I don’t normally pay attention to celebrity gossip, because I’m usually too busy napping on the couch, or doing literally anything else, but I’m pretty sure I heard that Miranda Kerr ‘ s officially a free agent again. Which means now there’s no excuse for why we can’t be together. You know, other than the fact that she doesn’t know who I am, and probably doesn’t date bloggers who live in their mom’s basement. Still, I’m gonna focus on the positives here, and take this cover shoot for Self Magazine for what it is: a sign that maybe she’s lowered her standards. So you guys enjoy the pictures, while I go tell my mom she’s got to move out.
Jessica Simpson is a natural beauty. As is her son Ace, who she posted photos of online this weekend. Check out both of these cuties with no makeup!! Ace Knute, if you haven’t guessed, just turned three. Months. Between the adorable newborn youngster and his precious 17-month-old sis Maxwell, Jessica Simpson certainly has her hands full these days. Much like fiance Eric Johnson does, in a different sense. The 33-year-old recently hinted that while momming is a blast, she’s ready to get back to her first passion: Singing! She tweeted, “I need to make music.” The last album she released was a 2010 holiday effort. From 1999-06 she released five pop records, and in 2008, crossed over to country with Do You Know . Sony Nashville dropped Jess in 2009 after that. She peaked with 2003’s In This Skin , but also has tried her hand at acting and designing (her Jessica Simpson Collection is very successful). And getting pregnant, of course. Counting down to #3 …
Sorry, North West . But the best day your mother can imagine does not involve sitting at home and cuddling up to you on the couch. Instead, Kim Kardashian has posted a new video to Keek in which she sits in the backseat of her car and takes pleasure in the fact that photographers are all around the vehicle… but apparently have no idea she’s inside! Watch Kim now as she labels this experience part of “the best day ever.” She really should set her standards higher, don’t you think? Kim Kardashian: The Best Day Ever! Kardashian is officially back in the public eye now. She even showed off a second North West photo to the world late last week. The kid is a looker.
Claudia Jordan gets oiled up and lets it all hang out on the beach in MIA Claudia Jordan Does Swimsuit Photo Shoot On The Beach Former model turned Hollyweird actress and “Tiny Tonight” talk show co-host Claudia Jordan has still got the goods and is not afraid to show them off. Claudia recently hit up Miami Beach to do a swimsuit photo shoot where she put her oiled up cakes in blizzy blast for 2 different swimsuit looks. She certainly has a lot of competition what with all of the other bangin’ bawwdied celebrity 40-somethings like Lisa Raye, Naomi Campbell, Halle Berry, J.Lo and Nicole Murphy to name a few, but we think she’s doing a pretty good job of holding her own. What say you, Bossip fam? Is Claudia still a certified banger? WENN
Dear Bossip , I never thought I’d be one day writing to you, but, alas! I met this charming tall black man six weeks ago after being single for four years. We went out on our first date and I knew then he was trouble. At the time, I was packing to start my doctorate degree 1000km away, so I figured it wouldn’t go anywhere. He kept on calling and texting throughout the day, each day and I started to warm up to him. He came to visit me last weekend and I had the time of my life. The sex was out of this world! Best I ever had. Now, here’s the problem, I have a couple of issues with him: 1. He has 5 kids. I kid you not! He has 5 baby mamas, which is drama times 5. I’ve always chose not to date anyone with kids, well, at least one if I’m relaxing my standards. But 5? Who has 5 kids by age 35 in this day and age? I don’t think I wanna deal with that. 2. His lifestyle. He’s into the hottest parties, the most expensive booze. 3. I’m not sure if he can be faithful. My intuition tells me I’m not the only one, but of course he would never admit it. 4. He’s not a Christian. I want a man who has a relationship with God. 5. He drinks too much. I like this man, he makes me laugh, and he’s very affectionate. I’ve never been happier, but I can’t fully relax because he breaks all the rules. My friends have said over time that my standards are too high that’s why I’ll always be single. I don’t mind being single by the way. Am I relaxing my standards too much for this man or should I stick to my list? – Happy and Confused Dear Ms. Happy and Confused , Here we go with another damn grown a** woman with education smarts, but no damn common sense! SMDH! Why oh why do you supposedly smart, educated, intelligent women continue to write these no-brainer letters about no good trifling men and pursuing relationships with them? Why? Please explain to me the logic in this! UGH!! Every time I see these letters I just shake my head and scream. I truly wish I could reach the damn screen and smack the –ish out of y’all! But, since I can’t reach the screen, I’m going to ask you to politely reach up and smack yourself and knock your wig lop-sided. Ma’am, what doctoral program are you in? Are you sure it’s a real university or college? You must be getting your doctorate in dumba** simpleness. Why would you compromise your standards over a man who is 35-years old, and he has five kids with five different women? What logical sense does it make to be in a relationship with this man, or attempt to be in a relationship with him? And, ma’am, think about his carefully and understand that you are in school pursuing your doctorate. With that, his partying, drinking, and procreating with different women leaves me to deduce that he ain’t –ish, ain’t doing –ish, and ain’t about –ish! Please wake your a** up and be real about this situation and what the real possibilities are about this. I’m sure you don’t want to be baby momma number six, so, please leave this man alone, focus on your studies, and be about your business. He is only interested in screwing you, literally and figuratively. He is not serious about a relationship because if he was then he would be with one of his five baby mommas. And, hell to the naw, he is not ever going to be serious about you. He’s a philandering male whore. And, if you keep spreading your legs for him then I’m confident that you will be baby momma number six, and then I’ll be getting another letter from you and why he won’t commit to you, and he keeps making promises but not following through, and you keep finding out he is cheating. Girl, grow up and be a woman and give