TWITTER: www.twitter.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com MERCH: www.districtlines.com FAN PAGE! www.facebook.com 2nd CHANNEL: www.youtube.com Kyle: www.youtube.com Anthony: www.twitter.com LYRICS Why did you drug me? You’re under pressure Two friends at your party and they brought no women What about Heather? She’s working double shifts and she told you not to text her Hey now. You know friend… We both know what you can do Drop a drug in one of your friends drinks and literally knock him out use his face as a pen and paper to lavish with drawings of penis’s and other paraphernalia Why did you drug me? We could be drinking We could watch South Park or shit on doorsteps Instead you drugged me, you arrogant asshole ruining my life with permanent ink I don’t know if you guys care but, I have feelings too Gimme a time or place, I even brought three steaks yet you ruin my face, knock me with a date rape Only go to first base but no girls in this place I’m the butt of the joke, and I suddenly awoke There’s a couple damn things I gotta explain to you I have work at 8am now I have to call in sick No idea how I’ll explain to my boss why my cheeks are covered with dicks This is outta line like duuuude I’ve known you since I was two Ask me which side I like best, well here’s a fuckin clue, clue, clue Friends that I used to trust, til you wrote on my face Does that say Oprah? Guess it’s funny to take pictures of me and upload them to Instagram for people to see You’ve got some issues man … http://www.youtube.com/v/RF7nXm4GfHE?version=3&f=videos&app=youtube_gdata Read more: JUSTIN BIEBER “AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME” (MUSIC VIDEO PARODY!)
The Mayan calendar was off the mark today. December 21, 2012 is here and so are we. What a JOKE. On the plus side, at least after the end of the world doesn’t happen today, we can stop reading about it, right? One wonders why we ever even did. “There’s no real prophecy that says this is the end of the world,” said Christopher Powell, a noted Mayan archeologist, told ABC. “Not from the Mayan ruins, anyway.” The Archaeological Institute of America adds, “Whatever the significance of the date is, it is significance we put on it; it’s not the significance the Maya put on it.” “It’s not coming from anywhere in literature or hieroglyphic writing.” Over at Discovery, physicist Ian O’Neill wrote “there’s no evidence to suggest the Mayans believed the end of their Long Count calendar would spell doomsday.” NASA’s apocalypse video also totally shoots it down hardcore. So how did this global obsession/nonsense even start? The Maya, who lived in Central America between A.D. 250 and 900, had a cyclical calendar that ran approximately one human lifetime, or 52 years (life was shorter back then). To account for events more than 52 years away, they devised another calendar, one that ran 5,126 years, and apparently began in the year 3114 B.C. The math: 5,126-3,114 = 2,012. “I believe the Mayan calendar was based on some incredibly good astronomy, said Lawrence Joseph, author of Apocalypse 2012. “They were really good at knowing when.” “They weren’t so good at saying what’s going to happen then.” But does any Mayan calendar really predict anything? Mexico’s National Institute of Anthropology and History said, “Western messianic thought has twisted the vision of ancient civilizations like the Maya.” It said the Maya believed time started and ended with regularity, with nothing apocalyptic. O’Neill blames the marketing campaign in 2009 that promoted the Roland Emmerich disaster movie 2012 for propagating the Mayan Doomsday legend. “It’s almost like you’re out there looking for evidence of a looming apocalypse,” said anthropologist Wade Davis of the National Geographic Society.” “I think it also ties into a lot of uncertainty that exists in our world today.” That uncertainty is definitely real, and it is called the fiscal cliff . It’ll still be there in the morning, too, most likely. Apocalypse happening today: Yes No Unclear View Poll »
Guess the joke is on us…?? Djimon Hounsou Admits That He And Kimora Lee Simmons Were Never Married As we reported earlier this week, Djimon and Kimora finally announced to the public that they are getting a “divorce” , but that isn’t exactly what is going to happen… According to PEOPLE It’s over for Djimon Hounsou and Kimora Lee Simmons. “Djimon Hounsou and Kimora Lee Simmons have officially separated after 5½ years,” the actor’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively. “Though never married, they have one child together, Kenzo Lee Hounsou, who is 3½ years old.” “There have been quite a few hurtful rumors circulating. The truth is Djimon + I have been separated for some time,” Simmons Tweeted Wednesday. “We have remained happy, loving, co-parenting friends + family. We all have much to be thankful for.” Welp, at least there won’t be any long, drawn-out, divorce proceedings, and Djimon gets to keep the couple dollars that he came with. All’s well that ends well… Image via SplashNews
