Tag Archives: Sarah Palin

Happy Birthday, Taylor Lautner!

A former Vice Presidential candidate and current money-hungry celebrity is 46 today (Sarah Palin). Arguably America’s most beloved actresses also celebrates a birthday (Jennifer Aniston). But one milestone stands above all else on February 11, 2010: Taylor Lautner turns 18! Women around the globe know what this means, as the date has likely been circled on their calendars for months: They can now think dirty, legal thoughts about the Twilight Saga stud muffin. Of course, Lautner himself doesn’t seem that impressed with the occasion. Asked about his plans for it, Taylor said: “I’ll spend time with family and friends… I don’t like to do anything huge, but it is 18, so, it’s kind of a big one I guess.” Isn’t that humility a major reason why so many fans are drawn to this rising star? That and his ridiculous six-pack, of course. Lautner will also celebrate the big 1-8 by starring in Valentine’s Day , opposite former fling Taylor Swift, which opens this weekend. Will you go see it 12 times ? In honor of this quasi national holiday, we’ve posted a slew of Taylor Lautner pictures below. Go ahead and ogle, ladies. The police can’t do anything about it now…

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Happy Birthday, Taylor Lautner!

Happy Birthday, Sarah Palin!

As celebrity birthdays go, this one is particularly special to us. You betcha, Sarah Palin turns 46 today! Hopefully she remembered to write a note on her hand ! Since bursting onto the scene in 2008, Sarah has been a lightning rod, becoming one of the most popular and unpopular figures in politics simultaneously. That’s a tough feat, and despite her resignation as Governor of Alaska last year, we don’t imagine we’ve seen the last from her on a major political stage. Some people want her to run for President. Others want her to run away somewhere – anywhere – and never come back. Either way, she gets people talking! Here’s a little birthday tribute of Sarah Palin pictures . Click to enlarge! Should Sarah Palin run for President?

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Happy Birthday, Sarah Palin!

Robert Gibbs Has a Comedy Problem

Today, Politico published a hard-hitting report: ” Press Room Laughter Dies Down .” No one is laughing any more at Robert Gibbs! But is it because of a change in “tone,” or because Robert Gibbs is the least funny person in D.C.? It’s the second one. Politico has so many reporters milling around their newsroom watching C-Span that they threw three on the task of sifting through White House press briefings and totaling up the number of times reporters laughed at Robert Gibbs’ press conferences: In the first six months, there was an average of 179 laughs per month—six laughs per day! And so Gibbs became “the funny press secretary”. How did Robert Gibbs get more laughs than Bush’s last two press secretaries plus all post- Happy Gilmore Adam Sandler films combined? Perusing Gibbs’ cringe-y comedic output suggests it was the instictive laughter of relief—a bunch of reporters surprised and delighted to find they had emerged from the class 5 hurricane of the Bush era relatively unscathed. God knows we also wandered the streets for months after the election, deliriously cackling at bums and trees. Ha ha! We made it! But now that everything has settled in, the press corps is able to see Gibbs for the hack that he is: In its second six months, The Robert Gibbs Show generated just 89 laughs/month. (For comparison, a “top stand-up comedy set” gets ” a minimum of 4-6 laughs per minutes .”) Gibbs’ crack wit was on display most recently with his dig at Sarah Palin’s handwritten notes : What could have been a decent bit was made unwatchable by Gibbs’ hokey delivery. Look at me, guys—I’m making a funny! Sarah Palin’s own hand-gate gag— conspicuously writing “Hi Mom” on her hand and waving it around at cameras—was way funnier. Palin’s was a pretty smart, underhanded jab that turned the media back on itself, where Gates’ was a clownish jape meant to please the reporters that are his only reason for existence. Some clowns are funny—think, Charlie Chaplin—but most are sad. A clown is sad because he is so desperate for laughs that he smears an artificial smile on his face; he is always the first to laugh at his own jokes. And so is Gibbs, as evidenced by this truly funny Politico mash-up , “Gibbs Giggles”: A key rule of comedy is: Never laugh at your own jokes. But it often seems Gibbs is attempting only to amuse himself. Like this aborted joke about the “drawing lines in the sand” cliche. It that starts in Gibbs’ own addled brain and ends up bombing with more force than a GBU-28 Bunker Buster missile striking a known Al Qaeda target: What’s sad about this is that the Q & A format of a White House presser is structured perfectly for jokes: Gibbs has a couple dozen straight-men lobbing set-ups at him for an hour. All he needs to do is knock ’em down. The missed opportunities! Like this exchange: REPORTER: Chris Wallace called you the biggest bunch of crybabies I’ve seen in Washington… what’s your reaction? GIBBS: Well… I haven’t cried yet! (LAUGHTER) Here’s what he should have said: Wallace must have been talking about Sasha. Talk about Princess and the Pea. Can’t even give her a little ribbing without her running to Michelle, all: ‘Wah wah, Gibbs called me ‘Little Hitler’ again.” Somebody book that girl on O’Reilly so he can scream in her face for forty minutes. Jesus. Maybe you don’t care about the fact that Robert Gibbs makes Jay Leno look like Mitch Hedberg. But think about this: Gibbs’ words are going down in history. Literally! Some of his words will end up in a history book, probably! And if Gibbs is going to make jokes at press conferences—which we are totally in favor of, by the way—they should be held to the same standard as any of his other utterances. Otherwise, this incredible, real life exchange from a press conference last month will be how our children remember our first black president: REPORTER: Robert, I wanted to go back to the broader message of the Massachusetts election. The tone of your comments yesterday seemed to suggest that you were absorbing the message from that and that there was anger and frustration. But does that mean that there’s any kind of regrouping going on, any kind of change in the agenda, or is there a feeling that the agenda is perfectly fine as it is but it’s just a matter of communicating it better? MR. GIBBS: No, look, this isn’t a “Cool Hand Luke” problem, right? It took a while. Mark, come on, help me out a little bit, right — “failure to communicate.” REPORTER: I had no idea what that meant.

