It’s not gay if he used to be a she… These nipples were once capable of lactating…I’m talking feed an african village…before being tampered with. But it is fucking weird.
Yesterday, I met a man who told me how beautiful he found Kate Upton. I was reminded that not everyone is a hater of fat chicks like me, and that they can take in a huge set of fat chick titties with open arms, because sometimes titties are so great, that you don’t need to to acknowledge the dumpy ass, the gunt, the weird wide hips, or the retard glaze in her eye…. But for some reason, a reason I call, this bitch is not in front of me offering to feed me with her sloppy tits, allowing me to take a step back and judge her on every inch of her body, when I look at her, all I see is a pile of fucking overrated shit, and even her massive tits, that would be fun to play with, don’t have the power to support themselves in a way that makes them look good…but I guess her bikini does…and that’s kinda her move…and that’s what she’s doing in these pics and ultimately, I’m still a dude, and totally down to stare at it..
Melody Thornton is some former Pussycat Doll, who didn’t make enough money as a Pussycat Doll to get her teeth fixed, but who was able to avoid a career as a stripper, like all the Pussycat Dolls…. You may remember her as the one who CRIED FOR ATTENTION IN ONE OF THE MOST SEE THROUGH SHIRTS OF ALL TIME … But now, I am forced to remember her as the only slut in a white bikini, that isn’t see through when wet, when that is the whole basis and found ate of a white fucking bikini, my god….Melody Thorton what are you doing with your life, where did it all go wrong, more importantly, where are the fucking nipples bitch… For those of you who don’t know, I am very passionate about white bikinis, I am a firm believer that they are sent here from Heaven to share the woman form without the woman really knowing, and I’ve been on the front lines of this war, at public pools, where so many labia have passed me by and offered me something to masturbate to…all thanks to my friend the white bikini…a friend no more thanks to this nobody…funkiller, ruining it for everyone…. To See the Rest of the Pics – FOLLOW THIS LINK
This is must be a joke, a well executed joke, that needs to go Viral…I mean it is the best thing on the internet today…the dude went to the trouble of buying himself a doll from the internet to make this happen..that is commitment to the cause…maybe even too much commitment to the cause…making the staged just as fucking creepy and that in itself got a lot of LOLZ from me… This is the internet, and there is always that possibility that it’s not staged…which makes it even better….Enjoy…
Paula Labaredas told me off on Twitter the other day…which prompted me to google Paula Labaredas to try and figure out why I was being told off…sure I called her a worthless cunt first, but that doesn’t mean I actually knew she was a worthless cunt, it just means her Twitter got hacked, as she spammed me and I reacted appropriately.. Well it turns out that she’s pretty much a nobody, she’s old as fuck, yet she poses half naked with her big ass like a hooker, because she’s trying to get famous. She’s not American, yet she is milking America, in an American themed shoot a week late, because it will trick American men into jerking off to her and helping her increase her low as fuck level of celebrity. I mean unless you consider being cast as “The Stripper” in a movie called “The Turn”…is high as fuck level of celebrity…I mean she probably deserves an Oscar for her performance, but that’s only because the Oscars are staged shit that celebrate talentless puppets every year…. But maybe her ass deserves an award too…if you consider being masturbated to by creeps everywhere an accomplishment, and I am going to assume she does…
I think a 3:30 minute intro for a couple of slutty Disney sisters, who are known for their implants and not so much for for their music career. You know the jailbait dad’s masturbate to because their kids make them watch their garbage shows and they aren’t all that bad looking…and because their inevitable meltdown when they realize they were robbed of a childhood means good times to come… But it seems that AJ and Aly Michalka’s meltdown is making shitty music that is up on some hipster, Coachella, Americana vibe, when really it should be them in bikinis eating out each other’s asses out…because that’s what sisters we want to fuck are supposed to do..especially when they were once famous… I guess their career has consistently been about them doing what they want, rather than what the people want, because their music career has existed, as a sisterly duo, since 2004… Either way, I didn’t watch the shit, but for some reason I am posting it… If you’re more interested in seeing pics of them at an event yesterday FOLLOW THIS LINK
OMG – I fucking love lingerie catalog pics… I mean even in the 80s when all I had to jerk off to was lingerie catalog pics I hated the shit… Back then, they didn’t photoshop the shit, and bikini waxes were less intense and common, so you could see always little nipple discoloration and panty pillow, making it semi erotic…at least compared to the shitty porn you barely had access to and music videos you needed cable to jerk off to…and national geographic that was just far too tribal to really be all that erotic…but that still had some nipple that was good enough in your time of need..but you knew there had to be more out there you know that one day a hub like the internet would come along and allow you access to all your deepest fetishes…from throat fucking to fat chicks shitting on each other…making the Lingerie catalog pic almost obsolete…until one day, 20 years in, you realize, shit…I don’t like all that hardcore shit all that much anymore, it’s kinda vile and the girls are disgusting, I wanna go back to a simpler time…a time where half naked was all you had, when all you wanted hardcore…but now hardcore is all we have, and half naked is all I want, and readily available… Her name is Shanina Shaik and I am committed to her half nakedness..
