her block and by block I mean vagina……. I’m dying over here.

Ashlee Simpson Reminds Jessica Simpson That She Sucks of the Day

Not only has Ashlee Simpson landed a man…or what is marketed as a man…but she’s also got married, had kids, relaunched her career, but most importantly…is not a fat slob eating away her sadness from how life has wronged her with her gay Yoko Ono trying to force feed the donuts down her throat so that he gets all the glory…Take that Jessica Simpson…Remember when Ashlee was the latch on sister who felt insignificant in your shadow. Revenge is Bittersweet… Pics via Fame

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Ashlee Simpson Reminds Jessica Simpson That She Sucks of the Day

Anna Faris’ Cuteness Even Bores Herself

I was kind of hoping that these pictures of Anna Faris in a short denim skirt would have been a little hotter, they’re actually pretty lame, so lame in fact that even she’s yawning in a couple of the shots. She’s cute and all, but it would have been nice if maybe she’d show off her sweater puppies in a tight little top or maybe spend a few minutes walking up and down stairs for the cameras. Just a thought.

Simon Cowell’s Top Five ‘American Idol’ Moments

We look back at the judge’s meanest, funniest and most truthful comments. By Eric Ditzian Simon Cowell Photo: M. Caulfield/American Idol 2008 While the ostensible point of Wednesday night’s “American Idol” finale was to decide the fates of Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox , the evening’s spotlight returned again and again to Simon Cowell . Before the acerbic yet somehow lovable British judge left to jumpstart another Fox show, “Idol” celebrated his nine seasons of work with video segments, comedic bits and an appearance by former judge — and frequent Cowell sparring partner — Paula Abdul. We’re gonna miss the guy, with his ludicrously unbuttoned dress shirts and surly witticisms. It’s an open question whether the show can survive without him, especially coming off a season that almost everyone can agree was lackluster at best and soul-crushing at worst. We worry about what “Idol” will be like without Cowell there to speak the truth in that inimitable style of his. As Simon Cowell leaves us behind — not to return until late in 2011 with “The X Factor” — MTV News took a look back at the most memorable moments from his “Idol” tenure. The Kiss : For years, Cowell and Abdul’s half-flirty, half-cruel, entirely entertaining relationship was the most riveting element of the show. Good singers and horrible singers came and went, but there was always Cowell and Abdul alternating between acting like a bickering married couple or elementary-school-aged siblings. In season two, they filmed a skit that hilariously brought everything out into the open: They’d been carrying on a secret affair the entire time. And to prove it, they shared a sloppy kiss over a dinner of champagne and whipped cream. No matter that it turned out to be Simon’s dream (or nightmare). The Bush Baby : Cowell’s judging style has always toed the line between scathing and inappropriate. The audition phase of the contest always brings out Simon’s prickly side, and during season six, he ended up going too far with his insults when he ripped contestant Kenneth Swale (a.k.a. Kenneth Briggs). “You look a little odd, your dancing is terrible, the singing was horrendous, and you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with the massive eyes,” Cowell told him. “What are they called? Bush babies.” Not cool, Simon, not cool. “You’re sick,” Abdul told him. The Teletubbies Attack and the Sweetheart Swipe : “Idol” contestants go insult-for-insult with Cowell at their own peril. Shoot, even Ryan Seacrest has courted danger when he went after the Brit judge. Simon abuses people for a living — the guy knows what he’s going. But one night on season six, both a contestant and Seacrest came out on the winning end of a battle with Cowell. It all got started when Cowell told Chris Sligh, “I kinda felt I was at some weird student gig.” One of his finer insults this wasn’t, and he followed it up by condescendingly calling Seacrest “sweetheart.” “Don’t call me sweetheart,” Ryan responded. “We don’t have that kind of relationship. I don’t want that kind of relationship.” Perhaps feeling emboldened, Sligh then pulled out an insult that referenced two of Cowell’s more embarrassing career achievements. “I guess my only question is, like, obviously audiences think that this kind of music is very popular right now,” he said. “And what I have to say right now is just because I don’t sing Il Divo or Teletubbies doesn’t mean I’m not a good singer.” The Bigger Stage : When in doubt, Cowell resorts to insults about a contestant’s appearance. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s just plain mean. One night in season five, it was both. After Mandisa Hundley delivered a killer take on Alicia Keys’ “Fallin’,” Cowell waited until the singer had left the audition room to zing her. “Do we have a bigger stage this year?” he asked. “She’s like Frenchie,” Abdul added, referencing the season-two plus-size singer. “Forget Frenchie, she’s like France,” Simon quipped. And All Those Other Insults : Who are we kidding? It’s impossible to choose just five moments from this guy’s “Idol” career. There are simply too many deliciously vicious insults. Here are a few of our favs. To season three’s Ashley Thomas: “What that reminded me of when I was sitting here was, like, instead of being on the stage of ‘American Idol,’ you’re at a local rodeo, you’d just being crowned the prom queen, and it was like the song before you lasso a bull.” To season five’s Bucky Covington: ”I’ve got to talk about this Jessica Simpson hairstyle. I mean, seriously, that has got to go!” To season five’s Bobby Bennett: “If you hear a scream from a hotel room in Las Vegas, that’s where Barry Manilow’s watching this show. … Horror films entertain me. You know, it’s a different kind of entertainment.” To season six’s Haley Scarnato: “Can I tell you the problem? Do you know what I said to Paula halfway through the song? I don’t know your name.” To season seven’s Ashley Lawing: “I’m going to steal your dog.” To season seven’s Kristy Lee Cook: “You sounded like Dolly Parton on helium.” Share your favorite Simon Cowell insults in the comments below. Get your “Idol” fix on MTV News’ “American Idol” page , where you’ll find all the latest news, interviews and opinions. Related Videos ‘American Idol’ In 60 Seconds Related Photos ‘American Idol’ Top 10 Male Hotties

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Simon Cowell’s Top Five ‘American Idol’ Moments

Jessica Simpson’s Chubcakes Hit The Town

Jessica Simpson took her new curves and sweet chubcakes to some event the other night, I wasn’t invited as her guest so I can’t be bothered to find out what the event was. I can only take these non-invites for so long before I’m going to start to think that Jessica wants nothing to do with me. There’s only so much a guy can take, I’m giving her 1300 more chances, but after that I think I’m going to really have to reevaluate our relationship. Call me.

Simpson vs. Simpson: Who’d You Rather?

Filed under: Ashlee Simpson , Jessica Simpson , Who'd You Rather? Biological sisters Ashlee Simpson-Wentz , 25, and Jessica Simpson , 29, enjoyed some family bonding time on the red carpet of a West Hollywood event last night. Question is … Read more

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Simpson vs. Simpson: Who’d You Rather?