Tag Archives: outrageously

Nick Cannon SLAMS Ariana Grande, Calls Kate Beckinsale a Cougar

We know that  Wendy WIlliams plans to return to television . In the mean time, some special guests are filling in. One of them is Nick Cannon, who has special insight into  Pete Davidson's romance with Kate Beckinsdale . Nick calls Kate a “cougar,” but mostly takes the opportunity to roast Pete's ex, Ariana Grande. “Last night I was hanging out with my little brother, Pete Davidson,” Nick tells the audience. He elaborates, saying: “We were in Brooklyn!” “We were having some good conversation,” he shares, adding: “We were having cougar conversations.” It's no mystery what he means by that. Pete is 25 years old. Kate Beckinsale, with whom he has been repeatedly spotted in recent weeks, is 45. (She really is! I didn't believe it, either) “I taught that young boy well,” Nick brags. He is implying that it was at his instruction that Pete hooked up with the outrageously hot Kate Beckinsale. “I will take credit for it,” Nick announces. “I'm the one who told him, 'Get you an older woman, man!' I said that.” “Leave them little pop stars alone!” Nick advised Pete, he says.  “An old woman knows what she wants!” he tells the audience. “She don't play no games!” Is Nick really characterizing Kate Beckinsale as  old ? “That's what I'm talking about,” Nick says. “Get you somebody older!” “Them little pop stars,” Nick characterizes. “They don't know!” That sounds pretty condescending, but Nick does have an example. “They giving Japanese menus tattooed on their backs from the sushi restaurant,” he jokes. Ariana attempted to get “7 Rings” tattooed on her hand. Instead, the kanji spells out “BBQ.” “I'm joking,” Nick clarifies. “But that is Ariana Grande's hand.” “I think that's even after she tried to fix it,” he says. Actually,  this  image is after she tried to fix it but accidentally  made it worse . “That's some young girl stuff,” Nick declares. “Older women don't like tardy barbecues,” he says.  Nick then jokes: “They like chitlins and grits.” We cannot speak as to Kate Beckinsale's dietary preferences. Nick appears to be making a reference to some traditional Southern dishes that might be viewed as “soul food.” He's trying to speak to Wendy Williams' core audience, but he might be laying it on a little thick. Nick Cannon does admit that he doesn't have that much high ground when it comes to tattoos. He famously had a back tattoo of Mariah Carey's name back when they were together. “That was for love! That's love right there,” Nick explains “I just added to it,” he says. “I put some more on there.” That doesn't seem all that different from Ariana's tattoo. The real difference is that Ariana's tat's problem isn't the intended content, but the poorly translated execution. Pete Davidson is a comedian. He understands that his friends are going to use their conversations as material. But is Kate Beckinsale going to enjoy being called an “old woman,” or even a “cougar,” by one of Pete's friends? She'll probably just ignore it, but it's just not a cool thing to say. Don't get me wrong, I'm a lifelong member of the 30-is-old crowd, but you don't go around calling a 45-year-old woman “old.”

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Nick Cannon SLAMS Ariana Grande, Calls Kate Beckinsale a Cougar

The Legend of FML

Sorry Flicker, your pride is in another castle. Don’t worry, you can win it back, just cross Hyrule field, go see Impa and tell her about the blue rat’s ring you’ve been collecting for a while, she’ll give you a barrel ticket to Donkey’s place. oh right, he’s still searching for his bananas, he won’t be here to welcome you. Here’s a tip, the Team Rocket stole his bananas, so go and catch’em all. Oh, did you hear this music? It’s the game-over theme, you didn’t make it in time. It’s okay, press reset and try again. Select character: Steve Napierski . Here we go-oh ! Steve is 30. He’s living somewhere in Virginia, USA. Officially, his real job is a web designer, but he’s also a freelance artist, doing some web design, animation, illustrations, etc. As curious as ever, we investigated Steve ‘s life by interviewing him of course, but also by hiring a private detective, going through his garbage, questioning his neighbors, etc.  The usual routine. In our defense, we did all that because Steve is as secretive as your next door fast food restaurant’s nugget recipe. But we assume Steve has more chicken in him.   Never mind, we’ll talk about his current, and most famous, project: Dueling Analogs , a semi-weekly color  web comic that lampoons the culture and subtext of modern gaming culture. He also has another web comic that is about to end, it’s called The Outer Circle. And lastly a super secret (because is such an expert on keeping secrets that he has been asked by the CIA to create a new internal secret language) third project that he has been working on for years and will be launching very soon. Dueling Analogs was launched on November 17th, 2005. Steve wanted to do another gaming web comic because he felt there weren’t enough of them on the internet. Joke, laugh please. Honestly, he had been doing The Outer Circle for a while and decided he wanted to do another web comic that was not story driven. Dueling Analogs was that. Dueling Analogs is even more than that, it’s all that a web comic can dream of. It’s funny, often updated, it’s about videogames, sometimes it’s gory, but it’s always well drawn; five reasons to check his web comic immediately. “- Steve , now that the interview is finished, we reckon that we can tell you that we’re huge fan of Dueling Analogs, so how did you manage to be such a videogame web comic icon? -I’m a self-taught college drop out. But, I make more money than most of the people I know with college degrees. F— Their lives. -Oh, okay. Why did you choose this FML? -Because FML is friggin’ awesome. Schadenfreude is definite what makes most of the world feel good about themselves. And this is the schadenfreude nexus of the internet. -Why did you decided to send an illustration for FML? -Because I really didn’t have a good story to submit. Fuck my boring life. Besides I look forward to the rest of the world commenting that the jerseys referenced in the FML are real football jerseys, a.k.a. soccer, and not American football are I drew.” Comments, we’re waiting for them. Thank you for your participation Steve , and remember: “Videogames ruined my life, good thing I have two extra lives!”   Steve’s awesome website is here: http://www.duelinganalogs.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice@fmylife.com which starts with a hello and ends with a goodbye, including your name, age, and a link to your website/blog. If you don’t have one, attach some of your drawings. But DON’T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with Alice, who still has her super NES, who will tell you what you have to do!

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The Legend of FML

Nevada legalizes male prostitution

On Friday, one of Nevada's most important industries took a big step toward gender equality. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean men in leotards will now be serving cocktails on casino floors at 9 a.m., but it does mean that people who like to have sex with men will legally be able to purchase an opportunity to do so. Technically, male prostitution wasn't expressly prohibited before, but health codes required “that prostitutes must undergo 'cervical' testing for sexually transmitted diseases,” leaving those without a cervix out of a job

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Nevada legalizes male prostitution