Tag Archives: Joke

Kim Kardashian Reunited With Her Father of the Day

Everyone makes a big deal about Kim Kardashian’s Armenian father and his death, especially Kim Kardashian, because a girl losing her father is such a tragic thing that leads to vapid, souless daddy issues. Maybe people care because he would be so disappointed with the fact that she grew up to be a little whore using her inheritance she got becasue of his hard work. Or maybe because whores in orthodox Armenian homes are frowned upon, or maybe But by the looks of these pics she posted to twitter, he’s still alive and kicking…..her stage dad, the Lawyer, was just AN ARMENIAN HORSE BREEDER WHO WENT TOO FAR ….I mean it would explain her body hair, her size, her ass, and her love for huge black horse cock…. This joke, was a fail.

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Kim Kardashian Reunited With Her Father of the Day

That’s Not Chicken: Mike Tyson Describes The Taste Of Evander Holyfield’s Ear

The OTHER white meat… Mike Tyson Describes The Taste Of Evander Holyfield’s Ear This guy is the epitome of pure comedy . It’s been almost exactly fifteen years since the infamous rematch between Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield. The bout has become known for the crazy moment when Tyson bit off a chuk of Holyfield’s ear. It’s a moment Tyson has been asked about consistently since then, and his appearance on “Watch What Happens: Live” (Sun.-Thu., 11 p.m. ET on Bravo) proved no different. During host Andy Cohen’s “Plead the Fifth” segment, he was asked point-blank what human ear tasted like. Tyson is so used to the topic coming up by this point that he barely reacted at all. Instead, he quipped,”Depends on which ear that you bite.” Tyson ultimately admitted that it doesn’t taste too good, leading Cohen to crack a joke that it might have needed Holyfield’s Hot Sauce. “That would’ve been a delicacy,” Tyson agreed. Holyfield had cracked the joke about his new product on the anniversary of the infamous bout, Tweeting that his hot sauce “will make u wanna take a bite out of someone’s ear! Ask @MikeTyson – Luv ya bro!” Apparently when the checks stop coming in , it’s the laughs that bring in the money. Source

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That’s Not Chicken: Mike Tyson Describes The Taste Of Evander Holyfield’s Ear

INTERVIEW: Tyler Perry on Retiring Madea and Searching for Deeper Meaning in Witness Protection

