Tag Archives: psych

Study Shows That Relationships Are Stronger When Sex Happens Later Rather Than Sooner

Watch out all you loose and hot-pantied heffahs out there: Delaying sex makes for a more satisfying and stable relationship later on, new research finds. Couples who had sex the earliest — such as after the first date or within the first month of dating — had the worst relationship outcomes. “What seems to happen is that if couples become sexual too early, this very rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best for them in the long-run,” study researcher Dean Busby, of Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life, told LiveScience. Busby and his colleagues published their work Dec. 28 in the Journal of Family Psychology. The intricate nature of sex Past research on sex and its link to relationship quality has revealed two different paradigms. In one, sex is considered essential to a developing relationship since it allows partners to assess their sexual compatibility. Following this line of thinking, couples who marry before testing out their sexual chemistry are at risk of marital distress and failure later on. The opposing view posits couples who delay or abstain from sexual intimacy during the early part of their relationships allow communication and other social processes to become the foundation of their attraction to each other. Essentially, early sex could be detrimental to a relationship, skewing it away from communication, commitment and the ability to handle adversity, this thinking suggests. And past studies have shown the sex-relationship link is a complex one. For instance, a 2004 study of nearly 300 college students in dating relationships showed that when couples were highly committed, sex was more likely to be seen as a positive turning point in the relationship, increasing understanding, commitment, trust and a sense of security. However, when commitment and emotional expressions were low, the initiation of sex was significantly more likely seen as a negative event, evoking regret, uncertainty, discomfort, and prompting apologies. Sex comes early nowadays In the new study, Busby and his colleagues looked specifically at timing of sexual relations. They recruited 2,035 heterosexual individuals who had an average age of 36 and were in their first marriages. Participants reported when they first had sexual relations with their current spouse; they also answered communication questions, which evaluated how well they could express empathy and understanding toward their partners, how well they could send clear messages to their partners, and other questions. [10 Things Every Woman Should Know About a Man’s Brain] Other items on the questionnaire focused on relationship satisfaction and stability, with the latter gauged by three questions: how often they thought their relationship was in trouble; how often they thought of ending the relationship; and how often they had broken up and gotten back together. Individuals were categorized as either having: * Early sex (before dating or less than one month after they started dating). * Late sex (between one month and two years of dating). * And those who waited until after they married. Relationships fared better and better the longer a person waited to have sex, up until marriage, with those hitting the sack before a month showing the worst outcomes. Compared with those in the early sex group, those who waited until marriage: * Rated relationship stability as 22 percent higher * Rated relationship satisfaction as 20 percent higher * Rated sexual quality as 15 percent better * Rated communication as 12 percent better “Curiously, almost 40 percent of couples are essentially sexual within the first or second time they go out, but we suspect that if you asked these same couples at this early stage of their relationship – ‘Do you trust this person to watch your pet for a weekend many could not answer this in the affirmative’ – meaning they are more comfortable letting people into their bodies than they are with them watching their cat,” Busby said. He added that those couples who wait to be sexual have time to figure out how trustworthy their partner is, how well they communicate, and whether they share the same values in life “before the powerful sexual bonding short-circuits their decision-making abilities.” Right now, the team is repeating the study on a larger sample in a longitudinal design – in which participants are followed over time. “We are particularly curious about people who report wanting to wait to be sexual but then they don’t follow through on their beliefs, this may be a unique group with unique outcomes,” Busby said. Source

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Study Shows That Relationships Are Stronger When Sex Happens Later Rather Than Sooner

Great Feuds of 2010: Who Won, Who Lost, and Who Will Commit Harakiri [Video]

It was the year Christina Aguilera attacked Lady Gaga and Whoopi Goldberg stormed off The View . Conan O’Brien defied his boss and world leaders threatened to kill a psychic octopus. A guide to the bloodiest feuds of 2010. More

Bret Michaels Says Engagement ‘Feels Awesome’