Ti West ( House of the Devil , The Innkeepers ) delivers a slow burn with a killer pay-off in his contribution to this weekend’s horror anthology V/H/S , a road trip-cum-nightmare starring fellow indie veterans Joe Swanberg , Sophia Takal, and Kate Lyn Sheil. Before departing to Georgia to film his next feature, The Sacrament , West rang Movieline to discuss his V/H/S short, filmed on the road with a camera and no crew other than his three actors, how to recreate their L.A.-to-the-Grand Canyon V/H/S adventure, the creative struggles involved in making personal independent films at increasing scale, and — of course — the magical phenomenon that transforms strangers into compatriots within the confines of a karaoke bar. What was your first reaction to the idea of a found footage anthology horror movie and how did you find your way into your segment? I don’t have a real aversion to found footage but they told me the idea and I thought, ‘I don’t know.’ But I went on a road trip and in the back of my mind I was like, ‘Do I have any ideas for this thing? I don’t think so.’ But by the end of the road trip I realized the road trip I went on was the idea. So I put together this paragraph and emailed them thinking they’d probably say no but they liked it, and within a month I’d gotten Joe and Sophia and Kate flown to L.A. and we rented a car and went back on the exact same road trip that I had just been on, and made the movie along the way at all the spots I’d been. So it was really weird but similar to The Innkeepers in the sense that on House of the Devil we stayed at the hotel and went back to the hotel to make [ Innkeepers ]. I realized on this that’s probably a trend for me. I went on this trip and I thought, ‘I have an idea based on something I just lived – let’s go do that.’ That is most unusual. Joe and Sophia had never seen the Grand Canyon and I was like, ‘We can see that along the way, it’s pretty amazing!’ We were able to have a fun experience and make a movie. That was a lot of the motivation behind it, to sort of not have such a terrible time. Was it literally just the four of you? No additional crew or anything? Yes – it was the four of us, that’s it. We had nothing. No lights, no nothing. We didn’t even have a boom. I was curious how that worked since Joe and Sophia are also directors, actors, editors – they’ve got experience serving multiple roles in front of and behind the camera, which must have helped. That’s why I cast them, because I knew if I were to give them a camera and send them out to do something with some ideas, they’d be able to handle it. Did you write a script or give them more broad scenarios for them to play out? There was a pretty specific outline, although I didn’t write dialogue. They read that then when we got there I said, ‘Here’s what we’re going to do, here’s what I want to happen…’ I would shoot it or if I couldn’t shoot it I would be like, ‘Sophia, I want you to do these things with it – do it however you want, but make sure you get this, that, and the other thing.’ Then Kate and I would go hide in the bathroom of the hotel room and they would shoot, and when they were done I’d come out and watch it and go, ‘Let’s do it again, but focus more on this and that…’ We’d do three or four takes, and we’d do everything in big long chunks and that was it. Then we’d go do karaoke in Flagstaff. Are you kidding? How was the karaoke out there? Oh, we did so much karaoke on this movie. Every night. There was actually one night where we decided we needed to work a little extra the next day because we’d been doing too much karaoke. Well, you’ve now ruined road trips for the rest of us. You should map out the V/H/S road trip so people could take the tour in real life. It’s a great trip from L.A. You can do it in a weekend. If you’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, it’s incredible. You can’t overhype it – it sounds like something that would be cool but when you actually stand there it’s kind of breathtaking. It’s pretty amazing. What was the Wild West town you guys shot in, where Joe and Sophia get their fortune out of the machine? With the donkey? That’s on the way. Oatman. If you’re ever on your way to Arizona, Oatman is the town to stop in. It’s a weird little town and kind of tricky to get there because you take one road essentially out to Arizona and along the way everything runs parallel to the main road. There’s this one section where