Tag Archives: protect-twitter

Ian Somerhalder Flips Out: I Was GROCERY-SHAMED!

We prefer Ian Somerhalder’s sweet tributes to his wife to watching him flip out and make bizarre claims. This is disappointing. He took to Instagram to post a lengthy rant after he claims that he was grocery-shamed for buying vegetables. Ian doesn’t hold back, and lays into everything from prepackaged foods to medicine itself, calling it all poison . Ian Somerhalder shared a photo of him with a tremendous amount of vegetables alongside a lengthy rant. “I hope I don’t come off as an ass…” Ian begins his post. As you are about to see, he unfortunately does. “A woman just stopped me in the grocery store,” Ian claims. “And told me that she had never seen a basket like mine.” Okay, first of all, it really sounds like she was hitting on him, but he interpreted her meaning as being about his literal grocery basket. “I told her that I have never NOT seen this type of basket in my grocery-shopping behavior,” Ian writes. “A few others chimed in saying that it was a very strange sight!” he says. “WTF? A strange sight?” It’s not weird that it’s a strange sight. It’s weird that people had the audacity to comment. “I’m in a grocery store,” Ian says. “It’s food. It got me thinking and really fired up…” “I hear in the news constantly … healthcare costs, drug companies, and doctors and what rising costs do to our society, our lives and our economy,” he says. “I know our system isn’t great,” he acknowledges. This is where his okay post gets really, really bad. “Yet, the public poisons itself daily with bad food choices,” he says. Yeah — he’s one of those people who seems to think that lifestyle choices like food and exercise are behind most illnesses. They are not. “Food is medicine and medicine is food,” he asserts. “It’s a fact.” No? They’re both chemicals that can impact your body, but they are not interchangeable. “If we want to see our healthcare system changed, be a healthier society,” he instructs. “And it will.” Nope. Cancer will still exist no matter how many plants people force themselves to eat. “How does that sound? Logical right?” he asks. “I don’t mean to sound like a dick- or preachy but this is nuts:” “How is it, that grown professional people in a major American city have never seen a grocery basket full of normal & healthy foods?” he asks. Ian says that his food choices are those “that just all happen to be green or not processed.” The answer is that most people buy a little from each department instead of spending their entire shopping trip among the greens. “We’re so far down the rabbit hole of packaged and ‘convenient’ foods that our society is paying the price,” he claims. “And so is our future.” “No one in our government is helping us be healthier through education,” he writes. This is when Ian takes things a step further … and thinks that the existence of convenient food isn’t out of market demand, but because of a conspiracy. “Why would they?” Ian asks. “Sick people are GREAT for business…” “It’s pretty simple:If you want to look well, feel well and BE well- just eat well,” he writes. Can’t wait to give that helpful advice to folks with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome! “Obviously excersise as well,” Ian adds. “As much as you can.Everything else will start to fall into place.” And before people point out that he’s rich and can afford expensive foods and the time to prepare them, he makes a note. “My mom raised me on no money & mostly as a single parent,” Ian writes. “Yet, she still ate well & exercised and it shaped my life.” “We make excuses why we can’t find the time to take care of ourselves and we end up past the point of no return… Why is that?” he asks. He continues: “How is it that we can’t see that:Happy and healthy people make a happy and healthy world.” “It’s hard to see that through a fog of prescription drugs, energy drinks, & strong sleep aids,” he claims. Energy drinks aren’t great for you, but prescription drugs save lives every day. And not everybody can fall asleep easily, dude. “It’s hard I know,” he says condescendingly. “But its time to change.” “You wouldn’t put the wrong gas in your car,” he asserts. “So why would you put wrong food in your body?” Of all of the possible responses to that line, pehraps the best would be questioning why he gets to decide what’s wrong for someone else’s body. “We MUST take responsibility for what we put into our bodies starting now,” Ian claims. “We can do it.Ok. I’ll stop. Thanks” First of all, some doubt the credulity of his alleged encounter at the grocery store. Personally, I believe that someone commented. His basket looks like he visited a plant nursery, not a grocery store, and some people are rude enough to comment. Obviously, no one should be shamed, whether they’re buying a dozen frozen pizzas or what looks to be a miniature forest. Unfortunately, instead of making his post about his choices being his business, he made it about them being the right choices. And Ian thinks that everyone else should do exactly what he does. He compares prescription medications to poison and suggests that everyone will be healthy if they just eat leafy greens. In addition to pseudo-science, he ultimately ends up being the grocery-shamer, implying that people who eat convenient foods are destroying themselves and the world. His food is his business. Everyone else’s food is theirs. The same goes with their health and what medicines they take. Being ridiculously handsome isn’t an excuse to be a huge jerk to people.

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Ian Somerhalder Flips Out: I Was GROCERY-SHAMED!

Azealia Banks Is Using Magic Beard Hair to Protect Twitter’s CEO From ISIS. Seriously.

This morning, our large adult president, Donald Trump, took to Twitter to share the news that ISIS has been defeated in Syria. This is obviously BS, as the terrorist group claimed credit for an attack in Raqqa just ten minutes before Trump’s announcement, but still — the optimistic assessment must have come as welcome news to one of the internet’s most prominent bearded weirdos. In case you’re unfamiliar, Twitter founder and CEO Jack Dorsey is what would happen if someone took Mark Zuckerberg’s obliviousness to Nazis and mashed it together with Russell Brand’s performative spirituality. As you can see from his attire, at all times Dorsey is prepared to do DMT with Joe Rogan at a moment’s notice. As far as we know, that consciousness-elevating bro-down has yet to transpire, but Dorsey has spent a lot of time jawing about chakras and sh-t with another one of social media’s favorite weirdos. Even if you’re not familiar with Azealia Banks’ music, you’re probably aware of some of her bizarre celebrity feuds. Most recently, Banks attacked Elon Musk in a bizarre social media tirade, claiming that she witness the Tesla CEO making important business decisions while tripping on acid. At the time, a lot of media outlets cast doubts on Banks’ claims, but perhaps we should give her the benefit of the doubt — as eccentric CEOs really seem to let their guard down around the rapper. Before she was booted off Twitter in 2016, Banks tweeted that Dorsey has “sent me his hair in an envelope because I was supposed to make him an amulet for protection.” On that occasion as well, the claim was widely dismissed, but now — in the Christmas miracle we never knew we needed —  it’s been confirmed that Dorsey asked Banks to use her witchcraft  to protect him from ISIS: “A source who worked with him told me Dorsey had sent a rapper his beard shavings to make him an amulet that would protect him from evildoers,” Vanity Fair reporter Nicky Bilton wrote in a recent profile of Dorsey. Proving that American journalism is alive, well, and thriving in these difficult times, Spin magazine picked up the ball and ran with it, confirming that the rapper in question was indeed Banks: “At the time, Banks said Dorsey promised to promote her mixtape Slay-Z in exchange for her promoting his cash transfer app Square and her crafting him a magical object that might protect him from ISIS, which had threatened Dorsey in a video earlier that year,” SPIN wrote. “Dorsey never tweeted about the project and presumably never received the amulet.” In other words, Dorsey sought protection from ISIS, didn’t get it, and pissed off a famously short-tempered witch in the process. Not only that, dude shaved his beard for nothing! Without outlandish facial hair, how are people supposed to know he’s a rich a-hole who meditates, and not just some regular rich a-hole?! View Slideshow: Azealia Banks and Her Beefs: Who’s She Shading Now?

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Azealia Banks Is Using Magic Beard Hair to Protect Twitter’s CEO From ISIS. Seriously.