‘It may be the longest engagement in history, but my intentions are good,’ Poison frontman jokes. By Jocelyn Vena Bret Michaels Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage It’s been quite a year for Bret Michaels. He worked with Miley Cyrus twice, suffered a serious subarachnoid hemorrhage , won “Celebrity Apprentice” and denied having an affair with Miley’s mom, Tish . Now he’s ended the year on a high note, asking his longtime girlfriend, Kristi Gibson, to marry him . “They swore I was the guy who would never,” he told People.com about finally deciding to put a ring on the finger of his girlfriend of nearly two decades. “And it feels awesome.” The proposal, which aired on Monday night’s finale of his show, “Bret Michaels: Life as I Know It,” wasn’t easy to time, according to the Poison rocker, who noted that some people thought it might happen at the couple’s anniversary dinner. “I wasn’t ready there because I felt really strange,” he explained. “It would’ve been like, I’m in the middle of proposing and oh, by the way, there’s a Cobb salad coming.” Michaels admits that while his proposal didn’t end up being as epic as he imagined it would be, it worked for them. “In my mind, it wasn’t supposed to happen like that — I wanted it to be a little more like the movies, where the white horse gallops up and all that stuff. But when Kristi said, ‘I don’t need this ring, I don’t need the piece of paper, I love you no matter what,’ she took the pressure off,” he said. “She used reverse psychology on me and it worked!” Instead of getting Gibson a new piece of bling, the couple will update her “friendship ring with mega benefits.” He jokingly added, “It may be the longest engagement in history, but my intentions are good.” Related Photos Bret Michaels’ Career In Photos Related Artists Bret Michaels

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Bret Michaels Says Engagement ‘Feels Awesome’

VIDEO: New, Painful Short from Oscar-Nominated Don Hertzfeldt Tackles Dental Surgery

If you have a high tolerance for stick-figure violence, Wisdom Teeth is today’s must-watch video. The latest short from Oscar-Nominated animator Don Hertzfeldt (of Rejected fame) premiered at Sundance and is now part of a Showtime program called Short Stories . Despite Hertzfeldt’s excellent track record, I’ll admit I had a tough time getting psyched to watch even a slapstick cartoon about dental surgery because well, sometimes the dentist really is that scary. But rest assured, the animator’s unmatched knack for comic absurdity makes it completely worthwhile and the ridiculous ending will have you in…stitches. I’m sorry.

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VIDEO: New, Painful Short from Oscar-Nominated Don Hertzfeldt Tackles Dental Surgery

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: The Psychic, the Cigarette, and the Limousine [Video]

Rarely does a Real Housewives come with a building, terrible tension the way this one did. We knew everything was eventually going to teeter over into catastrophe, but not being sure just which moment would spark the fire, we waited… More

Army Docs: Guantanamo Interrogators Wanted to Inflict ‘More Physical Pain’ [War On Terror]

It’s not exactly news that U.S. personnel wantonly tortured detainees at Guantanamo Bay , but a newly released Army document shows an Army psychologist discussing the torture in unusually stark terms: “The only way to extract information was more physical pain.” More

Army Docs: Guantanamo Interrogators Wanted to Inflict ‘More Physical Pain’ [War On Terror]

It’s not exactly news that U.S. personnel wantonly tortured detainees at Guantanamo Bay , but a newly released Army document shows an Army psychologist discussing the torture in unusually stark terms: “The only way to extract information was more physical pain.” More

Train Say Grammy Snub ‘Felt Like A Practical Joke’

