Remember Winona Ryder, the actress from the 90s who fucked everyone and was marketed as being way hotter than she was…either do I… But apparently she doesn’t want you to forget her, and she’s done gone posed all slutty for some fashion magazine like it was still the 90s…an era she probably misses every fucking day…because it was an era where she wasn’t seen as some junkie slut who steals…but as some teen heartthrob who needed to be in every movie making bank… I am all for bitches trying to squeeze into their wedding dresses after drinking a bottle of wine during a mid-life crisis…those girls are easy targets and I assume that is what’s going on here…the ex-hollywood heartthrob version…
I don’t really give a fuck about 15 year old Kardashians who are being bred like the farm animals we can safely assume they are into being fame whore brats who manage to make a lot of fucking money in the process…I mean there are so many of them…how can they not be their own little enterprise… But it seems like everyone is excited at the fact that one turned 18 and the mom didn’t waste any time put the heat on the last standing underage one she could squeeze in before her devil uterus shut down operation in her fame-whoring quest….Because underage girls get noticed by perverts…always…and that shit creates loyalty for life… Cuz now the little one is posting slutty pics, that could just be her being jealous of her older sister’s porn career, her other older sisters porn offers now that she’s 18, so she’s trying to establish her own porn future…here and now…and you love it…sicko
People may want to hate Miley’s Lil Kim costume – because they just don’t see the high concept money making puppet that Miley Cyrus is…or because they don’t understand why she chose a titty pastie that was bigger than her entire titty…but they do seem to like making “twerk or treat” jokes…even though Miley doesn’t actually know how to twerk…I guess they just don’t understand how hip hop she is…but maybe her dressing up like the bitch who fucked BIGGY will make them all realize she’s legit..and not some Disney novelty act in the Hollywood Hills with too much money to be grounded or really know what’s up… I don’t even think Miley was born when Kim was relevant, but none of that matters cuz I am too busy loving everything about this…a little too much…
I have been trying to marry Anastasia Ashley…for the last 3 months. She’s a fucking star on all levels and I love her for more than just her fearless approach to life, her surfing and what one may consider shameless or even exhibitionism on her instagram… I think is amazing…even if it’s not smeared up against my face…which it should be and the fact that it isn’t makes me sad. That said, She’s been getting all kinds of shit today on the internet because she posted this video of her ass being amazing before catching a wave, if that’s even surf talk, I’m not really in that world, and I don’t know what’s up in general…maybe that’s why Anastasia won’t marry me…but what I do know is is fit round asses when I see them and it seems like this ass is fit and round and I want to chip my tooth on it… You see surf girls, even the fat, ugly, troll-like ones all have rocking’ asses…but some get more hate than others and since I want to be her superman…I am here to defend her… The fact is simple, she’s in a bikini all fucking day, so being in a bikini isn’t a thing for her, it’s like her posing in pants would be more unnatural for her, she’s got a great fit body, that she’s spent her life working on, that she’s clearly comfortable with, and just living, is not exploiting it just cuz she’s showing it…. No one hates on a nurse for posing in her blood and semen covered scrubs…you see this is her fucking uniform… People can choose to watch her or ignore her, they can even hate on her, even though that’s kinda homosexual, but shitting on her for having a great shitter that happens to go everywhere she goes, because if it didn’t, that would be weird. Girl surfers, no matter how good they are, are second rate to the men. Their prize money is shit, they need to work their asses off for sponsors who pay them whatever is left from their budget that isn’t spent on dudes, and their entire existence and ability to surf full-time depends on being spokesmodels to their brands…All surfers do this…. So the reality is, this Anastasia angel sent from heaven to ruin my life bitch can surf, she wins, she’s insane, she’s got a bigger personality than the waves she kills herself on, she works hard on surfing daily, and her ass is just her fucking ass…but here she is being hated for what is probably the best video ever, but I may just be saying that cuz I am smitten with her. You see the industry treats these girls like models, people want these pictures and videos, their livelihood depends on it, but when they happen, everyone takes a “Higher than thou” stance, and hate on it, when really they are all the reason for it….and really what’s the big fucking deal…she’s in a fucking bathing suit surfing yo….chill the fuck out. I am glad this video happened, because it gives us all something to compare our wife’s shitty, lazy, boring asses to…it gives me hope of one day shoving my tongue up in this…. It’s not like she’s released a sex tape to get a reality show like Kim Kardashian and all the other fame whores…she’s a suffer and this is a surf video…It’s not like she posted this and emailed all the blogs asking for it to be posted…she’s just a fucking surfer and you’re all just a bunch of perverts for thinking it’s just a strategic gratuitous ass video…and even if it was…I’ll take two more… People just like to hate…and the only thing I hate is that Anastasia Ashley won’t be my Valentine for the rest of time…til death do us part….like we were Final Destionada…. All this to say, I wish I was her wet suit…just for a day…all covered in her pee…it would be magical…we’re all allowed to have dreams….