It’s easy to dismiss the films of Tyler Perry , undisputed king of a niche multi-media empire of his own making, as broad, caricature-laden comedy populated by what Spike Lee famously labeled “coonery buffoonery.” But beneath the be-wigged, slapstick-y heft of Perry’s most famous character, Madea, and her often violent crusades in the name of family values — as seen in Friday’s Madea’s Witness Protection , the sassy grandmother’s seventh big-screen outing — lies a fount of subversive discussions of race, class, and self-examination. The only question is: Is Tyler Perry aware of it? Perry, who dons the Madea dress once more in Witness Protection (grudgingly so, he tells Movieline — more on his mixed feelings about Madea below), wrote and directed the comedy after hitting upon an idea over dinner: What if Bernie Madoff had to move in with Madea as punishment for his fiscal crimes? Eugene Levy stars as a Wall Street accountant who agrees to testify against mobsters involved in a Ponzi scheme, only to be ushered, along with his family, into protective custody – Madea’s house, to be more precise. It’s there, in this fish out of water set-up, that Perry plumbs more thoughtful ground. Economic responsibility is a theme, as Perry draws a direct line between the privileged suits that run the world’s financial institutions and the working class plebes whose life savings are often at stake. Race and class divides become blurred as Levy’s Jewish-American family finds common ground, and perhaps even stronger ties, with their equally uncomfortable hosts (Perry as both Madea and her cranky brother, Uncle Joe). There’s just one thing about all the considered socio-cultural conversations seeded in the subtext of Witness Protection : Perry admits that he didn’t set out with any conscious agenda other than making himself laugh. “I just thought, ‘This is funny,’” he told Movieline, adding “What’s so great is that these thoughts that you’re raising for me, I will be thinking about.” Read on as Tyler Perry talks with Movieline about his Madea character, why he is eager to retire her – if his audience will allow it — what he has to say to his critics, and why he jumped at the chance to play the lead in his forthcoming mainstream crossover pic, Alex Cross . Especially compared to the more melodramatic tone of Big Happy Family , Madea’s Witness Protection is different in terms of its themes and characters — what sort of ground did you want to explore this time around? I was actually having dinner with a friend and they said, “You know what would be great punishment for Bernie Madoff? If he had to move in with Madea.” So I took that thought and ran with it, just the thought of it made me laugh so hard. I said, “Let me write this — and who can I get to play it?” I thought of Eugene Levy. So the whole tone of this movie is about, if everything was taken away from you and you had to be forced to live a very simple life and focus on what is real, which is his family, how much would you change? Another interesting new element, especially given your oeuvre of primarily African-American characters, is that this is a story about what might be considered “white people problems” — these are rich, country-clubbing suburbanites who are probably at the farthest remove from Madea’s world. [Laughs] Yes, right. And the story seems to be saying that one group’s problems are really everyone’s problems, certainly economically speaking — Eugene Levy’s character is involved in a financial scam that inadvertently has stolen money from Romeo’s church, for example. Sure. There’s also a plot thread that suggests Eugene’s character might be half-black, which interestingly brought that point home even more — aligning the black and Jewish cultural experiences together, in a sense. How much were these unifying themes present for you in the process of making the film? [Laughs] You’re trying to make it seem like I’m so smart! And that I did not even think about. I just thought, “This is funny — this is funny if they think Uncle Joe and [Eugene Levy’s mother] had a one-night stand and he thinks he’s his son.” I wasn’t even thinking at all about any of that. Well, go ahead and run with it! Be my guest. I will! You delve into economic awareness and the avoidance of victimhood, with many of your characters dealing with the repercussions of these Wall Street scandals trickling down into their lives. One of the elements I admire in the Madea character is that she seems to be a proponent of personal responsibility, throughout the films. Wow, again — I wasn’t thinking that either! What’s so great is that these thoughts that you’re raising for me, I will be thinking about. All I was doing was writing a simple story, I didn’t get into the subconscious of it. For me, after Colored Girls and Alex Cross and Good Deeds I wanted to do something where I just laughed. Even with Madea’s Big Happy Family , where one of the characters had cancer, I just wanted to do something where nobody’s sick, we’re all going to just laugh and have a good time, and remember why family is important. I heard that Madea might be ringing the NASDAQ bell … [Laughs] That I’d like to see! I don’t know who’s going to be playing Madea, but I’m going to be busy that day. There are moments in Witness Protection that almost have a guerrilla-style Borat feel — the scenes with Madea in New York City, discovering different parts of her posh hotel in particular. There’s a real improvised feel to them. And there’s an outtake at the end involving Madea phoning down to the concierge to inquire about the bidet that’s pretty hilarious. Yeah, but you know what the thing about that is? I’ve never seen Borat , but thinking about my mother and the first time she went to a really nice hotel, or the first time she had to go through an airport. So a lot of those things didn’t take me going very far to imagine or to create, because it is very much what is close to, or what has happened to, my own family. Have you ever considered doing the Madea character as a sort of faux documentary along the lines of what Sacha Baron Cohen has done with Borat — just putting her out into the world to capture the way people react to her? The only problem with that is, I would have to be in costume out in the world, and that won’t work for me. [Laughs] If I take Madea off the stage or have to put her in a room, I’m telling you… I am so uncomfortable in that costume. I can barely look at myself, I certainly don’t want other people looking at me. Really? Oh, yeah. You’ve voiced a similar sentiment before about the character and the costume — it seems like she may not be your favorite character to play, but you keep coming back to playing Madea because your audience loves her. Absolutely. One hundred percent. It is definitely about the audience and it’s also about the amount of joy she brings to people, and the amount of people that she keeps employed. So absolutely, that’s what it’s about. But I would be pretty good with passing it on. What’s behind your mixed feelings about Madea? Is it as simple as being uncomfortable in the costume? The costume is so difficult to wear. It’s so tight. I’m sweating, it’s hot, with the wig — it’s all just a pain. Everybody on staff on the crew knows that once I get into costume, they’ve got to be hustling, moving lights, because I don’t want to have it on — I’m ready to take it off. And Joe is worse! Joe is like being wrapped like a mummy all around your face. That’s right. At least Joe doesn’t usually move around much, he seems to mostly just sit in his easy chair. That’s why! I’m like, listen — I’m not about to sweat this stuff off and have them put it back on for another 6-8 hours a day. I’m not doing that! Do you have a shelf life in mind for Madea, or do you think you’ll draw a line at playing her after a certain point? Well, you know what, it really is about the audience. As long as they want to see it I think it would be unfair for me to do anything but deliver. But whenever they stop coming, then Madea will retire to an island. You’ve received criticism over the years for the Madea films in particular. What is your response to those who accuse these works of perpetuating certain stereotypes? You know what, I’ve stopped trying to defend that stuff. I don’t even deal with it anymore. I like to let the audience speak for themselves. We all know what we like, we all know what we like and how we like it and what we want to see, and I think that it’s awful that we as black people – and this is where most of the criticism comes from, it comes from within our own culture — that we are so ashamed about certain parts of our society, about our own culture, that we want to act like it doesn’t exist. But this woman exists. I still know her. She is still in my neighborhood. She was my mother and my aunt. She didn’t go to an Ivy League school, and she took care of the whole family. So it’s not a stereotype, it is a part of our culture that we all need to embrace. I do have a critic friend who watched the film and took issue with Madea’s violent streak — her tendency to threaten corporal punishment to those who don’t act reasonable in her eyes. That says more about your friend than it does about the character. That’s what I think. I’d like to discuss what we might call Madea’s history lessons in this film — there is a scene in which Doris Roberts struggles with the difference between using the term “Negro” instead of “Negro spirituals.” The other characters, who are white, are horrified by this, but then Madea comes in and tells them they’re all being too uptight about it, before firmly but gently correcting her. Are you by proxy telling your audience that maybe we’re too uptight when it comes to discussing these sensitive racial and historical issues? [Laughs] Let me tell you something, you are so deep into this movie, you are reading things that I never even thought about or imagined. Because in that scene, what I’m thinking is, this woman has dementia. She’s trying to say “Negro spirituals” but she keeps saying “Negroes.” I’m thinking it’s a hysterical joke because I laughed my ass off when I wrote it, and I laughed my ass off when she did it, and when Madea corrects her — because everybody’s panicked that she’s saying “Negroes” and they don’t understand that she’s trying to say “Negro spirituals” — it’s like, calm down, get an understanding of what she’s saying before everybody jumps off the handle. I feel like that taps into a larger discussion of your films, even, and the idea that you’re working within a very specific niche. But looking to what you have coming up next, you’re starring in Alex Cross , an action thriller adapted from James Patterson’s novel. Did you see this as an opportunity to cross over from your established niche into a wider mainstream audience? No, I never do things to think about crossing over. The thing that appealed to me was that I always liked James Patterson’s books and I liked the franchise and the character itself. When it came to me out of all of the things that I’m offered — I’m offered quite a bit — that was the most intriguing. I thought, “Wow – this is a character that I like,” and I wanted to do it. That’s what that’s about. Madea’s Witness Protection is in theaters Friday. Follow Jen Yamato on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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INTERVIEW: Tyler Perry on Retiring Madea and Searching for Deeper Meaning in Witness Protection

