There are only about two months left to go ’til “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2” finally hits theaters and simultaneously does the following to our hearts: warm them, make them race, and then shatter them into 12 million pieces. So, naturally, we’ve been savoring every piece of propaganda little detail parachute-dropped upon us… Read more »
There are only about two months left to go ’til “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2” finally hits theaters and simultaneously does the following to our hearts: warm them, make them race, and then shatter them into 12 million pieces. So, naturally, we’ve been savoring every piece of propaganda little detail parachute-dropped upon us… Read more »
I wrote about Maitland Ward yesterday , if you consider what I do actually writing… I mean I see letters but they don’t actually mean anything…sure they are words but ultimately just nonsenese…but what I was getting at is that this Maitland is busty, she’s never really made it in Hollywood, her claim to fame was Boy Meets World a long time ago, and now she’s on some promo tour, getting invited to obscure event where the paparazzi is, and getting naked – in revealing dresses…shameless attention seeking… I don’t know if she’s trying to promote anything, maybe filming a documentary, or just bored and looking for something of substance… I just know that she’s doing this everyday, she’s on some kind of half naked mission and I would be crazy to try to stop her – because it is funny, sad, and touches me on so many levels – I wish every girl was this eager to get noticed and on the blogs…but then I guess Maitland would be nothing special…and clearly she’s pretty fucking special… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE
Jojo Levesque was someone considered Jail bait at 17, because she had a music video in an era when people still jerked off to music videos, and watched them on TV. I never understood her appeal, because she was alway thick, a lot like a little boy, and really not very memorable…and I guess the rest of the world realized that when she turned 18 and the fact that she was illegal to lust after was out of the masturbation fantasies, people came to their senses….she fell off the map – spent all her money on her black boyfriend who you know violated…got fat…and now is on her comeback tour because she’s got mouths to feed and I guess she figures if she did it once she can do it again..and I’m just posting it because you can see her bra…not like that means anything, every girl who leaves her house who still bothers with bras pretty much show them off…but I am hoping at least one of you weirdos is still in love with her, still has the posters up in your creepy masturbation lair…and this helps you go on with your pathetic life. I am a hero like that.
I’m not sure how Sam Faiers forgot to remember to wear nothing but lingerie to promote an event at a lingerie store. Not only do I mention it at pretty much every one of these things I cover, I thought that would be Rule #1 in the hot nobody playbook. But unfortunately, she’s wearing less in the posters she’s posing with. But hey, at least it’s not a total wash, thanks to the nice booty profile shots and hint of sideboob. My mom always said to look on the bright side. Enjoy. Photos: PacificCoastNews Continue reading →
I’m hugely fond of the headline accompanying this Expendables 2 “Comic-Con poster” (just what the movie needed, seriously, because surely none of the thousands of culture obsessives in San Diego will know anything about it ) on Ain’t it Cool News: “This EXPENDABLES 2 Comic-Con Poster Has Enough Booms, Badasses, Barrels To Humble Even The Most Uppity Of Geeks!!” Yes, it certainly does. You know what else it has? Hilarity. Somehow this all makes me envision Sylvester Stallone wolfing down a testosterone taco a few years past its sell-by date and then racing to the nearest Kinko’s and evacuating every last granule of his meal inside a color copier whose lid comes crashing down and short circuits and sputters and churns out a boomtastic accident likely intended for an imminent Chinatown bootleg DVD sleeve yet is just tasteless enough to qualify for Comic-Con signage. The man is good! Or at least he will be once his stomach settles. Better, anyway. [ Ain’t it Cool News ]
Come on, admit it: You are going to miss The Twilight Saga when it’s over — especially the delectably, heavily airbrushed countenances of the films’ Big Three stars, glowering out from an eternity of repackaged DVD/Blu-ray sets, Twilight fan cruises, B-action notoriety , story-driven nudity and whatever else awaits beyond the horizon. I know I am! Forever, indeed. That is a very long time. I can barely finish this post conveying the new Breaking Dawn – Part 2 character posters, it is all so wrenching. OK, I’m finished. [ via ]
The one-sheet for Battleship has proven intriguing fodder for at least a couple clever poster manipulators out there: First there was this art-house-inspired bit of genius , and today brings an assortment of other work for movies based on popular games — themselves all standing in the alien nemesis in Battleship , of course. You’ve really got to just see them. See the Monopoly sample below. Head to Screen Crush for more, and thanks to their team for killing another 60 seconds of an interminable Monday. [via Screen Crush ]
It’s really easy to be cynical about horror movie posters. Most of them are garish, Photoshop nightmares unworthy of a second look. But we really owe it to ourselves to bask in the sublime surrealism of the one-sheet for The Possession . A poster like this one, for a low-budget horror film with a decent pedigree (Sam Raimi is among the producers) that will play as late-summer counterprogramming in multiplexes around the country, comes around, oh, never. I’ll grant you that it is of questionable construction. It’s flat and nearly monochromatic, the Photoshop is sloppy in spots (especially where the wrist meets the mouth), and it feels like a detail from the poster for another Raimi film, Drag Me to Hell : Still, there’s beauty in the simplicity. Take away the title, taglines, and credit block and you instantly know this is a person-possessed movie. No weird upside-down people , no impossible-for-even-the-most-elastic-yogi posing , no one stuck to the ceiling — just a person being mauled from the inside out by a demon clawing its way out of that person’s maw. Any other image meant to illustrate “possessed” looks like unicorns and rainbows in comparison. And why not? Reality is always stranger — and scarier — than fiction, and, my God, this really happened! Somewhere, out in the world, someone