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Robert Gibbs Has a Comedy Problem

Levi Johnston: My Future is Bleak

Filed under: Celebrity Justice Levi Johnston has just fired back at his baby mama, Bristol Palin, and unlike grandma Sarah Palin, Levi didn’t need to write crib notes on his hand.Levi is responding to Bristol’s demand for $1,750 a month in child support. In his opposing legal … Permalink

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Levi Johnston: My Future is Bleak

Levi Johnston: Coming to Desperate Housewives?

Levi Johnston is reportedly set to guest star on Desperate Housewives. Yes, we’re serious. This rumor hasn’t been confirmed, but we didn’t make it up, either. Sources say the almost-son-in-law of Sarah Palin has landed a multiple-episode guest role on the long-running ABC drama. The reason why? A certain Cherry. No, not the fact that he popped the cherry of Bristol Palin . Desperate Housewives creator March Cherry met Levi at the 2008 Republican National Convention. A member of the Log Cabin Republicans, Marc has been intrigued by the possibility of a guest-starring role for him ever since. Looks like now may be the time! Morning show veteran Levi Johnston is ready for prime time! Asked about the rumored Desperate Housewives gig, which would depict Levi as a boy toy for an older woman, a la Jesse Metcalfe, a friend of Sarah Palin said: “Well, maybe now he’ll be able to get caught up with his child support payments.” Oh, snap, deadbeat dad. Your Playgirl-posing a$$ got straight owned there. Levi is presently being sued by Bristol Palin for $1,750 a month in child support. He claims he’s tried to send money to her before and just hasn’t heard back . Either way, who isn’t pumped to see Levi Johnston nude on Desperate Housewives? You know he will be … it’s kind of the only thing he’s got going for him.

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Levi Johnston: Coming to Desperate Housewives?

