Tag Archives: Strippers

Top 10 Strippers Who Don’t Strip Nude

If a stripper doesn’t strip, can you still call her a stripper? It’s a question for the ages. And although we at Mr. Skin don’t approve of non-nude dancers, we do have a certain appreciation for them–after all, it could be the first step to peeling down for real? So even though some actresses have played strippers and accidently popped a nip or lip, like Lindsay Lohan and Natalie Portman , they still made our list of the top 10 strippers who don’t strip nude because the intention wasn’t there. Take it all off!

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Top 10 Strippers Who Don’t Strip Nude

Oscar Nudity: Actresses Dig for Oscar Gold Playing Strippers and Hookers [PICS]

Though he is considerably less bald and golden, Mr. Skin has at least one thing in common with Mr. Oscar: an abiding love of onscreen ladies of the night. Common sense in Tinseltown states that if an actress wants the gods of the Academy to smile upon her, she should play a stripper, a hooker, or a nun. We here at Skin Central are biased towards the strippers and the hookers ( though nuns aren’t always so bad ), so we’re turning on the red light for this skinspiratonal sampling of actresses who’ve gone from walking the streets to walking the red carpet. Perhaps the most famous cinema call girl is Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (1990) . Julia charmed the Academy into a Best Actress nom after charming Richard Gere out of his pants as the ultimate hooker with a heart of gold. Body double Shelly Michelle serves most of the skin in this flick, but in one scene Jules lets a definite nip slip while rolling in the sack. Elisabeth Shue also works hard for her money- hard enough to win an Oscar for her performance as a streetwalker in Leaving Las Vegas (1996) . The scene where she pours Nicholas Cage a tequila body shot in the desert sun still has Mr. Skin all hot and bothered. Way back in her Hanoi Jane days, Jane Fonda got liberated as a happy hooker in Klute (1971) – and got a little gold man for her trouble. Most of Jane’s nudity in the film is woefully under-lit, but her nice perky lil’ right nip pops up in this well-lit scene. More recently, Marisa Tomei took off her top to pay the bills in The Wrestler (2008) . Mr. Skin thought that Marissa’s hooters were rays of sunshine in the otherwise relentlessly downbeat film, and the Academy must have agreed, since they rewarded her with an Oscar nom. Grab a handful of sweaty bills, because we’ve barely stroked the tip of the nude iceberg of skinema sex work , and Mr. Skin is gonna make it rain! Stay tuned for more Academy-Award winning nudity all this week on the Mr. Skin blog !

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Oscar Nudity: Actresses Dig for Oscar Gold Playing Strippers and Hookers [PICS]

Christina Aguilera is Some Kind of Weirdness of the Day

I don’t get what’s going on with Christina Aguilera, I just know that it’s fucking weird. There is absolutely nothing attractive about her. Pretty much all of her is shit. From her fucked uo looking face that may or may not have been accidented, to her sloppy, thick, fat girl body, it’s just a fucking mess on some retired stripper recovering from a meth addiction by replacing it with a donut addiction picking up her half black kid at school look and I am really not into it….I like my strippers young and fresh faces just doing it to get by who are dabbling with E and Speed but haven’t yet gone meth deep….. I don’t get why she’s not showing off her fake tits at the Burlesque bottom feeding to get attention for their shitty movie tour, cuz at least when she does that like she was Katy Perry I can distract myself from everything horrible about her that I just can’t ignore when her tits are being neglected…not that you care….you’d fuck anything…so here she is lookin’ like shit.

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Christina Aguilera is Some Kind of Weirdness of the Day

Karolin Wolter for Twin Shows Tits for Fashion of the Day

I don’t know who this model is. I just know that I spend a good part of my day trying to get girls topless and for some reason they never fucking do it. I add girls to facebook and try to seduce with my seduction technique of telling them to crop out their face so their pussy becomes every other pussy…lost in the sea of pussy so they have nothing to worry about, but even those tender words don’t inspire, forcing me to go to the strippers where bitches get naked cuz they are getting paid to show their tits. Something everyday girls think is so fucking wrong and think they are too wholesome, with too strong of morals to do, until they start getting offered money to show their tits in a different setting, whether in movies or TV or modeling…proving that all girls are fucking hookers and strippers and as long as they smell money….they’re down…some girls just need to be massaged a little more than others by telling them it’s for art and not to get ppl off…but really showing your tits is showing your fucking tits….so girls stop pretending you’re too good to get topless for me and just fucking do it already…I’m not paying but it’s for my own kind of art I call masturbating. Thanks in advance. It’s like bitches are all wholesome and shit…

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Karolin Wolter for Twin Shows Tits for Fashion of the Day

Jennifer Love Hewitt Ruins Fantasy Costumes

I get that the whole catholic schoolgirl look is supposed to be pretty sexy, but in this situation it’s just not working. Here’s Jennifer Love Hewitt looking like a forty year old woman in an inappropriate halloween costume. Not only that, she’s also wearing a nurses outfit, come on!. How did she somehow managed to ruin two pretty basic slut costumes? These kind of things are best left to the experts… Strippers and pornstars.

