Tag Archives: magazine-called

Bar Paly Will Blow Your Mind!

Well, if anybody out there still doesn’t believe me that Bar Paly is the hottest Bar in Hollywood, these latest shots of her for an Israeli magazine called Blazer definitely ought to settle it once and for all. And actually, after bikini pictures this good, I don’t think that title goes far enough. Forget the hottest Bar in Hollywood, I’m pretty sure she’s the hottest Bar in the entire world. Yow.

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Bar Paly Will Blow Your Mind!

Josephine Skriver Nipple in Fat Man Magazine of the Day

Josephine Skriver is a Victoria’s Secret model, and this is her nipple for some magazine called Fat Man Magazine, that I assume was designed for me, being a fat man, but then I realize is just mocking me, because I am a fat man…you know saying when you are built fat, girls like Josephine Skriver, straight from Denmark, will only have sex with you if you are rich or offering them citizenship, you know otherwise the only fat man getting up on this is gonna be a fucking magazine…but what they don’t realize is that fat men everywhere, can stare at these pics and masturbate to them, which when you’ve never had sex, like most fat men, is all they fucking know…so take that Josephine Skriver and your nipple for fashion…take that….

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Josephine Skriver Nipple in Fat Man Magazine of the Day

Audrina Patridge Topless In The Fourth Period

I’ve seen a lot of handbras over the years, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hockey glove bra before like the one Audrina Patridge is wearing here for some magazine called The Fourth Period . It’s not bad, but it offers way too much coverage for my liking. If they wanted to stick with the hockey theme, why not go with pucks? Or even better, a hockey net. Clearly this is why I need to go into the photoshoot consulting business.

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Audrina Patridge Topless In The Fourth Period

Top 20 Instagram Girls in Jerk off Pose of the Day

Girls are such slus…I was just browsing through instagram and it turns out that girls compare how they jerk dudes off in picture.. It’s like so many pictures of their jerk off hand in jerk off stance..reminding me of a better time when girls actually used to jerk you off…before they got lazy and realized sticking it in their pussy takes less work and causes less sour wrists… (worst joke ever. I’ve failed you)

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Top 20 Instagram Girls in Jerk off Pose of the Day

Nude Models for Bambi Magazine of the day

Juan Carlos Verona is some photographer who shot these two models named Alice and Mariana for some magazine called BAMBI MAGAZINE …and they are showing their tits…because it’s a better gig getting topless for some random ass magazine, than working at the discount grocery store handing out tampon samples… Makin’ moves, naked for fashion, maybe one day they’ll be famous, but for now they are putting in work, work I can appreciate, cuz it comes with nipples I can stare at.

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Nude Models for Bambi Magazine of the day

Beyonce in Shape but Not in Shape of the Day

Beyonce is a shape…round….but not in Shape….despite being featured in Shape. I know that is a confusing statement, that I can translate for you, since I wrote it. Beyonce is fat, sloppy, a mom and photoshopped for a magazine called Shape…that is about fitness, and people who are actually in Shape, but I guess they make exceptions when it comes to big A-Lister powerhouses, because it sells copies. Especially when controversial. I hate how she’s trying to be a sex pot, trying to compete with Rihanna who makes her husband more money than god, something we can assume has led to Beyonce stepping up her game, by stripping down her clothes and as much as I generally love that desperation. I’m not digging this, but I’m still willing to try jerking off to it, to challenge my masturbation abilities. It’s not self rape if I cum…but even if I cum, Beyonce is still the fucking devil.

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Beyonce in Shape but Not in Shape of the Day

Chanel Iman in Lingerie for Deluxe Magazine of the Day

The highlight of my life is that Christy Turlington dissed me on Instagram when I was trolling her pics. Sure it could have been one of her handlers, as most of these rich and famously successful people have, but it could have also been her…and as far as my vintage, throwback, old timer model fetish goes…it lead me to a happy place…just like Chanel Iman modeling lingerie like she was still 20…even though she’s already old news as Victoria’s Secret didn’t book her to do their show this year…I know she’s only 22 and can pull it together…but as far as I’m concerned she’s just an old timer just taking any job she gets… [gallery

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Chanel Iman in Lingerie for Deluxe Magazine of the Day

Ashley Tisdale Gives Me Boners on Social Media of the Day

I usually hate on Ashley Tisdale but the world is too beautiful of a place to fill it with hate…there is always so much negativity that we might as well celebrate the good and not the bad…and ultimately..why bother shitting on people…especially those with vaginas…just because they have an awkward face….you see cuz they still have tits, legs, pussy, asshole and mouth to fuck…they still have armpits, hands and feet to fuck…and they probably are more enthusiastic about it than the average vagina…cuz they feel ugly all the time…since their face…is kinda ugly…but maybe I’m just saying that cuz she’s posing in a way that works her flaws, hides her flaws and lets me focus on her assets…duck face that ho…and everything works out….at least for Ashley Tisdale…cuz this pic is erotic. Here are some pics of her modeling for some magazine called Jezebel this past month…just because I support her comeback tour…

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Ashley Tisdale Gives Me Boners on Social Media of the Day

Ashley Smith Tits for Oyster of the Day

Ashley Smith….not THE ASHLEY SMITH WHO KILLED HERSELF ON SUICIDE WATCH WHILE IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL …. but the busty Texan fashion model born in 1991….with rockin’ fucking tits…who is gap toothed but amazing to look at…is doing some semi nude…barely see her nipple…pics for a magazine called Oyster…that reminds me how badly I’d love to eat her oyster and play with her pearl…that was a horrible obvious vagina reference for those of you not down wih the slimely, fishy scented, but very popular sea food… She’s going places…places that will make the chance of me getting up inside her more and more challenging…but at least I get to look at her pictures…at least she gives me that….what an angel….

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Ashley Smith Tits for Oyster of the Day

Olivia Medina is Hot as Fuck for Rogue of the Day

Olivia Medina is hot as fuck at leasted when she is greased up for some Philippines magazine called Rogue, that you would have assumed was about caring for rich people’s bratty kids and houses, you know articles on how to get those whites whiter and how to make Jewish foods for the high holidays, but apparently I am ignorant, and Filipino’s have a real society that is more than just maids, I’m talking real industry, real fashion, real publishing…..and this bitch, Olvia Medina, is some half Filipino / half Canadian, probably from a white dad who fancied his hired help a little more than his wife would like, is cast as the half naked girl in it…and I think I may be in love….the kind of girl I’d pay the cleaning agency extra if they sent her to wash my dishes wearing this… Seriously a hot fucking body…Awesome.

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Olivia Medina is Hot as Fuck for Rogue of the Day