Tag Archives: security

A Treasure Trove of Steve Jobs Stories [Nerdspotting]

Yesterday we asked readers about their run-ins with Steve Jobs , and they delivered. The Apple CEO is quietly ubiquitous, seen from Palo Alton to SoHo, from Whole Foods to French cafés, a shaggy-dressing crazy driver who’s kind to strangers. We asked how Jobs behaves in the wild for two reasons : One, we thought his outdoor café meeting with the powerful CEO of Google was probably staged for publicity , and wondered how common it was for him to be so conspicuously out in public. Two, we were curious if the most famous CEO in the world is able to connect with ordinary people — i.e., his ideal customers — while under constant threat of becoming a public spectacle. It would seem, based on the emails and comments we’ve received, that Jobs is able to mingle freely in public, albeit with an eye on the exits in case things get awkward or dangerous. Like our colleague Brian Lam over at Gizmodo, we’re coming around to the idea that the Jobs-Schmidt coffee might not have been staged. Jobs and Schmidt are regulars at the café where they were spotted , according to a source Lam quoted last night. Our readers, meanwhile, tell us Jobs is regularly out and about in Silicon Valley and New York. He’s not afraid to cut in line, dine alone, or speed around corners in the Apple parking lot. He does his own dishes. And sometimes security guards make him show his ID, just like anyone else. We’re keeping the identities of our tipsters confidential; if you see your email below and want to claim credit, just shoot us an emai . And now, for our catalog of Encounters of the Turtleneck Kind: Insane driver, part 1: I used to work for apple for about 5 years Quite often I would have to go to Cupertino for work stuff. One time I was pulling out of the IL 1 parking lot ( 1 infinite loop) and this silver mercedes near swiped me as he pulled in. I slammed on my breaks and was like who the f* #k was that? The car next to me stops, rolls down his window, and says “Oops my bad, you okay?” (it was Steve Jobs) I sat there with my mouth open as he rolled his window back up and pulled in the handicap spot. The guy next to me goes “damn i wish he would’ve clocked us, imagine the settlement!” dude drives like a maniac Insane driver, part 2: From BootHillBossanova’s comment : I was working as a bagger at the Palo Alto Whole Foods in the summer of ’97 [he probably means ’98, when the iMac debuted in August]. I was shagging carts one afternoon when I saw this silver Mercedes parked in a handicapped spot. Steve Jobs was inside screaming at his car phone . This was right before the first iMac was unveiled and I’m pretty sure I could make out, “Not. Fucking.Blue. Enough!!!” Insane driver, part 3: From steve.krupf’s comment : A couple years ago, I had a networking-type breakfast with a friend of a friend who worked for Apple, in the main cafeteria on the company’s campus in Cupertino. After I’d finished my tasty chorizo omelet (Apple has an amazing omelet bar), my guy on the inside walked me back to my car. We started saying our goodbyes, and I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was standing. Suddenly a silver Mercedes roadster-type car with no license plates came screaming around a bend and swerved ever so slightly to avoid me . And my Apple guy said: “Do you know who that was who almost ran you over?” It was an honor to have impeded your trip to your parking spot, Mr. Jobs. Steve’s turn to do dishes this is interesting timing for your article because this happened the other week. I live in Palo Alto and am a grad student at Stanford. We were in Jobs’ neighborhood two weekends ago having dinner with some friends of my parents, and we decided to take a walk in order to look at Steve Jobs’ and Steve Young’s houses, which are right next to each other. We headed over, and all of a sudden were alongside Jobs house. It’s a really unusual and interesting house, but very understated and relatively small. You can just freely walk on the sidewalk right next to it. Well, we were walking along, and I heard dishes clattering, coming from his house, and I look over and there he was in his kitchen window, black turtleneck and all, washing dishes . He just looked up at us, maybe 15 feet away. Nothing in between us but a window, no tall fence (a short, decorative, waist-high one). And we just walked on and proceeded to admire the apple orchard he has in his front yard, and even walked up his driveway a little to see his tulip garden (we were with a kindly old lady, so we didn’t look too menacing). His neighbor, who we were walking with, told us that his security lives in the house next door, and he is under constant surveillance, but I still couldn’t help but be shocked at how simple and unassuming his house was, and the fact that we saw him washing his dishes. If he doesn’t need security gates, I don’t know who does. My guess is that his coffee date with Eric Schmidt was very heavily guarded, its just you don’t see his security. As for whether it was staged or not, I don’t know. People seem to see him around Palo Alto a lot, so it seems like he is just living his normal life here, and that probably includes having coffee with other high-powered tech folks. The Sloppy CEO: A brush