Tag Archives: Jokes

Who Towed the Cars of 53 Glenn Beck Fans? [Pranks]

In what was either a conspiracy of tow truck companies, academic Maoists, and ACORN or a hilarious frat prank, 53 cars were towed from a University of Central Florida parking lot while their owners were enjoying a Glenn Beck show. Mysterious signs promised free event parking at a nearby lot. And because signs are the most revered sources of truth among Glenn Beck viewers, they all illegally parked in a lot belonging to Kappa Sigma. Beck show attendee Mike Vedder is pretty sure this was a set-up. “Maybe they have a deal with the tow truck company or maybe they got kickbacks under the table,” he said, though Orlando’s WFTV did not explain who he meant by “they.” Oddly, though: “Students at the fraternity won’t talk.” What do these liberal elitists have to hide?

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Who Towed the Cars of 53 Glenn Beck Fans? [Pranks]

Lydia Hearst and Some Other Models Topless in Purple of the Day

I am happy that Terry Richardson finally let a little loose and brought some of his historic work to this photoshoot in Purple. Maybe his corporate gigs don’t let him take the pictures into the erotic, naked place he’s known for, but luckily Purple is the porn magazine for Fashion. They know that tits get attention and for some reason the models they hire for the shoot seem really down in stripping down, I even feel like they don’t even get paid to do these shoots, it’s all volunteer-based, and the depressing thing in all this is that they’d never do anything like this for me, no matter how I spun it into lookin’ like it’s for art or fashion… One of the models is Lydia Hearst, who is my internet friend and who I think is amazing, partially because she’s my internet friend, but also because she hasn’t called the cops on me or blocked me on Twitter, when most of these girls are too insecure or stupid to get my jokes or what I do, not that I really even know what I do, but I do know it doesn’t seem to bother Lydia….and that just makes her and her tits the best….

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Lydia Hearst and Some Other Models Topless in Purple of the Day

‘American Idol’ Top 12 Men Have A Rocky Live Debut

Casey James emerges as one of only standouts during the boys’ first performance night. By Gil Kaufman Casey James on “American Idol” Wednesday Photo: Fox After a number of uneven, forgettable performances by the top 12 ladies Tuesday night, it was starting to feel like Simon Cowell’s prediction that a female would win this year’s “American Idol” was a bit premature. And then the men took the stage Wednesday night (February 24), and for most of the two hours, well, they seemed determined to prove Simon right. From poor song choices to shaky vocals and clear nerves, one by one, the guys got hammered by the judges, with even front-runner Andrew Garcia drawing some fire for his somber Fall Out Boy cover as pinup cowboy Casey James appeared to slip into the pole position with his mix of good looks and strong vocals. First out of the gate was Todrick Hall, one of the most experienced singers in the competition. He took a big chance singing a Chris Brown-y funk take on original “Idol” winner Kelly Clarkson’s breakthrough hit “Since U Been Gone.” He satisfied the judge’s desire to hear something original, and Ellen DeGeneres was visibly pleased, applauding Hall’s stage moves but saying the chorus was a bit of a mess. Randy Jackson actually didn’t love how the arrangement was so different that he almost couldn’t recognize it, and Cowell said Hall came over “as a dancer trying to sing,” docking him for completely “murdering” the song. One of this year’s youngest contestants, spiky-haired 16-year-old Aaron Kelly tackled Rascal Flatts’ “Here Comes Goodbye,” showing remarkable poise and self-confidence as he wrapped his raspy voice around the schmaltzy cowboy ballad. “Bearing in mind it’s your first live show, it actually was quite a good performance,” said Cowell, who suggested that the high-schooler looked a bit embarrassed to be onstage and not confident that he deserved to be in the competition. “You’re a good singer, very likable, very cute, but you have to take control of the song,” he added. Church singer Jermaine Sellers, 27, who almost blew it in Hollywood when he threw the band under the bus, went the inspirational route with Oleta Adams’ version of the gospel tune “Get Here,” busting out some powerful falsetto amid breathy verses. Ellen liked the song choice but said Sellers seemed to be trying too hard, and Randy suggested he go more contemporary with his big voice and try a tune by Ne-Yo or Maxwell instead. Simon likened it to a corny piano-bar song and said the middle section sounded like screaming. “I think you’ve totally blown your opportunity,” he concluded. Tim Urban, 20, revealed that he didn’t even tell his family that he’d made the top 24 after initially missing the cut and then sliding into the 24 spot when Chris Golightly was disqualified , letting them find out only when they watched the final Hollywood Week episode. The floppy-haired Texan went contemporary with OneRepublic’s “Apologize,” strangely staring into the camera and displaying his limited vocal range when he reached too far for the falsetto notes on the chorus and went oddly aggressive on the verses. Cowell congratulated him for coming back. “Having said that, we absolutely made the right decision the first time around by not putting you through with that performance,” he said, calling the performance and vocals weak and Urban’s voice just not good enough. For Randy, none of it worked, and Ellen agreed, saying the high notes were just not there, though people might vote for him because he’s adorable, which she mentioned more than once. One of the least-known semifinalists, California’s Joe Mu

