Tag Archives: might-as-well

CoCo Austin Stretches Out Her Dress

Today has been a very busy day for busty celebrities, I’ve had all kinds of boobage up on the site already, so I might as well see where it takes me. Here’s CoCo Austin and her massive chesticles at some party last night for Ice T’s documentary the Art Of Rap . I’m sure it’s an interesting film, but I think I’d rather watch a movie called the Art Of CoCo Squeezing Her Massive Breasts Into A Really Tight Dress . It’s two hours long, it’s in 3D and it’s in super slow motion. Awesome.

Kristen Stewart Pretty Hot in Elle of the DAy

I don’t give a fuck about Kristen Stewart….if anything she annoys me with her fame…because she’s not hot….and more importantly looks inbred…acts inbred….and probably is inbred….at least based on pics I once saw of her father……You see, she attached herself to something fucking huge, and in doing that made lots of money and secured her place in a bullshit industry, leading to never doing the porn she was destined to do that day she found out she loved the video camera back home on the trailer park…. Either way, she did a photoshoot, looked kinda hot in it, and I figured since I’d fuck anything, I might as well endorse imbred bitches who are popular…because lets face it, I got nothing else going on….

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Kristen Stewart Pretty Hot in Elle of the DAy

Where’s My Line? The Most Jacked Up Celebrity Hairlines Of All Time

The Worst Celebrity Hairlines Of All Time Hairlines. They’re hard to keep up. As people will tell you, when that hairline starts to go, you might as well forget it and go bald. But some guys (and ladies) hold on for dear life. When that happens, the hair line leans back like Fat Joe. Want some photo examples? Here they are. Jacked up hairlines in the history books.

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Where’s My Line? The Most Jacked Up Celebrity Hairlines Of All Time

Rihanna For Terry Richardson of the Day

Terry Richardson has a good thing going that we call access. He gets paid insane amounts of money by brands and the media to shoot famous bitches, models and singers, actors and fucking everyone….and in doing that he gets to poach the talent and pull the “do you mind taking a few pics for my next book” or “do you mind taking a few pics for my tumblr”….or “do you mind taking some test shots”…. Obviously these bitches jump on board…they love being in front of the camera…especially for a guy marketed as a legend in the making in photography….who some big mag has booked to shoot them….even though he’s uninspired and not revolutionary despite how many people copy his shit… I mean what do these bitches know…they are half retarded and live in their bubble and go with what they know….allowing him to profit, get exposure, and thus make more money with their image….It’s a great place to be….. Unfortunately, I appreciate what he’s doing, cuz at least he’s putting effort in, and these pics of Rihanna are hotter than most pics she’s in, I just would prefer if she was more naked while spreading that black gaping asshole…you know she’s down for that….might as well milk it….

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Rihanna For Terry Richardson of the Day

Prometheus Rated R, According to… Movie Ticket?

Speculation has swirled for a while now about whether or not Fox and Ridley Scott would pursue a PG-13 rating for its blockbuster hopeful Prometheus , which, if previews and disgusting animated GIFs are any indication, has plenty of raw sci-fi terrors to back up an R. But one fan who locked up an advance ticket to the film might have unintentionally solved the ratings puzzle. Collider passes along the accompanying photo, which an IMDB user apparently nabbed in advance over the weekend and passed along with the giddy declaration: “AS PROMISED!! CHECK THE LINK ABOVE, PROMETHEUS IS RATED R!!!!” ZOMG, etc. Sorry, kids! May I suggest Bully ? [ IMDB via Collider ] Follow S.T. VanAirsdale on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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Prometheus Rated R, According to… Movie Ticket?