that man several seats out of your life. And, if you have standards and morals, then why are you compromising? There are five things you’ve listed that do not fit your criteria. HELLO! What the hell are you contemplating? Why compromise? Just because your friends tell you that your standards are too high, so you’re going to listen to them? Then I tell you what, tell them to date him. The hell!! Ask them if they would date him and pursue a relationship with him. I bet none of them would. What kind of friends you got? Get rid of ‘em if they are telling you to date that man. And, so what he makes you happy. Ma’am, it’s temporary and fleeting happiness. He is telling you what you want to hear, and giving you good sex. Stop confusing this with love and like. The only thing you like is that he is giving you good d**k, making your body feel good, and telling you things that sounds good for now. Start using your qualitative and quantitative reasoning and be honest with yourself. This man is not good for you. How the hell can he be a serious candidate for a relationship and he has five children with five different women? This means he is paying child support, if he is paying child support, to five different women. Where is he getting money from to travel to see you, and hang out with you? This will all come to an end real quick. Trust! And, if he spending all this time with you, and traveling to see you, then how is he spending any quality time with his children? Will you please think damnit! But, again, this is what happens once a woman gets some good d**k after she’s been single for a while. He bangs you out, have you doing tricks, and contorting your body all over the bed, floor, counter, and walls, and you lose your damn mind. Sigh! It’s so sad that the FDA will not put d**k on its list of dangerous drugs. Ladies, here’s the warning label: Getting good d**k will cause serious side effects. You will have lingering moments of relapse and your body will jerk, and convulse at odd times just by thinking of it. Your cooch will twitch, pulsate, and throb from the after affects. You will find yourself daydreaming, feigning, itching, scratching, and your body will have withdrawals. Your thoughts and common sense will be convoluted. Your judgment will become cloudy and you won’t be able to rationalize every day simple things and tasks. You will find yourself stalking his Facebook, Twitter, Instagram pages. You will call him insistently, checking on him and his whereabouts. You will do drive-bys of his home, job, or other whereabouts to make sure he is there. You’ll even compromise your own body, and stop using condoms because he tells you that he doesn’t like how they feel, and he will put out. In the end, he is not good for you. He’s not what you want, doesn’t fit your criteria, and will never be the man for you. So, don’t settle. He is simply out to make you baby momma number six. And, if you want to be in that number, then knock yourself out, boo. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Lady Gaga covers V Magazine this month. Four times over. Once again, the pop great is up to her famed chameleon tricks, donning a variety of outrageous clothing choices and hairstyles for all four covers. Take a look at the quartet of Gaga images below … Whether she’s a brunette or a blonde, nearly topless or fully clothed, rocking an iridescent plastic jacket or see-through jacket, Gaga is back in full force. Although all four covers depict her in see-through clothing to a degree, it’s the Lady Gaga topless photos inside the issue that are truly eyebrow-raising. She bares all, many times over, in both frontal and side shots that are racy, even by her standards, and have some fans wondering if she’s too skinny. Check those out after the jump and see for yourself: Whatever you think of her, she’s comfortable with her body. All part of the game for the 27-year-old, who just dropped her first single, ” Applause ,” from her forthcoming album ARTPOP , due out this November. What do you think? Is Lady Gaga too thin? No, she looks amazing! Shut up, haters! Yes … she’s not looking healthy at all! View Poll »
This Isabella Lindblom bitch has been modeling for a long fucking time, like so many hundreds or thousands of decent looking girls who are 5 foot 7 or taller, who think they have some sort of edge that the fashion industry will pick up on, as they do low level shoots for free for anyone willing to take a pic of them, in hopes of it opening some doors, you know build that portfolio to a place where people will actually pay them, so they can live the good glam life of getting paid millions to pose in shitty sweatshop made clothes…you know livin’ the fucking dream cuz they are tall and skinny and can… Well, I guess she’s still not household, so she’s still out there showing her nipple hoping to get noticed, and being the good guy I am, I figure I’d notice, cuz nipples are fun…especially when they come with such desperation.
I have a crush on this model. Her name is Magdalena Frackowiak , and she’s got a pretty fucking legendary body. She’s one of the vaginas that the evil people at Victoria’s Secret are dabbling with to see if they will use her as part of their first string team, you know she’s young now, and they need to put her the ringer to see if she’s up to their standards of selling her fucking soul to them, or more importantly, that she’s got marketability that will make making her famous worth their time. I prefer when SHE POSES NUDE But this awesome booty shot for some company works for me, I’m easy to please like that.
Kim Kardashian has taken a pathetic page from Kris Jenner. A few weeks after Jenner teased her talk show premiere with a supposed North West photo , Kim took to Facebook this week and posted a shot of herself, Kourtney Kardashian and a baby, with the caption: Love these precious moments… This is not daughter North West she’s looking at, of course. It is a picture of nephew Mason Dash from a few years ago. And it seems like even the most ardent Kim Kardashian supporters are growing sick of the fake-outs and misleading images/information. Wrote one follower: “Enough kim !! We already know this is not ur baby north west !! … U want millions of dollars just to see ur baby ? C’mom … Ur baby worth that money? Cuz i dont think so !!!” Really. We couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Kim fan. Take all the time and privacy you want, Kim. But don’t toy with the emotions of those who follow your every move, Tweet and Facebook posting in this manner. Seriously. This is getting ridiculous even by your standards.
