Wanna know how Blake Lively got that bruise on her calf? Getting fucked. By Leonardo DiCaprio, when he found out she leaked nude pics to the world in some kind of publicity stunt she hopes lands her a reality show like she was a Kardashian, and he felt the need to treat her like the little whore she is, cuz little whores are bad girls and there’s only one way to teach them anything, and that’s with your dick…or maybe she bumped into a coffee table, but I don’t see any fun in that…
I guess when the pressure of being on the worst show on TV lifted, but more importantly when the realization that she’d never be accepted as a celebrity….she was legitimately just 5 minutes of MTV backstory to make Spencer Pratt, someone else you’ve probably forgotten, seem more three dimensional….bitch turned to eating. Her body once LOOKED LIKE THIS IN A BIKINI , and not the sloppy unfortunate mess you see today… It’s one of those cameras are finally off and I can eat that extra piece of cake, fuck it, give me the entire fucking cake situations….all that stress and feelings of inadequacies disappear in those 3 minutes of pleasure you get when you’re jacked up on butter…. Who really cares, fat,sloppy or not, she still is a fucking cancer on our lives….send her back to the obscurity she’s been living in so nicely the last couple of years…. To See the Rest of the Pictures FOLLOW THIS LINK
I know Vanessa Hudgens so well, that her lawyer actually emails me. Sure. It was in the form of threatening letters that if I don’t remove her nude pics, even though they were censored nude pics, that he’d get me charged for kiddie porn, depsite the fact that Vanessa Hudgens was clearly the Kiddie Porn producer, and even owned the copyright on said kiddie porn… So me and Vanessa have a real solid bond, one where she probably doesn’t know I exist, but where I know what her alleged 17 year old, hungry for attention, unshaved box looks like, even though, I’m pretty sure she was 18 in the pics, and the whole leaking of them was some kind of publicity stunt, as it always is. Either way, I guess I’m a fan, mainly because any bitch willing to put her naked body out there, even though nudity isn’t a big deal, is a bitch I respect because it is my life goal to see every woman in the world naked, sure I’ll come short, but at least I know I’m gonna die trying.. She is the face of Candies, she got in her underwear, this time cuz it was paying and not for fun, and the whole thing is not very hot, unless of course you think Vanessa Hudgens and her chipmunk face is, in which case, you’ll be down.
Both of these bitches might as well have AIDS, cuz I already have decided that they both have rank pussies the average person may not want anything to do with…. Now, I’m not the average person and I am sure that I have had sex with HIV positive girls more than once, but that’s only because I congregate with the discount street whores and you kinda get what you pay for…but for the sake of argument, I’m just gonna point and laugh with the mainstream in a collective “ewww” as if I wouldn’t bury my face inside either of these vaginas….cuz that’s the power of the internet or some shit, I can pretend I’m whoever I want to be, like someone who would never pick the scabs off either of these cunts, even though I would, because my love for pussy outweighs my hatred of bad music, murdering wives, and fake hipsters who have weird bulges in their “underwear as outerwear” milking the system cuz they were BFF with Katy Perry before she fucked a celebrity and got a record deal. If you know what I mean… Courtney Love….. Bulge in Her Underwear as Outerwear Kesha
So I guess the best diet plan is having your brother-in-law kill off your entire family in some psycho fit of rage…try making an informercial DVD for that…. Sure it’s not as convenient as getting a gym membership, or a nutritionist, a drug habbit, or even to just stop fucking eating, unless it was chocolate flavored laxatives, like you were a teenage girl a month before prom… Cuz this is what Bitch Looked Like on the Beach before that gutter shit went down…. Look at her now…..and even if she’s doing the “look as skinny as you can sucking in your gut pose” she’s still not half the pig she once was…Good times…
Who cares. Firstly, Lady Gaga is the devil. She is so fucking irritating with her bullshit costumes and obnoxious stageshow, it is all a try hard lie that probably stems from having a shitty face people always laughed at, and in turn has made her pump all her efforts into distracting us from her shitty face…. Secondly, she pulled out her tit last week so we’ve all seen her nipple, and I was thinking she was finally onto something, after two years of bullshit, not cuz I like looking at Gaga nipple, but at least her tit is better than looking at this… Seriously, once you expose your tit to the world, there’s no reason to put a bra back on, we’ve all see what you’re packing, it’s probably best to stick to that road, and keep heading down it. There’s nothing worse that fucking a bitch when she’s drunk, only to run into her again and have her pretend it didn’t happen or that you don’t have every fold of her labia memorized/engraved into your core, especially when she looks like fucking gaga… This back tracking is almost as stupid as she consistently looks.