Big Lebowski 2 Fake News Fools The News

It’s a big day for reputable news outlets to make a fool of themselves. First CNN announces that SCOTUS spiked Obamacare, now CBS Los Angeles is announcing a greenlight on a film — The Big Lebowski 2 — that anyone with an ounce of common sense knows is not real. Picking up on a story from SuperOfficialNews.com (which sources “The Ass Press”) CBS Los Angeles invites fans of The Big Lebowski to “lift up your white russian!” According to the post, Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, John Turturro, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Julianne Moore are allegedly on board for a Lebowski sequel called The Big Lebowski 2: The Dude Goes To Washington . The premise has it that the local bowling alley is being turned into a parking garage and only The Dude’s son (Jesse Eisenberg), as the world’s youngest Congressman, can help. No diss to SuperOfficialNews.com, whose other joke pieces include Pat Robertson announcing he is gay and Facebook announcing a for-pay “gold account” , but this one is so… not-really-all-that-funny that I guess one could be forgiven for thinking it is real. Nevermind that the Coen Brothers have basically disowned The Big Lebowski , repeatedly shrugging off its cultural importance at press events and refusing to involve themselves in the ever popular Lebowski Fests. If you recall, when the only news source more trusted than SuperOfficialNews — Tara Reid — mentioned she was doing a Lebowski sequel, the Coen Brothers publicly scoffed at her . The CBS Los Angeles piece has no byline, but I imagine the author might deflect with “new shit has come to light” or “lotta ins lotta outs, lotta what have yous.” If they raised their voice in defiance, a quieting “calmer than you are” might be the only retort. [ CBS Los Angeles , SuperOfficialNews ]

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Big Lebowski 2 Fake News Fools The News

Courtney Stodden for Twitter of the Day

Courtney Stodden is a clown….she lies about her age…pretends she isn’t 30….pretends her tits are real…pretends to be a child bride…but in being this joke/joker who produces funny shit….she’s also half naked…and any bitch half naked for attention is a friend of mine, even if I want to punch them in the face and/or cunt cuz they piss me off…. Here are some recent twitter pics of hers…cuz she’s half naked showing her stripper moves like the champ she is.

