Were you in the mood for some hillbilly hotness? I know I was. Well, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s Miley Cyrus showing off some skin in her always classy daisy dukes and braless t-shirt combination. Women wear this kind of thing to weddings in the south right? Personally I like this outfit, it’s got all the things I like, legs, belly and some nice perky breasts. What more could you ask for? I can’t wait to see her redneck wedding dress, I bet there’s a hole to show off her boobies. Hot.
It’s not every day you see a movie and ask yourself, “Why does this thing even exist?” But I’m truly puzzled by the existence of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter . I get that it’s based on a novel by Seth Grahame-Smith, part of a pop literary genre — launched by Grahame-Smith himself — that takes famous figures, fictional or otherwise, and pits them against vampires and zombies. I get that it’s directed by Timur Bekmambetov, the zany Russian-Kazakh mastermind behind cult apocalyptic favorites Night Watch and Day Watch (2004 and 2006, respectively), not to mention the stupidly entertaining 2008 action thriller Wanted. I even grant you that it’s probably OK to make up wholly imaginary motives for why Abraham Lincoln might have wanted to end slavery, motives having to do not with the preservation of human dignity, equality between all people and all that rot, but because it was kind of a handy sideline to the task of ridding the world of vampires. I know and accept all of this. And still I ask — Why? I do understand, sort of, the appeal of Benjamin Walker, a young actor who made a splash on the New York stage a few years back in another semi-historical (actually, pretty damn historical) work of fiction, Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson . In Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter , he plays first the young and then, with a strip of fun fur attached to his chin, the older Abe Lincoln, radiating a suitable degree of Mount Rushmorelike intensity. But again I ask — Why? Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter provides an alternative history of the Civil War, one that begins during Abe’s childhood: He realizes an evil neighbor has caused the death of his mother, but he doesn’t know exactly how. Later, he meets a fellow who explains it all: Henry Sturgess (Dominic Cooper) gives Abe the lowdown on vampires who restlessly walk the earth — the man who murdered Abe’s mother was one of these nasty dudes — and then trains him in the art of vampire destruction (it’s a little more complicated than you might imagine), necessitating a training sequence in which Abe learns to twirl an ax like a majorette at Ole Miss. Mid-movie, Abe retires from the vampire hunting game and turns his attention to politics. By this time, he’s married (to a serene Mary Todd, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead), and before long, the Civil War breaks out and things get really hairy, including his chin. It’s then that Abe learns the bloodsuckers, led by vampires extraordinaire Adam (Rufus Sewell) and Vedoma (leggy model-turned-actress Erin Wasson), play an even more sinister role in American politics than he’d previously thought. Meanwhile, the always-terrific Anthony Mackie wanders through the film listlessly as Abe’s Black Friend. It doesn’t take long for Bekmambetov to wear out his welcome with a laundry list of generic-looking action sequences: When you’ve seen one vampire get stabbed in the eyeball, you’ve seen ’em all. Actually, the script, written by Grahame-Smith, explains the whole North vs. South, Abolitionist vs. pro-slavery interests, vampire vs. human thing pretty well, considering how inane it is. And the picture is surprisingly handsome-looking, especially for a 3D vehicle. (The DP is Caleb Deschanel.) But none of those attributes are enough to convince me that Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter isn’t the sort of story that’s best left as an unfilmed concept. The moment Winstead’s Mary Todd Lincoln taps her foot impatiently and calls to her husband, “Hurry, Abraham — we’ll be late for the theater!” can’t come soon enough. At least Grahame-Smith had the good sense to realize he couldn’t make up a better ending. Follow Stephanie Zacharek on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
Kate Upton , Miranda Kerr has seen your bikini photos and decided to raise you a couple of her own. The super model took to Instagram yesterday, posted a shot of herself in a pink two-piece and simply wrote: 50 shades of Miranda . Really, what else needs to be said? It’s unclear where Orlando Bloom’s prettier half took this picture, and it’s also unclear why any warm-blooded male would give a darn. Especially when she then followed up the above shot with another one. Check out that Miranda Kerr bikini pic now and don’t worry about thanking us any time soon. We understand. You might need awhile.