with a potential tantrum I was sent to the Apple campus to do a demo for the Final Cut group in ‘the Piano Bar’. We had a Genelec surround system sent directly to our contact at Apple and I loaded this on a huge cart along with other hardware and my Warr Guitar strapped to my back. We ‘booked’ the room so we were sure it would be abandoned, including the allocated setup time. So, I come crashing into this room with the cart *KERBLAM* and I see a group of five people talking quietly at a table in the back. I begin to unload and set up. Our Apple contact says, “We should, uh, get out of here.” I shrug and follow him out. He and my co-worker leave to go do something and I’m sitting outside the piano bar making sure nobody walks off with my gear. Moments later four, ashen Apple employees scurry out of the room and head out the door followed by a scruffy unshaven fellow. He stops, surveys the area, and, like a missile locking on to a strong heat signature, zeros in and walks towards me , the person who burst in on the private meeting. It is funny how the brain works. As this person approached me, I had time to string the following thoughts together: “This guy is coming to talk to me. Heh. He kind of looks like Steve Jobs, but Steve wouldn’t wear torn jeans and have a three day beard and what are the chances that within 15 minutes I’d bump into… OMFG…” He holds out his hand and says, “Hi, I’m Steve.” I owned a 128K Mac in 1984. Before that, a Lisa. What I do today was shaped largely by Apple, and what this person did. Heck, I started writing music by dragging notes onto a screen with a program called MusicWorks – it isn’t hyperbole to say my very interest in music started with the Macintosh. Being a fairly eloquent person, I summon up the response: “Hey.” Smooth. I don’t remember if I shook his hand or not. Stopping to chat up a fellow cancer patient I don’t personally have a Steve Jobs sighting, but my friend did, probably about four years ago. She lives in downtown Palo Alto a few blocks away from University Avenue, same neighborhood as him. She was recovering from chemo (she has cancer) and was taking a walk with her husband near the house when they ran into a man who noticed her headscarf and asked her how her treatment was going. They discussed their respective cancer treatments for a while; after he’d moved on, her husband told her who she’d been talking to. Also, it’s not surprising that he got lost going to the movies. I grew up on the Peninsula, and it happens to me every time I try to go to those big AMC theaters in Mountain View or Cupertino. Imagine a huge parking lot with no obvious landmarks and all the buildings looking indistinguishable from each other. It’s not like trying to find the AMC in Union Square!!! Steve Jobs waits in line for food like a normal person I never realized that he had a problem being in public. I was getting a smoothie at Whole Foods a few years ago in downtown Palo Alto one day and guess who was in line in front of me! After I ordered I went to sit down at the tables and there he was again, eating like a normal person. No bodyguards and no disguises . I mean, he lives in Palo Alto so why would it be weird to see him at a cafe there? First and last time I’ve ever seen him (I live in San Jose now). Steve Jobs does not wait in line for food like some peon From nataliekei’s comment : Not sure if this qualifies, but as a former Apple employee, Jobs was knows to park in the first spot closest to the door – even though it was a handicapp spot! HR finally had to tell him that isn’t OK even for him. Eventually they chalked a spot marked “Jobs” for him. Also, in the company cafeteria, there could be a HUGE line, however he would rush in and get his food by just cutting in line . Its good to be the king! Do You Know Who I Am? Not 100% sure if this is what you were looking for, but in 1998, the first year Macworld moved from the two convention centers in Boston to the Javits Center in New York City, I was walking around the lobby area trying to make my way back onto the convention floor. I was 13 at the time, playing with my 4 year old Newton 120 which my dad had given to me. Now back in 1998 Steve Job wasn’t supposed to show up for the Keynote, he was going to do it via satellite [ this is true] , but much to my amazement however I see 10 feet in front of me, Steve Jobs. I’m standing there watching the CEO of Apple and his 4-5 deep entourage yelling at the security guard . As I moved closer I heard one of the entourage say “This is Steve Jobs, he is the CEO of Apple Computer” to which the guard replied “He is not the CEO of the Javits Center, he needed a badge to enter .” So it seems in his last minute choice to go to Macworld, no one got Mr. Jobs an badge. Whoops. Steve Jobs does not shake hands with stangers I’ve just read this http://valleywag.gawker.com/5505515/how-steve-jobs-behaves-in-public and I can personally assure Jobs don’t like to shake hands to unknown people, here is a video taken at the end of a Macworld Expo keynote: http://www.setteb.it/?p=774 follow the second link to watch. The article is in Italian, Google Translator is embedded. Toward the end of this short clip , Jobs does indeed appear to avoid shaking hands several times. But we thought we heard him tell someone “I’m sick,” with the sound turned all the way up. Steve Jobs does shake hands with strangers, and remembers names as well as a politician From raincoaster’s comment : He met a friend of mine at some huge geek event, and two years later bumped into him at a different event, walked right up, stretched out his hand for a shake and said, “It’s Dave, right? From SFU?” Don’t make Steve Jobs shake your hand, he is sick, you insensitive clod: From DoctorJezebel’s comment : Readers of gawker blogs: the dude had a fucking liver transplant. He is chronically immunosuppressed for life to prevent his body from rejecting the new liver. This is basically the functional equivalent of having full-blown AIDS and being susceptible to all sorts of weird, normally benign conditions. No wonder he doesn’t want to shake your hand. This is a very good point; read the rest of the thread for more good comments along these lines. He’s good with kids and apparent crazy people From itmustbeken’s comment : Many years ago, my family were hanging out at a park near downtown Palo Alto. My kids were running around like they were insane and soon we were joined by several others. As I am want to do, I turned into a monster and chased the kids bellowing at the top of my lungs and generally acting like the worlds largest 7 year old. One little girl went up to her dad and said ‘This is the best park ever! He’s so funny!’ Her dad was Steve Jobs. He was warm, friendly and thanked me for running his kids ragged at the park. His wife was nice too. My brush with awesomeness. He’s good with kids, when his mind doesn’t wander: My first Steve Jobs sighting took place at Stanford Shopping Center, in Palo Alto, California, in the fall of 2002. It was on a Saturday, in the heart of the Christmas shopping season. I was sitting with two of my teenaged cousins at one of the outdoor cafes, La Baguette, when Steve walked by with one of his children. I noticed him right away because he was wearing his black turtleneck and blue jeans, as well as his wire-rimmed eyeglasses Another thing I observed: As he strode along with his child, he seemed very focused — as if on a mission to get someplace by a certain time. And though he was holding his child’s hand — which I thought was cute, on his part — he also appeared not to notice his child was walking next to him . PS — Since then, I’ve seen him a number of times during visits to Apple HQ — particularly inside IL 1 and at Caffe Mac — usually alone, though once with Jonny Ive. He takes care of his vehicle Hello, I live in Mountain View, CA right next door to his home town of Palo Alto, and occasionally drive by his house on Waverly. One time my wife and I drove by and saw him outside either washing or waxing his SL 55 —can’t remember, this was a few years ago, I think even before the iPhone. He looked in our direction as we drove by, and nodded as he probably noticed that both of us were staring, but that was about it. Cool on the catwalk From Motoko Kusanagi’s comment : When the Apple store in SoHo NYC opened, Steve was hanging out chatting with anyone who recognized him (surprisingly few people in NYC cared about him back then). I caught him hanging out on the little bridge connecting the two sides of the upper floor. He was just soaking up the launch of his newest baby, taking a moment to enjoy what was undoubtedly a whole lot of hard work. For such a private and allegedly aloof person, he is cool as can be. Couple of more details from the Apple store sighting we ran last time I used to work at one of the Apple Stores here in [New York] city. He was scheduled to come in, we didn’t know exactly when. He got out of a town car out front, walked in, and right up to me – shaking my hand and saying, “Hi, I’m Steve Jobs! Is XXXXX (name of the store manager) here?” When I said he was and called him, [Jobs] said he was going to run to the bathroom first – and went to the customer’s bathroom (which anyone can use – and isn’t exactly the cleanest). He came out, walked right back up to me, and started talking about the store. After about 5 min customers around us starting walking up asking to take pictures, and asking questions, when he promptly asked to be excused and left – back to the car and away. We had all heard stories about his desire to not shake hands (he offered first), his desire to not be in public (he spent his entire time in full view in open areas of the store) and his general shitty attitude (he was super nice and cordial). Just something I thought of when reading your article. All that being said, the company is security crazy. [After a follow up question:] The dude took a pilgrimage to India and shit in a hole – he had nothing at all to say about the bathroom . He talked about random stuff in the store, asked how we we doing, etc. He noticed a stain on a fixture and said it should be the first priority to get that fixed . Honestly, I think he is a seriously focused and dedicated guy who is a normal nerd at heart – except he’s been made into a hero by a group of people. Im not saying that the treatment he gets isn’t his fault, but he struck me in person as a completely different person than what he’s portrayed as. Got a story that can top these? We’ll take it ! (Top pic: Jobs at an Apple store, by JD Lewin )

