Is Adele planning a secret wedding to Simon Konecki? The couple, who recently welcomed 5-month-old son Angelo, are in the process of planning their nuptials. “She’s been planning it for a while,” says an insider. The resolutely private crooner’s nuptials will go down “in the summer or fall” and likely at her new home, another source told celebrity news magazine Us . Adele and Konecki, 38, moved from London to Brighton to be near his young daughter from a previous marriage, with whom Adele is “very close” as well. For the singer, 24, it’s all about motherhood (and wedding planning) these days, and music will take the back seat – even if it’s always a huge part of her: “Simon is the perfect partner and Angelo is just her life.” We wish them nothing but the best.
Kate Gosselin is always beefing with someone, and sure enough, she’s gotten involved in a new Twitter feud … with a man with the last name Gosselin. The reality star is demanding that she change it immediately. An irate Kate Tweeted recently at Carlos Gosselin: “@RealCGosselin it is illegal to impersonate people on twitter etc. please change your ID and email immediately. Thank you. @Support” Carlos Gosselin hit back at the reality show mom: “@Support hey can you tell Kate Gosselin to take accept that there are other people with the same last name. She may have her panties in a wad.” OH, IT’S ON NOW! Carlos continued, “So I woke up to this and laughed my ass. Not only that. But it made my whole morning complete. Let me put it up in a picture.” He added a photo of himself with the caption, “Love you mom.” He hasn’t changed his name or his email address, either. Kate is far from pleased with the situation, responding: “The per impersonating my child (@CGosselin) tweeted ‘love you mom’ 2me. Whether he really has last name or not, it’s impersonation w that tweet!” “And if it was meant as a joke to me, then I missed the joke – busy being a mom and am CONSTANTLY dealing w ppl impersonating my children! :/” Sure you are Kate. We know you never overreact at all.
Those who remain convinced that The Onion ‘s controversial Oscar-night tweet about Quvenzhané Wallis was really about the Beasts of the Southern Wild star and not about Hollywood hypocrisy should check out the below tweet from comedian and filmmaker Paul Provenza . Last week, I posted The Aristocrats director’s thoughtful deconstruction of The Onion’s joke, why it wasn’t about Wallis and why the fake news organization’s subsequent apology was problematic. The story got a lot of reaction and, in the wake of yesterday’s announcement that Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio had been elected the new leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis I , Provenza took the opportunity to riff on The Onion brouhaha, and to drive home the point that the joke is not about whoever is named being a cunt. Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that new pope is kind of a cunt, right? @ TheOnion — Paul Provenza (@PaulProvenza) March 13, 2013 If you disagree and your ears are smoking like the Sistine Chapel’s chimney, sound off in the comments section below. More on The Onion controversy: ‘The Aristocrats’ Director Paul Provenza: The Onion’s Apology To Quvenzhané Wallis Was ‘Problematic’ Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
When The Onion ‘s CEO Steve Hannah publicly apologized last week for the satirical newspaper’s controversial Oscar-night tweet about Quvenzhané Wallis , two thoughts crossed my mind: 1) It’s not a good day for comedy when a satirical publication says it’s sorry for a joke that was not actually about the Beasts of the Southern Wild actress. And 2) what would Paul Provenza make of this? In addition to being a veteran stand-up comic and actor, Provenza directed The Aristocrats , one of the finest dissections of comedy in any media (and not because I’m in it). The 2005 documentary deconstructs one of the oldest and dirtiest jokes in stand-up — the film’s title is its punchline — and when I shot my segment with Provenza, I quickly learned that, in addition to being a very funny guy, he’s a scholar of humor, who’s really good at explaining why something is funny — or not. ‘The Onion’: The Quvenzhané Wallis Controversy So, in the aftermath of the Wallis controversy, I emailed Provenza to get his analysis of the situation. Excerpts of his assessment appear below, but, first, an unexpurgated recap of what happened last week for anyone who was focusing on the sequestration crisis instead. If you’re offended by the word “cunt,” then stop reading now, because the term appears quite a bit in the following passages, and, in the context of this discussion, I think it’s justified. Also, as Provenza noted, censoring