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Kris Humphries would like you to know two important things about him: 1. He’s still alive. 2. He was totally and completely in love with Kim Kardashian. So the former power forward stated for The Players Tribune record in a surprising essay he penned this week. In a lengthy piece titled “I Never Wanted to Be That Guy,” Humphries opens up about his athletic past, his basketball career, his poor attitude over the years — and, yes, of course, his very brief marriage to Ray J’s former sex tape partner. (For those somehow unaware, Humphries and Kardashian were married for 72 days  back in 2011. Yes, 72 days. Due to the hilariously short length of this union, most observers have assumed that the relationship was a complete farce. They’ve assumed it was a mere PR stunt meant to bring the couple attention and money before they went their separate ways. But Humphries insists, all this time later, that there was nothing phony about the romance at all. “I met a girl who happened to be really famous, and I got married, and.…. Damn,” writes Kris in this article, adding that he “should have known what I was getting into” with Kardashian, and yet: “I was definitely naive about how much my life was going to change. But the one thing that really bothers me is whenever people say that my marriage was fake.” There’s plenty about the Kardashian universe that is not “entirely real,” explains Humphries, who should know because he appeared on plenty of Keeping Up with the Kardashians episodes. But his feelings for Kim? The vows they exchanged? His hopes and dreams for their future? “Our actual relationship was 100% real,” he emphasizes here, expounding as follows: “When it was clear that it wasn’t working … what can I say? It sucked. “It’s never easy to go through the embarrassment of something like that — with your friends, with your family…. But when it plays out so publicly, in front of the world, it’s a whole other level. It was brutal.” Kris and Kim were all over the tabloids back then, with accusations of infidelity leveled against both parties and ugly rumors spreading about the relationship across the Internet. Continues Humphries: “I didn’t know how to handle it, because I never thought I was going to be famous in that way. “I remember having this moment when I was getting booed so hard in Philly, and I thought to myself, “Why exactly are they booing me, though? Is it just because I’m That Guy from TV? “Do they think I was trying to be famous? Is it because they think I disrespected the game of basketball?” Humphries played in 800 career games and averaged 6.7 points and 5.4 rebounds. He was a perfectly solid rotation player who played for eight teams. The Minnesota native exceled in college and only ever wanted “to be known for basketball,” he writes in this piece. But that hasn’t been the case for almost a decade now. “There was about a year where I was in a dark place,” he says of the divorce proceedings. “I didn’t want to leave my home. You feel like … I don’t know … the whole world hates you, but they don’t even know why. They don’t even know you at all. They just recognize your face, and they’re on you.” Humphries would even lie and tell strangers on the street that he was someone else when they approached him. It was really tough for awhile. “I didn’t want to be Kris Humphries,” he says, adding: “It’s the craziest feeling in the world, not wanting to be yourself. And I didn’t even want to say anything to defend myself, because it felt like I couldn’t win. You can’t go up against the tabloids. You can’t go up against that machine. There’s no point. “And even if I played that game, I felt like it would be disrespecting the game of basketball.” As for whether he’d ever get back together with Kim, who is married to Kanye West and who has three children? Humphries has already answered that question. And we’re sorry to break it to you, Kim .

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Kris Humphries Swears His Marriage to Kim Kardashian Was Real