that town is where you have to go through all these weird mountain switchbacks and it’s kind of a dangerous drive, and you come down a hill and boom, there’s this little town. It’s very Wild West, there are donkeys that roam the streets. You’ve got to go to the Grand Canyon and you’ve got to go to Flagstaff. The town that’s near both of those places, Williams, Arizona, is a tourist trap but there’s something really appealing about that area. It’s also really scary because there are a lot of weird meth hitchhikers everywhere. It’s cool. I’m into it. You’ve done so much horror but you’ve also said you don’t necessarily want to be known as a horror specialist. What is it about the genre? Why do you think you’re so good at scaring people? Do you see the potential for terror in every normal, everyday situation? Well, maybe. Why I’m interested in it, I don’t know, but as far as an ability to do it, it’s like telling a joke. You can tell a joke and make the whole room laugh and then someone can tell the exact same joke and it just bombs – even though it’s verbatim, it’s the delivery of it that made it work. For whatever reason, I can just tell this joke. I’m able to read the room and do it that way. I don’t know where it came from or why I’m interested in it. I think I might be a slightly dysfunctional weirdo and that could be part of it. But it wasn’t my goal to do this. I enjoy doing it, and these are the movies that people will give me money to make, so I keep doing it. But I don’t know; the joke is the best analogy I have to make sense of it. Here’s what I think will scare people, and I have to trust that I’m going to try it and it’s going to work. In the same way as when you tell a joke, it’s the pauses and the way that you deliver it and the way that you talk to the people you’re telling it to. It’s how it’s done, it’s not actually the material itself. When you watch V/H/S with an audience, do they react to your segment the way you intended or hoped they would? My segment is the most rooted in realism and it doesn’t necessarily play to an audience, whereas all the other segments play very heavily to an audience. Mine is sort of the weird slow-burn one, of course, and I will say I think I get the biggest scare in the movie. I was surprised by how much that was effective. But I made a much more low-key psychological segment and it plays well with an audience because that one moment really shines, and it kind of informs me that it must have worked – the fifteen minutes leading up to it must have been going well. An upcoming non-horror project is the sci-fi Side Effects . What’s the latest with that film? Side Effects is still out there. Because it’s a science fiction movie it costs a whole bunch more money than usual, and we have most of the money but not all of the money. It’s a very slow-moving process, which is very frustrating to me, but it’s coming together. What’s your perspective now on how much you get to make the movies you want to make and what your options are in the marketplace? I think if it’s a movie for a million dollars or less and it’s a horror movie, my options are pretty decent because I could create my own thing and go out there and probably talk somebody into getting it made. But I’ve done so many of those now, six of them, that I don’t really want to do that anymore because it feels like the same old thing. So that’s where projects like Side Effects come in; I want to do a science fiction movie that’s going to cost five times as much as The Innkeepers because it’s going to take place in space, and it’s going to be great, and we’ve got Liv Tyler – but I got The Innkeepers made in a conversation at Sundance, and three months later we were shooting it. When it’s more money it becomes a whole nightmare of putting too many things together. But I’ve gotten to the point where the really small movies are great because I can do my own thing with them and that’s important to me, but I’m starting to do my own same thing over and over again and that’s really unpleasant to me, to repeat myself. So there’s that, and there’s the option of doing the bigger gun-for-hire movies, which is very appealing from a financial standpoint; I would love to make a movie where I could make tons of money, have a really cushy schedule, have celebrities in it, and have it be on billboards everywhere. I’d love to do the big sell-out thing. The problem that I have is that to me, when you work as a gun-for-hire my attitude would be as a gun-for-hire. The way I look at that is, ‘This is great – I don’t have to stress out as much.’ When you make your own little personal movie, every choice is like, if I don’t do it exactly this way it will be embarrassing because this is important to me . When you go do some sequel to a big goofy comic book movie, I understand that all they want is cool stuff. I can show up and just make it cool, I know how to do it although it’s not something I aspire to do. The problem is, they don’t want you to show up and be a gun-for-hire – they want you to care just as much as you care about your own personal movies. But to me that’s silly, because I’m making a big goofy thing. So that’s my struggle. Every time I start working on it we get to a certain point in the process where I’m either too checked out to care enough to keep doing it, or they’re onto the fact that I don’t really care and they want to get someone who cares more. And even though I don’t care that doesn’t mean I won’t do a good job and try really hard, it just means that when I go home at night I’m not going to panic, because the content isn’t that important to me. I’m trying to find that movie where I can do that but I would always much prefer to make my own independent stuff – it’s just that the independent world has gotten so small. It’s not a matter of me wanting so much more out of the independent world, or wanting to make more money; it’s solely that I’d love to make movies that don’t take place in one location. I’d love to make movies with a bunch of people in it. I wish I could pay a famous actor that wants to do the movie but we can’t afford, but we can’t, because they won’t come unless they can fly first class and we can’t fly them first class. I’d love to not have to deal with that dumb shit anymore, to get past that and keep doing my own thing. You seem to have made a lot of careful career choices along the way, but you had a well-documented brush with the studios on Cabin Fever 2 . What did you learn from that experience? I have enough options and certainly shouldn’t complain, but as you said I’ve made careful choices. I made one choice that turned out to not be a careful choice and it was really difficult to deal with and I don’t want to deal with that again. So with all of the bigger movies I’ve been involved with, at any moment that they feel like they could go in the Cabin Fever 2 direction, I bail out. You’ve recently done some acting as well for Joe Swanberg, in Drinking Buddies , in a reversal from your V/H/S roles. How did he get you involved? He just said, ‘Come to Chicago and be in this movie’ and I said, OK. He’s one of my best friends so it was a no-brainer. I don’t have a big aspiration to act and I don’t even think I’m very good at acting, but he had me come there and just be kind of an idiot and I was like, I can do that! It was a really great thing to be a part of Joe’s biggest movie to date, and the cast was really great. To see Joe have more money and have a more deliberate schedule and this great cast, but still hanging out making a Joe movie, was really fun. Because of our shared love of karaoke: What do you think your karaoke song choices say about you? Hmm. I don’t know. Lately I’ve been doing “She’s Like The Wind” by Patrick Swayze and feeling pretty good about it. I enjoy karaoke because it removes all snootiness from the environment, and L.A. is a very snooty, stuck-up city. When you go out to bars in L.A. everyone’s there just looking miserable. But when you go do karaoke in L.A., everybody’s having a good time. And there’s nothing like a great song choice where you can catch people off guard and they’re like, ‘Whoa, this is awesome.’ V/H/S is in select theaters today. Read more here . Follow Jen Yamato on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
Lena Dunham, creator and star of HBO’s Girls , posted a picture and caption on Twitter recently that some of her followers were offended by. Wearing a scarf resembling a Muslim hijab (below), Dunham wrote “I had a real goth / fundamentalist attitude when I woke up from my nap.” Lena certainly didn’t mean to insult anyone by it, but in the wake of the Wisconsin Sikh temple shooting , many were not amused: After people went crazy, Lena Dunham apologized, saying she hadn’t even heard about the shooting: “Been in production and completely not reading the news.” “Didn’t realize what a bad time it was to make a joke like that. Not a good excuse, but an excuse nonetheless. I’m glad you keep me informed and I’m deleting those tweets.” “Will spend tonight reading my pile of old NY Times, contemplating the boundaries of humor. I try and learn something new every day.” Then, after some fans came to Lena’s defense and said she shouldn’t be criticized for the joke/photo, the 26-year-old insisted she deserved it … while mocking Kristen Stewart’s apology for cheating on Robert Pattinson with Rupert Sanders : “You SHOULD apologize if you make a mistake! I mean, not to the K Stew level, but … ” Ouch. Point Lena?
