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A twelve mile organic gelatinous blob attacked the coast of Alaska this week, devouring wildlife and messing up shorelines, in what some people believe was an attack formulated to hit while the Alaskan defense system is weak. Alaska Governor and former Vice Presidential Contender Sarah Palin recently announced that she would be resigning from her post as governor, and turning over the position to Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell, according to cnn.com. Without Palin’s intimidating defense strategies, the state of Alaska is left wide open to attacks from sea monsters. “We just have been watching what is going on with, like the pipeline, and now the logging stuff , and we thought we would pre-emptively strike to defend ourselves,” said Neptune, god of the ocean. If overfishing and pollution don’t decrease in the next year, and if Alaska doesn’t provide a detailed plan to improve marine life, Neptune says they may have to release the Kraken.

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Alaska Defends Itself