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A Treasure Trove of Steve Jobs Stories [Nerdspotting]

Matt LeBlanc Is Dying … His Hair

Filed under: Paparazzi Photo , Beauty Matt LeBlanc is sick of playing nice and going back to the dark side — by getting rid of his gray hair.After being spotted last month rockin’ a handsome salt & pepper ‘do (right), the 42-year-old showed up to a newsstand in Brentwood on Wednesday … Permalink

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Matt LeBlanc Is Dying … His Hair

Miley Cyrus Says The Internet ‘Wastes Your Life’

‘I was kind of tired of telling everyone what I’m doing,’ Cyrus says about her decision to leave Twitter last year. By Jocelyn Vena Miley Cyrus Photo: Bryan Bedder/Getty Images When Miley Cyrus left Twitter last fall — possibly at her beau and “The Last Song” co-star Liam Hemsworth ‘s request — fans were upset at not being able to keep track of the pop star’s every thought. And while they still may be mourning the loss of Cyrus’ tweets nearly six months after she said goodbye, she doesn’t regret the decision to leave one bit. “I was kind of tired of telling everyone what I’m doing,” Cyrus said in an interview with Movieline . “I hate when I read things and celebrities are complaining like, ‘I have no personal life.’ I’m like, well, that’s because you write everything that you’re doing.” Cyrus said that she realized the only person she was hurting by tweeting every moment of her life was herself. “So I was that person who was like, ‘I’m so sad. I have no real, normal life. Everyone knows what I’m doing.’ And I’m like, well that’s my own fault because I’m telling everyone,” the singer explained. “And then I’d tweet, ‘I’m here,’ and I’d wonder why a thousand fans are outside the restaurant. Well, hel lo, I just told them. So I’m just, like, kind of thinking it doesn’t really make a lot of sense. Everything I’m saying is not really going with what I’m putting on the Internet.” Cyrus explained the benefits of not constantly being on the Internet: “I’m a lot less on my phone, I’m a little bit more social. I have a lot more real friends as opposed to friends who are on the Internet who I’m talking to — which is like not cool, not safe, not fun and most likely not real. I think everything is just better when you’re not so wrapped up in [the Internet]. “I just think it’s kind of lame,” Cyrus added. “I feel like I hang out with my friends and they’re so busy taking pictures of what they’re doing and putting them on Facebook that they’re not really enjoying what they’re doing. You’re going to look back and have a million pictures, but you’re not going to be in any of them. Because you’re not having fun, you’re too busy clicking away. So I think, just enjoy the moment you’re in, and stop telling people about it. Just enjoy it.” And what advice does she have for other teens wrapped up in their online life? Well, simply to get offline and get outside. “I’m telling kids, don’t go on the Internet, it’s dangerous, it’s not fun, it wastes your life,” she said. “And you should be outside playing sports or something.” The singer/actress also revealed that when “Hannah Montana” wraps up after season four , she has no plans to ever play the pop star again. “It’s interesting to leave my security blanket behind. It was such a huge deal in so many kids’ lives,” she said. “[Hannah’s] wig is out. One will be in a museum, and one will be … burned, or something.” Related Artists Miley Cyrus