is telling the story about that time a girl they knew vomited up a gnarled ghoul hand that then ripped her face off. That’s the takeaway, anyhow, when “Based on a True Story” is placed above the poster’s horrific, inspired image. It’s an audacious juxtaposition. For nearly a decade, horror movies brandishing their ripped-from-reality bonafides have hewed to relatively realistic depictions of their content. The Exorcism of Emily Rose , for example, is atmospheric and unsettling in its depiction of a girl lost in foggy desolation. Similarly, the remake of The Amityville Horror exists in a scuzzy, off-balance suburbia, but it’s one that feels relatively in-step with our world. Even the ridiculous, porny poster for The Devil Inside feels grounded in some perversion of reality. Not so for The Possession . It’s a true story spewed forth from the interior worlds of Lovecraft and Dalí. Our first instinct is to laugh at the absurdity of selling a movie using this image as “based on a true story.” But disbelief quickly gives way to something like awe. On one hand it’s a complete inversion of how to market a real-person-possessed movie. Instead of people contorted by unseen supernatural forces — that is, something we can go in believing actually happened — we’re getting a person brutally face-hugged by a tangible hellspawn, a practical and realistic impossibility that subverts the scare power of these sorts of movies. It’s not frightening, after all, if we know it can’t really happen. (Shock cuts only go so far.) On the other hand, it’s a deft commentary on these kinds of films. We all know they’re ridiculous. But you’d never know it to look at their posters. From the images to the copy, they’re humorless voids of self-righteousness, like an ad for a sanctimonious documentary or a foreign art-house film. Except these are ads for movies about a kid puking, what, smoke? A scarf? Oil? Liquid gold? Or being suspended upside down, against one’s control . And on and on. The Possession one-sheet, in the grand Raimi tradition, is self-aware and calls attention to how ridiculous it all is while simultaneously giving us a good, solid modern horror movie image. I’d be surprised if the image on this poster is ever brought to life in The Possession (but here’s hoping!), and time will tell how grossly it misrepresents the tone and content of the film. But all that seems beside the point when you have a poster of such sly wit and artistry. PREVIOUSLY IN ONE-SHEET WONDER The Simple, Fan-Driven Pleasures of Moonrise Kingdom ‘s First Poster Dante A. Ciampaglia is a writer, editor and photographer in New York. You can find him on Twitter , Tumblr , and, occasionally, his blog .
It’s really easy to be cynical about horror movie posters. Most of them are garish, Photoshop nightmares unworthy of a second look. But we really owe it to ourselves to bask in the sublime surrealism of the one-sheet for The Possession . A poster like this one, for a low-budget horror film with a decent pedigree (Sam Raimi is among the producers) that will play as late-summer counterprogramming in multiplexes around the country, comes around, oh, never. I’ll grant you that it is of questionable construction. It’s flat and nearly monochromatic, the Photoshop is sloppy in spots (especially where the wrist meets the mouth), and it feels like a detail from the poster for another Raimi film, Drag Me to Hell : Still, there’s beauty in the simplicity. Take away the title, taglines, and credit block and you instantly know this is a person-possessed movie. No weird upside-down people , no impossible-for-even-the-most-elastic-yogi posing , no one stuck to the ceiling — just a person being mauled from the inside out by a demon clawing its way out of that person’s maw. Any other image meant to illustrate “possessed” looks like unicorns and rainbows in comparison. And why not? Reality is always stranger — and scarier — than fiction, and, my God, this really happened! Somewhere, out in the world, someone is telling the story about that time a girl they knew vomited up a gnarled ghoul hand that then ripped her face off. That’s the takeaway, anyhow, when “Based on a True Story” is placed above the poster’s horrific, inspired image. It’s an audacious juxtaposition. For nearly a decade, horror movies brandishing their ripped-from-reality bonafides have hewed to relatively realistic depictions of their content. The Exorcism of Emily Rose , for example, is atmospheric and unsettling in its depiction of a girl lost in foggy desolation. Similarly, the remake of The Amityville Horror exists in a scuzzy, off-balance suburbia, but it’s one that feels relatively in-step with our world. Even the ridiculous, porny poster for The Devil Inside feels grounded in some perversion of reality. Not so for The Possession . It’s a true story spewed forth from the interior worlds of Lovecraft and Dalí. Our first instinct is to laugh at the absurdity of selling a movie using this image as “based on a true story.” But disbelief quickly gives way to something like awe. On one hand it’s a complete inversion of how to market a real-person-possessed movie. Instead of people contorted by unseen supernatural forces — that is, something we can go in believing actually happened — we’re getting a person brutally face-hugged by a tangible hellspawn, a practical and realistic impossibility that subverts the scare power of these sorts of movies. It’s not frightening, after all, if we know it can’t really happen. (Shock cuts only go so far.) On the other hand, it’s a deft commentary on these kinds of films. We all know they’re ridiculous. But you’d never know it to look at their posters. From the images to the copy, they’re humorless voids of self-righteousness, like an ad for a sanctimonious documentary or a foreign art-house film. Except these are ads for movies about a kid puking, what, smoke? A scarf? Oil? Liquid gold? Or being suspended upside down, against one’s control . And on and on. The Possession one-sheet, in the grand Raimi tradition, is self-aware and calls attention to how ridiculous it all is while simultaneously giving us a good, solid modern horror movie image. I’d be surprised if the image on this poster is ever brought to life in The Possession (but here’s hoping!), and time will tell how grossly it misrepresents the tone and content of the film. But all that seems beside the point when you have a poster of such sly wit and artistry. PREVIOUSLY IN ONE-SHEET WONDER The Simple, Fan-Driven Pleasures of Moonrise Kingdom ‘s First Poster Dante A. Ciampaglia is a writer, editor and photographer in New York. You can find him on Twitter , Tumblr , and, occasionally, his blog .