Band performed at nominations concert before massive hit ‘Hey, Soul Sister’ was largely shut out by Grammys. By James Montgomery Train Photo: MTV News Even if you are the most casual of music fans, there’s still a pretty good chance you know (and probably even own) Train’s “Hey, Soul Sister,” the most omnipresent (and best-selling) song of 2010. No matter where you turned, it truly seemed like the song was there … except, strangely enough, the Grammys. Earlier this month, when nominations for the 2011 Grammy Awards were announced, “Hey, Soul Sister” was oddly absent. It failed to score a nod for either Record or Song of the Year — both of which seemed mortal locks, given the single’s general inescapability — and ended up with just one nomination: for Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals. And that was for a live version of the song. The fact that Grammy voters snubbed “Soul Sister” was even more shocking considering that Train were invited to perform at the annual Grammy Nominations Concert , a move that usually guarantees a plumb nod or two. And if you were surprised that Train left the telecast (largely) empty-handed, well, you weren’t the only one. “You know, it was a strange night for us, to be real honest with you,” Train frontman Pat Monahan told MTV News. “Playing the nominations show, being seated in the front to watch all the performances, and then to not be nominated for any of them during that show. I don’t really know what the take is, to be real honest. It kind of felt like a practical joke at the time. “I mean, a guy even came around, he was like, ‘You guys are going to be really happy tonight,’ ” drummer Scott Underwood added. “And we were like, ‘Oh, really? OK, cool!’ ” Monahan admitted that part of the reason “Soul Sister” was shut out of the Grammy’s big categories was because of a technicality: The song was released digitally in August 2009 — within the eligibility window for the 2010 awards — but added that the “live” version that picked up a nom probably should’ve sufficed for consideration, given the song’s success this year. “I’ll just speak for myself. During the ceremony, my feelings were hurt,” Monahan admitted. “I felt like we were being set up for something kinda big and it didn’t go down,” he said. “And I was like, ‘Wow, that was weird,’ because if I hadn’t been here, I’d just be psyched that we’re nominated, instead of disappointed that we weren’t nominated for the big several [awards]. But, you know, it’s cool to be nominated at the same time, so I’m pretty appreciative. It was just that one moment was a little bit hurt feelings.” And to that end, Monahan said he’s already put the Grammy incident behind him. In fact, he’s even learned a lesson from the whole thing. “It’s a great reminder that that’s not what we’re here for. Really what we’re here for — and we keep proving it over and over again — is, we’re here because there’s some Train fans out there, and somehow they keep growing instead of shrinking,” he said. “And there’s some music that we’re supposed to provide people to maybe make their lives a little bit better and, you know, that’s really why we’re here. All the rest is just whatever, as the song ‘If It’s Love’ says.” What do you think of Train’s Grammy experience? Were they wrongly overlooked? Sound off in the comments! Related Artists Train

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Train Say Grammy Snub ‘Felt Like A Practical Joke’

There He Goes, There He Goes, There He Goes, There He Goes… | James Moody Has Died

