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Alexis Ren Gets In The XMAS Bikini Spirit

As you guys probably know by now, Alexis Ren is the Hottest Woman on Instagram, but this latest GIF just clinches it. Forget pictures of perfectly-trimmed trees or artfully-placed lights and decorations, this is the best way to make a Christmas post for your fans: put on a bikini and a Santa hat and jump. Brilliant! I keep telling you guys she’s a pro.

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Alexis Ren Gets In The XMAS Bikini Spirit

Sofia Vergara’s Cleavage View

I know it’s been a while since I’ve done a post on  Sofia Vergara , but ever since Ariel Winter and Sarah Hyland discovered the career-boosting joys of InstaWh%ring, Sofia’s probably only the third-most famous hottie on Modern Family these days. Luckily, those giant funbags of hers never go out of style though, so I think Sofia’s due for a major comeback. Especially if she keeps putting out pictures like this. Fingers crossed.

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Sofia Vergara’s Cleavage View

Bella Hadid’s B%tch Face For LOVE Advent

Here’s Bella Hadid showing off her signature resting b%tch face for that LOVE Advent video series — I guess they must have run out of real supermodels, and we’re only on Day 18. Anyway, if you’ve got a thing for watching a fake wannabe model pout as she hits a tire with a sledgehammer in lingerie, good news, you’re in luck. Enjoy. » view all 14 photos

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Bella Hadid’s B%tch Face For LOVE Advent

Heather Graham Is Still Looking Good

I can’t remember the last time I did a post on  Heather Graham (and I’m way too lazy to bother looking it up), but I know her and her funbags are getting up there in years, which means she’s probably too old to use Snapchat. But she showed up in this shoot for Lefair Magazine , whatever the hell that is, and me and the Little Tuna sure are glad to see her again. Anyway, here’s hoping she makes their cover every month from now on, because I could get used to this.

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Heather Graham Is Still Looking Good

Bella Thorne Teases!

I’m having a little problem here — I’m starting to run out of ways to say how hot Bella Thorne is, but I don’t want to stop posting the hot pictures she puts up pretty much 24/7/365. So today, I think I’m just going to let these speak for themselves. You know how people say pictures are worth a thousand words? Well, I’m pretty sure these ones are worth a few thousand pants fires. Enjoy.

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Bella Thorne Teases!

Emma Roberts Teases

I don’t know what happened to Emma Roberts . For a while, she was everywhere, but then the hot nobody industry shifted from telling the paps when you were going to be hitting the gym in short shorts to posting hot selfies on social media and my favorite pasty hottie got left behind. Anyway, the good news is, judging from these latest pics, it looks Emma finally got with the program. And she even went to the beach to get some sun on that pasty body of hers. I can barely believe it. Here’s hoping she wore SPF 500.

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Emma Roberts Teases

Kara Del Toro And Her Hot Friends

Because the only thing better than one hot model in a bikini is a whole bunch of them, here’s one of my favorite five-alarm pants fires Kara Del Toro and her co-workers showing off their perfect bikini bodies on the beach. I’m not sure who everyone else is, and I bet I’d recognize one or two of these hotties from Instagram, but I’m too lazy to look it up. And besides, nothing puts out a pants fire faster than having to do actual research. So let’s all just enjoy this perfect sight instead.

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Kara Del Toro And Her Hot Friends

Jasmine Sanders Will Make You Sweat

Here’s German model/hottie  Jasmine Sanders doing an ab workout for LOVE’s Day 14 Advent video, and I just hope Hailey Baldwin is paying attention . Because now  this is how a real model makes a sexy workout video. I’m not sure how useful it is as a workout though. I tried exercising along with it, and my abs are fine, but my wrists are burning. Yow! » view all 14 photos

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Jasmine Sanders Will Make You Sweat

Sarah Hyland Is A Topless Tease

I’m glad to see  Sarah Hyland is finally starting to master the fine art of Instagram “modeling” — AKA posting topless pictures and gym shots every chance you get. I just wish she hadn’t waited so long. Her Modern Family co-star Ariel Winter has already been doing this for years, which means Sarah’s got a lot of catching up to do. I figure 2-3 topless selfies a day for the next 6 months ought to do it. Better get back to work.

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Sarah Hyland Is A Topless Tease

Rachel Cook Is Bikini Perfection

I keep forgetting that  Rachel Cook is just a professional Instagram model with a huge following, and not a Victoria’s Secret hottie. Which is just crazy to me. I don’t get how the Jenners and Hadid sisters can get hired for those gigs, and a total smokeshow like Rachel can’t. It’s everything that’s wrong with the modeling business these days. » view all 13 photos

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Rachel Cook Is Bikini Perfection