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Miley Cyrus Says The Internet ‘Wastes Your Life’

The Spy Who Wronged Me: The New York Times’ Messy Entanglement With an Ex-CIA Operative [Spooks]

The New York Times reported this morning that an off-the-books intelligence operation may be assassinating people in Pakistan with the help of a sketchy former spook—the same guy that the Times hired to save reporter David Rohde ‘s life. Dexter Filkins and Mark Mazzetti’s Page One story on a secret contractor-run intelligence program in Afghanistan and Pakistan offers a weird view into the intersection of the media business and the world of spycraft, not to mention the hazards of a newspaper like the Times hiring a private army led by an arguably crazy ex-spy. The story recounts the development of a “network of private contractors in Afghanistan and Pakistan to help track and kill suspected militants” that operated under the cover of “a benign government information-gathering program,” and Mazzetti and Filkins refer darkly to the involvement a legendary former CIA operative named Duane “Dewey” Clarridge as evidence that something was fishy about the whole thing. They describe Clarridge as “a former top C.I.A. official who has been linked to a generation of C.I.A. adventures, including the Iran-Contra scandal,” which is a nicer way of saying Clarridge was involved in the illegal mining of Nicaraguan harbors and indicted in 1991 for lying to Congress about arms shipments to Iran (he was pardoned by President George H.W. Bush in 1992 ). Clarridge is a legendary old spook in intelligence circles, and the Times says the Defense Department official who ran the program “would occasionally brag to his superiors about having Mr. Clarridge’s services at his disposal.” As the story discloses, the Times once also had Clarridge’s services at its disposal. He was hired, through his employer American International Security Corporation, in 2008 to secure the release of kidnapped Times reporter David Rohde from his Taliban captors in Pakistan. When Rohde was first kidnapped, the Times and its insurer AIG sought out a security firm called Clayton Consultants to handle the case. Clayton’s strategy, and expertise from prior cases it had worked on, was to negotiate a ransom. But after negotiations stalled, Rohde’s family became anxious and insisted that the Times pursue a dual-track approach: Clayton would continue the ransom route, but the Times also hired AISC and Clarridge to prepare a paramilitary snatch-and-grab operation. A team assembled by Clarridge was at one point suited up and ready to assault a location where they believed Rohde was being held, according to New York magazine , but the operation was called off at the last minute. Rohde and his translator Tahir Ludin eventually escaped on their own in June of last year. But Clarridge soon began causing headaches for the Times . He freely talked to reporters off the record—ABC News’ Brian Ross is said to be in regular contact with him—and began spreading rumors that the story of Rohde’s escape was a sham. Ross and New York both reported that contractors hired by the Times had paid bribes to Rohde’s guards , contradicting the Times ‘ claims that it had paid no ransom and suggesting that Rohde’s escape was a planned operation. According to one contractor who worked on Rohde’s case, Clarridge was inflating his role in facilitating Rohde’s escape in an effort to justify AISC’s enormous fees. The contractor says Clarridge routinely supplied inaccurate intelligence about Rohde’s whereabouts—on the day Rohde escaped from a safehouse in Miram Shah, Waziristan, the source said, Clarridge was claiming that he was being held in an entirely different location. The rumor campaign against the Times culminated in a series of Twitter posts by independent warblogger Michael Yon, who caused a stir in November by writing that “ex-CIA officers helped pay off release for Rohde” to the tune of “millions” of dollars. Yon’s claims attracted a flurry of attention, and Rohde responded that he would “never have written a five-part series [detailing his captivity and escape] based on a lie.” In December, in response to inquiries from Gawker, Rohde wrote that “money was paid to individuals who claimed to know our whereabouts, but I do not believe that