Just “opened” The New York Times to discover that a real favorite of mine, James Moody, has died. Here's the initial article….. December 10, 2010 James Moody, Jazz Saxophonist, Dies at 85 By PETER KEEPNEWS James Moody, a jazz saxophonist and flutist celebrated for his virtuosity, his versatility and his onstage ebullience, died on Thursday in San Diego. He was 85. His death, at a hospice, was confirmed by his wife, Linda. Mr. Moody lived in San Diego. Last month, Mr. Moody disclosed that he had pancreatic cancer and had decided against receiving chemotherapy or radiation treatment. Mr. Moody, who began his career with the trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie shortly after World War II and maintained it well into the 21st century, developed distinctive and equally fluent styles on both tenor and alto saxophone, a relatively rare accomplishment in jazz. He also played soprano saxophone, and in the mid-1950s he became one of the first significant jazz flutists, impressing the critics if not himself. “I’m not a flute player,” he told one interviewer. “I’m a flute holder.” The self-effacing humor of that comment was characteristic of Mr. Moody, who took his music more seriously than he took himself. Musicians admired him for his dexterity, his unbridled imagination and his devotion to his craft, as did critics; reviewing a performance in 1980, Gary Giddins of The Village Voice praised Mr. Moody’s “unqualified directness of expression” and said his improvisations at their best were “mini-epics in which impassioned oracles, comic relief, suspense and song vie for chorus time.” But audiences were equally taken by his ability to entertain. Defying the stereotype of the modern jazz musician as austere and humorless (and following the example of Gillespie, whom he considered his musical mentor and with whom he worked on and off for almost half a century), Mr. Moody told silly jokes, peppered his repertory with unlikely numbers like “Beer Barrel Polka” and the theme from “The Flintstones,” and often sang. His singing voice was unpolished but enthusiastic — and very distinctive, partly because he spoke and sang with a noticeable lisp, a result of having been born partly deaf. The song he sang most often had a memorable name and an unusual history. Based on the harmonic structure of “I’m in the Mood for Love,” it began life as an instrumental when Mr. Moody recorded it in Stockholm in 1949, improvising an entirely new melody on a borrowed alto saxophone. Released as “I’m in the Mood for Love” (and credited to that song’s writers) even though his rendition bore only the faintest resemblance to the original tune, it was a modest hit for Mr. Moody in 1951. It became a much bigger hit shortly afterward when the singer Eddie Jefferson wrote lyrics to Mr. Moody’s improvisation and another singer, King Pleasure, recorded it as “Moody’s Mood for Love.” “Moody’s Mood for Love” (which begins with the memorable lyric “There I go, there I go, there I go, there I go …”) became a jazz and pop standard, recorded by Aretha Franklin, George Benson, Van Morrison, Amy Winehouse and others. And it was a staple of Mr. Moody’s concert and nightclub performances as sung by Mr. Jefferson, who was a member of his band for many years. Mr. Jefferson was shot to death in 1979; when Mr. Moody, who was in the middle of a long hiatus from jazz at the time, resumed his career a few years later, he began singing the song himself. He never stopped. James Moody — he was always Moody, never James, Jim or Jimmy, to his friends and colleagues — was born in Savannah, Ga., on March 26, 1925, to James and Ruby Moody, and raised in Newark. Despite being hard of hearing, he gravitated toward music and began playing alto saxophone at 16, later switching to tenor. He played with an all-black Army Air Forces band during World War II. After being discharged in 1946, he auditioned for Gillespie, who led one of the first big bands to play the complex and challenging new form of jazz known as bebop. He failed that audition but passed a second one a few months later, and soon captured the attention of the jazz world with a brief but fiery solo on the band’s recording of the Gillespie composition “Emanon.” Mr. Moody’s career was twice interrupted by alcoholism. The first time, in 1948, he moved to Paris to live with an uncle while he recovered. He returned to the United States in 1951 to capitalize on the success of “I’m in the Mood for Love,” forming a seven-piece band that mixed elements of modern jazz with rhythm and blues. After a fire at a Philadelphia nightclub destroyed the band’s equipment, uniforms and sheet music in 1958, he began drinking again and checked himself into the Overbrook psychiatric hospital in Cedar Grove, N.J. After a stay of several months, he celebrated his recovery by writing and recording the uptempo blues “Last Train From Overbrook,” which became one of his best-known compositions. In 1963 he reunited with Gillespie, joining his popular quintet. He was featured as both a soloist and the straight man for Gillespie’s between-songs banter, sharpening his musical and comedic skills at the same time. He left Gillespie in 1969 to try his luck as a bandleader again but met with limited success; four years later he left jazz entirely to work in Las Vegas hotel orchestras. “The reason I went to Las Vegas,” he told Saxophone Journal in 1998, “was because I was married and had a daughter and I wanted to grow up with my kid. I was married before and I didn’t grow up with the kids. So I said, ‘I’m going to really be a father.’ I did much better with this one because at least I stayed until my daughter was 12 years old. And that’s why I worked Vegas, because I could stay in one spot.” After seven years of pit-band anonymity, providing accompaniment for everyone from Milton Berle to Ike and Tina Turner to Liberace, Mr. Moody divorced his wife, Margena, and returned to the East Coast to resume his jazz career. His final three decades were productive, with frequent touring and recording (as the leader of his own small group and, on occasion, as a sideman with Gillespie, who died in 1993) and even a brief foray into acting, with a bit part in the 1997 Clint Eastwood film “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil,” set in Mr. Moody’s birthplace, Savannah. The National Endowment for the Arts named him a Jazz Master in 1998. His last album, “Moody 4B,” was recorded in 2008 and released this year on the IPO label; it earned a Grammy nomination this month. Mr. Moody, who was divorced twice, is survived by his wife of 21 years, the former Linda Peterson McGowan; three sons, Patrick, Regan and Danny McGowan; a daughter, Michelle Moody Bagdanove; a brother, Louis Watters; four grandchildren; and one great-grandson. For all his accomplishments, Mr. Moody always saw his musical education as a work in progress. “I’ve always wanted to be around people who know more than me,” he told The Hartford Courant in 2006, “because that way I keep learning.” added by: EthicalVegan

Pot Has Benefits for Diabetic Hearts

The main nonpsychoactive ingredient of cannabis reduces cellular signs of cardiac stress and dysfunction, according to preclinical results appearing in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology. http://www.jackherer.com/archives/pot-has-benefits-for-diabetic-hearts/ added by: JackHerer