It took many years and a couple kids, but Matthew McConaughey is now a married man. He got hitched to Camila Alves on June 9. Literally, how did the actor arrive at that union? How did he propose to his beautiful girlfriend? “At Christmas time, we go around our family and everyone takes turns opening presents. So I had wrapped the engagement ring in about eight different boxes deep, so she would keep opening boxes to get with it,” McConaughey said Tuesday The Tonight Show With Jay Leno . “We finally got to her, and I’m calling my family over. She gets to it, she opens it up, her eyes go wide. I take a knee and I ask her, ‘Will you marry me and take my name?'” How did Alves respond to the star who bares almost all in this Magic Mike trailer ? “The first word out of her mouth was not ‘yes.’ I’m not gonna say what it was. But I did say, ‘Look, I’m down on a knee. I’ll stay here awhile. I will outlast you.’ And I did! She conceded.” As for the wedding itself? McConaughey said his fiancee had the idea to simply put up tents in the backyard in order to construct a “village” and have their friends/family members just camp out for three full days. Sounds very much like this laid back couple, as does the following story about one gift they received on their big day: “[My friend] gave us a sword with a big card that says, ‘For the couple that has everything. Swing your sword!'”
LeRoy Neiman, a prolific artist whose dynamically colored paintings and sketches honored heroic figures of sports and entertainment, died Wednesday. He was 91. His New York-based publicist confirmed Neiman’s death. Throughout his life, Neiman was a larger-than-life yet approachable figure who came to epitomize the magazine with which he had a long association, Playboy . After studying and then teaching at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, Neiman’s distinctive style originated by using quick brush strokes with the enamel paint that was being tossed out by a building janitor. The Playboy association that became synonymous with his personal style and that of his art, began in the mid-’50s, when Hugh Hefner’s magazine was new. Once the publisher saw LeRoy Neiman’s canvases with their energetic depictions of boxers and nightlife denizens, a professional marriage was born. “I’ve had a lucky life,” Neiman said in 2008. “I zeroed in on what you would call action and excellence. … Everybody who does anything to try to succeed has to give the best of themselves, and art has made me pull the best out of myself.”
Oracle co-founder CEO Larry Ellison will soon be the proud owner of Lanai, Hawaii’s sixth-largest island. Seriously, he bought 98 percent of the thing. The price? A relatively modest $500-600 million, according to reports. Ellison hasn’t said what he plans to do with the vast majority of the island’s 141 square miles, but the sellers said he plans substantial investments. Reports say he plans to create jobs and stimulate tourism to the “Pineapple Island” once owned in the 1920s by the founder of Dole Foods Co. Ellison’s purchase was publicly announced by Hawaii Gov. Neil Abercrombie. Landowner Castle & Cooke, who owned the property Ellison bought, has filed a transfer application with the Public Utilities Commission, he says. With nearly 50 miles of coastline, just two resorts and zero traffic lights, Lanai boasts little conventional development but plenty of unspoiled charm. To put it in perspective, an unnamed source equated Ellison’s purchase of Lanai as the continental U.S. equivalent of buying Montana.
