The two-hour season finale of Empire is airing on Wednesday, and we’re waiting to see how everything with the Lyons family pans out. Jussie Smollett, who plays…
Dear Bossip , I’ve been dating this guy for 3 years and it’s been pretty awesome. But, lately, I’ve been getting tired of him. He’s a really nice guy, but he’s boring. We’re thinking of moving out together within a year, but I don’t know if it’ll be a big mistake. I’m the adventurous type and he’s not willing to do anything fun. And, if we go anywhere (like to the zoo, movies, any adventure, etc.) he’ll complain about how bored he is, and say were blowing all our money away. It’s not even expensive things either, they’re actually pretty cheap. He hates when I hang out with someone else, especially if he’s just home alone. I just feel like if I do break up with him…I won’t find anyone else. Also, the love/spark/passion isn’t there for me. I just feel like it’s good enough. Should I go to a relationship counselor also? He also has jealousy problems and road rage. I don’t know if that helps at all. – Bored Of Him Dear Ms. Bored Of Him , Let me ask this? Is it that he’s always been a boring Debbie Downer who doesn’t like doing things, and has always complained about your dating adventures? I mean, you probably overlooked his negative comments and statements, and just blew them off. You figured he’d change or eventually find some activity fun and engaging. Or, is it that you’ve grown tired of his complaining and negativity, and have opened your eyes and realize that he is not going to change. This is the way he is and you’re simply over him? Honey, relationships run their course. Sometimes people grow apart, and people outgrow each other. You know the saying – “People come into your life for a reason, season, and lifetime.” Is the season over? Has this relationship run its course? Or, more importantly, have you stopped making excuses for his behavior, his negativity, and his jealousy, and you have realized that he is not the man you thought or hoped he would be? And, that is exactly what it sounds like. It sounds like you’ve woken out of your slumber of, “I can’t change him,” and you have reflected over your relationship and began to notice a pattern. He’s boring. He doesn’t enjoy the outings with you. He gets jealous when you leave and you do things without him. And, he has road rage. So, when you began your letter stating your relationship has been awesome, well, sweetie, I was looking for all the awesome parts of it. You went straight for the jugular and mentioned all the things you don’t like. So, does the things you don’t like outweigh the good? I’m concerned that you’re considering moving out with him, and you didn’t talk about being engaged, or plans to marry. You are ready to shack up with someone you feel is “good enough,” and the passion/spark/love isn’t there for you. Girl, does that make any damn sense at all! You are going to hold on to a man you don’t have any passion for, no sparks, and no love, but, because he’s a man and he’s there and it’s been 3 years you’re going to move in with him and hope things change? Next, he’s jealous and has road rage. He has anger issues, and he’s controlling. Call it out, girl! Now, does his road rage frighten you and do you feel endangered when you’re with him? Do you fear he will get into a confrontation and something dangerous will happen? If road rage has a grip on him, and the fact you’ve brought it up, then I am sure you’re thinking or have thought what if it gets out of control and it is directed toward you. Jealousy. This has been ongoing in your relationship. I’m sure you’ve had many arguments, and disagreements due to his jealousy. You’ve put up with it for 3 years. Now, are you willing to continue to put up with it, or are you going to continue to dismiss it? Yes, you can go to a counselor, and discuss your relationship, but the issues are with him. He’s needs to be in therapy. He’s dealing with anger, jealousy, and control. You’re enabling him by allowing him to do it, and you haven’t checked him on it. He only does what he does because you let him. You should have checked all of this early on. Now, it is out of hand, and you’re having second thoughts about where this relationship is going and where it will end up. But, consider these: Why is he jealous when he doesn’t want to go out or do anything? Is he jealous of your friends? Is he jealous another man will take you away from him? Do you think he wants to control you? Has he tried to control you and the relationship? How would you assess his anger, and is it only road rage? Look, if everything you recommend to do as an outing is so boring and money wasting, then ask him to recommend something he would enjoy doing, or ask him to pick something for the two of you to do. Make him responsible for the outing, and the decision making, and then if he complains you will have your answer. If he doesn’t enjoy the event, or activity he’s chosen, then you can’t make him happy, please him, nor can anything else. He’s just boring. Get out of the relationship. Nothing is going to change. He will not become the man you want him to be. He will not grow, mature, or all of a sudden become exciting. You will be miserable, unhappy, and eventually you will start cheating. If the passion, spark, and love is not there, and it’s been 3 years, I’m sorry, this relationship is doomed. End it, and move on with your life. Why spend another 3 months, or 3 years with someone whom is only ‘okay.’ You are passing the time with him. And, it’s not fair to either of you. Stop being so desperate to hold on to a man just so you can say you have a man. There are plenty of men who are adventurous, fun, outgoing, and enjoyable to be around. Your man is not that man. I don’t recommend moving in together. It will be a huge mistake, and I do know that once you move in together his jealousy will increase, and eventually he will start trying to control you. Save yourself from this potential headache and stress. – Terrance Dean Photo source: Shuttershock Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @ terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Patti Labelle has always pushed the envelope when it came to fashion, so Meredith gets her opinion on the current trendsetters in the music scene – Nicki Minaj & Lady Gaga. youtube
Is Nicki Minaj about to face a little competition in the game? Remy Ma will be released from prison in July, according to her husband Papoose . The Brooklyn rapper made the announcement during a recent show. Reports Amy Traphouse: Bad gal rapper Remy Ma has been locked up for an assault charge since 2008, but according to her boo she is set to be released in a couple of months. Papoose announced at a recent show in Allentown, PA that his main girl will be coming home soon much to the delight to fans. “They locked my b*tch up for six years, but guess what? July she coming home,” Papoose said to the crowd prior to evoking a “Remy, Remy” chant… [ HipHopWired ] De La Soul To Unleash Entire Catalog For Free On Valentine’s Day Fans of De La Soul are rejoicing all around the world after the legendary trio announced it will be releasing its entire catalog for free on Valentine’s Day. The flood of music will mark the 25th anniversary of their debut album 3 Feet High and Rising next month, and will grant 25 hours for listeners to raid their vaults via the crew’s website. Rolling Stone got the exclusive from the crew, chatting with Posdnuous who explained the impetus behind the generous giveaway. While it is a show a good faith for fans supporting the crew for a quarter of a century, there’s another reason behind the deluge as well… [ HipHopWired ] Patti Labelle On Which Singers Inspire Her: “Not Many” Last month we told you about how Patti Labelle came for “all the little heifers” out here referring to themselves as divas. When in reality, they can’t sing all that well. Yikes. She didn’t name names though, so were left guessing about who she was referencing. But today, on “The Queen Latifah” show she spoke about the singers she actually admires today. See who she named and who she called a mini version of herself. Queen Latifah: What performers inspire you today? Patti: “Who’s awesome? I think Fantasia is awesome. She’s a mini me. You know, she kicks her shoes off before she starts the show. I said ‘Baby girl, wait until at least the seventh song.’ She says, ‘Mama, I like to kick em off when I get out there like you do.’ She is one of the people that you should watch. Of course, Christina Aguilera. Of course…umm not many. There are a lot of people that call themselves whatever. But we know best. You know, Dana…” [ MadameNoire ] Kendall Jenner Shows Them Nips Off On Marc Jacobs’ Runway [ TMZ ] Simon Cowell Wants His Baby To Have A British Accent [ StarPulse ] Tupac Shakur’s Biopic Will Begin Filming This Summer [ VIBEvixen ] Sochi Athletes Are Hooking Up Via Tinder In Their Spare Time [ TheDailyBeast ]
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