Tag Archives: security

Zoe Saldana and Some Airport Security Porn of the Day

Virgins Losers love this bitch because she is what they modeled the girl in Avatar after, and Avatar porn clips are all the fuckin’ rage in the virgin loser circuit, as virgin losers may hate “cheating” on their previous love interests and sexual fantasies they’re loyal to, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Xena the Warrior Princess, their love for technology just can’t pass up on new masturbation trends……. I feel that once a virgin loser leaves the safety of his mother’s basement or computer filled apartment after years of therapy, some medication and a new outlook on life that realizes he will either kill himself or break the miserable pattern his social awkwardness and obsessive compulsiveness has created for him, hoping to make his way through life as close to a normal person as possible by divorcing his internet wife he met on an RPG game and trying to not talk about bullshit that only he and 3 other guys online find interesting, only to realize that real life is hard, since real woman walk around it, making everything so fuckin’ distracting, because everything leads to an erection….especially when all your fantasies come true and the actress who played your most recent alien crush is getting patted down in airport security in a pair of tight jeans that show off her flat ass the virgins don’t find flat because it’s ass and it’s connected to the bitch from Avatar….making them realize this whole living in the normal world is not going to work for them, it’s too much of a sensory overload, that is just way too much to handle….limiting their excursions to seeing Sci-fi movies in 3D for the 14th time…and going to the computer store to buy parts for the spaceship they are building in the garage. I didn’t re-read this because I find editing too self-absorbed but I hope it makes sense…..otherwise it was a huge waste of time and by huge I mean 5 minutes of time which is huge if you only have 6 minutes to live. True story. Pics via Bauer

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Zoe Saldana and Some Airport Security Porn of the Day

Battle of the Blog Designs: The Guest of a Guest vs. Gawker Design War

Today’s Page Six had an especially glorious item, pitting the designs of two gossip blog networks against each other , with chatter that someone’s totally biting our shit off : the socialite chronicling Guest of a Guest , and Gawker Media . That’s us. Whenever I get to bust out the #SelfReferential tag, the sun is shining down especially bright on God’s Bloggy Children, and today is no exception. See, we kind of look like one thing, and Guest of Guest kind of looked like another thing. And then one day, someone who works for us noted that this one thing ( Guest of a Guest ‘s design) looks like the other (our design) a little too much. And we’re going to leave it up to you, the people, to decide if it does! The timeline goes like this: On Thursday, someone who works here pointed out between the two websites. Then, the guy who pays me pointed it out. Like this! As they say in the “rap game,” SHOTS FIRED. Take a look: Cameron Winklevoss —in short, a shiny Ivy League-educated Olympic rower with an entrepreneurial streak, stellar last name, and twin brother—did in fact claim to invent Facebook, and you can read about that stuff here . Whatever , because later that evening: BANG. More shots. The link was to a Tumblr account presumably opened up by design people Hard Candy Shell, with one post on it: And here I’d compare this to Biggie and Tupac except, well, they were both thugged out rappers whose art will stand the test of time, and, uh, this is about two blog networks. Ha. So, anyway, on Friday, a Guest of a Guest Tumblr post asks the world if my boss is going “batshit.” And Guest of a Guest’s Rachelle Hruska fired back with her own allegation of noting that our company’s recent blog acquisition, CityFile, looks like Guest of a Guest. Take a look, decide for yourself: Rachelle also noted that her redesign party was four months ago . For the record, that Tips box you see at the top of the screen launched for us back in October about a month and two days before Hruska’s redesign party. Whatever. Now, if you have yet to open your motion sickness bags, we’ll come back around to today’s Page Six item, hysterically titled BLOG FIGHT, in which this goes down : “It’s a bit silly,” said one blogger. Asked to comment, Denton told us, “Cameron Winklevoss claimed he invented Facebook,” and noted that Winklevoss settled a lawsuit against [Facebook founder] Mark Zuckerberg “for millions of dollars. So it’s surprising he has neither the cre ativity nor the funds to come up with his own Web design.” Said Hruska: “Who is Nick Denton ?” Me-yow, sister. I reached out to Rachelle Hruska and Cameron Winklevoss for quote because I know I’d get a screamy email if I didn’t, and Rachelle returned to me with this: “You know what they say, punch a bully in the eye and watch him cry. This has nothing to do with our site (which has been in steady state for months), rather Denton’s bruised ego after we described his “acquisition” of cityfile a lackquisition and pointed to how New York media sheepishly lapped it up. Since then Denton has been squealing like a stuck pig on twitter and working to plant a piece in page six. Who would have thought the custodian of negativity’s cesspool and king of ad hominem attacks would take such offense to tempered skepticism? The fact that Page Six ran with this is confirmation of our original thesis and that Stockholm Syndrome is rampant in New York Media. Hopefully Los Angeles Media puts up slightly more resistance when Denton comes looking for their lunch money. We launch our LA site tomorrow .” Haha, is “lackquisition” a real word? I don’t care. Also, nice plug . Whee! I’d reach out to Gawker Media Overlord Nick Denton for comment but honestly he’s probably annoyed that I spent any time on this at all. Also, if in fact he actually cares about this, the publicity that was a byproduct of this post for Guest of a Guest is pretty undeniable! Finally, if he has anything to say, he’ll probably drop in the comments, or write me a terrifying email. So I’m leaving it up to you, the people! One more look-see: And you decide! Did Guest of a Guest rip Gawker’s design off? ( opinion )