Johnny Depp is ready to pay Vanessa Paradis a massive amount as a good faith gesture and to keep their separation amicable, according to reports. Though they were never married, the actor is prepared to give his partner of 14 years an out-of-court settlement in excess of $150 million. Depp and Paradis separated this week, but are determined to keep the already difficult breakup amicable. A nine-figure check can’t hurt. As the couple weren’t married, negotiations over financial support could be complicated, according to legal experts … which is why it just won’t happen. Call it the opposite of Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian . Depp harbors no ill will toward Paradis and wants to avoid legal wrangling. Said an insider: “he will make a generous lump sum payment as a settlement.” French singer Paradis is also expected to retain ownership of a house in Plan-de-la-Tour in southern France, leaving Depp with his Hollywood Hills home. They have two children together – Lily-Rose, 13, and Jack, 10. [Photo: WENN.com]
Just in case you weren’t sure if Stacy Keibler was keeping fit now that she’s landed George Clooney, she posted this picture of her amazingly tight body on Twitter the other day. It looks like in between fancy red carpet events, private jetting off to Italy and old man groping, she works out occasionally. So hot. Apparently there were some silly rumors floating around that she was pregnant with the spawn of Clooney….. I think those rumors have just been debunked.
I’m Dani, I’m 14 years old and I’ve been a Belieber for almost 4 years. I NEVER thought I would be writing my own Bieber Experience. This last years I’ve tried every Belieber’s dream.. meet Justin. Justin was coming to Mexico for a free show. I entered lots of concerts but I didn’t win one. I wanted to meet Justin so badly. I knew it was going to be impossible but I was inspired the whole Sunday. I spent it trying to make #JustinMeetDani a TT. It didn’t work even though tons of beliebers were helping me. It was worth it in the end since Universal Music contacted me to meet Justin! It was all amazing. I was about to give up and then I had a M&G. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and I couldn’t stop crying, jumping or even shouting. On June 11 2012, I was at Universal’s office then going to his hotel. After almost 2 hours we we’re walking to his hotel. I couldn’t stop shaking, I was about to cry but didn’t want to since I was going to be all red in the picture. We were there. Carly Rae Jepsen winners entered first, we waited about another half hour until we entered. Justin was doing conferences so we couldn’t make any sounds, we waited another whole hour, we we’re about 25 Beliebers there. A woman came and told us since Justin was late, the pictures we’re going to be in groups of five. They took us to the room and we we’re going to meet Justin. We were going down and I saw Alfredo eating some cupcakes and I was like, “FREDO FREDO TEAMO,” and he told me, “teamo también shhh.” Then we were in a row and Kenny was walking in front of us. We started crying and shouting, we couldn’t control ourselves. Kenny hugged us and gave some hi-5s. Then I touched Moshe and told him “I LOVE YOU” He smiled me back and entered with Justin. Kenny opened the doors and Justin was there standing, taking some pictures. I started jumping and waving. He said, “HOLA,” and then met with the first group until it was my turn, which was one of the last ones. Scooter came out of the room, I started hugging him and he said, “Hey sweetie it’s almost your turn,” and I told him yes. Then they opened the doors, Justin looked at us and I was the first one and he said, “Hey come here for a hug!” I ran into his arms and hugged him telling him how much I loved him and how he ment to me. He told me he loved me too, he was so grateful. The others girls just waved at him, they we’re so shy and nervous. I couldn’t believe AFTER FOUR YEARS my dream came true. I started crying but then I remembered the picture and I was like oh no, wait. We got in group for the picture, I was right next to Justin and then I felt how he put his arms over me. I was shaking. They took it and then I hugged him again. I was crying, he was saying he loved me. I couldn’t believe it. He asked me my name, I answered Dani. Moshe was pulling me over him, I didn’t want to leave but I had too. I was the happiest girl ever, he waved and told me bye I love you. Then I saw Scooter so I ran and hugged him. A blonde women started recording us and Scooter was telling me, “SMILE DANI, SMILE YOU’RE GOING TO BE ON TV.” I hugged him and said to the camera, “NEVER SAY NEVER.” He told me, “Hope you can see us again on the Believe Tour.” I hugged him crying and left, everything was so perfect my almost four years, it was worth it. DREAMS DO COME TRUE, NEVER SAY NEVER.♥ -@mexicoollg Continued here: I’m Dani, I’m 14 years old and I’ve been a Belieber…