the word, “just adds to the irony” of the controversy. Here’s what The Onion initially tweeted during the Academy Awards on Feb. 24. After initially obscuring the offending word, the tweet was eventually disappeared as the backlash grew: “Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a cunt, right?” The Onion’s Apology Here is the apology that Hannah posted on The Onion ‘s Facebook page on Monday, Feb. 25: Dear Readers, On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting. No person should be subjected to such a senseless, humorless comment masquerading as satire. The tweet was taken down within an hour of publication. We have instituted new and tighter Twitter procedures to ensure that this kind of mistake does not occur again. In addition, we are taking immediate steps to discipline those individuals responsible. Miss Wallis, you are young and talented and deserve better. All of us at The Onion are deeply sorry. Sincerely, Steve Hannah CEO The Onion Why The Onion’s Apology Is Problematic Take it away, Professor Provenza: I think the crux of it is that the whole issue has more to do with Twitter than it has to do with comedy. Not completely, but largely. Twitter is a big, broad audience, and it’s a tough room to ‘read’, particularly with a joke this harsh. But the joke is absolutely misunderstood in most of the chatter. It is NOT a joke calling that sweet little girl a cunt. It’s not maligning her in any way whatsoever — it is saying exactly the opposite. The joke rests squarely on the fact that Quvenzhané Wallis is the very last person you’d ever want to call a cunt. Not even the most steadfast cynic can find her anything but innocent, beautiful and adorable, and that’s the whole point of the joke: The Hollywood schadenfreude and the palpable desperation that runs through much of the movie biz inspires the idea that someone, somewhere in Oscartown is already spreading vicious rumors about her. The fact that it is so inappropriate to say anything like that about her is precisely the basis — and I believe the point — of the Tweet. It was meant as a satirical comment about Hollywood and the pretense that everybody at the Oscars loves each other so much. It’s all golden statues and lavish praise — and is, The Onion suggests, about as phony as it gets. SO The Onion ‘s apology is problematic. It suggests they did insult her, and they’re sorry about it. Which is not the case. They offended, yes — not by insulting Quvenzhané Wallis, but by using the word “cunt” in the first place. And what could they expect, putting a most innocent, beloved 9 year old in the same sentence with perhaps the second most reviled word in the English language? That’s not the norm for The Onion , which usually does a much more deft job of communicating harsh comic ideas, but, comedically speaking, the joke is meant to be a bludgeon. So, I really can’t fault it on that score. It’s not meant to be a cleverly disguised notion. It’s meant to be as harsh as the ugly truth of envy, back-biting and negativity that Hollywood embodies. No one is spared, no matter how sweet and pure and innocent. Provenza goes on to point out that launching the Wallis joke into the Twitterverse put The Onion in “a difficult place.” Their work rarely has reached the audience this has reached — it has gone beyond their normal audience of comedy fans, fans of biting satire, whatever — to the broadest based audience imaginable: Oscar viewers, news & opinion blog/TV watchers. That audience includes far more people who would be offended in great numbers. And that’s where it becomes about Twitter. It’s now a story debated by people who have never had, nor do they now have, any interest in The Onion or what they’re all about. And now we’re into the business of damage control. But man, it feels wrong to apologize for a joke you didn’t even make. When I asked Provenza if The Onion should have apologized at all, he replied: Not this apology. They could have apologized for upsetting people in their audience. That would have been honest — they didn’t want to offend anyone. But this apology is dishonest: They apologize for offending the little girl and saying she deserves better when they did NOT say anything offensive about her. Thus, the apology is obsequious, reeks of insincerity and is compromising of The Onion’s integrity and its actual point of view in the first place. The Onion’s Tweet & Seth MacFarlane’s Jokes Stir The Pretentious Pot Provenza also drew a provocative connection between The Onion ‘s tweet and Seth MacFarlane’s much-maligned emceeing of the Academy Awards that night: If you look at The Onion thing (the actual substance of the joke, not the misinterpretation of it) and Seth’s entire night