Helena Christensen is the only thing that matters… She’s like 100 fucking years old…seriously…old enough to have been at Woodstock…yet so fucking amazing to look at…it confuses me…but not too much because her body warrants me wanting to make love to it with my mouth…over and over and over again…until she gets waterlogged and starts to look her fucking age… This is a good kind of freak of nature…you know like the girl who can’t get pregnant, or the one with two vaginas, or the siamese twins who always have threesomes, even if it’s really just a two-and-a-half some thanks to the two heads, two pussies but only one heart…. None of which has anything to do with Helena Christensen, if anything it’s just noise getting in the way of my true love for her…love that I should try to channel into songs…even though I can’t sing…I’d learn for her…#fact.
I have a stepCHARITY request from friend of the site Jennifer….regarding her neighbor’s injured dog. If you know anything about this site, I love dogs and I do whatever I can to help them. Sure pugs are my dog of choice, but I don’t discriminate. Here’s Princess’ Story: Princess was left outside during the July 4th fireworks while her owners went out. When they came home, she had jumped a 7ft fence in fear from the noise. She was found days later, 5 miles away. While crossing a highway, she was hit by a car. She survived, but her leg is shattered and she will need an amputation. Her owners do not want to spend any money on her so decided instead that they would euthanize her. Jennifer, the hero in this story, who during the days Princess went missing, spent hours and hours looking for her. Posting missing posters everywhere, while Princess’ owners weren’t doing anything, is doing everything in her power to save Princess’ life. Princess is not even her dog, but she does not want tolet this happen to an otherwise perfectly healthy dog! So has already found a foster home for Princess and is now trying to raise the money needed for the surgery which will cost over $ 1,000. Unfortunately, Jennifer, the hero, can’t cover the costs alone, but she’s already done so much to help Princess, that I think we should help her in her quest. So please, if you have even a few bucks to spare in your PayPal account, any donation amount would be greatly appreciated! The paypal email address is wolfe@tamanagement.com or you can just CLICK HERE UPDATE: The good news is, it isn’t too late to fix her leg, since her bone was shattered where our shins are, the surgeon would have to remove the smaller fragments of bone but he believes the bigger ones can and will be tied back together by wire. The metal plate would reinforce all of it. Bionic puppy! The bad news, the surgery would cost 3500$ This surgery needs to happen NOW, before her bones start fusing back together. If thats becomes the case, the surgeon would have to break her leg again and there would be a strong possibility her bone wouldnt heal as well So basically, Jennifer is trying her hardest to save a beautiful dog with shitty parents, and I firmly believe that we can all come together on this one and give Princess a new life, a better life, with people who will take care of her the way she needs to be taken care of. It means a lot to me, and to Jennifer, and most importantly to Princess. So if you can help CLICK HERE and give what you can. If we raise more than the 1,000 dollars for Princess, Jennifer has agreed to donate it to the Montreal SPCA, which is one of DrunkenStepfather.com’s charities…so no matter what your money is going to a good place. Help save Princess. Do your part. You are a hero…and remember telling a girl how you helped save a dog will probably get you anal….or maybe even on the first date…so do it up… You can Donate to me – and I’ll send it off to her…if clicking Donate Buttons are Easier for you… FOR UPDATES CLICK THE FACEBOOK PAGE ….
Rosie Jones and Sabine Jemeljanova are topless models, who I guess are getting too famous for their own good, because their topless modelling is still topless, but more strategic and without nipples, like they were Angelina Jolie. It is like the Safe For Work, candy-coated topless that isn’t even topless even though it is topless, that is normally reserved for girls who don’t get topless, but instead is being used with topless models who only exist from being topless. The whole thing feels like a spit in the face, like when you friend a stripper, who refuses to strip for you when you’re hanging out, even though that is her job, acting like it is above her, even though she’s a fucking stripper… Either way, whatever this is Page 3, it is a fail….
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