Howard Stern Considering Replacing Simon Cowell On ‘American Idol’

‘There’s not a better job on the planet than judging a karaoke contest,’ Stern says on his Sirius radio show. By James Montgomery, with additional reporting by Gil Kaufman Howard Stern Photo: Jim Spellman/ WireImage On Monday (February 8), Howard Stern not only confirmed reports that Fox is interested in hiring him to replace departing “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell , but that the interest is mutual. “There’s not a better job on the planet than judging a f—–g karaoke contest,” Stern told his satellite radio listeners. “It might be possible, we’ll see.” Stern, who frequently dissects “Idol” on his radio program, joked that the deciding factor in the negotiations might be the size of the paycheck show producers are willing to shell out for his services. “They’d have to pay me a ton of dough, because I already make a ton of dough,” he said. Stern’s five-year, $500 million contract with Sirius XM is set to expire in January of next year. And according to some reports , “Idol” producers are prepared to match that deal. “A $100 million to judge a karaoke contest? Yeah, I think I would do that show for $100 million,” Stern said. “It would be the best thing that happened to me. What a cush job: $100 million for four months. Who wouldn’t take that?” Stern added that he wouldn’t do a radio show if he landed the “Idol” job, and said that, while the show is “nothing” without Cowell, he had read reports that it was the acerbic Brit himself who suggested the longtime shock jock take his place at the end of this season. “I’m not going to comment about any discussions I might or might not have had,” he said. “I watch ‘American Idol.’ … people seem to think that if I was on it, because I’m such a foul-mouthed, miserable f—, that I would get them thrown off the air. I know how to judge.” And to that end, he said that, really, he’s the best man for the job, since he’d be able to replace the acerbic wit the show would be missing without Cowell. “If I do say so myself, I can’t imagine anyone else but me replacing [Cowell],” Stern said. “I mean, how else are they going to make that show work? Who knows how to broadcast and who knows how to be interesting? And who’s not afraid to speak their mind?” And what else would Stern bring to the table? Well, judging by the jokes he made about current “Idol” judges Randy Jackson and Ellen DeGeneres, he wouldn’t be opposed to sparring with his fellow judges. And when asked about the kinds of critiques he’d offer up to auditioners, he replied with this hypothetical nugget. ” ‘Hey Fantasia, you’re not getting little boys hard. You look like you stepped out of a cartoon. … They want a Britney Spears or a Rihanna,” Stern said. “Little boys are scared that you are going to sit on them. You’re out. … You’ve got to go clean up your act. Get a haircut like Rihanna if you want little boys [to get excited about] you.” Should make for an interesting show! A spokesperson for 19 Entertainment, which produces “American Idol,” had not responded to MTV News’ request for comment at press time. Would Howard Stern make a good replacement for Simon Cowell on “American Idol”? What do you think? Sound off in the comments below! Related Videos Simon Cowell Leaves ‘American Idol’ Related Photos Who Should Replace Simon Cowell On ‘American Idol’? Simon Cowell On “American Idol”

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Howard Stern Considering Replacing Simon Cowell On ‘American Idol’

The 5 Stages of iPad Joke Grief

Now that we've all made the obvious joke , it's time to take a hard look at ourselves and face the difficult truth. Contribute: Add an image, link, video or comment

Conan O’Brien’s Final Show — Kinda Somber

Filed under: Jay Leno , Conan O’Brien Conan O’Brien just finished taping his final episode of “The Tonight Show” — and between the jokes, audience members described the scene as “somber.”We’re told that during the commercial breaks, crew members were saying goodbye to each other. Conan … Permalink

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Conan O’Brien’s Final Show — Kinda Somber

Was Timbaland Inspired By Calvin?

Timbaland makes a bunch of really strange faces in his music video for ” Morning After Dark .” Coincidence? Contribute: Add an image, link, video or comment

Neil Patrick Harris: Television’s First ‘Straight’ Character

Last night How I Met Your Mother showed Neil Patrick Harris ‘ character Barney extol his love of clothes in a song and dance number after hanging out with Tim Gunn. Wait isn’t Barney supposed to be straight

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Neil Patrick Harris: Television’s First ‘Straight’ Character

American Idol RIP: June 2002 — May 2010

Oh, everyone says this thing’s gonna end every year, don’t they? But this year it’s serious, guys. Famousest judge Simon Cowell is putting down the Coke cup in May, and that absolutely means the end.

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American Idol RIP: June 2002 — May 2010

‘American Idol’ Preview: Matt Giraud, Experts Look Ahead

With Ellen DeGeneres on board and Simon Cowell on his way out, we take a look at what we can expect. By Gil Kaufman “American Idol” season-nine judges Photo: FOX For the past couple of years, the producers of “American Idol” have gone out of their way to promise that this season they’re going to focus on the drama onstage, not behind the judge’s table. But, just like last year, when songwriter Kara DioGuardi joined the panel , the buzz on the eve of the show’s ninth season is squarely on the judges.

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‘American Idol’ Preview: Matt Giraud, Experts Look Ahead