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Bozell Column: Art in America

The Bravo cable network has a new reality show called “Work of Art,” a competition dedicated to finding the next great American artist. The half-dozen contestants, 20-something aspiring artists all, enter the famous Phillips de Pury art auction house. Mr. de Pury himself ushers them into the special room where they are presented with a collection of paintings by Andres Serrano, the man who came to fame in 1989 with the ghastly painting, sponsored by the National Endowment of the Arts, depicting a crucifix dunked in a jar of urine. They are hugely impressed. The final painting they are shown is just that — the original “Piss Christ.” They are in awe, quietly expressing their amazement at the talent. And then the door opens and in steps the master. The students freeze, eyes bright, mouths agape. The curator announces, “the great, great Serrano!” One girl instinctively bows reverently. Serrano explains his art. “Life, art, politics. It’s all the same s—-…. People in general always think their s—- is the best. So if you really want to see some real s—-, check out my s—-.” Six times he utters the expletive; the students giggle with glee. And now the contestants are given their assignment: Create a body of art as shocking as that of Serrano. The judges will select the four contestants who will proceed to the next round. More giggles and laughter. Each artist is given a $100 voucher with which to buy supplies. One man says he will make an artwork about that “taboo theme,” the sexually abusive priest. “It’s not an anti-religion piece,” he claims. “I don’t know anybody personally who’s been sexually abused by a priest, but I read a statistic once that said there were more Catholic priests living with AIDS than there were everyone else.” Besides garbled syntax, it is pure idiocy. He can’t possibly think a small group of homosexual priests represents the largest grouping of the million-plus Americans living with HIV or AIDS. But he is an artist, and he does. He shoots a crude photograph of two pairs of feet in a bed, below a crucifix. One is meant to represent the priest, the other the abused boy. That’s just the beginning. Now a girl, handsomely endowed, takes a batch of pictures of herself wearing only panties. “High art” is how she describes her product. The curator examines her semi-naked pictures, with emphasis on her naked breasts, and deems the display to be “gorgeous.” But what the judges would later describe as “brilliant” is her special touch: setting these pictures next to a black felt-tip pen so the gallery audience could scrawl on them whatever graffiti or obscenities they inspire. One contestant is a reputed Christian. Her presentation is a weird distortion of the Last Supper, with a beardless Jesus Christ surrounded by gossipy people holding weapons. Another woman paints models with bloodied faces with the slogans “Syphilis by Prada” and “Herpes by Chanel.” There is the dreaded self-described “performance artist,” who constructs some sort of demented, dilapidated cardboard tepee, then sits in the middle of it with a plastic bag over her head, like a mental patient, fondling what looks like a bag of excrement. Serrano likes it but complains, “I don’t smell anything.” Then there are the men. The self-described gay man is fixated on the vision of a friend who once told him he was capable of “auto-fellatio” — performing oral sex on himself. (We’re told he’s become a recluse since discovering this talent, chuckle, chuckle.) Our artist paints the scene, but the judges are appalled. There is no shock value, they proclaim. “It should have been a photograph of you attempting this position,” a judge laments. One artist explains that he had his first erection while watching “The Little Mermaid,” so he decides to create a line drawing of the iconic shape of Mickey Mouse’s head filled with “misshapen genitals, b—-holes and nipples.” But it’s not shocking enough, he concludes, so he goes into the bathroom and decorates it with his own semen. This isn’t the only work of “art” with that theme. There’s the man who titles his painting “My Tranny Porno Fantasy.” He explains what he’s going to paint: “I have this vision of myself as post-coital, post-bondage, post-(ejaculation) tranny with really bad makeup, an electrical cord around my neck and a pink wig.” He worries aloud, laughing out loud, that the semen isn’t visible enough on his painted face. His colleagues are shocked — and love it. “Ryan’s piece is just … a little … yeah,” one contestant laughs nervously, approvingly. The winners are chosen and move on. Another episode of “Work of Art” is complete, a program aired on national television via your basic cable subscription by the Bravo network, owned by NBC, soon to be owned by Comcast, sponsored by the likes of Geico insurance and Crest toothpaste, and rated TV-14, meaning it is appropriate for any youngster at that age. There is no outcry because our popular culture is thoroughly rotten. There reaches a point where you have to say it: I believe in evil. Satan is laughing.

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Bozell Column: Art in America