The only thing I really know about Monica Bellucci is that she’s some WOP who made it in America on some level or another because she had fat tits. I couldn’t tell you what movie or TV show she was in, or if she is even an actor, but I can tel you that she has big tits….big tits that lose their appeal as she pushes 50, but big tits never the less. Elle France did a photoshoot/feature on her, she got naked….or at least seemingly naked cuz her labia is all folded up and hidden and not exposed…which is really all I care to see when I hear a bitch is naked…to me, seeing the labia is what defines being naked and these subtle teases don’t do anything but annoy me…but I did POST HER NIPPLE ONCE … At least you get to see her give herself a handbra….god know why you’d want to see that…but I guess you’re a better person cuz you do…that’s what we call inflating the importance of the content I bring you every day…pretending it’s not drivel smut…but some higher level shit… Now, look at the pics
Apparently Taylor Momsen flashed the crowd with her electrical tape clad titties yesterday, cuz she’s starved for attention, showing the world just how rock she is, cuz she just doesn’t give a fuck, you see years of being a childstar make you hard…..you know essentially nothing but a bullshit hustle, for a bullshit girl, who will have no choice but to fuck on camera when she finally does turn 18, cuz that’s where she’s at right now….. The whole Taylor thing is useless and waste of time, or as useless and a waste of time as a teen flashing her tits can be, which I guess isn’t really useless or a waste of time at all, but she’s still a fucking try hard joke who shouldn’t exist….even if she wins us perverts over. On a side note, I’m so good at the internet I got you this genius clip of the flashing… You’d think people coulda got some better footage…Oh well. To See All The Hot Taped Up Titty Pics FOLLOW THIS LINK
Here is highschool drop out turned heroin addict model with a dead boyfriend turned actor that I hardly remember wanting to fuck a long time ago, but I can’t figure out why, but assume it had to do with being down to fuck anything with a pussy, especially when it is younger and in magazines, photoshopped and hot bodied….. She’s in a bikini, even though there should be a cut off date, just based on principle, where a bitch shouldn’t be allowed in a bikini, even if she’s not fat and people can still jerk off to her in a bikini, cuz we need to lead by fucking example, as more 35 year olds don’t look like this, so we don’t want them getting any ideas that make them think that they do….or that they can pull it off too…cuz more 35 year olds are moms with mom bodies not ex heroin addict bodies…. But then again, who really cares about what I think…. To See The Rest of the Pics FOLLOW THIS LINK
I wasn’t on the internet this weekend, only because I was getting so fucking drunk that my nervous system is still fucked, shaking, confused, nightmares of losing my last remaining teeth, you get what I’m saying…. But I did log into facebook at least once, looking for internet pussy, to make it all okay, and this video from June 3 was making the rounds. I saw it 10 times in 3 minutes, clicked through to see it had 4 million views, that have become 5,000,000 views, and I’ll tell you this, as funny a concept as shitty, creepy dating site videos is, this is totally fake, staged and a hired actor. If you think otherwise, you’re an idiot. It’s gotta be her school project for her MBA or maybe her acting reel, or something, anything that’s not legit. Now let’s get on with our day…and stop posting this on my facebook feed…it makes me want to cut the bitch with my dick. To See The Video FOLLOW THIS LINK