Danish comedy duo Casper Christensen and Frank Hvam would like you to know they are not pedophiles. Not that accusations of creative indecency would stop them from toying with the line of good taste, as they do to hilarious effect in the R-rated Danish sex comedy Klown . The Curb Your Enthusiasm -style road trip comedy, which they wrote and co-star in, happens to be the funniest, most outrageous film of the year, and it has already been acquired for American remake by Todd Phillips and Danny McBride. Klown debuted in New York, Los Angeles, and Austin over the weekend, stirring up a decent opening as it looks to expand to 13 additional markets in the coming weeks. Back home in Denmark, it’s already made $12.3 million; nearly 20 percent of the population reportedly watched it upon release in 2010. That’s a fantastic start for a buddy comedy chock full of explicit sexual gags, nudity, child endangerment and wanton irresponsibility galore — a NSFW comedy of discomfort. After floating down the the Guadalupe River outside of Austin, Texas last month for The Alamo Drafthouse’s wonderfully meta Rolling Roadshow screening series, Christensen and Hvam spoke with Movieline about the planned American remake, their scripting process, and their tricks for pushing the envelope. For instance, why you can’t pop a joke too early (“What would top ejaculating in a child’s face? It’s impossible”), and the gag from their Klown series that rivals the worst transgressions of Klown the Movie. Also: What is cinematic infant terrible Lars Von Trier (whose Zentropa outfit co-produced Klown , and whose Nazi-referencing Cannes controversy the duo dismiss as “a stand-up comedian at an open mic”) really like? You two had a successful run with Klown the TV show, but at what point did you crack the right way to make it into a film? Casper Christensen: We did six seasons, and Frank and I wrote all the episodes. It’s a lot of work. It’s a joyride, it’s a lot of fun, but sometimes in life you’ve got to just come up for fresh air. So after six seasons we just took a break from each other — Frank went on a stand-up comedy tour, I did television, and it felt good just to let go of the Klown universe for a while. But we always had ambitions to write a movie. We got together and said, ‘Let’s write this movie.’ I wanted to get back into Klown because the character was so much fun to act, and we knew the characters so well, that we thought it might be a good idea for the first movie that we wrote, to know something. It would be easier for us. So I convinced Frank that it could be a good idea to write Klown . Frank Hvam: It was a good idea. I have no regrets about that movie. CC: But we started out bouncing around ideas for a completely different movie before we did this one. How different was that concept? FH: It’s always based on some buddy stuff, because that’s our relationship — we are friends in real life. We have this comic dynamic that we know, and we use that. CC: We talked about setting it during the second World War. FH: Because we would probably fail totally in a war situation. CC: We talked a lot about war. FH: On which side would we be? [Laughs] CC: How would we be if we were soldiers? Would we still be friends? Who would really be the hero between the two of us? FH: Every time we see a war movie in Denmark it’s about Danish heroes, and we would like to tell a story about Danish assholes. CC: During the second World War. Maybe you can use that in a Klown follow-up. Do you already have an idea in mind for your next movie? CC: Oh, we have a plan! We’re going to start writing in January. It might be a Klown movie, but it might be something completely different. One of things Klown the film does well is give freshness to a concept that isn’t necessarily unique – the road trip set-up, for example. If you were to give comedy writing tips based on your experience writing Klown, where would you start? CC: You’ve got to have a good story, a story that means something to yourself. Fatherhood is interesting for Frank and I — we’re both fathers, spent a lot of time talking about it, and living not the everyday life, we live a different life than most people in Denmark so of course we talk about things like, what kind of father figure are we? That was most important for us — we had a good story, and we had something we wanted to talk about. CC: Once a story is in place, you’ve got to do good comedy on top of it. You’ve just got to refresh your thoughts — I’ve never seen this, this might be fun — and just believe in it. We weren’t trying to please anybody when we made the movie. We’re not going to go, ‘People might like canoeing.’ Frank and I liked the concept of canoeing, that’s why we did it. FH: Write for yourself. That’s a very important thing, otherwise you get confused. CC: Six seasons on television – there were a lot of characters that people liked and loved from the series that aren’t in the movie. We might disappoint people, but then what? We don’t care. It’s about what we think is important. So there are a lot of good characters that aren’t in the movie. Nudity, especially in R-rated comedy these days and especially involving male genitalia, is used often for shock value. How strategic do you have to be in using it at just the right moment, and for maximum effect? CC: When we wrote it we wanted to make sure one of the biggest laughs was going to be at the end of the movie, because it seemed downhill from there. FH: We also had to make sure it didn’t ruin the story. If we have something explosive and we can’t get on the horse again – our story horse – then it wasn’t worth it. CC: That’s why we don’t show the picture right after we take the picture. We put it late in the movie but early enough that you kind of have forgotten we took the picture. That’s when people go, ‘Oh!’ when Frank goes, “I’ve got Casper’s phone right here.” They’re suddenly reminded. FH: We were discussing having Bo in the bed having a pearl necklace instead of Frank’s mother in law. That would have been fun, but it would have destroyed the story because it would have been impossible for Frank and Bo to get on that canoe trip after that. CC: And what would top it? What would top ejaculating in a child’s face? It’s impossible. FH: Then it’s a skit. CC: No, then it’s illegal! Do you think American audiences will be more shocked by how far Klown goes in the pursuit of humor than audiences back home were? FH: It was a shocking movie at home, too. CC: Let’s not kid ourselves – it’s way too much, even in Denmark. Denmark doesn’t just have the coolest audience in the world, then? CC: Oh, no – that’s why you laugh, because it’s too much. FH: It’s ok that people are a little bit shocked. Otherwise we wouldn’t have a movie! CC: Some scenes get more laughs over here, though; the homosexual themes are much more taboo. FH: The home robbery scene is also a little more [taboo] because running away from a child during a robbery here in the U.S. is a death scene — in Denmark it’s bad, but it’s not that bad because the robbers are probably not armed. Thieves are nicer back home? CC: They’re still thieves! Don’t kid yourself. It’s dangerous, but not that many people have guns so it’s not that dangerous. There’s also a point when Frank is teaching Bo to swim and there’s a beautiful shot of the two characters, the lake is in front of them and the sun is going down, they’re both drying themselves off, and Frank goes, “Let me see that penis… it’s not that small.” It’s funny but it’s a beautiful scene, it’s a loving scene – it’s got feelings in it! In Denmark people laughed, they giggled, but over here it’s like [guffaws] they LAUGH. A grown man looking at a boy’s penis! But in Denmark it’s a beautiful thing. Why bring Klown to Zentropa? Was Lars Von Trier’s involvement part of the appeal? FH: He wasn’t that much involved, but we came to Zentropa because of Lars von Trier. We wanted to get some of the best film workers on our project and we wanted to get close to Lars because he’s a super cool guy. He involved himself in a little bit of the editing at the start. He wrote an episode, he acted in an episode, and he is good at forcing us to push the envelope. He really wants things to go wild, and if you’re close to Lars you just want to impress him. He’s cultivated quite the reputation for himself, and not just through films. CC: Once you get to know him he’s a good guy! He’s got a good sense of humor, he’s a little bit crazy – but in a good way. I’ve been to his house having dinner with his children and my children and it’s all normal… but then suddenly Lars picks up a rifle at the dinner party, stuff like that. Sometimes taking his shirt off during dinner. He wants to see what happens now – what if I did this? And that’s interesting to be around. FH: Basically, he’s just a nice guy. Do you think his detractors took his Cannes comments a little too seriously? FH: We were surprised. We couldn’t see that he’d made any mistake at that press conference. He was just a comedian in an open mic situation – CC: And somebody misunderstood his joke. Lars von Trier as stand-up comedian – sounds about right. CC: That’s what he is! He’s trying out material. FH: We have tried that too. People sometimes are not offended in their heart, but they can use a matter to promote their own cause, and then they start a war just to show who they are. Contined on next page…
NFL star Tim Tebow can be seen running shirtless, in the rain, and in slow motion no less, in this new video taken at the end of a recent team practice. You are welcome, ladies. You are so very welcome. The New York Jets backup removed his jersey during a heavy downpour, leading to razzing from his teammates and leaving plenty of tongues wagging. Watch. Enjoy. Then watch again if you like. It’s okay.