Candice Swanepoel posted this Victoria’s Secret fitness picture on her social media, and I totally approve of this type of behavior, even if it is being trickled down to us from an evil corporation, because sometimes evil corporations figure out just how easy it is to trick us into looking at pics of their products by sneaking them on babes and making them semi pornographic, at least to someone like me who loves booty in tight pants, because it is hot….and really to the right person, everything and anything can be pornographic…there are enough freaks out there to get off to the weirdest shit…that this is up on some real subtle goodness I would like to bury my face into…if only it didn’t taste like a computer screen….and whatever I spilled on it last night..
I know celebrities from all levels, some personally, some who have told me to fuck off and some who aren’t actual celebrities but rather fame whores with a lot of followers on their social media…I’m talking actors, singers, pornstars, athletes and I’m not bragging, they are all horrible people… I also know managers, agents, and publicists and PR people…again, not bragging they are horrible people… Based on my experience, there is no way this Hayden Panettiere, little person to the stars, is just casually eating Burger King fries…holding the box like a spokesmodel at a tradeshow…like she’s getting paid, because she is getting paid, nothing like this is free…because if it was free, she wouldn’t be giving them free press, but rather she’d order in, cuz no one wants anyone to know they eat Burger King…even at 4 am when drunk… I guess that makes her a little more of a whore than you probably originally thought, I mean what else will she do for money, she’s clearly shameless, let’s hope things that involved a sex tape…because I’d like to see that circus clown performance…more that I like watching her eat fries..
Izabel Goulart is the fittest model Victoria’s Secret failed on, and in a lot of ways I like that she got deported back to Brazil where she takes a lot of selfies of her working out, because I like seeing selfies of bitches working out, it’s better than me working out and it’s far better than me going to the gym to watch bitches working out, because any gym I’ve been to, the chicks working out are the ones who need to be working out and not the ones who already won from working out…if you know what I mean….and if you don’t just look at Izabel..cuz she’s won motherfucker….
This beach brawl video isn’t even that good, it’s just a ridiculous voice over edit that for some reason I thought was funny for the 10 seconds I watched it, a reason I call alcoholism and hatred for frat boy jock types who would find this funny, and the irony in this being one of their jokes and something you know they thought was genius while putting together, made me chuckle…or some shit… The good news is that here are some other videos…an unexpected accident… 21 People Light Themselves on Fire A Girl Vs a Vacuum Cleaner
I am a fan of XENIA DELI , even if I don’t really know anything about her, other than that her name is silly and reminds me of a vile meaty vagina sent from middle aged mom hell to make me question my sexuality one night when too drunk to say no to the frilled meaty discolored disgusting….because the pictures of her in this C-Heads shit, along with every other picture of her, make me realize I’d get down with this even if it had a dick…cuz sometimes there’s that grey area of tranny, where they look so good despite the dick, that you just have to close your eyes and go for it, not that Xenia Deli is a tranny, but if she was, I’d like her pictures just as much as I do right now…
Christie Brinkle at 59 represents all the good SI has done for the world, because there was a time before fame whores and low level models with huge Internet followings that backed the magazine into the corner feeling obligated to put them on the cover for a third time…despite the obvious glandular issues no one seems to notice but me… I mean historically, the Chrissy Teigens and Kate Upton and Nina Agdals were actual serious babes who we were excited to see in bikinis – not over exposed media machines who must works for free because SI is still a stamp of approval, especially for a Billabong spokesmodel turned gold digger…. Because there was a time when I could really embrace the model choices, from Elle Macpherson to Christie Brinkley to whoever the other busty and amazing bikini models they used were…and I guess seeing Christie Brinkley amazing at 60, even if she’s had some work done, reminds me that superhumans do exist and the team at SI found them… Which bring us hope for a better tomorrow, because they have done it before and I believe they can do it again… I mean I want Christie Brinkley in my mouth…She’s amazing and I can say with confidence, I rarely admit to wanting to bed seniors…if anything over 30 is too old for me….and SI is to thank for that…. Out with the new, in with the old…throwback memories of a better time! Here she is talking a just SI TO SEE SOME MORE PICS CLICK HERE