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Battle of the Blog Designs: The Guest of a Guest vs. Gawker Design War

Scoring Sunday’s Nuptials: Fly High, Snowbirds of Love. Fly High.

What do we talk about when we talk about snow ? Does it matter? Those are some cute dogs, right? [CLICK THEM.] It matters to the NYT’s Weddings & Celebrations section, though, and thus, matters to Gawker Weddings Expert Phyllis Nefler . In today’s op-ed in the New York Times Thomas ” The World Is Phat ” Friedman implored Americans to join together and become a “generation that renews, refreshes, re-energizes and rebuilds America for the 21st century,” dubbing this utopian cohort “The Regeneration.” Note to Friedman: you may want to skip over the Styles Section this weekend, lest you see the truth that we’re really just The Ski Generation. Perhaps it’s Olympic fever; more likely it’s just the Times relying on ski-related stories in the winter the way they’re all Montauk this and Wainscott that in the summer. Whatever the reason, Styles leads with a story about “the return of the American ski bum,” that Cloudveil-clad archetype, and later reminds us that the couples who ski together surely will be together. [ Ed. Projecting much hmm?!? ] Elizabeth Scott and Kris Barber first met when they worked together at Kansas City investment bank. (Is that like Equities in Dallas ?) It wasn’t until they “were part of a ski house in Breckenridge, Colo. for several winters” that their romance blossomed “through winters of skiing and summers of biking.” And because he didn’t want to get engaged on a pending trip to Europe — “too much of a cliche” — Barber instead went with a completely novel plan: on a hike in the the mountains. Near the ski house, natch. Scott and Barber are well on their way to becoming as badass as Polly Samuels and Andrew McLean , who were featured in Vows in 2005 and are checked up on this weekend. The pair’s love for the sport was such that they were married at “Our Lady of the Snows” chapel in Alta, walking out of the chapel “under an archway of ski poles held aloft by friends, many in ski boots.” McLean is well known in the skiing community for his backcountry prowess—he has skied in areas as far flung as New Zealand and Iran, was featured in the excellent and mindboggling documentary Steep , and keeps a website called StraightChuter.com —while Samuels went from being a prosecutor in the New York DA’s office to working as a lawyer in Park City. Ms. McLean, once a Type A Manhattan girl, is now a Type A mountain girl. In her own way, she is even more extreme than he is. In 2007 while five months pregnant with their first child, Mira, she accompanied him on a hut-to-hut trip in the High Atlas Mountains of Morocco. In New Zealand in 2006, he went ski mountaineering while she spent a week swimming with dolphins. Now 40, she competes with him in endurance races, including an annual one in which competitors climb up and ski down Sunlight Mountain Resort in Glenwood Springs, Colo. – continuously for 24 hours. “It doesn’t get really interesting until after midnight when you start hallucinating,” she said. They met in a yurt, and he proposed atop Mount Kilimanjaro. Their daughter, who is 2, “already has her own quiver of skis — ones for backcountry, others for resort skiing, all about the lentgh of a baguette.” Her name is Mira, after “a craggy, steep, continuous, daunting alpine face in Alaska.” Maybe you should try out that bunny hill after all. Elsewhere this weekend, a freelance photographer married a videographer who filmed “a whale rescue on ‘Untamed and Uncut’ on Animal Planet” (insert dork jokes here); the daughter of New York Knicks announcer John Andariese married a flight lieutenant in the British Royal Air Force , and I really hope Gus Johnson gave a toast at the wedding; and a raging health care reformer — hey, she likes Nader! — finally agreed to get married so that her fiance could get something a lil stronger than medicinal tea for his kidney stones. Say what you will, she’s got the “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue” thing down pat. That last couple’s story, by the way, included this romantic vignette: Then, in 2004, Mr. Swift returned to Akron for Christmas and encountered Ms. Robbins at a local bar. When she said, “Let’s do a shot later,” he interpreted it as a polite yet definitive blow off. But as last call rolled around, Mr. Swift sidled up to her and said, “How about that shot?” “It was one of those running-through-the-lilies kind of moments,” she said. If that’s running through the lilies then my life is freaking Chariots of Fire. Emily Fong Mitchell and Stephen Samuel Fleming • The wedding was in Maui: +1 • The bride and groom both graduated from Harvard: +7 • The bride received an MBA at Wharton and the groom from Harvard: +9 • “The bride’s maternal grandfather, the late Hiram L. Fong of Hawaii, was the first Asian American elected to the United States Senate, serving from 1959 to 1977”: +2 • The bride’s father is the president of the Maui Medical Group: +1 • The bridegroom’s mother “retired as a French teacher and the chairwoman of the foreign language department at the Convent of the Sacred Heart High School in San Francisco: +1 TOTAL: 21 Erin Elizabeth Kotheimer and Pepijn Marijn Helgers • Those dimples!: +1 • Both the bride and groom work for the State Department, she as “a political advisor at the United States Mission to the United Nations in charge of Security Council matters involving topics like the Horn of Africa, piracy and the impact of armed conflict on women” and he as “a Foreign Service officer in Washington, working on security-related issues regarding the Republic of Georgia”: +9 • The bride graduated magna cum laude from Marymount Manhattan College and received a master’s degree from Columbia: +6 • The groom graduated magna cum laude from the University of New Mexico and received a master’s degree from Johns Hopkins: +4 • The groom was awarded the Bronze Star in April 2009 for service in Iraq: +1 • The bride’s father is the chief of staff at the Commonwealth Health Center in Saipan, in the Northern Mariana Islands: +1 • The groom’s previous marriage ended in divorce: -1 • The groom’s mom’s name is Wilhelmina Helgers-Dirkx: +1 TOTAL: 22 [ Pretty photo of those ridiculously cute dogs used with permission via Keith Loh . ]