:: paco peregrín ::-is MAD

One of those MAD=genius sorts of things Paco Peregr

‘MacGruber’: Saturday Night Jive, By Kurt Loder

Another ‘SNL’ skit pumped up to pass for a movie. By Kurt Loder Will Forte in “MacGruber” Photo: Universal Pictures One walks in to any movie based on a “Saturday Night Live” skit with basement-level expectations. Still, the new “MacGruber” manages to disappoint. The most interesting thing about the picture is that, with a little tweaking, it might actually have been turned into an enjoyable parody of an ’80s-style action flick: Bullets fly, stuff blows up, doorway-size heavies lend menace, and it’s all been rendered with a knowing fondness for the form by cinematographer Brandon Trost (who also shot “Crank: High Voltage”). But too early on, comedy begins cropping up, and it’s all sub-basement from there on out. “SNL” enthusiasts will know that the skits this picture seeks to inflate are riffs on the ’80s TV show “MacGyver,” the hero of which was a gun-shy secret agent capable of combining the unlikeliest oddments — a cufflink, a crayon and a cantaloupe, say — into useful tools in stressful situations. The skits mine laughs from the manic incompetence of their special agent, MacGruber (played both there and here by Will Forte), and from the explosions he inevitably fails to abort. The movie attempts to do the same, but after maybe 20 minutes of Forte’s frantic, one-note mugging, it’s left with nowhere else to go — and there’s still more than an hour of this thing to sit through. The story has MacGruber — long thought dead — being tracked down to the remote monastery where he’s holed up by his former commander, Colonel Faith (Powers Boothe). The colonel has a new assignment: stopping MacGruber’s old adversary, Dieter Von Cunthe (Val Kilmer), from wreaking havoc with a nuclear warhead he’s stolen. Since Von Cunthe is the man who blew up MacGruber’s wife 10 years earlier, the legendary agent agrees to take a shot. To this end, he assembles an A-Team of special-ops brutes (all played by professional wrestlers), who are suddenly disbanded when the van into which he’s packed them (what else?) blows up. Desperate for replacements, MacGruber recruits an old colleague, Vicki St. Elmo (Kristen Wiig), and a whippersnapper Army lieutenant called Piper (Ryan Phillippe). Wiig remains a master of the throwaway line-reading, but some of the lines she’s handed here might have just as effectively been thrown away before they reached her; and Phillippe, for his part, is employed as a wooden straight man whose only function is to endure (along with us) Forte’s endless stretchy-faced verbal conniptions. Bad taste is supposed to be a badge of honor in a movie like this, but really, is there anyone left to offend with it? The non-stop barrage of F-words and whatnot unleashed in this film lost any ability to shock long ago; and while the name Cunthe was no doubt good for a giggle around the writer’s table, in its 50th repetition here it tests the limits of tedium. There’s also more poop humor than one might have thought strictly necessary. In fact, the movie has something of an anal fixation: One of MacGruber’s diversionary tactics is to stick a stalk of celery between his thighs so that it protrudes between his bare buttocks; and he’s curiously prone to offer up his nether region for rough use by men from whom he seeks favors. The picture also suffers from a lack of comic precision. At one point, we see Von Cunthe painting a picture using a topless fat old woman as a model. This has the shape of a gag — but what is it? Von Cunthe’s art hobby comes out of nowhere and immediately returns there, and we’re left with nothing in the way of amusement beyond an old woman’s humiliation. Presumably, this seemed funny during the scripting sessions, too. “MacGruber” demonstrates once again the inadvisability of attempting to stretch a one-minute TV sketch into a 90-minute movie — especially when the lead character is nothing more than an assemblage of over-amped and decreasingly funny wisecracks. “SNL” has been pounding the MacGruber character for more than three years now; could anyone really have thought there was a drop of humor left to be wrung from it? Or an audience parched enough for laughs to want more? Don’t miss Kurt Loder’s review of “Solitary Man,” also new in theaters this week. Check out everything we’ve got on “MacGruber.” For breaking news, celebrity columns, humor and more — updated around the clock — visit MTVMoviesBlog.com .

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‘MacGruber’: Saturday Night Jive, By Kurt Loder

Kate Winslet Gets One Step Closer To DiCaprio Destiny

Link: http://www.bestweekever.tv/2010-03-15… The ever-radiant Kate Winslet announced she is separating from director hubby Sam Mendes. Move the fuck over, Bar Refaeli. It's TIME. Read

Hipster Victory.

I love their song 'fuck yeah we're so edgy and schwing' but it's not as good as 'no one understands me or my skinny jeans.' View

A Study In Bad-assery

Batman fighting a shark with a lightsaber. This painting will go in the den next to the stuffed piranha I got at a garage sale. View

Armor, liquor, punk rock, pencils and some FAILs that I don’t think are FAILs (#18)

People call things FAILs, when they aren’t reall FAILworthy.

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Armor, liquor, punk rock, pencils and some FAILs that I don’t think are FAILs (#18)

Two Princes Before You

Artist Nicky Philipps unveiled this painting of Prince William and Prince Harry at the National Portrait Gallery in London. What do you guys think of it?

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Two Princes Before You

Drake Returns To Studio With Kanye West, Contemplates Album’s First Single

‘He’s back and ready to make this all happen,’ Drizzy says of working with West, in Mixtape Daily. By Shaheem Reid, with additional reporting by Steven Roberts Drake Photo: Tyrone Kerr/ Getty Images The O.D.: A Mixtape Daily Exclusive Drake has been spoiled by the mixtape game. With So Far Gone, he dropped the entire body of work and let the people pick their favorite records (Drake’s is ” A Night Off” with Lloyd, if you were wondering)

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Drake Returns To Studio With Kanye West, Contemplates Album’s First Single

Sly Stallone’s Art Wynns Big Money

Filed under: Paparazzi Photo There is actually something Sylvester Stallone can make these days besides tired sequels … expensive art.The 63-year-old muscle head unleashed his inner Picasso and sold one of his paintings to Vegas casino kingpin Steve Wynn in Miami on Wednesday. …

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Sly Stallone’s Art Wynns Big Money