Shauna Sand Doin’ Her Thing, Whatever That May Be of the Day

If you have seen the Shauna Sand Exposed Sex Tape , then you are probably feeling as sorry for the one piece bathing suit she got on discount at the sex shop all the strippers shop at cuz she thinks that trash is sexy even though it’s not…cuz the shit has to rub up against her vile dead lookin’ cunt. I don’t know what’s going on with her, but I know I definitely don’t like it, but I guess it’s kinda funny that she does all this trying to be hot, cuz in her distorted mind, this represents havin’ it goin’ on…. Pics via Fame

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Shauna Sand Doin’ Her Thing, Whatever That May Be of the Day

Some Model Named Jacinta’s Tits of the Day

If I had money, I would not sleep with street whores anymore, and I would not graduate to sleeping with high class escorts….cuz they just charge too much, think they are worth too much, and really they are just as fucking trashy and worthless that make me feel cheap cuz as soon as I cum, they run….I would not go to the strippers anymore, not even the ones with the hottest girls that charge 20 dollars a lap dance per song cuz strippers are fucking whores who don’t have fucking souls…I would however contact modeling agencies and get their menu of pussy willing to do a shoot and what they charge per day. I’d see their top models and work my way down to the more affordable up and coming girls willing to do a shoot for their portfolio. I’d warn them that there will be some nudity and pretend it is for some high fashion bullshit…cuz people love high fashion bullshit and pussy that normally wouldn’t get naked for you…all of a sudden does cuz they think it is their job…and really it is a lot more satisfying than dealing with unambitious, lazy hooker ass, cuz a naked model is a driven model….and here is one I’ve never heard of named Jacinta showing off her tight model less damaged than a hooker or stripper body…

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Some Model Named Jacinta’s Tits of the Day

Conservative Pundit Canned for ‘Waterloo’ Remarks [Firings]

On Monday, David ‘Axis of Evil’ Frum compared the GOP’s health care defeat to Napoleon’s Waterloo , and chastised Rush Limbaugh . On Thursday he was booted from his right-wing think tank fellowship. We have some ideas for your next move, Dave! Sure, the American Enterprise Institute kicked you to the curb for being a turncoat and you’re probably feeling blue, but they’re a bunch of pussies anyway. A little shake-up could do them some good. In honor of your new found freedom, here are a handful of things you could do to get back on top where you belong. • Write a tell-all. OK, so you wrote a book about GW Bush called The Right Man , but everyone knows that was a bunch of ass-kissy bullshit. It’s time to really tell it all. You can start with something like this: Yeah, George W. Bush was an illiterate moron, so I plugged the ‘Axis of Evil’ thing into his State of the Union address to really set things off around the world. There, I said it. And did I mention that Rush Limbaugh is a dickhead? Now get off my nuts. • Fight Rush. Yeah, he’s big and angry and probably loaded on all sorts of nice drugs, but you can take him, Dave! You did once call him ” the stereotype of self-indulgence ,” so it’s time to finish what you started. And just think of the publicity. • Make friends with North Korea’s Kim Jong-Il . Nothing would say “fuck you” to the GOP like pulling a Jimmy Carter and getting down with a regime you once labeled a part of the Axis of Evil. Kim has expensive taste in scotch and likes strippers . You really can’t lose here, Dave. • Start a charity. What better way to show you really do have a heart and don’t mind all of the talk about you being a warmonger than running a nice little NGO? Start with something simple, like an orphanage in Iraq, maybe? You figure that one out. So there you go, Mr. Frum. Sadly, it’s hard to imagine any of these things coming true. A good guess would put you in line for, say, a guest blogger spot at The Huffington Post ? But don’t say you weren’t advised! [ Image via Getty ]

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Conservative Pundit Canned for ‘Waterloo’ Remarks [Firings]

Hollywood Tuna’s AmaTuna Moment – Bikini Model Showdown

Here’s another bikini contest with some sweet looking young ladies. I’m really beginning to miss the summer. Sure I don’t live anywhere near a beach but there’s one hotel that has a rooftop pool/bar where all the strippers hang out during the day to work on their tans while I work on my muscles. And by muscles I mean forearms. The ladies find that very attractive. *Submit sexy, funny, interesting videos here Bikini Model Showdown Video More AmaTuna

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Hollywood Tuna’s AmaTuna Moment – Bikini Model Showdown

Which of These Six YouTube Memes Speaks to the Darkness of Your Soul?