This certainly puts a whole new spin on The Matrix: Revolutions . Larry Wachowski, the acclaimed Hollywood director responsible for the hit movie franchise has apparently outed himself as a pink-haired transsexual. He recently made an unexpected public debut as Lana Wachowski. Wachowski has been undergoing hormone therapy as part of his sex change treatment for nearly a decade now, according to the Daily Mail (UK). In a trailer for his latest film, Cloud Atlas , Wachowski says in a soft voice: ‘Hi, I’m Lana.’ It’s the first time he has appeared publicly as a woman. Wachowski’s new film, which stars Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugh Grant and Susan Sarandon, is one of the most hotly anticipated of the year. At the height of The Matrix ‘s popularity, Wachowski left his wife for a dominatrix called Ilsa Strix. Here’s hoping he’s found happiness since then.
Blake Shelton incited a major Twitter war over the weekend and was eventually forced to apologize for a tasteless joke and a string of insults… all because of a fake turtle’s death. It all started on July 27 when Shelton wrote: Does anyone know if the Eastern Box turtle is protected in Oklahoma? If so I didn’t just swerve to the shoulder of the road to smash one… NPR blogger Barbara J. King quickly responded in shock, asking the country music superstar: That turtle’s life meant something- was your tweet a bad joke? Why would you be so cruel to a living being?” From there, it was on! Shelton especially got into it with a user named @turtlefeed, going off on her/him in reply to that follower questioning Shelton’s apathy for animals: Hey @turtlefeed. Before u make an even bigger dipshit of urself you should research on how much money I have raised to feed homeless animals… Hey @turtlefeed.. I solely have raised over a million dollars in animal rescue/conservation alone… How much have you raised? Oh. Ok. Next! The artist eventually revealed that he was joking all along, but not before getting awfully personal in his insults: The best part of all of this is that the dumb asses didn’t even look to see that I’m not even in Oklahoma today!! I’m in North Dakota!! Do they even have turtles in North Dakota?!!! God almighty! Finally, Shelton received so much flak for his joke and his responses that he tried to issue an apology to put an end to the back and forth: Ok.. Now that “Turtle-Gate” is over I want to apologize for my ignorant joke.. I never ran over a turtle. It wasn’t even possible.
While I was sleeping in, Indian “Model, Singer and Actress” Sherlyn Chopra, who used to be called Mona Chopra, and who I can only assume has a lot of fucking fans, cuz India’s got a billion people annd a good percentage of them must be into their hot local pussy….provided they can afford computers, I saw Slumdog Millionaire, I know how it works…but not well enough to get them to all worship me, cuz being coveted in India would lead to a lot of palaces, pussy and good times… But enough about me, this Sherlyn bitch, who was in a lot of b-grade Bollywood movies, which is a funny concept, cuz I have seen some A-List Bollywood movies and they look like they are shot on VHS…..so B-grade must be some webcam shit with sound badly synced…. Not that it mattrs, because at 28, she’s decided it is time to make it in America, the tried, tested and true PLAYBOY way….only she was clever enough to tweet some nude pics to generate some buzz. Indian, smart in ore than just call centers, medicine, engineering and making food that makes me shit myself.