the guards who lived with us were bribed. As I have repeatedly said, our guards did not help us during our escape. In addition, no one has been able to name the guards who lived with us.” According to one Times insider, the paper suspected Clarridge was behind the rumors and confronted him, but took him at his word when he denied it. “There’s no ill will toward Clarridge,” the insider says. “Getting accurate information out of the tribal areas is extraordinarily difficult.” But another source familiar with Clarridge’s involvement in the Rohde episode says the Times was furious, and threatened in December to withhold payment from AISC, claiming that the leaks and rumors constituted a violation of the contract. AISC, the source says, was considering legal action against the paper. The tension seems to have defused, however. Reached at his home in California, Clarridge told Gawker that the Times and AISC “came to some sort of a negotiated settlement,” before declining to answer further questions for the record. A Times spokesman says “We have no billing dispute with AISC, and AISC has no billing dispute with us.” And the Times insider insists that the dispute was “about money and hours,” not any involvement Clarridge may have had with the bribery rumors. Clarridge, who is in his late 70s, is a strange man, and has a reputation among reporters who have spoken to him of making outrageous and contradictory statements. In September 2009, he sent a political screed via e-mail to a wide contact list under the subject heading “Senator McCarthy Was Right.” In it, he complained of the influence of “far left vermin (FLV) as they are known in the bug business” and hailed the imminent right-wing insurrection: “We won the Cold War; now we will win The War of the Authoritarians, which will be a civil war in the USA and such catastrophes are always exquisitely nasty.” The prospect of the Department of Defense hiring an indicted perjurer who advocates “civil war in the USA” to run an off-the-books intelligence operation is strange enough without adding in his prior ugly entanglement with the New York Times . The fact that it was the Times itself who blew the lid off his involvement makes the whole thing unbelievably incestuous. (The Times insider, for what it’s worth, says the story was not motivated by a vendetta against Clarridge: “He came up very late in the reporting, and once he did, we had to put him in there with a disclosure of his previous involvement with the Times.”) The program started with an idea from, of all people, former CNN executive and Sharon Stone-dater Eason Jordan . He proposed a DOD-funded web site, similar to his post-CNN project Iraq Slogger, that would cover Afghanistan and Pakistan. The DOD loved the idea and funded it to the tune of $22 million, but the money was diverted, the Times says, to the secret intelligence network by Michael Furlong, a DOD official and former Air Force officer with “extensive experience in psychological operations.” Jordan’s web site, Afpax, did get off the ground, but he says he only received two slight payments from the DOD funding the work. The rest of the money allocated for the project went somewhere else—presumably to the secret network. It wasn’t Jordan’s first run-in with psy-ops. While he was in charge of newsgathering for CNN, he invited active duty psy-ops operatives with the Army to intern in CNN’s Atlanta headquarters . “Psyops personnel, soldiers, and officers, have been working in CNN’s headquarters in Atlanta through our program ‘Training With Industry,'” an Army spokesperson admitted in 2000. The program was immediately discontinued once people figured out that it’s not such a good idea to invite professional liars to help deliver cable news and study how to better lie to news organizations. So he probably should have known better.

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The Spy Who Wronged Me: The New York Times’ Messy Entanglement With an Ex-CIA Operative [Spooks]

RPattz Is A Mama’s Boy

Robert Pattinson has been snapped smoking cigs before… But he’s still scared of what will happen if his mom finds out. A source on the set of his latest movie Bel Ami says: “Robert tried to make sure his security shielded him from lurking photographers. But a snap has appeared in America [of him smoking].”