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Courtney Stodden for Twitter of the Day

‘Dark Knight Rises’ And The Most Epic Movie Awards Reveals Ever!

Before Sunday’s Batman sneak peek, we list five of the all-time best. By Josh Wigler, with additional reporting by Jim Cantiello Christian Bale in “The Dark Knight Rises” Photo: Warner Bros. UNIVERSAL CITY, California — “The Dark Knight Rises” is still over a month away from hitting theaters, but you’ll get a brand-new look at the hotly awaited superhero flick this Sunday during the 2012 MTV Movie Awards . We’re presenting exclusive footage from the film during the show, though the specifics remain under wraps — exactly as the mysterious Batman would want it. “I was put in a room, the door was locked, I was handcuffed, I had a bag over my head, the bag was revealed, they pressed play on the DVD, and I’m sworn to secrecy — but I’m telling you, it’s good,” Movie Awards director Hamish Hamilton told MTV News when we asked him about the “Dark Knight” footage. As we said: mysterious — but presumably awesome. Indeed, if Movie Awards history tells us anything, the “Dark Knight Rises” footage will be a beautiful sight to behold. Our annual awards show has a strong track record when it comes to rewarding viewers and attendees with cool, exclusive sneak peeks at the coming year’s hottest flicks. From sparkly skinned vampires to robots in disguise, here are five of the all-time best Movie Awards footage premieres: “Twilight” (2008) The first look that started a phenomenon. In 2008, we unveiled the first complete scene from “Twilight,” featuring superstars-in-the-making Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in their most iconic roles to date. It was an action-packed scene, too, ripped straight out of the climax of “Twilight” where Bella is being brutalized by bad vamp James — until a certain pale-skinned mega-hunk flies in to save the day. “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” (2009) Eventual outcome aside, our excitement for “Revenge of the Fallen” ahead of the movie’s release was through the roof. And we were equally psyched to debut an exclusive clip from the second “Transformers” movie at the Movie Awards in 2009, showing Shia LaBeouf’s Sam Witwicky and Megan Fox’s Mikaela Banes fighting for their lives against a Decepticon spy. Just as exciting was our exclusive reveal of the Fallen himself. LaBeouf gave MTV News the exclusive first details about the monstrous villain that more than whetted our appetite for the film to come. “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” (2010) Even if it wasn’t a box-office hit, “Scott Pilgrim” remains one of our favorite flicks from 2010 — and our excitement hit an all-time high when we got a first look at the film at the 2010 Movie Awards. The scene, presented by director Edgar Wright, centered on heroic loser Scott’s battle against the second (and most famous) of Ramona Flowers’ evil exes: Lucas Lee, the skater-boy celebrity played by eventual “Captain America” star Chris Evans. It was our first fully formed look at Wright’s frenetic vision, and the scene shown at the Movie Awards ended up being one of the highlights of the final film. “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1” (2011) Just as we were the first to bring the beginning of “Twilight” to the masses, so too were we there for the beginning of the end. The first trailer for the “Twilight” finale’s opening act — “Breaking Dawn – Part 1” — premiered at last year’s Movie Awards and was met with all the fanfare you’d expect. Twilighters oohed and ahhed over the first glimpses of Edward and Bella’s hotly awaited wedding, not to mention gratuitous shots of shirtless Jacob Black. The “Breaking Dawn” trailer was the talk of the Movie Awards that year. Though it had to share some of the spotlight with … “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2” (2011) “The boy who lived … come to die.” The wicked Lord Voldemort’s cruel words sent shivers down fans’ spines when a brand-new clip from the “Harry Potter” finale premiered at last year’s Movie Awards. Easily one of the greatest footage reveals in the show’s history, if not the greatest, this look at “Deathly Hallows, Part 2” rocked the “Potter” community to the core for showing such a pivotal scene so far in advance of the film’s theatrical release. Harry’s walk through the Forbidden Forest to meet his maker at the hands of You Know Who stands out as one of the strongest scenes in “Potter” history, and we’re thrilled to have been able to supply fans worldwide with their very first look. Head over to MovieAwards.MTV.com to vote for your favorite flicks now! The 21st annual MTV Movie Awards air live Sunday, June 3, at 9 p.m. ET. Related Videos Behind The Scenes At The 2012 MTV Movie Awards

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‘Dark Knight Rises’ And The Most Epic Movie Awards Reveals Ever!