of hosting, some very loud voices were digging into the whole pretension of the Oscars. And what’s really interesting to me is that Seth was essentially a fox in the Academy Awards henhouse. The producers of the telecast knew what he was going to do: Nothing was off the cuff, songs were rehearsed for weeks, scripts were signed off on by legal departments and Standards & Practices. In other words, the producers of the Oscars themselves chose to let Seth call bullshit on false propriety, to dredge up unsavory things about the celebs in attendance and onstage, to take very little of it as seriously as the Oscars seem to want to be taken. They essentially allowed him to repeatedly remind the audience what a load of crap it all is. We all know that Oscar itself is a massive industry. The politics behind the nominees and winners is predominated by studios/distributors’ financial interests and all kinds of deal-making and horse trading. The fact that awards shows and celebrities are being called out ever more loudly, even from within, seems to suggest something. It’s almost as if even the people involved in the enterprise can’t ignore how pretentious it all is and are really tired of the machine. I can’t wait to read the comments on this. Leave them below. Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
One Million Moms is a group that sees bestiality in many things. You may not think much of a Skittles ad where a girl makes out with a CGI walrus, or Maxwell the GEICO pig going on a date with a human. But they do. Yes, One Million Moms (an organization which is, by its own admission, only comprised of thousands of moms) is up in arms over GEICO and Maxwell: GEICO Ad – Maxwell the Pig on a Date We call it creative advertising for GEICO and its free app, or at worst, harmless nonsense. They call it unsavory love of animals and girl-on-pig innuendos. In the latest spot, Maxwell is on a date when his car breaks down in a secluded area .. and his date isn’t in such a hurry for the tow truck to arrive. IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN! Despite the fact that most kids wouldn’t get the joke, let alone take seriously the idea that she really wants to get freaky with a digitized pig, OMM is not a fan. The group said in a statement: “A bridesmaid was flirting with the gecko in a different commercial, so this is just becoming a norm for GEICO it seems.” In short, 15 minutes could save you hundreds on car insurance, but you’ll be supporting a company that promotes boning animals, so enjoy hell.
My ongoing Emily Osment joke, yes I have an ongoing Emily Osment joke, no I don’t know what that says about me, but I do know that no one laughs at it..because I haven’t been funny on the internet since 2005 when I realized the internet is a cold dark place and none of my jokes really mattered in this scary world….and even if they did matter some hack writer for some shitty TV show would just steal my one moment of gold and put it out there for the world to think he came up with it….but I still come back everyday to cry about those glory days that were hardly glorious at all… Either way, the joke is that Emily Osment is the dude from Sixth Sense’s sister who has a career, while he’s just faded into awkward since puberty obscurity, never to be seen again, making me think he got on hormones, repackaged himself as this poptart, that’s why she’s showing off tit, cuz she’s so happy with how they’ve grown in, because dude’s an Oscar nominee at 6, and pulling this off would be easier than if he was Chaz Bono…. See… No one laughed…. Here’s the pic…
Chris Christie stopped by the Late Show with David Letterman last night, and fat jokes about the New Jersey Governor were flying left and right. For a change of pace, Christie was the one making them this time. Chris Christie on Letterman Typically a good sport about his weight, Christie began by taking out a doughnut and starting to eat it just moments into his interview with Letterman. “I didn’t know this was going to be this long,” he deadpanned. After pausing to take his own bite of Christie’s doughnut, Dave asked his politician guest if his repeated fat jokes at Chris’ expense bothered him. Chris’ take? “If the joke is funny, I laugh, even if it’s about me. If it’s not funny I don’t laugh. But it’s [never] something that bugged me all that much.” Asked what percentage of Letterman’s jokes qualified as funny, Christie replied “about 40 percent” and then pulled out note cards with a few of his favorites. Classic. Chris may not be known for his love of healthy recipes , but the popular Garden State Republican has a healthy self-awareness and sense of humor. He can dish it out and take it as well, which you gotta respect.