NYT Magazine recently probed the psyche of YouTube’s falling figure skater meme, and a commenter pointed us to hobby animators’ CGI snuff films . Among a cornucopia of cyber-Schadenfreude, which describes your innermost desires, fears, or fetishes? Let us analyze. Warning: Some of these videos are NSFLunchBreak. There is also a chance that none will appeal to you, in which case your soul is as clean enough to eat off. To view all videos on a single page, click here . Figure Skater/Stripper/Gymnast Falls Why It’s Appealing: NYT Magazine ‘s Virginia Heffernan on the appeal figure skater falls : There is something ominous in the juxtaposition of vulnerable and underdressed women, melodramatic choreography involving moves called ‘death spirals’ and ‘death drops,’ sharp steel blades and skull-cracking ice. … In portentously played scenes of pairs skating, especially, men drop women in bone-splintering spills. The phenomenon may be extrapolated to stripper and gymnast falls . At the top of her game, each woman represents a distinct female sexual ideal: The figure skater is the fluttering picture of grace, the stripper is the porn-ified whore, and the gymnast is the puberty-retarded nymph. To witness her fall is to live out a humiliation/destruction fantasy for her archetype. Also, falling is funny. If You Can’t Look Away: Female sexuality troubles you—it may be a threat, a point of jealous insecurity, or a source of intimidation. Alternately, you are a butt bruise fetishist. How do you feel about your mother? When You Tire of This Try: Diving board mishaps . [ Vid via GawkerTV ] Athletes Breaking Bones Why It’s Appealing: Though this genre overlaps with the previous category, it is a more classic form of Schadenfreude. The shocking realization that someone could be so fast/strong/physically enabled as to damage themselves so severely is also awesome. (Compare the above to a mere mortal slipping on ice while toddling across the sidewalk. Bo-ring.) If You Can’t Look Away: Sports fans, those who enjoy Discovery Channel Medical Mysteries , those who fear pain and enjoy torturing themselves. When You Tire of This Try: Contortionists . Big, Splashy Zit-Popping Why It’s Appealing: Way back in 2008, Jezebel documented this phenom, and editor Anna Holmes wrote a column tying it to social grooming, sadomasochism, symbolic orgasms, and the desire to excise one’s ugliest parts. I’ll add the joy of reveling in one’s own filth, and the satisfaction of obliterating minor enemies. (Have you ever burned a canker sore out with a finger full of salt? Exactly.) If You Can’t Look Away: OCD perfectionists and body dysmorphics can exorcise their demons here. Those who enjoy corporeal disgust—especially if you have ties to a religion that preaches mortification of flesh—will find comfort. When You Tire of This Try: Contortionists . Building Collapses Why It’s Appealing: Loud crashing noises and the glorious destruction of large-scale symbols of human endeavor. When it’s a planned demolition, you don’t even have to feel guilty. If You Can’t Look Away: Civilization strikes you as fleeting. Entropy and destruction give you joy. You’re the kind of guy who always kicks down the sand castle (jerk) and Freud has something to say about your feelings for phalluses. When You Tire of This Try: Car crashes . CGI Suicide Snuff Films Why It’s Appealing: Animation hobbyists say they’re merely experimenting with CGI gore. Suicide is a pragmatic necessity—staging murder requires two people, which you may not have. The meme gets creepier, though, when you realize its practitioners are almost exclusively teen boys (a worrisome demographic for depression and gun violence) and the YouTube descriptions sometimes treat “My Suicide” like it’s real. The web’s memory of various real (and hoax ) webcam suicides amplifies the horror. This meme animates our worst fears for social media and internet exhibitionism. If You Can’t Look Away: Technology both fascinates and terrifies you. You may be a fan of dystopic science fiction. (Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake kind of predicted this.) Cyberbullying worries you. Alternately, you are an angsty teen. When You Tire of This Try: Hole in My Hand , a gentler CGI experiment in self-erasure. Hat-tip to commenter Samtagious . Enormous Animals Giving Birth Why It’s Appealing: Miracle of life + Majestic nature + Popping a zit + Cute baby aww . The above documentary depicts a Balinese elephant giving birth, then reviving the baby. If You Can’t Look Away: Your heart leaps up when you behold nature’s miracles. You have a high tolerance for gore, a deep love of baby animals, or both. Alternately, childbirth is a source of anxiety/fascination, and human ones are harder to find online. (But not impossible !) When You Tire of This Try: Animals humping weird things . Animal sex has always made me queasy. (Which is weird, because the elephant birth didn’t.) I’m told it’s funny, though.

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Which of These Six YouTube Memes Speaks to the Darkness of Your Soul?