Fifty Shades Of Fun.? Rockers Tease Movie Awards Set

Fun. call tonight’s Movie Awards performance ‘a real good extension’ of their mega-successful 2012. By Jocelyn Vena, with reporting by Jim Cantiello Fun.’s Nate Ruess Photo: John Shearer/Invision for MTV When Fun. are joined by Janelle Mon

In White Folks With Black Kids News: Jillian Michaels Totes Lil Lukensia Around Town And Talks About Why Her Baby Girl Is So Shy

Jillian Michaels was spotted carrying her lil girl Lukensia around Malibu after making a Starbucks run. The fitness guru recently talked to US Weekly about how her little girl is so shy after being confined mostly to an orphanage for the early part of her life: “I’ve been to Haiti on and off since I was 27. I met her a year ago on a trip visiting orphanages for All Blessings International, an organization I work with,” Michaels, 38, tells Ladies’ Home Journal’s July issue. “I was visiting this one orphanage and the next thing I knew she jumped into my arms. She just grabbed me and clung to me and I immediately felt something. I was like, ‘Oh my God, this is my daughter.’ “ But adopting Lukensia was not an easy process. The baby girl had already been placed with a family in Germany, but it didn’t work out. “I do think there’s a certain amount of fate involved,” the former Biggest Loser trainer explains. “Life has a way of working out the way it’s meant to.” Now, Michaels and her partner, Heidi Roades, 31, are the proud parents Lukensia and son, Phoenix, who was born on May 3. And their children have two very different personalities. “He is the calm one. Patient. She is a firebrand,” Michaels shares. “Actually, she’s incredibly shy. She’s clever and adventurous, but it’s kind of heartbreaking because you have to understand she has been here since she was 9 or 10 months old. She’s now 2 and the only time she left the orphanage [prior to the adoption] was when I would take her to the Haitian guesthouse where I stayed nearby.” We’re happy Lukensia is in a good home now, but it seems like we either read a new article or see photos of Jillian every other day now. Is she trying to promote adoption — or something else? GSIMedia

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In White Folks With Black Kids News: Jillian Michaels Totes Lil Lukensia Around Town And Talks About Why Her Baby Girl Is So Shy

Twitter Files: Brian McKnight Gets Gully And Fires Shots At Chris Brown, R.Kelly, And Floyd Mayweather

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Twitter Files: Brian McKnight Gets Gully And Fires Shots At Chris Brown, R.Kelly, And Floyd Mayweather

More Crappy Mom-dom…Drunk Pregnant Woman Leaves Kid In Car To Get A Belly Ring

Drunk Pregnant Mother Locks Child In Car To Get Piercing Take a number, we got another crappy mom coming through. This woman is the triple dipper: drunk, locked baby in the car and being a grown a$$ woman getting a belly button piercing. Dope. Oh and pregnant so that’s a grand slam. Score. An alleged drunk pregnant 20-year-old was arrested for DWI in front of her child after she tried to get a piercing in north Houston. It happened on the North Freeway just south of Tidwell. Police say Stephanie Irene Santana, who is seven months pregnant, drove to a tattoo parlor to get a piercing and told the tattoo artist she wanted to know how long it would take, since her baby was waiting in the car. Employees told police they could tell the woman was drunk and kicked her out of the store. One employee followed her out and that’s when he saw the one-year-old in the passenger seat. He says the woman passed out with the front door of the car wide open. “I knew she was stumbling. I knew she was on something,” tattoo business employee ‘Yogi.’ “I don’t assume nothing and that’s why I turned her down.” When police arrived, they found beer bottles inside the diaper bag. They also discovered Xanax. The child was not injured. Santana faces multiple charges, including child endangerment, DWI and possession of a controlled substance. Source

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More Crappy Mom-dom…Drunk Pregnant Woman Leaves Kid In Car To Get A Belly Ring