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The ladies hit the slopes tonight on  The Real Housewives of Orange County . Things heat up between Gretchen and Heather as more than just snowballs are thrown between them.  Was this all part of Vicki’s evil plan? We’ll find out now in our  THG +/- recap! Lydia has a makeup artist come over to help her, uh, get dressed for the day. Minus 12. She’s taking all the girls to Canada to celebrate her Canadian-ness. Alexis brings her a Swarovski-covered Bible to take to Canada to protect her against the drama from the other ladies.  Oh–charity event. That’s why the makeup artist is there.    Tamra and Heather are shopping again and maybe Tamra didn’t pick the right dress . Tamra doesn’t like the cold. But she’s going to Canada anyway. Heather can only stay in Whistler for a short time because she has to get back to the  Malibu Country set, but if she can go and support Lydia, she’s happy to do it. And maybe test Terry’s yes-man resolve in the process, right?  Plus 4. Tamra and Heather discuss Lauri’s loose lips and how she told Gretchen that Vicki had a threesome. Which Gretchen proceeded to tell both Tamra and Heather on separate occasions.  Minus 9 . Tamra thinks she should tell Vicki what’s being said, but Heather thinks it’s none of their business and they should just keep quiet. Yes, please listen to Heather. Gretchen is getting ready to start packing for their trip to Whistler. “Cold” for Orange County is about 60 degrees, and Gretchen seems to have a fur for every single degree. How will she ever decide which to take?  Minus 9 . Alexis is packing and in addition to her ridiculous fur hat, she has a ring on her ski glove so the women won’t make fun of her ring anymore.  Plus 12 Gretchen found a 1980s-esque ski suit that makes her look like a buttoned up Charlie’s Angel. Plus 10 for loving life.  Vicki’s bringing the fun bus to Whistler just like she did to Mexico. And backless shirts. For below 0 temperatures.  Minus 3. Lauri’s ready for the trip to Whistler. She grew up in the snow and scoffs at the other women wearing their Christian Louboutins.  Heather’s going to be in Whistler for 6 hours. And then she’s headed to the set of her new show. Oh, Heather. Lydia’s excited that she planned this trip because this way she knows there won’t be any giant penises or strippers. But Vicki brought a fun bus, so there’s no telling what’s in her bag.  In the bus on the ride to Whistler, Heather tells the girls that she’s not staying very long. She calls Gretchen out on the  Malibu Country thing and then Alexis says they called her publicist, too. It’s Fox Five: Redux.  Minus 10 Heather’s not buying that either of them got a phone call and to be honest, isn’t making herself look great. Finally, the girls are at their resort. They head to their rooms to freshen up before going to Lydia’s room to meet her uncle. She wants to protect him from the girls. Which is smart.  Plus 4 . While Vicki and Lauri laugh together, Tamra fumes about what she knows. Seethes, even. Should she tell Vicki or should she not tell Vicki? That is her question.  Minus 13.  Gretchen asks Uncle Greg if he knows a lot about Canada. The women start laughing. Because that’s a dumb question. Dumb and hilarious. Poor Gretch. It came from a good place, right? The girls start introducing Uncle Greg and Vicki and it’s incredibly awkward. This will likely drive Vicki to drink more and make an ass of herself. We hope. Whew. Uncle Greg has a girlfriend. And with that information the room falls into an awkward silence that Heather breaks by announcing her departure.  It’s time to ski! The girls meet their ski instructor and get fitted for boots and skis and Lydia’s “not a nerd.” She doesn’t ski. She snowboards. Ugh. Pretentious.  Minus 9. Vicki tells Gretchen that she looks like a Q-tip and then makes fun of Gretchen’s outfit. Lighten up, Vicki.  Minus 2. In the ski lift to the top of the mountain, Lydia says she’s so proud of everyone for getting along. Which means everyone’s about to get along no longer.  In the other ski lift, Lauri asks Gretchen if she’s talked to Vicki yet. Gretchen drops the threesome tidbit in front of Alexis and then Lauri begins to recant her story. She never said threesome. Just that Vicki was with another woman and a man. Basically, this is Lauri’s way of putting this all on Gretchen.  Minus 39. This should be fun.  Before it can all fall to pieces at the top of the hill, they have to take selfies in the ski lift. Of course. Neither Alexis nor Tamra believe Vicki capable of having had a threesome. Gretchen believes it’s possible because Gretchen wants to believe it’s possible. Lydia says that no one skis anymore and wants to know what generation the other women were born in. Well, Lydia, at least three of them probably weren’t born in yours, so there’s that.  Vicki and Tamra head to a bigger hill to ski together and after having some fun, Tamra tells Vicki what she’s heard from Lauri and Gretchen. Vicki’s ready to throw down with Lauri.  Plus 4. Vicki asks Gretchen about the things Lauri said and eventually admits to being unfaithful to Donn.  Plus 5 for honesty.  She, however, refuses to admit that there’s even the slightest possibility that Gretchen never cheated on Jeff, despite Gretchen’s continued insistence that she didn’t cheat. Then Vicki throws Tamra under the bus, too.  Where’s Lydia to mediate this conversation into a peaceful kumbaya? Oh, right. Snowboarding.  Plus 8.   Alexis skis over and wonders why the women can’t just take care of their conversations in private. Vicki says she has no desire to talk to someone who starts rumors but if she wanted to, she could let the skeletons out of Lauri’s closet. While Vicki starts to shout at Lauri and Lauri calmly defends herself, Lydia goes snowboarding right on by. Where’s Lydia’s mother with  her peace-bringing ways? Vicki uninvites Lauri to dinner even though this is Lydia’s trip. Alexis, Lydia, and Tamra make snow angels (and boobs) to cope.  Plus 2. Vicki leaves and Lauri and Gretchen are left standing. Lauri asserts that she never said that Vicki was having an actual threesome. Gretchen says that’s what it felt like Lauri was implying. Point to Gretchen here because that’s definitely what it seemed like Lauri was implying until just now when she’s being called on her tale-toting ways.  Tamra thinks Gretchen and Lauri should both leave. Lydia blames Gretchen for starting drama on the trip.  Really, Lydia? This group of women on a trip. What did you expect? EPISODE TOTAL: -57 SEASON TOTAL: -247

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Snow Bunnies