I’m Gaia, I’m 15 and I live in Milan, Italy. Before the 2nd June I saw Justin in concert just once. Now I had the chance to meet Justin that day by winning some contest. You would win to see him at a Believe party & meet and greet, or at his performance at the Arena of Verona. Francesca (one of my friends) won one contest and so she was allowed to enter the Believe Party, sam with Ilaria and her cousin, but me not. I didn’t win anything. That was the worst moment of my life, knowing that after all that I did for him, the big day arrived and I could not see him. It was like the world collapsed on me. I was encouraged by Francesca, Alessandra and my other friends who were there with me in that moment. I was SURE that, on 2nd June, I wouldn’t meet Justin. The morning of that day we went in front of the Alcatraz (the place where Justin performed). We lined up with all the others who had won, and Francesca still told me, “You will enter Gaia, I’m sure, you will meet him, we will meet him today, trust me.” I cried again, I couldn’t believe that Justin was in my city and I couldn’t meet him. We tried every way to get the pass but nothing. Few hours after, a belieber came to me and told me that she had an extra pass to enter in the party and she wanted to give me it. In that moment I was the happiest girl on the world. I thanked her so much and then after one hour we immediately went to Linate, the airport. We stayed there like for 3 hours. Then when the plane landed we meet the whole crew. Kenny, Alfredo, Ryan, Dan, Scrappy, everyone except Justin. All the girls who were with us started to scream, we took photos with them, it was fantastic. We couldn’t believe to have in front of us all the crew, all the people who are so close to Justin. At the airport I went to Scrappy and I told him, “Can you give this letter to Justin? This is the only chance that I have, please!” He accepted and hugged me. When I saw him at the hotel I asked him if he threw away the letter or what, and he took it from his pocket! When we was in front of the hotel waiting to see Justin, Marisol entered. She was the interviewer who interviewed him in London and here in Italy that day. We went to her to ask why she was there and she explained us that she had to interview him. After a few minutes, she returned in the garden where we were and she said, “Gaia, Alessandra, Ilaria come here!” We went over there and she told us that she needed 3 girls to interview Justin on the stage of Alcatraz, at the Believe Party. We were so surprised about her request and we accepted. Then she return to us and told us that she needed another 3 girls, so we choose Francesca, Arianna and Camilla. The hour of the party came very quickly, so we followed Marisol and she took us in the first line and then behind the scenes. We were so exited, the man who managed the event told us to not scream, cry or things like that but we couldn’t. Finally, after too much time we didn’t see him. He wasn’t pixel, or on a photo, that moment wasn’t a video, but that was reality. After his performances the man called us, but there was a change of program and only 3 girls could come on the stage to interview him. He was beautiful, I was enchanted, his eyes were still shimmering, he was still smiling, I really couldn’t realize that he was in front me, the boy who I never stop to love since the first moment was there, with me, that was unbelievable. When we entered on the stage, he first hugged us. That was really the moment of my whole life. The hug that I was searching for, the hug that I was waiting from a life, the special moment that I dreamed every night. That moment had become reality. He was so sweet with us, he hugged also Alessandra, Ilaria, Francesca, Camilla and Arianna. After so many fights, after so many tears, smiles, after too many times, finally my dream was happening. After the questions that we asked Justin, we went behind the scenes to make a photo with him, but only 3 of us. Camilla, Ilaria and I went in a room and took it. He was so smiling, trust to me, there aren’t enough characters to describe my emotions in that moment. I was one of the few people who organized events in Italy to be noticed by Justin. We gave our souls for him, we did our best, and that was our moment. Thank you Justin to be my strength, to be my point of reference. Trust to me if I tell you to still believe, trust to me. I’ll NEVER give up, I’ll support Justin until the end, cause he’s all my life. I miss him so much. When he hugged me, I had my world in my arms, really the best moment ever. I hope to meet him very soon, I can’t resist, that distance is very hard. Thank you Justin, for every single moment, you made my life. NEVER SAY NEVER. The rest is here: I’m Gaia, I’m 15 and I live in Milan, Italy. Before…
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