4 Joss Whedon Stand-bys That Pay Off in The Avengers

The Avengers probably wouldn’t ever find itself compared to The Cabin in the Woods if the two films hadn’t been released within weeks of each other. As it is, moviegoers have had a virtual feast of familiar tics laid before us by writer-director-geek hero Joss Whedon. My Whedon fatigue is well-documented , so I was pleasantly surprised to find some of his schtick to be the best part of The Avengers . It’s not a straight-up assessment of quality — I liked The Cabin in the Woods better overall than The Avengers – but some of Whedon’s usual crutches worked better under the restrictions of the big-budget blockbuster than they did in the small, indie, meta-horror film, where he could let his id run wild. On the Whedonism scale of distracting to effective, here are four familiar tropes that worked well in The Avengers . [Spoilers ahead, and we’ll all have to agree to disagree on Firefly .] 1. The ragtag group of heroes. This was completely out of Whedon’s control, but completely in his wheelhouse. Buffy, Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse were all ensemble dramas, making Whedon probably the best possible director to take on this studio-mandated supergroup of superheroes. By now he knows how to juggle characters and storylines – and when to let some drop. (Even though I’m not one of the Firefly faithful, I really enjoyed Serenity precisely because of the restrictions it placed on Whedon; he had to wrap up the Firefly series and still tell a coherent, independent story in under two hours, which forced him to strip away a lot of what I found to be self-indulgent or poorly thought-out on the television show.) The Avengers doesn’t try to give equal time to each of the heroes; it might as well be called Iron Man 2.5 . Thor is there to swing his hammer and drop off the villain from his movie, Hawkeye gets brainwashed before we even know him, and Captain America fades into Tony Stark’s straight man. And you know what? Those are good things. The movie’s already over two hours, I don’t really need subplots for most of the dudes who are lining up their own sequels. And by choosing a few of the Avengers to focus on, Whedon made me more invested in what happened to Stark and Black Widow and the Hulk during the course of the movie. 2. The poignant death of the supporting characters. From Tara and Joyce Summers to Wesley and Wash, Whedon’s pretty ruthless about killing off the nice, sweet supporting characters. Poor Agent Coulson never had a chance. Yes, the guy has had a target on his back since his first appearance in Iron Man turned him into a multi-movie flunky, but his actual death in The Avengers was probably the movie’s biggest surprise. Whedon played it very effectively – it was a rare moment of emotion amid the sky-monsters and damaged buildings and Tom Hiddleston’s distracting horned helmet, and I believed in Coulson’s death much more than the movie ever made me believe that Iron Man would actually have to sacrifice himself to save Manhattan. 3. Topping the platonic ideal of the action-movie quip. From Buffy on, Whedon has perfected the sly, self-referential one-liner tossed amid the carnage and choreographed fight scenes. Which is great, if increasingly unremarkable now that most action movies star snarky, Han Solo-wannabes who never let a fight to the death get in the way of their quips. As always, Tony Stark is more than happy to oblige in The Avengers , and gets off some particularly memorable meta-comments about Thor’s “Shakespeare in the Park” superhero garb. But Whedon’s humor worked for me a little bit more here than it did in Cabin in the Woods – it was less distracting, or maybe just more welcome in the face of the tedious Blockbuster Special Effects. I especially liked the visual humor he wrung out of the Hulk, who responds to victory by punching Thor and meets Loki’s threats by banging him around like a piece of pizza dough. A few days after seeing The Avengers , I don’t remember a lot of the dialogue, but I do remember those images. 4. Women who sometimes get to do things. I was not very impressed with the women of Cabin in the Woods , but The Avengers was definitely a step back towards Buffy and Zoe and the other women Whedon allows to be more than onlookers and love interests. True, The Avengers won’t pass the Bechdel test , and poor Cobie Smulders might as well have been wearing an “Exposition Girl” nametag. But Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts makes a big impression in a few minutes of screen time, and I was pleasantly surprised at how much Scarlett Johannson’s Black Widow gets to do, especially considering her rather dismal introduction in Iron Man 2 . She gets an action scene or two, she’s shown using her diplomacy and wits to recruit the Hulk and figure out the villain’s plan, and while her loyalty to Hawkeye helps develop her character, she’s not reduced to the anxious girlfriend – in fact, her conversation with Loki cleverly subverts that trope. According to Adam Rogers’ great Whedon profile in Wired , Marvel actually considered dropping Black Widow from the film at one point; Whedon not only fought for her to stay so that the superheroes’ base didn’t turn into a “gay cruise,” he made her into one of his three main protagonists. Which is appreciated by all of us girls who don’t need to ask our boyfriends when The Avengers comes out. Maria Aspan is a writer living in New York whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Reuters and American Banker. She Tweets and Tumbls .

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4 Joss Whedon Stand-bys That Pay Off in The Avengers

Melanie Iglesias and Lisa Ramos Try to Serve Kate Upton’s Bad Dancing of the Day

Melanie Iglesisas, who is a Youtube star, and much like Kate Upton, has been able to secure her own level of internet fame, cuz dudes like hot girls who get half naked for attention….only unlike Kate Upton, she’s more of a low level bottom feeder, who lands shows on MTV2 and spreads in Maxim…where as Kate Upon does high fashion, is a real model, and despite me finding her overrated, she’s still next level compared to this Melanie Trash…. Either way, they did a failed video attempt to school Kate Upton in bad dancing, or the Cat Daddy Dance even though Kate Upton’s bad dancing was done in a skimpy bikini , while these bitches just look like Cubano Cholos from South Beach about to get pregnant before high school grad….. Boring – but 1,000,000 of her fans already watched it, I figured I might as well endorse a desperate cunt as hard as I generally like to fuck desperate cunts.

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Melanie Iglesias and Lisa Ramos Try to Serve Kate Upton’s Bad Dancing of the Day

Michelle Hunziker Is Still In A Little Bikini

Today has already been a pretty good day for hot chicks in their bikinis, so I might as well keep it going with yet another beauty doing her thing half naked. Here’s Michelle Hunziker rocking a little bathing suit as she vacations next to the pool. I’m just assuming she’s on vacation, this could just be her life, she’s a really hot chick so she probably has at least one rich old dude paying all her bills. Lucky old guy.

Taylor Momsen Does Her Trashy Thing

I’ve already had a teenager on the site in a short dress today with shots of Kendall Jenner, so I thought I might as well get some shots of one of the most notorious inappropriately dressed teenagers out there Taylor Momsen doing her thing on stage. Obviously her thing involves dressing up as a goth hooker and singing some crappy songs that nobody cares about. Hot.

Emily Ratajkowski Naked for Treats Magazine of the DAy

I posted a couple of pics of Emily Ratajkowski naked in Treats magazine…she’s some bitch from iCARLY who decided that modeling was the best hustle for her…but more importantly nude modeling….because you might as well get paid to get naked than release nude pics that aren’t professionally shot and awkward…and I’m pretty happy she did…cuz she’s fucking hot….but more importantly…her pussy is an inny not an outty…a coinslot not a sloppy beefy sandwich…which is always exciting on a bitch with tits like this…who is built like this…with lips like this…shit….she’s good.

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Emily Ratajkowski Naked for Treats Magazine of the DAy