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Scoring Sunday’s Nuptials: Fly High, Snowbirds of Love. Fly High.

Charlie Sheen’s SUV: Stolen, Crashed, Lying at Bottom of Cliff

As if Charlie Sheen’s personal life wasn’t unusual enough… The actor’s SUV was reportedly stolen early this morning and is currently lying at the bottom of a cliff near Mulholland Drive. TMZ confirms the actor was awoken at 4 a.m.

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Charlie Sheen’s SUV: Stolen, Crashed, Lying at Bottom of Cliff

Why the Hell Shouldn’t We Have Terror Trials Here?

Rich Uncle Bloomberg does not want terrorist Khalid Shaikh Mohammed tried in Federal court in lower Manhattan. And so now it will probably not happen. Not because of fear of terror, but because of fear of real estate prices dropping.

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Why the Hell Shouldn’t We Have Terror Trials Here?

Hollywood Tuna’s Top Ten Babes Of 2009 – #1 Blake Lively

Well I guess it was obvious, judging by the 100s of emails you guys sent me, that my future ex wife Blake Lively would be Hollywood Tuna’s #1 Babe Of 2009. Yes, Blakey was by far the most popular girl in Tunaland.

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Hollywood Tuna’s Top Ten Babes Of 2009 – #1 Blake Lively

Jon Cryer Threatened on ‘Two and a Half Men’ Set

Filed under: Charlie Sheen , Exclusives Security flooded the set of “Two and a Half Men” on Friday after a threat was made against Jon Cryer.Sources connected with the show tell us the threat was “significant.” We’re also told it involves the turbulent divorce with Jon’s ex-wife.Sources … Permalink

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Jon Cryer Threatened on ‘Two and a Half Men’ Set

LiLo Car Incident — The 911 Call

Filed under: Celebrity Justice TMZ has obtained the 911 call made last weekend when Lindsay Lohan’s assistant allegedly clipped a photographer with her car.In the call, which was made by a woman helping the photographer, she says the photog’s wrist hurts and “he’s unable to … Permalink

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LiLo Car Incident — The 911 Call

Threat on ‘Two and a Half Men’ Set

Filed under: Charlie Sheen Security has flooded the set of “Two and a Half Men” after a threat was made against Jon Cryer.Sources connected with the show tell us the threat was “significant.” We’re also told it involves the turbulent divorce with Jon’s ex-wife.Sources tell us … Permalink

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Threat on ‘Two and a Half Men’ Set

TSA funding airport mind-reading scanners

Amid the media furor over the attempted Christmas Day attacks and a renewed political focus on enhancing airport security, attention is turning to a technological advancement that will have civil rights activists — or, for that matter, anyone with a secret –seriously worried: Mind-reading machines. “As far-fetched as that sounds, systems that aim to get inside an evildoer's head are among the proposals floated by security experts thinking beyond the X-ray machines and metal detectors used on millions of passengers and bags each year,” AP's Michael Tarm reports. Tarm focuses on an Israeli company called WeCU Technologies (as in “we see you”), which is building a system that would turn airport waiting areas into arenas for Pavlovian behavioral tests: The system …

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TSA funding airport mind-reading scanners