Ryan Seacrest Stalker Pleads No Contest, Will Undergo Psych Eval

Seacrest charges out? For the most part. Chidi Benjamin Uzomah Jr. pleaded no contest today to a felony stalking count stemming from his security-guard-be-damned desire for proximity to…

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Ryan Seacrest Stalker Pleads No Contest, Will Undergo Psych Eval

What Happened to Larry King’s Private Jet? [Mysteries]

Imagine being so rich that world events literally could not affect you. This is Larry King ‘s life, basically. Today King flew commercial for the first time since 9/11. He was surprised how much things had changed. King got groped. Why? Today, Larry King spoke at George Washington University and, for some reason, he flew commercial from LA. There is something sort of sad about the item covering his experience in the Washington Examiner. In it, a bewildered Larry King narrates his very standard airport security experience as if it were an alien abduction. From the Examiner : King, miffed that he even had to take off his shoes to go through security at Los Angeles International Airport, set off an alarm when he walked through the metal detector. “So when you fail the test, which is what I did, I failed the security test, they had to give me the complete body search,” the CNN host said. They make you take off your shoes!? What are you going to do, fill them with plastic explosives and attempt to blow up a plane? Also, what is a “laptop computer” and why does it need to be removed from its case? Then, things got REALLY WEIRD. Or, if you are not lucky enough to be so old and rich that you exist apart from history , completely normal: “So I had to stand there with [my] arms [out], and they are talking with me at the same time, ‘loved the show last night, turn over your belt,’ and then they grab you by the privates,” he said. “They examined me pretty good.” Unbelievable: It’s almost like the TSA was functioning in a normal and efficient way. (Don’t even ask what happened when Larry tried to light his cigar on the plane.) This tragedy is compounded by the fact that, as Rumor Rat notes , Larry King’s enormous contract with CNN stipulates that they provide him access to a private jet. (He pushed for increased access in 2002.) Last year, in fact, King skipped a New York Police Athletic League fundraiser because he “doesn’t fly commercial” and was unable to secure a private jet from Los Angeles. Larry King did see a buddy on his flight, though: So, Why is Larry King flying commercial? Is CNN really sucking out that bad? This is serious: Everyone knows that when Larry has to rub shoulders with common people his skin sloughs off in thin, transparent sheets. Email us with the deets.

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What Happened to Larry King’s Private Jet? [Mysteries]

Jay-Z Security Shoves Fan Off Stage

Jay-Z’s security team made quick work of a stage crasher during the rapper’s concert in D.C. last night — bull-rushing the dumbass off the stage before the fan even knew what hit him. Jay and Memphis Bleek were in the middle of a performance when it … Permalink

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Jay-Z Security Shoves Fan Off Stage

Jackson Compound Investigated After Stun Gun Scare

Children and Family Services called in after Jermaine Jackson’s son obtains stun gun in home where Michael Jackson’s children live. By Gil Kaufman Michael Jackson Photo: Sony The Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services concluded a six-hour investigation at the Jackson family compound in Encino, California, on Tuesday after reports surfaced that one of Jermaine Jackson’s sons, Jaafar, was in possession of a stun gun in the same home where Michael Jackson’s three young children live. According to TMZ , DCFS workers first arrived on Monday night after a tip that 13-year-old Jaafar was playing with a stun gun at the home. But despite earlier reports, the lawyer for Katherine Jackson, Adam Streisand, insisted that neither of Michael’s boys, Blanket, 8, and Prince Michael, 13, were in the room with Jaafar when he was playing with the stun gun. Unnamed sources told TMZ that social workers interviewed all the children in the house, including Michael’s three kids, as well as other family members and staff, and that the plan was to return to the residence on Wednesday (March 3) for further questioning. There was reportedly some dispute about the timeline of when Jaafar obtained the stun gun. Some staffers said the teen had it for several days before a security staffer allegedly stumbled upon him playing with it and pointing it at Blanket and Prince, while Streisand said that it was in his possession for just a few minutes before being confiscated and that no other children were in harm’s way. According to a statement from Streisand , Jaafar ordered what he termed a “taser” online, and it was delivered to the compound two weeks ago. The lawyer said Jaafar opened the package alone in a bathroom and then “tested it on a piece of paper.” After Katherine and members of the security staff heard the sound, they confiscated the device. The statement claimed that Katherine removed the taser from the home, but TMZ claimed it was still there when DCFS arrived and confiscated it. “Blanket Jackson never saw or heard the stun gun,” Streisand said. “Neither did Paris Jackson. Prince saw the stun gun in the possession of security.” He added, “All of the kids are happy, healthy and wonderful and that is Mrs. Jackson’s only objective and concern.” Michael’s three children have been in the custody of their grandmother since the singer’s death in June. The manufacturer of the pocket-sized Scorpion stun gun that is reportedly at the center of the probe said it is the smallest, most powerful single-battery unit on the market, capable of delivering a 300,000-volt jolt. Related Artists Michael Jackson