Britney Spears has looked better. On Sunday, the pop star, appearing a little worse for the wear, was spotted outside the Barkley Pet Hotel with her two sons – and an adorable new dog! Brit’s pups and kids are cute, but her outfit? Not so much. The singer, who recently split with fiance Jason Trawick, looks to have just emerged from bed. This after Justin Timberlake’s Spears insult (which he denies), too. Rough. In happier news, reports have surfaced that the singer is talks to sign a deal with Ceasar’s Palace in Las Vegas as a regular performer for HUGE money. Her dog Hannah’s Twitter (seriously) fueled that rumor yesterday. Spears re-tweeted a post from her pup’s feed (seriously) that said “Mommy, are dogs allowed to gamble in vegas? Gonna cash in all my bones for chips.” Britney’s response: “I don’t think so honey #VivaLasVegas : )” You can’t make this stuff up .
U.S. Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) finds himself in some hot water this afternoon following a Tweet he wrote about Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Basically, he likened Ahmadinejad to a space monkey. Iran claimed in January that it shot a monkey into space, while Ahmadinejad vocalized his desire to be the first person Iran sends there when the time comes. “So Ahmadinejad wants to be first Iranian in space – wasn’t he just there last week?” tweeted McCain in reference to both of these recent stories. Ahmadinejad actually wouldn’t be the first Iranian in space – Anousheh Ansari paid $20 million for a Russian Soyuz trip to the International Space Station in 2006. But that’s beside the point. Many felt McCain’s joke was in poor taste, or even racist. Others pointed out the joke was apparently used by TV host Jimmy Kimmel in recent days. The 76-year-old former GOP presidential candidate then issued a follow-up: “Re: Iran space tweet … lighten up folks, can’t everyone take a joke?” Should they? Or should McCain apologize?
I’ve noted this a few times now, but of all the jokes that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler told during their killer Golden Globes performance , the one that resonated most with me was their jab at Avatar director James Cameron : “I haven’t been following the controversy surrounding Zero Dark Thirty , ” Poehler said name-checking director Kathryn Bigelow . “But when it comes to torture, I trust the woman who spent three years married to James Cameron.” I loved the joke because it was daring — a tough one to pull off in an industry crowd that tends to protect its own even when they may despise that person behind his back. ( Jessica Chastain’s televised gasp said volumes.) Poehler pulled it off beautifully and, in an interview that was posted on Friday in The Huffington Post , she finally revealed the author of the joke. The Parks and Recreation actress and her series co-star and Adam Scott t alked to the site about the movie that they premiered at Sundance, A.C.O.D ., which stands for Adult Children of Divorce, and in the process, Poehler revealed that the Cameron line was the work of 30 Rock writer Sam Means . Here’s the excerpt that appears on HuffPo. You did a great job co-hosting the Golden Globes. Scott: Didn’t she? Poehler: Thank you. I do feel that you may have been taken off the short list for “Avatar 2.” Poehler: [Laughs.] Perhaps! Perhaps. Not just with the James Cameron joke, but anytime you do a joke like that, can there be repercussion? Or do people take that in stride? Poehler: I hope so. There was nothing in that moment that we walked away from feeling bad about. There was never a moment that we walked away going, “Was that too … ” You know, we vetted our own jokes with each other. Tina and I have had a lot of experience doing those kind of jokes, so we know when things feel too “something.” That room was a special kind of room, so we had to think about how to play to that room. So, we didn’t regret anything that we had said or felt like we were coming in a weird way. And if it’s funny, you can get away with a lot, hopefully. Scott: And I was saying before, James Cameron … even he has to appreciate what a beautifully crafted joke that was. Poehler: Written by a gentleman named Sam Means — a writer for “30 Rock.” He wrote that joke. I’m assuming there was no hesitation when you heard that joke. Poehler: Oh, no. It’s a great joke. Good work, Mr. Means. Now, if you happen to notice a non-descript black van following you, here’s a little advice: run. Read More of Movieline’s Golden Globes Coverage: Do The Tommy Lee Jones! 5 Top Golden Globe Moments WATCH: The Best Of Tina Fey & Amy Poehler’s Golden Globes Performance [ Huffington Post ] Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