Sarah Palin’s 2012 Map to Victory

It’s national campaign stat-porn season again! Number muncher Nate Silver posted some of his magic maps this morning . These maps explain how Sarah Palin could be the 2012 Republican nominee for President! That reddish line from the northwest through the deep South presents Palin’s best shot at the nomination, according to Silver. Basically she has to win either Iowa or South Carolina (or both!) in order to have a shot. But she does well with rural, non-college educated voters who care about terror and God. And that’s an important part of the GOP base! But the most important part of the GOP base is rich people who don’t want to pay taxes. And they will ensure that the nominee is Mitt Romney. He has the organization and the money and, most importantly, he came in second in 2008. That’s how the Republican nomination process works. Huckabee has an outside chance, but for some reason he is intensely hated by many of the GOP money people. Pawlenty is increasingly hated in his home state of Minnesota, but he might end up the least offensive “normal guy” backup choice. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin’s organization is a joke. Pam Pryor, a former RNC senior adviser, leads Palin’s political action committee and is orchestrating her outreach to social conservatives. Randy Scheunenmann remains her policy maestro, with informal assistance from his Orion Strategies colleague Michael Goldfarb, the former Weekly Standard writer and McCain campaign rapid responder. (Goldfarb did not return an e-mail seeking comment about his future in Palin’s world.) Fred Malek is perhaps the single Washington establishment figure that Palin turns to. Michael Goldfarb is a liability. Pam Pryor is an experienced evangelical adviser to Republicans but she hasn’t ever worked for a major candidate. Scheunenmann—one of Ahmad Chalabi’s men in Washington and lobbyist for the Republic of Georgia—was nearly fired from the McCain campaign (along with Goldfarb) for undermining and backstabbing. Fred Malek once counted Jews in the Department of Labor for Richard Nixon. As Dave Weigel pointed out, Huckbaee, Pawlenty, and Romney have bigger and better teams in place. Palin’s PAC can raise substantial amounts of money without much trouble, thanks to her high profile and intense fanbase, but they’re already famous for spending more money on her book than they did on candidates and their most recent fundraising letter has already been mocked for a grammatical error. And, obviously, Palin could surround herself with trained and experienced professionals, but she hates trained and experienced professionals, and the moral of her own stupid book is that she chafes at attempts to make her act like a grown-up. She could very well end up with the Republican nomination, but that would take a series of fluke victories and lucky breaks, and those have not traditionally been deciding factors in the GOP nomination process. But she is definitely kooky enough to give it a go, for which we should all be thankful. Because it will be hilarious.

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Sarah Palin’s 2012 Map to Victory

White House Openly Ridicules Sarah Palin

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs took a blatant shot at former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin today. You could say it was an open-handed slap of sorts. Robert Gibbs addressed the press corps this afternoon with a mini grocery list on his hand. The ingredients: Eggs, Milk, Bread (crossed out), Hope, Change. This was a response to Palin using crib notes while reciting her speech and laying into President Obama at the National Tea Party convention in Nashville. Because you really need to write down “I’m proud to be an American!” – her #1 political position – on your hand. Is memorization that hard? You betcha! Robert Gibbs mocks Sarah Palin’s “notes” from Sunday night . Pretty funny, really, when you consider she rips Obama for using a Teleprompter. Also funny? In her Q&A, she really went off-message … or off-English. Make no mistake, the White House didn’t appreciate Palin’s cheap shots, and the administration isn’t kidding when it talks about fighting back harder. After all, Palin hates their agenda even more than Levi Johnston ! If this continues, it’s going to get pretty stormy in D.C., and not just because the city’s about to get slammed by a second blizzard in less than a week. Should Sarah Palin run for president?

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White House Openly Ridicules Sarah Palin

White House Hits Palin with Open Hand Slap

Filed under: Politix The White House Press Secretary just openly mocked Sarah Palin — and he delivered the blow with the palm of his hand. Robert Gibbs just addressed the media with a mini grocery list written on his hand — plus two smart-ass additions: Eggs, Milk, … Permalink

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White House Hits Palin with Open Hand Slap

Sarah Palin’s Crib Sheet

[A close-up view of what Sarah Palin wrote on her hand .] View the Image

Sarah Palin’s Hand Gets Job Done

Filed under: Politix Sarah Palin was back in 10th grade biology class yesterday — using cheat notes on her hand during the Q&A following her speech at the Tea Party Convention in Tennessee. Cheaters never prosper. Thanks to the Huffington Post for the heads up. … Permalink

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Sarah Palin’s Hand Gets Job Done