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Jackson Compound Investigated After Stun Gun Scare

Six Other Beverage-Based Political Parties That Should Exist [Listicle]

Have you heard about this Coffee Party? It’s basically a Facebook page , but has been somehow featured in the Times and the Post . The party stands for “cooperation in government.” Whatever! Here are six other beverage-based parties that should exist. The Long Island Iced Tea Party Slogan: “Throw off the shackles of the Federal government… but chill out first, K?” Key Issues: fighting taxes in an affable manner; genially advancing Obama conspiracy theories; abolishing the government… and having fun while doing it! Mission Statement: Like the Tea Party, the Iced Tea Party is born from a mixture of populist anger, xenophobia and anti-government sentiment. Unlike the Tea Party, these angry white people want to enjoy their time raging against the Feds. Weekly meetings are organized in local TGI Fridays, where Long Island Iced Tea party members gather round oversized margaritas and take turns at an Obama pinata in the special party room. The Monster Energy Drink Party Slogan: “Go America! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!” Key Issues: Energy; Transportation; Communications; Go! Go! Go! Mission Statement: Many Americans complain that our hyperconnected, hypermediated world is drowning our ability to think critically in a flood of information. These Americans’ brains are not sufficiently augmented with the correct mixture of caffeine, sugar, anti-oxidants and bull hormones. Through improvements in infrastructure and investments in high technology, The Monster Energy Drink Party secure our right not only to browse the Internet on an airplane, but to shoot, edit and upload your latest video blog entry while piloting a personal jet-pack. Weekly meetings held remotely, as many Monster Energy Drink Party members will be trapped at the bottom a manhole they fell into while texting and walking at the same time. The Chocolate Milk Party Slogan: “Chocolate and milk are better together” Key Issues: Race-relations; affirmative action; the achievement gap; prejudice Mission Statement: Like a gay-straight alliance except between black and white people! Together, this bi-racial mob will sweep the country, striking down racism of all types and fostering improved race relations via distributing Sapphire books to whites and Mad Men box sets to blacks. Meetings will be held weekly over a beer on the White House’s South Lawn. Asians, Latinos and “others” welcome. The Whiskey Party Slogan: “Our Country is Fucked up—You should be too.” Key Issues: Legalized gambling; legalized prostitution; legalized marijuana; legalized everything; abolishing the speed limit. Mission Statement: With so much of America gone to shit, we need a strong voice supporting the right of citizens to drink/fuck/smoke their pain away. Rising like a great cloud of hash smoke to blanket the land, the Whiskey Party will be found wherever a laid-off steelworker is slumped over his seventh beer in a bar; wherever a divorcee chokes her loneliness in a massive bong hit; wherever a man trades a woman $40 in food stamps to step on his back in stilettos; the Whiskey Party will be there. The Rubbing Alcohol Party Slogan: “The Whiskey Party is a bunch of rich snobs.” Key Issues: Same as the Whiskey Party, but a lot gnarlier. Mission Statement: BLAAAAAARRGGGHHH The Cherry Coke Party Slogan: “Why the hell doesn’t every store in America carry Cherry Coke?” Key Issues: Ensuring the security and efficiency of America’s Cherry Coke supply Mission Statement: Cherry Coke is the most underrated soft drink. We must pass a constitutional amendment which requires every store and restaurant in the land that carries Coke products to carry Cherry Coke as well. Seriously, America, when are you going to realize this is a civil rights issue?

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Six Other Beverage-Based Political Parties That Should Exist [Listicle]